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female awesome meme ▷ [7/20] dynamics → nancy and barb (stranger things)

“it’s like everyone forgot [about her], and no one cares.”

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STRANGER THINGS ⏤ 1.08, "The Upside Down"

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How well do you see color?

I’m cry I scored 60, I feel blind

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okay so i’ve got something i wanna talk about here but you have to promise not to kill me.

i want to talk about the accepted risk of doing sex. specifically i’m thinking here about sometimes when you’re playing with a partner, or even if you’re just having fairly vanilla sex, sometimes your boundaries WILL get violated. sometimes you’ll agree to something and then realize during or after that you didn’t actually want it. a partner will try something without checking first and you won’t enjoy it. you’ll get drunk and hook up with someone you normally wouldn’t. your partner will forget a limit you’ve set and cross it.

now listen to me. each and every one of you should strive to be firm with the boundaries you set, and each and every one of you should do your absolute level best to understand and respect the boundaries that your partner has set. nothing i’m saying here is an endorsement of ignoring someone’s boundaries, or of deprioritizing boundaries and communication. that said, it is inevitable that your boundaries will sometimes be crossed in sexual situations. it just happens. completely unintentionally, or even in spite of direct intention to NOT violate boundaries, sometimes a line is gonna get crossed. i know i’ve been in situations where a partner did something that made me uncomfortable, and i know i’ve been the one who’s made my lover uncomfortable. so what do we do with this?

first of all, you gotta accept it can happen. that’s part of being “risk aware.”

second of all, you need to know the feelings you’re having are normal. a sense of violation, betrayal, feeling angry or sad or just plain gross. these are natural feelings. sex can be really really intimate, especially in a kink context, and it makes sense that these feelings are going to come up. let yourself feel them, process them, before you act. it’s important that you don’t lash out from the place of hurt, especially when the other party is also a member of a vulnerable community.

third. think about the situation. was it intentional? did the person mean to hurt you? were they trying to take advantage of you? was it honest mistake, or a case of miscommunication?

if you look at the situation and decide that the violation was intentional, was malicious, frankly that is beyond the scope of this post. there are other people who can speak far more clearly than i can on how we handle justice within a community, especially one made up of vulnerable people, such as the trans community is. (the trans rules of engagement are a good place to start!) but what do we do when we know we’ve been made uncomfortable or that harm has been done, but we don’t think it was intentional?

you don’t want to burn them, you don’t want to kick them out of your life, you don’t want to ruin their reputation over a mistake, even if you’re feeling hurt. it can be easier to label them an abuser or just ghost them entirely, but listen. this is the really scary part: you have to talk to them. you have to go to the person and tell them. “hey, when we did xyz that made me feel really violated. can we talk about this?” this is really where the community building and the relationship strengthening comes in. for the injured party- this is going to be scary and vulnerable and fucking difficult. for the party who has caused harm- you need to be receptive to this. a lot of feelings are going to come up. guilt, shame, insecurity, defensiveness, frustration, even anger. it is not easy to be told you’ve hurt someone, especially someone you care about, especially if you didn’t mean to. if these feelings flood in first, you cant lead with them. it’s okay to feel them, feelings are just information, but reacting with defensiveness is not fair to this person who has come to you with a vulnerable heart. neither is expressing shame in a way that makes them feel they have to comfort you. if these feelings come up, there’s nothing wrong with saying “i want to talk about this but im feeling xyz, can i have some time to regulate/process/prepare before w have this conversation?”

once you’re actually in that conversation, all you can really do is listen and try to understand. if you hit them with the “well i thought-“ or “i was just trying to-“ you’re not rly listening. there is, of course, room for “i’m so sorry, that was not my intention” but be careful not to fall into defending yourself when you’re supposed to be empathizing.

there’s only so much i can say here past this point. it’s going to come down to your individual situation and conversation. all i can ask is that you be vulnerable with one another, be honest with one another, and listen to one another with the direct intent of understanding.

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She's so tired of him 😭

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*guy who has repressed every feeling he's ever had* yeah I'm just really good at rolling with the punches I guess haha

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God I love Dustin Henderson so much man, I know Will is in love with Mike because only a deeply down bad homosexual would be able to say Mike “is the heart” when Dustin is alive and in the party. Dustin is the one constantly mediating in S1 between Mike and Lucas, he’s even insecure of his own newness to the group when he conciliates. Because even though the party are all HIS best friends he is able to rationalize why they might have a hierarchy based on seniority. Mike makes it clear that isn’t the case. It’s partly why Dustin is quicker to accept Eleven and partly why he’s so open to including Max “as the new kid” because that was him once. Dustin’s iconic “she’s our friend and she’s crazy!” Dustin and Lucas having parallel deviations from their code of honor in ST2 and Dustin being (so dramatic ik) literally ready to fall on the sword for his misdoings. Dustin basically involving Steve out of necessity but then cultivating that relationship to make Steve a good friend, Steve who had the shittiest friends in high school and attention for all the wrong reasons. Steve never had a true friend in his life and then some 12 year old basically gave him a crash course. In ST3 when Dustin earnestly challenges Steve’s socially conditioned need to be seen as cool only for Steve to become bffs with a band geek. A band geek who is also a lesbian that Steve would rather be seen as a rizzless hack of a womanizer than out her to anybody, even Dustin. All of Dustin and Steve. Dustin going from calling Steve a douchebag, to Eddie saying the kid worships him and thinks he’s a total badass. Dustin who in ST4 is once again demolishing social norms of high school vs middle school because FUCK, his friend is in middle school! His friend Erica, his comrade Lady Applejack, is a black girl in junior high and he dgaf what anyone thinks about it. ALL OF DUSTIN AND ERICA. Dustin teaching Erica to embrace her inner nerd, to Erica staunchly declaring “I’ve bled with him!” When asked if she knows Dustin. Dustin who is the FIRST person that Max goes to when shit hits the fan in ST4 because god damn dude Dustin is the heart. Dustin’s unwavering support of Eddie even when the evidence is stacked against him, Dustin always believed in Eddie Munson. Dustin is the only one who truly offers Wayne condolences. He is the friend of all friends. Dustin is constantly carrying the party through crisis and discomfort, he’s dedicated, he’s unabashedly caring, and he’s the character that is able to socially move across the board in every direction. I fuckin love this little curly haired drama king because these geeks would be LOST without him!!! If Dustin isn’t the heart; he’s the Central Nervous System, he’s the nucleus, he’s fucking vital to not only the party but every other tertiary character of importance. He’s constantly inspiring and providing direction. He’s a goofball, he’s wise beyond his years, he’s a lover and he’s a fighter, he always has a plan and he always has a bad idea, he’s the voice of reason and the resounding falsetto alarm of things gone wrong, he’s never done anything wrong ever in his life, one time something ate his cat but besides that. He’s my heart of the show damn it!

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steddie empath soulmate au

When Steve was younger, he had trouble separating what he was feeling from what he wasn’t. A lot of people do at that age. When you can tap into another person’s emotions, it’s hard to know the difference between theirs and your own. 

In school, they give a very quick, very unhelpful lesson on soulmates - only really saying what kids have heard on their own anyway. It’s unspoken that you’re supposed to learn about that kind of thing from your parents - and most of his peers did. 

In his house though, mentioning your soulmate was discouraged. Steve was expected to have a hold over his emotions and just know what it took other kids years and the help of their parents to learn. He was supposed to have a wall. He was supposed to be able to shut the door on his own. He was to know the difference between what he was feeling and what he wasn’t. And for all his parents knew, he did all of that from a young age. 

What Steve had done from a young age was learn how to hide what he was and wasn’t feeling. Like right now. Right now he’s giving his date a ride home from Lucas’ championship game while simultaneously feeling the most scared he both has and hasn’t ever felt. 

He thinks now he understands better what people mean when they say you can just tell when your feelings aren’t your own. For the first time in his life, Steve knows immediately that this emotion doesn’t belong to him. For one, there’s no reason he should be scared to death while driving Brenda home, and he hasn’t felt this scared since July. For two, there is absolutely no way there’s alternate dimension shit happening right now. That shit is supposed to be over with. Then again, that’s what they’ve thought since that first time with the Demogorgon, too. That time also happens to be the first time he felt fear like this. 

It’s such a crash from the high he’s been riding all evening. Everything was exciting and good for a few hours there. 

With shaky hands, he pulls up in front of Brenda’s parent’s house. He can tell that she’s trying to make conversation, maybe expecting more from the end of their night - but he can hardly focus enough to make himself seem at least a little bit like he’s not about to cry. He stumbles his way through a goodbye, not knowing what’s happening and before he knows it he’s alone. 

Usually, Steve would walk her to the door and probably make a move on her. At the very least he’d watch to make sure she got in safe, but right now he drives away the second the passenger door closes. 

He feels an overwhelming urgency to go go go. And he does. Steve drives faster than he ever has - barring the time he saw Billy’s Camaro speeding towards Nancy’s station wagon and t-boned the boy without a second thought. 

He gets home, and for the first time in months, he opens his trunk and takes out his nail-bat. He makes quick work of getting inside his house and locking the door, looking over his shoulder the entire time. He goes around the whole house making sure all the doors and windows are locked. When he’s checking the back door - the one that leads out to the pool, he hesitates, eyes lingering on the woods that line his yard. 

Before ‘83 - before Barb - Steve wasn’t afraid of much. He felt like he was on top of the world and like nothing could bring him down. Now, though, he only goes to the backyard to complete the yard maintenance expected from him by his parents. 

Steve knows that locking the place up won’t fend off a Demogorgan - that thing came right out of the Byers’ wall, no door necessary - but it makes him feel the tiniest bit better, more secure. 

He makes his way upstairs and stumbles through getting ready for bed - as if he’ll be getting any sleep tonight. 

He knows, okay? He knows that these probably aren’t his feelings and that there’s no need to be this revved up, but he can feel it. His heart is pounding and he knows deep in his bones that he isn’t safe. 

It’s not until he lies in bed that an immense sense of grief and guilt flows over him. Steve curls up, pulling his knees to his chest, and tries not to cry.

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This but with them

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“[after a half-hearted suicide attempt at age 13] When Daddy comes in, he carries you to bed. Is there anything you feel like you could eat, Pokey? Anything at all? All you can imagine putting in your mouth is a cold plum, one with really tight skin on the outside but gum-shocking sweetness inside. And he and your mother discuss where he might find some this late in the season. Mother says hell I don’t know. Further north, I’d guess. The next morning, you wake up in your bed and sit up. Mother says, Pete, I think she’s up. He hollers in, You ready for breakfast, Pokey. Then he comes in grinning, still in his work clothes from the night before. He’s holding a farm bushel. The plums he empties onto the bed river toward you through folds in the quilt. If you stacked them up, they’d fill the deepest bin at the Piggly Wiggly. Damned if I didn’t get the urge to drive to Arkansas last night, he says. Your mother stands behind him saying he’s pure USDA crazy. Fort Smith, Arkansas. Found a roadside stand out there with a feller selling plums. And I says, Buddy, I got a little girl sick back in Texas. She’s got a hanker for plums and ain’t nothing else gonna do. It’s when you sink your teeth into the plum that you make a promise. The skin is still warm from riding in the sun in Daddy’s truck, and the nectar runs down your chin. And you snap out of it. Or are snapped out of it. Never again will you lay a hand against yourself, not so long as there are plums to eat and somebody-anybody-who gives enough of a damn to haul them to you. So long as you bear the least nibblet of love for any other creature in this dark world, though in love portions are never stingy. There are no smidgens or pinches, only rolling abundance. That’s how you acquire the resolution for survival that the coming years are about to demand. You don’t earn it. It’s given.”

— Mary Karr, from Cherry

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I am consuming a media and you are going to hear about it

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I can be normal about things. Don't look at my blog.

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watching the captain america movies for a project and literally stuckys we were all so right. why is the Only meaningful relationship in the entire mcu the most batshit insane hundred-year love story you've ever seen between two guys from brooklyn new yawk who only had each other. and who went to war. and who made eyes at each other in dark bars. and who were forced to exist as tools and weapons and propagandists rather than men. like what the Actual fuck was happening there

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The image of Peeta as this perfect super sunshine boy to Katniss’s stern girl is such a laugh to me because in the books they both seem like kind people with low self-esteem who are pains in the ass, he’s just better at talking.

Katniss is the softie over here who doesn’t want to make friends during the quell because she plans to kill them all/let them die and Peeta is ready to befriend and then kill them all/let them die. And when she does make friends she picks the weaker ones who while Peeta doesn’t agree he does mention that others see them as a joke

Both of them are ready to fight Haymitch within seconds of meeting him.

Both of them snapped at people during the Victory Tour.

Each time Peeta brings up dying, Katniss kisses him. Each time she brings up dying he argues with her or becomes a strict coach.

Both of them did not want to communicate with each other post the first games because they thought the other didn’t want them around.

But the books are narrated by his future wife who hates herself and refuses to believe she’s in love so she speaks about her admiration like it’s a fact of life we have to believe.

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old lesbian messaging was super vague and ominous i Love It

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The thing about ADHD is that the "lack of reward chemicals in your brain" doesn't just mean that you don't want to do any tasks that don't feel particularly yummy :(, it means that your brain will look at chores and tasks that need to be done like "doing this would be painful and tedious for absolutely nothing to gain from it, Do Not Do That." The same thing that your brain tells you about everything else that would feel really bad and hurt the entire time that you're dying. The part of your brain that stops you from doing the thing is the same part that keeps you from shoving your arm into a wood chipper.

With unmedicated, unmanaged ADHD, "I have to do this assignment or I fail and my life will be ruined and I die" feels like a SAW trap, every single time.

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right before peeta enters his private session with the gamemakers in the first book, katniss impulsively blurts out a string of suggestions for him (thg, 100). suggestions for him to show off his strength to get a better score. because, first and foremost, she is adorable. and, secondly, because she wants to help him.

peeta is genuinely surprised by the sudden outburst. because katniss has just spent days refusing to indulge in his friendly gestures. because why did it matter to act like friends if there was no one around to see them (thg, 100). they would become enemies soon enough. 

so, in his surprise, peeta searches for a suggestion of his own. and his mind awkwardly lands on one. as he reminds her to shoot straight (thg, 100). 

and thus, they move onto another step of their game. one that started with a tribute parade. and continued to a private session. then an interview. and ended with the games itself.

and the cycle of the games continues. with children being dolled up and paraded around as they await their slaughter.

so, it only makes sense that the 76th hunger games follows the same pattern. after all, katniss and finnick were quick to recognize squad 451's deployment to the capitol as the beginning of just another game (mj, 215). 

a game of mutts. of terror. of lost allies.

but these games don't follow the typical timeline of the games. because every single game, at least in katniss's timeline, begins with a tribute parade. one that ends in front of the president's mansion. 

but this game doesn't start with the tribute parade. it ends with it.

ends as peeta and katniss enter the president's circle. just in time for the parachutes to go off. engulfing them in fire (mj, 296).

because the game up to this point? that was snow's game. a game bound to end. bound to die off. a game merely building up to the actual one. 

because with this fiery entrance in a symbolic tribute parade, coin's game starts off. 

and now with the tribute parade checked off, katniss would be whisked away to her next event. the private session with the gamemakers. gaining their approval by showing off her skill. demonstrating her loyalty by aiming an arrow at a target. at snow.

and right before she leaves for her symbolic session. she is met by a fellow tribute. one already entrenched in the games. ready to keep playing under coin's rules. gale.

 who leaves right before katniss. but not before he can remind her to shoot straight (mj, 312).

and the parallel to the first games should make it clear to the reader what will happen next. 

because in katniss's private session for the first games, her arrow shifted its aim from its intended target to the gamemakers themselves (thg, 102). and now, her arrow would shift to find its mark in coin (mj, 316).

because if she hit the intended mark, gaining the approval of this set of gamemakers? the cycle would continue. a new symbolic hunger games would begin. 

because in a government under coin, nothing would change. because no one is safe in a world where government leaders place such a great disregard for children (mj, 320).

so, with the shift in her arrow, katniss changed the trajectory of the games. because she was done being a piece in their game (thg, 141; mj, 185).