crushedprimarycolours - Tumblr blog

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Poisonous abuser.

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some recent vents, middle one’s ugly but whatever. not doin too good lately lads! :’]

//all of my vent art is ok to rb//

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I think my parents wish that I’d stayed a tiny baby, defenseless and with no personal opinion instead of an older child who has his own opinions, and a will to fight back on everything they’ve ever done to me

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nothing would make me happier than waking up to seeing your house burn to the ground

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thinking about a time where i can finally cut the contact with the abusive side of my family and thrive all on my own

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why do my parents treat their opinions as facts, and others’ facts as opinions

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me: *exists*

mother: so fucking ungrateful. you have NO HEART AND NO SOUL! i guess i’m the “bad mom” and everything i do is “so horrible.” i sacrificed for 17 years! it would have been worth it if it produced some semblance of a decent human being (last sentence was literally word for word)

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They call defending myself “talking back”

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My mother: *is abusive*

Me: *makes one (1) comment about how I don’t particularly like her “parenting style”*

My mother:

*INHALES* 😤🙄 *SIGH* 😔I KNOW 🙄 THAT 👉🏻YOU👈🏻 🔪🔪HATE 😡😠 ME 😔😕☹ AND 👉🏻YOU👈🏻 THINK THAT I❗❗AM A ☹TERRIBLE 🤢🤨 MOTHER 👩‍👧‍👦 BUT❗ 👉🏻YOU👈🏻 DON'T❗HAVE TO RUB IT IN😞☹😥 EVERY DAY😡😕IT’S MORE OF AN EVERY OTHER DAY THING🙄😤🙄😫😡😰 I DON’T KNOW⁉️⁉️WHY 👉🏻YOU👈🏻 🔪HATE🔪ME🤢🔪SO MUCH I❗⁉️I AM TRYING❗MY BEST❗😥AND 👉🏻YOU👈🏻JUST MAKE IT SO❗❗HARD❗😫😡😰😕☹😔😞😠😤*SIGH*😤🙄😔😥😞

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Emotional Abuse:

1) They are always right

Somehow, you will always be in the wrong. Facts and events get twisted and you will always end up being the guilty party. Nothing they do is ever their fault. They will have one set of rules for themselves and another set for everyone else. They do not take responsibility for their part and trying to get them to own up to something will leave you disappointed and frustrated.

2) They blame others

As previously mentioned, emotional abusers are never to blame for anything that goes wrong. They will somehow always be the victim. They will steadfastly refuse to apologise for their actions and blame anyone else,anything else to get off the hook. You are wasting your time if you hope that your emotionally abusive partner will apologise and work hard to change his/her ways. Why should they when it’s not their fault?

3) Gas-lighting

This involves making you believe things that didn’t really happen or aren’t really there. For example telling you that they have told you about an upcoming party that you are 100% sure they never told you about. They will never doubt themselves. Instead they will roll their eyes and insist they told you leaving you to doubt your memory. They will push their version of reality on to you and you may end up feeling as if you are going crazy, not knowing what is true anymore.

4) They are critical of others but do not apply the same rules to themselves

Emotional abusers often have low self-awareness. This is often because they are more tuned in to others in order to control them and manipulate them. Apart from being quite controlling characters, they are known for their constant put-downs.

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When you’re growing up in abusive environment there’s such a strong feeling of “not belonging here”, “not being a part of anything” and feeling like you’re not supposed to be among humans at all, and only wishing that someone would come already and take you home. To another planet, where there’s people like you, where you wouldn’t be a burden or nuisance, where you wouldn’t feel guilty for just being, for existing as you are. It feels all wrong, being in a place where you’re so despised, as if it would be better if you didn’t exist at all. We all just want to go to our real home.

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I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to fucking leave

I

Cannot

Wait

To

Leave

Me: can’t wait to fucking leave

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Parent: yells at and threatens child over a mistake

Child: doesnt want to spend time with them afterwards

Parent:

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types of dissociation:

existing but a little to the left

am i crossing my eyes or is everything just blurry?

clipped right thru the floorboards

what the fuck is a “body”

i have too many bodies at once and they’re trying to start a fight club. how many arms are humans supposed to have again?

floam

sounds fake but ok

pick two: harsh noise, dial up tone, cantina theme [10 hour version]

360 no scope

the atmosphere is lighting me on fire very, very slowly.

someone: “wow! you handled that stressful situation so well! so cool and competent!” me, unaware that anything happened: “i what now”

*forgets to breathe for 5 hours*

feel free 2 add ur own

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// please just let me roll for another day //

                    thats what he said, what he said

whispering the meanings hes hidden                                                              undercover

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:( still not better