crazyarakim

[crazyarakim]

Nothing

long time no see, it was a difficult few years past. Ups and downs more losses than wins but I am alive and kicking.

Now.

[crazyarakim]

Happiness is scary. Future is scary. Life is scary. People are scary. Everything is scary.

[crazyarakim]

After months of being tired and I qm sick again.😥 slowly I will regain my power

[crazyarakim]

New Year! Still my life is mess, full of disappointment! I do not know how I am surviving, right now. I stare on the dirty white wall of our house. I wonder why I am alive. It seems I still have a purpose. My business is not doing well. 🍷🍷🍷 do not lose hope they say? How xan I hold onto that. 💜💜💜

[crazyarakim]

[crazyarakim]

[crazyarakim]

[crazyarakim]

[crazyarakim]

[crazyarakim]

[crazyarakim]

November 5, 2020

Looking back, all I can remember are all sad moments in my life. There were heartache that even I can tell why. I can't eat, sleep, move or think. There are tears in my eyes, a longing in my heart. How can I move on or even live. I want to shout, but couldn't. I want to curse, but I couldn't. I wish I can turned back time, and tell myself not to do it. Your life will be unbearable. I wish I can smile again.

[crazyarakim]

[crazyarakim]

[crazyarakim]

I envy them. He is the same age qs me but he is successful. I know that comes with great responsibilities and work. Still, at least I want to have that stability.

[crazyarakim]

So, many worries. I want to bet on myself. I will start small and grow. It os my second time trying. Anxiety is settling in.

[crazyarakim]

[crazyarakim]

I am starting something in my life again and I feel worried. What if, I fail again. I cannot live in the past. I have to move on. Try it. Hope that it will work out.