defiantcatlady

[defiantcatlady]

having to do Things? on the collective birthday of all women on earth? i do not think so

[defiantcatlady]

[defiantcatlady]

[defiantcatlady]

after over a year of feeling like death warmed over and being told over and over that it’s “just depression” or I’m making it up, finally someone believed me and actually found something! and they even said it’s fixable with a few months of (intensive, ugh) physiotherapy. I’m so hopeful it will work and so scared it won’t, but it should only (”only”) take a few months, so I’ll know soon enough.

[defiantcatlady]

[defiantcatlady]

This is fucking insane

[defiantcatlady]

the state of radblr right now makes me so sad. and i was wondering- do osa women realise that one of the main reasons lesbian radfems are so often separatists and dream of nothing more than living in the woods by themselves or with other lesbians, is because of them? because we are such a minority. just numbers wise, there are so few exclusively ssa women. and we want liberation from males, sure, but we also want community, and then shit like this keeps happening and that only reminds us that we have no community with you. and you are the majority, the 90% majority. so our choices are to either keep forgiving lesbophpbia, be understanding of your entitlement and privilige (concepts you have no trouble recognising in other scenarios when YOU are not the oppressors), or- what? exactly. or we can accept that the only women we can only truly have community with is other lesbians (which is incredibly depressing when you actually believe in female class solidarity), and so we aspire to building our own communities away from all this dumb shit. so this idea that lesbian separatist radfems are on some kind of a high horse and feel morally superior is just both hilariously and depressingly deluded and uninformed. unlike some of y’all, we are engaging with reality- that it might not be safe or good (and therefore possible) to get the things that we desire (like being able to live in a wider society where our osa sisters will prioritise women the same way we do), so we are making decisions accordingly.

[defiantcatlady]

I really liked this response re: women wanting their uteri removed because they don't want children.

[defiantcatlady]

i do actually think that the writing of 'weird girl' characters in media is as big of an issue as it is because of the fact that a good handful of the people working in the media industry have never... been..... really outcast in their life. like maybe they have struggled or felt out of place but the reason people relate to 'weird girl' characters isnt because theyre too smart for anyone to understand or theyre snarky and always right, its the awkward fumblings that come with trying to become your own person in a world not really built to accommodate people LIKE you.

and that can come in like, so many different forms of oppression or just personal fears/shortcomings, but the thing it winds up as is a very cleaned up conventionally attractive character being allotted as 'weird' for things that a 60 year old man in hollywood and his hired writer/s consider 'weird' or 'socially outcastable' which is usually like. being. mean? to people?? and writing it off as a #girlboss moment?

[defiantcatlady]

when someone says "X is true," the only way to debunk their argument is to prove X is not true. but people on this site rarely do that. they usually say one of the following instead:

1. If X is true, that implies [something bad], therefore it's not true

2. If X is true, that would hurt my/someone else's feelings, therefore it's not true

Both of these statements are logical fallacies. They do nothing to debunk the original argument. I understand it's important to talk about implications and feelings, but those discussions should happen after an argument has been debunked with evidence. Not before.

right now, it seems like there's a debate on whether or not it's worth it for women to date men. some people are saying "it's not worth dating men." The only way to debunk this argument is to prove that it is worth it to date men, which would require evidence of men worth dating. So the debate should be on what qualifies a man to be worthy of dating, what percentage of men fit this profile, and if the effort needed to find this man is worth it. But that's not the debate at all. The only responses to the argument "it's not worth dating men" I've seen so far have been either:

1. "if it's true that men aren't worth dating, that implies celibacy for straight women, therefore it's not true"

or

2. "if it's true that men aren't worth dating, that would hurt my/other straight women's feelings, therefore it's not true"

Both of these are logcial fallacies and do not debunk the original argument. Again, I do think it's important to talk about implications and feelings, so I'm not saying these statements have no place in the discussion. But I am saying that implications and feelings do not debunk arguments. Only evidence can do that. And right now, the only way to move this discussion forward is for us to start discussing evidence of men worth dating.

[defiantcatlady]

Something deeply painful is the fact that seasons, especially fall, dont feel the same. Not because of individual maturity but because climate change has impacted the weather patterns so so so much that we cant even experience the same annual shifts that our ancestors have for centuries

I feel displaced, i yearn for the spring, summer, fall, and winter that i can barely remember experiencing

[defiantcatlady]

on my post about seeking fulfilling female friendships instead of draining, isolating het relationships, I keep seeing OSA women saying something along the lines of "It's not enough." I understand the craving¹ for romantic love, but men are not capable of giving you that. I'm sorry. The men out of Jane Austen novels are not real. Men like that do not exist. Men do not care about you. They do not respect you. They might pretend to, but they will turn on you in the end. Even if by some miracle you do wind up with "one of the good ones," and I'm being generous in saying there are maybe 100 of those on the planet, how do you know he's actually one of the good ones? Are you willing to bet your life on that? Your whole life? Finances, pets, health, wellbeing, sanity, housing, employment/schooling? What about your kids' lives, if you choose to reproduce with him?

Every single woman raped or abused or murdered by her intimate partner thought she was picking a good one, or at least that she could fix him. Change him. Every. Single. One. What makes you better than her? Smarter than her? Do you think she was stupid? What makes you think you are different? Do you think she just wasn't trying hard enough? That she didn't love him enough? Is your reasoning #NotAllMen?

I know you want to be loved. Men can't give you that. I'm sorry, but they can't. Getting angry with lesbians and other separatists for pointing this out to you does not change the cold, hard reality of that. We're all part of the radical feminist/rad-adjacent community here, right? Let's employ those critical thinking skills and really, really think about this.

How is that generous estimate of a ~0.000000000143% chance that you won this shitshow of a lottery worth the risk of the special hell that men visit on women every day²? Why do you think he's different? Could he have fabricated any indicators that he's different to entrap you³?

It's a very simple cost benefit analysis. The reality of it is that you can't access the romantic love you deserve either way. Men simply aren't capable of it. Why? The most optimistic answer is patriarchal socialization, which we all experience in one of two aggressively gendered ways. Think long and hard about whether or not the risk is worth it. I promise you, it's not, and I'm sorry it makes you defensive to hear it. Men simply do not see us as human.

¹Yes, it is a craving, not a need. No one ever died from lack of sex or romantic love.

²Again, men's choice to abuse is always, always men's fault. If you're going to jump down my throat accusing me of victim-blaming women, save your energy and devote it to developing reading comprehension instead.

³Yes, men do this on a massive scale. See Reddit for multitudinous examples. No, #NotAllMen are Redditors, but all men tolerate Redditors and their misogyny to some extent.

[defiantcatlady]

The problem with the teeny tiny blackpilled lesbian minority is that its growing, and that besides the small minority that says that shit directly there's a much larger and even faster growing group that just reblogs or likes those posts encouraging both groups to grow. And no one stands up to them at all. Then people like you show up to insist its all trivial, that lesbians can't affect anything so who cares if they harass some unimportant bi rape victims, and that we should have uwu Compassion for these sexually harassing lesbians uwu they probably have Good Reasons To Sexually Harass (tm) even if you disagree with their word choices.

And then you just ignore it as a non-problem for months as it grows, because still who gives a shit about their targets if its just some bisexuals, its ignorable to make jokes about how hets rape and abuse them. Your fault if you don't choose to look the other way bihets!

Until some homophobic HET woman says homophobic shit and now you all blame all "OSA" women equally. And you suddenly care about the blackpilled lesbians only after you think its finally "made you look bad" and they also picked fights with some lesbians. But even then you stress that its too tiny a minority for the bi ppl they've harassed for months or years to matter and everyone should forget about it. Whatever.

I have stated both publicly, and privately to these women, that I disagree with what they’re doing and I’ve explained why. So have other lesbians.

And honestly, that’s more than I need to do. Because what people like you completely miss, is that lesbians are a minority. A VAST minority. We are a tiny population. “Blackpilled” lesbians are an even smaller minority, and a tinier population. Let’s say there’s 100 lesbians on this site for every 1000 OSA women (I’m not good at math, I’m not looking up statistics and scaling it down appropriately. You get the point). Out of those lesbians, let’s say we have 5 blackpills. The “problem” of this population growing might mean there’s now 10. Because again, we are talking about a minority within a tiny minority.

Now, consider that lesbians are currently facing absolute demolition to our community due to gender ideology, on top of the regularly scheduled conservative homophobia we face. If you were in our place, would you put your time and energy into fighting the hundreds and thousands of people taking a jackhammer to our community both on and offline, or would you put it into fighting the 5-10 blackpilled lesbians online? Most of us have said our piece about the blackpills, and they’ve seen what we’ve said. Now we have to go back to stopping men from wanting to rape and kill us, and the rhetoric that enables them. You can block the 5-10 blackpills. I can’t block the thousands of homophobes on and offline.

[defiantcatlady]

I AM HAUNTED BY A PAST I CANNOT GO BACK TO !!!!!! anyways

[defiantcatlady]

Under what rock are all these entitled men coming from?

[defiantcatlady]

[defiantcatlady]

It is exhausting!