cryptid-crawly

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self discipline is so hard like. i know the sucker who's in charge...a pushover who hates authority and loves hedonism

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Another day another way of drawing him

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Some old never posted sketches of a homebrewed Batman AU I was crafting alchemy-like by taking my favorite aspects of each incarnation and putting them in a blender until smooth and emulsified.

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If u want to write a story about a character that’s just you but hotter with a dark twisted backstory and magical powers and a pet falcon or something, I think u should just go ahead and do that. Who’s gonna stop you? The government?? Fuck the police.

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#Merry crisis

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theyre fighting a god in the morning

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What are your takes on shipping and the discourses that surround it?

personally i think postal workers should be paid more

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a msg to u from the dog that finally learned how to give me the dang ball

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Bruce doing the whole “this isn’t you Clark🥺 uwu” routine and talking down Evil!Superman but still getting injured, except Clark doesn’t remember any of it and Bruce can’t bring himself to tell him so he hides the injuries from Clark. or tries to, at least. the problem is Clark is incensed, because he thinks someone hurt Bruce and Bruce won’t tell him which means it’s someone they know, someone in the League Bruce is trying to protect. and WHY would he protect someone who splintered his wrist and nearly fractured his healed bsck all over again? who is worth that much pain and secrecy?

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Anyway, I’ve also been thinking about a Christmas Carol Batman story except it’s all of his kids dressing up as the different ghosts but they run out of ghosts so they start making up progressively stupider ghosts like “the ghost of Christmas slightly past” and “the ghost of a fortnight ago” and “the ghost of your PR team’s frustration” and also “the ghost of last Christmas I gave you my heart”

They’re trying to convince him to ask Superman out on a date

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Or maybe he wasn’t with the hostages at the beginning and half the story is the bad guys going on a wild goose chase trying to find Bruce Wayne in the building so they can get codes from him and every time someone runs into him he’s like ah oh no you got me! And then they don’t remember anything else. They’re convinced there’s another person running around keeping Bruce Wayne safe bc there’s no way it’s Wayne himself

thinking about Die Hard but it’s Bruce Wayne stuck in WE Tower and he’s trying to defeat the terrorists without letting his Batman identity slip

But also this is a comedy because he doesn’t have his comms on him and has to figure out how to communicate with Alfred and co. but also sneak away and beat people up and then return as dumb Brucie and/or foil the plans of the villains without breaking his persona

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Bruce getting progressively more bloodied as he beats people up and hides their unconscious bodies and then returns to the hostage area like :) I have been here the whole time

thinking about Die Hard but it’s Bruce Wayne stuck in WE Tower and he’s trying to defeat the terrorists without letting his Batman identity slip

But also this is a comedy because he doesn’t have his comms on him and has to figure out how to communicate with Alfred and co. but also sneak away and beat people up and then return as dumb Brucie and/or foil the plans of the villains without breaking his persona

[cryptid-crawly]

at the beginning, he convinces them not to kill him because he’s worth a lot more alive than dead but they also don’t let it slip that they’re after the money. They make up some excuse about needing the codes to the system for something else but ofc Bruce figures it out

thinking about Die Hard but it’s Bruce Wayne stuck in WE Tower and he’s trying to defeat the terrorists without letting his Batman identity slip

But also this is a comedy because he doesn’t have his comms on him and has to figure out how to communicate with Alfred and co. but also sneak away and beat people up and then return as dumb Brucie and/or foil the plans of the villains without breaking his persona

[cryptid-crawly]

thinking about Die Hard but it’s Bruce Wayne stuck in WE Tower and he’s trying to defeat the terrorists without letting his Batman identity slip

But also this is a comedy because he doesn’t have his comms on him and has to figure out how to communicate with Alfred and co. but also sneak away and beat people up and then return as dumb Brucie and/or foil the plans of the villains without breaking his persona

[cryptid-crawly]

Fanfic authors be like "stay tuned for more" or "to be continued" and then don't update for twenty years, lmao.

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[cryptid-crawly]

Tumblr staff: ten options is enough for polls, right? No one needs more than that on a regular basis. The average tumblr user: Hey guys which element of the periodic table do you think is the most fuckable?