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possibly the most important QI bonus video ever

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The video that was hosted on the “www.alan0stephenhero.com” website mentioned in the series M christmas episode “Merriment”

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The opening of the “A QI Christmas Cracker” bonus feature from the QI E-G DVD box set

I couldn’t find a video of this online and I don’t have a computer with a dvd slot, so this bad recording of my tv will have to do.

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reblog if you would give cheeses to these meeces

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Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie at Eilean Aigas, Inverness-shire, 1995. From Stephen Fry’s More Fool Me novel.

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Sean Lock (dressed as Jonathan Ross) tears off Alan Davies (dressed as a matador)’s trousers.

…

As if that needs clarification.

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Putti Plutti Pott and Santa's Beard / Putti Plutti Pott og julenissens skjegg

This Christmas, my gift to the English-speaking world is amateur English subtitles for 'Putti Plutti Pott og julenissens skjegg' aka 'Putti Plutti Pott and Santa's Beard'.

The background

The musical was written by Per Asplin, a musician and composer whom I believe did some work in Hollywood but is best known in Norway for being a member of The Monn Keys in addition to being the creator of Plottiputt (as PPP is known to his friends).

The original album came out in 1969 and they made a film version in 1970 starring Asplin himself. It is a delightful blend of whimsical, heartwarming, and at points just plain weird in a way only children's media ever truly achieves.

The premise

Putti Plutti Pott is Santa's grandson. One day Santa takes off his magic beard to wash it and hangs it on the stairs to dry. The beard has magic teleportation powers (naturally; how else could Santa visit every child in one night), and Putti Plutti Pott can't resist—he steals the beard and tries it on and is immediately whisked away to emerge from the chimney in Uncle Per's living room.

Uncle Per and an assortment of nieces and nephews befriend Plottiputt and travel back to Elfland with him in a quest to return the beard to Santa in time for Christmas.

Where to watch

You can find the film on Youtube here. Please note I'm just an enthusiastic amateur so don't expect professional quality. Where possible I've been relatively literal as I did the translation for friends who were more interested in getting a sense of what's 'actually' being said rather than fitting the words to music.

Some reasons you should watch Putti Plutti Pott and Santa's Beard

1. Per Asplin

He's so charismatic and fun! Who wouldn't want to hang out at Uncle Per's cabin and listen to him sing about Christmas fairy tales?

2. Santa (Father Christmas)/Julenissen

He has an entire song about wanting his beard back where he repeatedly calls it his 'hocus pocus beard'.

3. The minutes-long sequence where Plottiputt and another elf do interpretive dance at each other in the snow

This is beyond description.

4. The genuinely lovely songs

The music is great and I particularly love the opening number, a sweet and cosy song about the Christmas landscape that references various Norwegian fairy tales and nursery rhymes. You will probably also enjoy Spikke-Sage-Lime-Banke (Chop-Saw-Glue-Knock) and never get it out of your head again, along with Klappeland (Clappingland), a traditional Scandinavian Christmas song for children.

5. Glupe Gløgg

The man, the myth, the legend. Glupe Gløgg is sadly only seen briefly in the truncated film version, but he is a secret agent elf tasked with hunting down and returning Santa's beard. Because he is a spy he disguises himself by wearing sunglasses. Unfortunately no one else in Elfland wears sunglasses, so people always know it's him. I love him and he is doing his best.

This film has changed my life and I need more, more, more!

More, you say?

There's seasonal productions of the musical in Norway in a similar vein to British panto season, so if you're ever there during the Christmas period... this is the kind of thing you might be able to get tickets for.

You can also listen to the soundtrack on Spotify.

Finally, you can try getting hold of the songbook. The songbook is a prose version of the story with all the songs written down (including notation), and includes a lot more material—not least a scene in which a small girl threatens Glupe Gløgg with a knife.

"If you're mean then I'll throw you in the rubbish bin!"

(HE IS DOING HIS BEST.)

In conclusion

Vil du være med så heng på!

God jul og godt nyttår!

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"1.5 stars"

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Fry And Laurie season 2 opening credits.

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'What a sweet thing to think of :)

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alan davies tells the story of his matador costume at the 1998 british comedy awards

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Photo stills of Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy, Jane and Mr. Bingley in "Pride and Prejudice" 1995 version

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if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

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Cutie patooties

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