cyberlife-sent-by-android

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

*Markus arriving at Jericho*

Markus: Excuse me, who is in charge here?

North: Usually who yells the loudest

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

Gavin: shut up

Connor: I didn’t say anything

Gavin: you were thinking, it’s annoying

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

Kidnapper: we have your son!

Hank: I don’t have a son

Kidnapper: then who just asked for a sample of some thrium to lick?

Hank: oh my God, you have Connor

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

Gavin: I only drink coffee when I’m stressed

RK900: *worriedly stares at the tons of empty coffee mugs on the desk Gavin is sitting at*

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

Gavin: you piss me off so much

Connor: I literally just said “hello”

Gavin: and here I am, boiling with rage

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

Alice: no fears

Ralph: guys, I’m cooking tonight!

Alice: one fear

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

RK900: truth or dare

Gavin: truth

RK900: how many hours have you slept this week?

Gavin: dare

RK900: go to sleep

Gavin: I don’t like this game

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

*when on the machine route*

Hank: When I first met you, I didn’t like you

Connor: I’m fully aware

Hank: But then you and I spent some time together

Connor: Uh-huh?

Hank: It did not get better

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

*on his first day as a bartender*

Hank: I’ll have a martini dry

Connor: *looking at all of the liquid ingredients* Uhm, I don’t know how to tell you this but-

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

Hank: I want to be a caterpillar

Connor: Explain??

Hank: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful

Connor: Lieutenant, you know they have a lifespan of two weeks, right?

Hank: That’s just another highlight

Connor: LIEUTENANT NO-

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

Connor: [props feet on the table] So I heard you like bad boys.

Hank: What? No.

Connor: [Immediately takes feet off the table] Oh thank god, that felt horrible.

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

google: to get from your house to the convenient store will take ten minutes.

Connor: [petting every dog on the way]

google: 40 minutes.

[cyberlife-sent-by-android]

Connor: yes i make bad decisions that put me in a lot of danger

Hank: but?

Connor: no, that’s it.