crimsonclawedchronicles

[crimsonclawedchronicles]

Im sick of this fucking road

Every time i Take this road

Tear drops fall on my face

Is the place haunted

Is my mind, my soul my body corrupted by an evil entity

I feel like you don’t understand me

I feel unseen sometimes

You see me the way you want

Which is fucked up

Because I hate being judged

I did what I did because I had to

Your partner should always understand

Your partner should always care

Your partner should always try

I’m crying in the car and it sounds sad and cheap

Like I am

Well, actually I’m not, some may think

I’m done having to explain myself

I’m done having to find excuses for everything

This is me

I’m cold I’m mean I’m soulless

I’m hard, rough, scary

Fucked up in the head

Bits and pieces left on all corners

Why dont I want to live?

Good question. I’m not living the life I want

I hate stupid men on the street I can’t even take a walk

I hate beauty standards that make me starve myself every day

I hate seeing little girls on diets

I’m worried my child will have my habits

I hate the living prices, this is bullshit

I hate the misogyny, I hate the stupid

I hate the alpha male that looks at you with hungry eyes like you’re the next meal

I hate old people inviting me to have sex for money

I hate stupid teenagers who look at me like I’m the next circus sensation

I’m sick of religion and it’s cults

I’m sick of people who think they’re better than others, just because they think they are righteous

I hate to wake up feeling fat

Bloated and mostly sad

I hate to feel like I’m nothing and I hate to feel that I can’t do nothing

I hate to be told I’m beautiful because then I think you’re a liar

And why would you lie to me if you love me?

But why do you love me?

I’m no good, you know it

I’m just spending, throwing and selling

Screaming and yelling

At myself in the mirror

“Why the fuck did you get bigger?”

I hate to throw up everyday

I hate the feeling of food in my stomach

But I hate to feel like I’m passing out all the time

You see my life so shiny and sparkly

I have everything I want

Right?

Mistake

Only mistakes in my life

If you pull the curtain away

You’ll see the dirt hiding in some space

I keep my secrets underneath the carpet

I keep my real life somewhere safe

I keep my head in the clouds and I keep delusion as my best friend

I’m twisted, perverted and unworthy

You should walk a mile in my shoes

To see how it feels

Every move you make will hurt you

Every thought you have will want to hurt you

You’ll feel tired and sick,

miserable

Thinking about past mistakes

Feeling scared on the streets

Afraid to move , scared of sounds

You’ll see shapes and figures around you

But no one is there

You’re alone, just like you always are

[crimsonclawedchronicles]

Jennette McCurdy, I’m Glad My Mom Died

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(via Cursed gifts and untold visions: The Headless Statues of Crystal Palace Park – Portals of London)

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“You can’t see yourself. You know what you look like because of mirrors and photographs, but out there in the world, as you move among your fellow human beings, whether strangers or friends or the most intimate beloveds, your own face is invisible to you… We are all aliens to ourselves, and if we have any sense of who we are, it is only because we live inside the eyes of others.”

— Paul Auster, Winter Journal

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Edinburgh yesterday.

instagram

print shop

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“I firmly believe in small gestures: pay for their coffee, hold the door for strangers, over tip, smile or try to be kind even when you don’t feel like it, pay compliments, chase the kid’s runaway ball down the sidewalk and throw it back to him, try to be larger than you are— particularly when it’s difficult. People do notice, people appreciate. I appreciate it when it’s done to (for) me. Small gestures can be an effort, or actually go against our grain (“I’m not a big one for paying compliments…”), but the irony is that almost every time you make them, you feel better about yourself.”

— Jonathan Carroll

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“A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances instead of your circumstances having power over you.”

— Joyce Meyer

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All the times you failed to love are now behind. This is the present: a new chance to be kind.

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“Getting over it doesn’t mean forgetting it. It just means reducing the pain to a tolerable level, a level that doesn’t destroy you.”

— Kevin Brooks

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“You deserve a relationship that enables you to sleep peacefully at night.”

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ok so long story short my psychiatrist gave me the biggest trigger at our last session and I left crying. yesterday I met her again and she was sorry about what happened and I was a little angry and I said “after all that shit I expected a gift at least” and now I got BRAT on vinyl delivered at my house paid by my lovely psychiatrist.

[crimsonclawedchronicles]

Anne de Marcken, from It Lasts Forever and Then It's Over [ID'd]

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“What if I slept a little more and forgot about all this nonsense.”

— Franz Kafka

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"A world without trans people has never existed and never will"

Poster spotted in Olympia, WA

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EVE and VILLANELLE + @ao3tagsbot

[crimsonclawedchronicles]

Just because a person has a gorgeous heart and gentle nature doesn't mean they're naive or fragile. You never know the type of chaos it took for someone to become that calm. Don't mistake kindness for weakness...those ppl have survived the worst battles—they're smart & strong af.