dazeddeadlines

[dazeddeadlines]

To be a bitch or to not be a bitch...

I’m sure this could be applicable for men too, but I’ve noticed a pattern in school and work; women who don’t mess around with their work and duties are placed in the bitch category whereas women who don’t take themselves seriously or are too humble are “not bitches”, why? Because women who are humble and undermine their intelligence and self-worth are not seen as threats. Bitches on the other hand, are self assured and confident. Some days I want to take the side of a man. I have a coworker who is very demanding and outspoken without hesitation or consideration of anyone else, and she's especially rude to me. For a while I wanted to be the “chill coworker” and be the nicer one of the two of us. Other days, I admire her manner of demanding respect. She’s outspoken and unapologetic. As much as I want to point my finger and say she’s a bitch, she isn’t. She is rude, yes, but at the end of the day she is just doing her job and sometimes she does it better than me. I found it threatening at first, because we both started working at the same time.

The more we started working together, the more I began to adopt some of her work habits. I then began to apply it to my school life. In my math class especially. I am retaking CALC1A this spring semester. I remember hating group problems the first time I took calculus, but I grew to love them. They're very introspective. I had this fear of establishing myself as correct or even sharing my thoughts on a math problem out of fear that I'd embarrass myself. I’m sure men have this fear too, but for women especially it’s humiliating when you have a male student in your calc class breathing down your neck waiting to correct you on your mistakes to establish himself as smarter to feed his own ego. But with all the recent events I’ve experienced I’ve learned that as women, we have to be audacious. We have to be bitches to survive. It’s not worth it to undermine your intelligence, reasoning, or yourself in general to appease the ego’s of your male counterparts or to appear humble just to be likeable or “not-a-bitch”. We have to approach life with the ego’s and audacity of men, otherwise the opportunities will slip right below us. And it’s rewarding feeling some kind of respect for your words and reasoning in math class. It feels great. It helped me grow more confident and to love myself even more than I do. Being humble will do you no favors other than appearing to be more likable or “not bitchy”. Be a bitch. In the words of my mother, “would you rather be outspoken and bitchy or apologize for your existence?”

[dazeddeadlines]

The R building

The R building is cold. Sometimes, it reminds me of that kind of cold that makes you shiver in excitement under the blanket. Other times it’s a sad and lonely kind of cold. One thing is for sure it has the coldness of something new and fresh. Nerve-wracking yet exciting. I like the cold in moderation. Maybe I’ll study ahead to give myself a sweater to prepare for the cold weather. Maybe I’ll storm through the cold head on. Suddenly my toes are cold. Cold feet. I don’t want to keep trying anymore. I hate that cold. Maybe this semester I’ll remember to bring a sweater every day.

[dazeddeadlines]

spring semester just started so here's a lil thangg

Reminders for semester success

set yourself up for success early! don't even think about procrastinating girl...

Get ahead early. either you're ahead and prepared or scrambling and behind. there is no "on track".

it's OKAY to mess up. not the end of the world. take a walk, touch some grass, take a chill pill, then an ambition pill. you got this. recover and proceed.

study till you're excited about the exam. hate exams? that's probably cause you're nervous. manipulate yourself into thinking that test anxiety is just excitement. think rollercoasters. scary but fun!

create an alliance with someone in your class!! talk!! Jesus christ talk! PLEASE! do NOT suffer in silence, share notes, study together if you can.

that's all! best wishes (*≧∀≦)