dethromancer

[dethromancer]

I am standing in front of a large whiteboard. Striding confidently, I reach the electric pencil sharpener and insert my tongue to an excited whir. Task concluded it releases my mangled and bloody, but pointy, flesh pen. Struggling to stay conscious, I scrawl my message face first until it the masterpiece is finished: I Eat Ass. "'Ank, 'ou 'or 'oming 'oo 'y 'ed 'alk", I manage to croak out before I am crushed to death by an uncalled for tsunami of volunteers.

[dethromancer]

Celebrities will either have a name like Rizagger Daggerton with a birth name like Dan Jones or be named Tommy Scrungles, but have Thomasin Scrungaloid on their driver's license.

[dethromancer]

Why did the pandemic go from Sound of Silence to Electric Avenue and how do we put it back?

[dethromancer]

Gobert is the male version of the name Gabby.

[dethromancer]

The pure chaotic energy in the world due to this not only existing and the recommended drink being blue mtn dew is only intensified by the fact that it is framed by the angelic chorus of My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark by FOB. God. Damn. Madness.

[dethromancer]

Old Man Pissed In The Trashcan is a great album name, art film title, or impressionistic painting placard all at once and yet came from the very real experience I just had at 6:50 am. Art imitates life imitates art...

[dethromancer]

All seeing. All knowing. Nearly caused me to die in a car accident. God?🙃

[dethromancer]

Remember kids, if ya wanna get with spaghetti-hos, you gotta use permission cheese.

[dethromancer]

Gary Jules: All around me are familiar faces. Worn out places, worn out faces.

Me: Can't believe he's been to my hometown!