diazwake - Tumblr blog

[diazwake]

i'm currently making my way through the accidental kissing tag for buddie fics and aafjdklafjkdlasjdklafjklsajf

cause what do you mean they love each other so much and their lives fit together so perfectly they just kiss goodbye one day and don't notice until hours later 🥺🥺🥺

[diazwake]

The garden is full of flowers

[diazwake]

it's fucking insane that maddie had everyone visit buck to check in on him and eddie just. waited. waited for buck to come to him. because he knew he'd get overwhelmed and knew he'd find his way to him. he knew not to push or pressure or insist. he just waited and the second buck knocked on his door he didn't question him, just instantly accepted that he didn't want to talk. then proceeded to provide him a safe space by letting him fall asleep on his couch and by softly asking if he was ready to talk about it after he woke up. and this fits right in with what eddie told buck about how chim knew maddie in a different way than buck did. maddie knows buck, of course she does. but it's different than the way eddie knows him. and dear god, does eddie know him. he only opened up about dying to eddie. it's always eddie. and this isn't normal and I'm tired of them being so blind and not realizing it. eddie waited. for buck. and I'm gonna vomit. they need to be together, this is just insanity.

[diazwake]

Do you guys think about Eddie and Buck having the same problem.They both have this same thought of them not being enough.

Eddie wanst a good enough husband for Shannon. Not good enough son for his parents not good enough father for Christopher. No matter what he does and how hard he tries its just not enough.

Buck wasn't good enough for parents, not good enough parts to bring Daniel back. Not good enough to have anyone stay. Not good enough to love. Nothing he’s had to offer was enough to make anyone stay to make anyone care.

Do you think about how similar Buck and Eddie thoughts on themselves are.

Like they don’t think highly of themselves at all.

[diazwake]

[diazwake]

just had a pumpkin spice latte for the first time. this fucks. everyone apologise to women right now

[diazwake]

i'm still stuck on "wait. tommy's gay?" like the start of that scene leading up to buck's coming out is pretty much eddie begging buck to make the decision for him to break up with marisol, similar to in season 5 when eddie came clean about how he feels about ana and buck basically told him to break up with her (which eddie does immediately after). but this scene is just so much more... charged. and gay.

eddie asks "what do i tell her?" and when buck responds with the literal "tell her you're getting sushi for dinner" (in other words "GO SEE YOUR GF"), eddie is like "the menu is not the issue" (in other words "I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY GF, BUCK,"). he says marisol is 'expecting him to come home' in a way that suggests he's waiting for buck's OK to text her that he's not showing up.

poor eddie even emphasizes that chris isn't going to be home for a few days, quite literally dropping every hint that he just wants to spend time with buck after that whole ordeal with the basketball game. up until he finally states "you and tommy have the right idea, stay single, hang out with the boys" (aka what eddie was planning to do in that moment and for the next few days with buck because he sure as hell was not planning on heading back to marisol that night).

but what happens instead is buck tells him he's dating (or was dating) tommy, and eddie isn't surprised buck is dating men, not really. eddie knows buck. buck has been flirting with men since before he joined the 118 and has flirted with men since, and i guarantee eddie has noticed and kept that fact hidden and kept under tight lock somewhere within him. it isn't until this scene where eddie is confronted with it that it becomes so real.

for a second there eddie seems elated that tommy had dumped him. but buck just, says he's still interested in tommy. that he wants to be with tommy. "i kinda can't stop thinking about him." eddie is CRUSHED. this is the moment where i think the weight of everything starts to come down for eddie. someone else, another man, saw what he saw in buck, and actually took the chance. eddie took to long.

walk with me here, buck was single, eddie was planning to be single. eddie saw buck's desperate cry for attention and was willing to give it to him that night, eddie praying for buck to just say the words, to tell him to cancel his plans with marisol, to tell him to dump her. all of the sudden buck looks SO happy thinking about being with the man eddie has been quickly befriending.

that attention buck was vying for? in that moment eddie might have thought (incorrectly) that it was all for tommy. and he can't deny buck happiness. he can't. he tells buck to talk to tommy, and doubles down on working things out with marisol.

eddie took that moment as a sign to 'stick it out' with out her, like he said he would with ana before buck let him know "that's not how you talk about someone you're in love with."

it's wild. eddie says "this doesn't change a thing between us" but by the end of their conversation he had convinced himself he needs to make things work with marisol. he didn't want to, didn't plan to, but he does it anyways because in that moment buck had in fact changed everything between them.

[diazwake]

they were so real for this

[diazwake]

In S6E15 Buck and Eddie are talking and Buck says that he feels like Natalia is the only one who truly sees him. And Eddie (intentionally or unintentionally, idk) looks pretty offended by that.

Fast forward to S7E4, Buck is literally begging Eddie to see him, and Eddie just won't. Buck is going crazy about it, looking like a kicked puppy, he's peacocking around, showing off his muscles and extraordinary basketball skills, and Eddie just won't look at him. If this show had consistent writing, I'd say Eddie was doing it on purpose, punishing him for that comment.

I really hope that if when Buddie goes canon, I hope we see these moments revisited. Can't believe S8 is gonna be here in only one week!!

[diazwake]

thank you ryan guzman for weaponizing those big brown doe eyes every chance you get

[diazwake]

[diazwake]

give me a three minute (at least) scene of buck helping eddie shave the mustache off, for whatever reason. lots of close ups. lots of hands cradling jawlines. lots of tender careful touches. lots of getting distracted between the mustache and lips and eyes. good lord

[diazwake]

hey guys imagine eddie being sad and lonely after a shift bc chris left and buck is w temu after eddie insisted he go spend time w his boyfriend bc he’s spent so much time with eddie and eddie feels guilty about it, so eddie is alone and sad and is just drinking a beer in his kitchen and he decides to go through some of chris’s old drawings and he finds the anatomically correct heart that chris had drawn and he gets teary eyed, and then underneath it is buck’s heart drawing and eddie holds it and looks at it for a few silent moments before his soft smile drops and his eyes go wide and he just goes “oh fuck…”

[diazwake]

My favorite type of Buddie fic is the kind where they start having platonic, no-homo, gay sex and each fall in love with each other but think the other doesn't like them like that.

Despite the, you know, gay sex they keep having with each other.