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A reflective journal I wrote on the 19th of September, 2021.
'hope of salvation, & thoughts on ascetic life in prayer'
~ I acknowledge that I am a sinner and I have fallen to, and still am committing sin perpetually, same as before and after being illumined of the gravity of the sin and the urgency to have it ridden off.
After countless tries and while still at it, never have I felt more helpless whenever I find myself falling, then struggling to stand back up again to continue my spiritual battle; thinking that I am stuck in this loop of falling to temptations, over and over again, sinning.
Never have I felt so mortified that at the end of my life, finding myself before everyone in Judgment, that I'll be deemed unworthy and my soul be damned for eternity.
But I am certain that my hope stands still, for I am still given by God His grace of the gift of life that I enjoy daily to this day.
So I've come to terms with myself to always look forward to what I can, to do better on the things I did worse yesterday. To try to do, see, and be on the good and truth at all times, and to make sure it is for the greater glory of God.
Every Catholic Christian should aim to be a Saint. I myself could only wish to be, for I know I am no saint, for reasons of my struggle to sin at the beginning of this writing. Right now I don't see myself breaking through my habitual sin, and I've accepted it might be the cross I have to carry for my whole life, a "thorn that was given to me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me" -2 Cor 12:7.
Thus, realizing I won't be going out of this life like Saints do,I figured that my best hope for salvation would be in the purification of my soul in purgatory. With that said. I have the utmost respect and gratitude to people who spend their lives in contemplation and prayer, may they be from the Clergy or Laymen.
But especially the monks, as for me they are the ones who practice the most detachment, living in seclusion and isolation solely to give themselves to God, and even more so respectable to me that they do this as lay people.
With the ascetic and monastic life, I think monks are living as if already purging themselves in this life, but only with the privilege and indulgence of praying and being heard, and that their prayers reach out for everyone, both for the living on earth , and the dead in purgatory.
I don't see myself going into a vocation of religious life nor do I plan to, but if I am to choose to live a religious life, there would be nothing nobler than to lead a monastic life.
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the idea that I can offer to unite my suffering with christ’s, that I can actively choose and ask for god to take pointless unjust pain and make something out of it—something beyond my comprehension but no less real—feels very very very different from the idea that my suffering is justified by “god’s plan”
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Sacrifice without love is pain.
Pain with love is sacrifice.
Pain without love is misery.
Love without pain is Heaven.
Love with pain is purgatory.
Pain without love is hell
-Ven. Archbishop Fulton Sheen
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THE BRAVE LITTLE SOUL
by John Alessi
Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. She especially enjoyed the love she saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however the little soul was sad, for on this day she saw suffering in the world.
She approached God and sadly asked, "Why do bad things happen; why is there suffering in the world?" God paused for a moment and replied,
"Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people's hearts." The little soul was confused. "What do you mean," she asked. God replied, "Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering?
Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone."
The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued,
"The suffering soul unlocks the love in people's hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone.
They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love.
I tell you this - it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer - to unlock this love - to create this miracle for the good of all humanity."
Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain herself. With her wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied.
“I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people's hearts!
I want to create that miracle!"
God smiled and said, "You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone.
I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey.
Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering.
Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you".
God and the brave soul shared a smile, and then embraced.
In parting, God said, "Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed."
Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through her suffering and God's strength, she unlocked the goodness and love in people's hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love.
Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Many began new spiritual journeys, some regained lost faith - many came back to God.
Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together.
Everyone prayed.
Peace and love reigned.
Lives changed forever.
It was good.
The world was a better place.
The miracle had happened. God was pleased.
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Art from the Litany of Loreto and Loreto Embroideries.
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tried composing a tune. glad with the outcome. perfect for my alarm :)
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Profound Benedictine Wisdom...
Source: https://youtu.be/0cj3gzcld3E
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"A humble soul does not trust itself, but places all its confidence in God.” St. Faustina
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Photo
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“Where there is rest and meditation, there is neither anxiety nor restlessness." ~St. Francis of Assisi
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Calming masterpost:
crisis/urgent support lines and sites
hotlines/crisis lines for depression, domestic abuse, alcohol and drug abuse, teens, pregnancy, lgbt and more
mental support community - a forum where you can post that you are in a crisis right now and need peer support as soon as possible
imalive crisis chat - online one-on-one chat for if you’re in at risk of hurting yourself etc
self harm alternatives
si urges alternatives
relaxation/anxiety relief
do nothing for two minutes
interactive silk art
guided relaxation
watch a dream
100,000 stars
thisissand - create sandscapes on your screen with your mouse
calming gif
the quiet place project
the quiet place - find some quiet
the thoughts room - a super calm page to unburden yourself from bad thoughts
the comfort spot - a place for anonymous venting with out anybody judging you for who you are
the dawn room - my personal favourite, especially good for when you feel alone
know that it will be okay - when a moment is too hard for you - come here.
music and sounds
my anxiety relief playlist - on 8tracks
my positivity/recovery playlist - on 8tracks
‘stay strong’ playlists - on 8tracks
coffee shop sounds
rain sounds
calmsound - nature sounds
rainycafe
comfort food
one minute cookie in a mug
brownie in a mug
several cookie recipes
25 hot chocolate recipes
loads and loads of snacks - 533 quick and easy recipes for a range of snacks on studentrecipe
lots of different in-a-mug recipes
chocolate pudding in a mug - my personal fave (lil tip: add mini marshmallows for extra gooey yumminess)
advice and tips
how to be okay with yourself
25 resolutions
life hacks
more life hacks
a hella ton more life hacks - so many life hacks dude soon ur gonna never have a day-to-day stress again
school masterpost - school sucks so bad but hopefully this can help ease the stress
how to love yourself
how to bypass restricted wifi omg
alleviate menstrual cramps
boost your confidence
love yourself!
self help after anxiety
stop biting your nails
stop procrastinating
stop skipping breakfast
videos and movies
cure to sadness (video)
the movie blog - a blog dedicated to movie masterposts you will never be without a movie to watch again
cute roulette - THE BEST PLACE ON THE INTERNET ITS LITERALLY JUST A HUGE ROULETTE OF VIDEOS OF CUTE ANIMALS WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT FROM LIFE
random acts of kindness caught on film
disney movies
movies for angsty teens
distractions etc
rice questions - answer simple questions and donate free rice to people in poverty!!
click to give - just click a button to donate (it costs nothing) food to animals shelters, people in poverty and homeless veterans; mammograms to fight breast cancer; therapy for people on the autism spectrum; alzheimer’s and diabetes research; a book to a child; protect wildlife habitat
break something - good for anger
loads of cute games
how to make a blanket nest
learn something new - a masterpost of hobbies
exercise like a superhero
nice words
things to do when your sad
slap a bald guy with an eel - this is ridiculously entertaining
watch a dog lick your screen - it loops, so you could literally watch for hours if you want
calmingmanatee
daily puppy
how to make a comfort box
download free books
extras
emergency compliment!
lots of compliments - they even include ur name aw
huge list of bloggers who have put themselves forward as willing to listen/chat without judgement
getting anon hate?
:) tag - all the posts that i’ve tagged for making me happy
7cupsoftea - free, anonymous, confidential talks with trained listeners
get a hug
Calming songs, playlists and instrumentals:
Sing Me to Sleep
The Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Boost your Mood (peppier and happy songs)
The Driving Mixtape
Study
Summer Nights
It’s Going to be Fine
Calm & Collected
Once Upon a December - Piano (song)
Clair de Lune (song)
The Moon is a Harsh Mistress (song)
Calming/distracting Websites
The Quiet Place
Rainymood.com
Calm.com
Soundrown.com - calming sounds to mix and match
A website to distract yourself
A recovery masterpost
A post of interesting things
Ungruntle yourself
Press a magic button and fix everything
Play cute games
Almost every movie your little heart desires (i suggest you use with adblocker)
How to love yourself
A website that compliments you
Crafts and activities, easy and fun DYI projects
Glitter calm jars
A list of things to do to curb anxiety
Make a blanket nest
Silky summer legs
Lots of food recipes; mostly desserts
For bad days masterpost
Make some microwave snacks
Five minute fudge
Make a phone case
A bunch of hobbies!
Self care list!
Pretty gold-dipped feathers (for decorating or anything)
What to do when:
You’ve been triggered
You’re having an anxiety attack
You’re having a panic attack
Your face is red and puffy after crying
You just had a fight
You hate yourself
You want to avoid being stressed
You want to get over your ex
Meditation and breathing
Guided Meditations
Do Nothing for 2 Minutes
Calm Down
Meditation Tips
90 second relaxation exercise
Simple things
Pretty Tree
When You Feel You Have Lost Everything
See Some BLOOD
Press a Button to Make Everything OK
Calming Manatee
Calming Gif
Make Something!
Jump into a Sofa Fort!
Make a Comfort Box
Glitter Jar Or This One
Other Nice Things
A Page To Help You Recover!!!
Coping Skills & Distractions
The Quiet Place. Shhhhh
For When You’re Upset
The Nicest Place on the Internet
Player 2
10 Most Relaxing Online Games
Talk To Someone That Will Listen
Not Having a Good Day?
How-to Love Yourself
Ground Yourself X X X
Mood Chart
Do Nothing For Two Minutes
Rainymood
The Comfort Spot
Weave Silk
Seed Plant Breeder
This Is Sand
C.A.L.M
Calming/Relaxing Music:
Soft Piano: x, x, x, x, x
The Sound of Waves: x
The Sound of a Storm + Waves: x
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