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unfortunately listening to radiohead again

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no cheating by looking but who do you think your Spotify top artist is gonna be this year 👀

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They're having a 2 for 1 Who gives a Fuck special at the Shove It up your Ass store

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how do you post so much and have a fuull time job? tips?

boss makes a dollar I make a dime that’s why I blog on company time

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:/

Gordon Ramsey fursona reveal!

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happy 6th anniversary to book one YAY

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whenever i tell people that my partner and i are poly and in an open relationship, most people respond with "don't you get jealous?" and honestly i'm realizing not enough people talk about polyamory and jealousy because like, yeah i absolutely get jealous. we just have different ways of dealing with it than most relationships.

i used to think that being jealous meant something was wrong with me or that i'm just not cut out for polyamory, but actually my life is significantly better now that i'm poly and leading a lifestyle that supports that. this particular feeling (which is natural and human and nothing to be ashamed of) is just a little more inconvenient than it used to be because i often put myself in situations that are more likely to evoke it. what i've learned is that what i thought was "jealousy" often isn't actually jealousy and is usually something else being mistaken for jealousy, except for when it actually is jealousy, in which case, it's usually a sign that i need to reevaluate my own boundaries and have a conversation with my partner about them. for instance, sometimes i think i'm "jealous" of another person, but i'm actually feeling rejected or ignored by my partner and i should talk to him. maybe it was because he was swiping on apps during our quality time instead of hanging out with me, or he was talking to someone else to have needs met when i could have helped him if he'd asked. sometimes it's a frequency thing too, wherein they are spending more time or effort on their other relationships than ours, so i just need a little extra validation or attention.

then there are the instances where i'm actually, genuinely jealous. sometimes i'm jealous of him because he has way more Rizz than me and, subsequently, more success in other relationships than i do. maybe not everyone will feel the way i do, but for me, this is a feeling i tend to either keep to myself completely or at least work through independently, because i don't feel like it's fair to hold that against him. other times i'm jealous because i feel like i'm missing something that someone else has and i'm not "good enough" for him. after all, i'm trans and dating a gay man, so i'm sometimes insecure in my ~manhood~ and just need a reminder that i'm loved and perfect the way i am.

the most common way jealousy shows up is when one or both of us is trying something new. i don't always know how i'm going to react to new experiences, obviously, so even if we talk about it beforehand and we're both acting within our established boundaries, i might decide i don't feel good about something and we have to talk about if and how this thing should continue to play a role in our relationship. this usually means modifying or setting new boundaries. so like if they're experimenting with a new kind of relationship with someone else and i realize i don't like that he's doing that specific thing with another person, we should reevaluate whether they should keep doing that or not, or what else they can do to make me feel better about it.

basically my point is that polyamory doesn't mean immunity to jealousy, it's just another tool that i can use to navigate my relationships. it doesn't mean anyone did anything wrong, and it doesn't mean there's something just naturally wrong with me either. it's important to listen to and validate feelings like that so i can understand what they're actually trying to tell me.

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i finally saw superman last night but getting to the theater required me to leave my house and in my excitement i ran down my very steep driveway and took a tumble and now i can’t really walk. worth it though (i got to see skylar gisondo in all his beautiful onscreen glory)

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radical kindness is punk as fuck. and i’ve always said that

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injured myself yesterday and today my partner asked me how my knee was doing and i said eh im not really sure how to describe it and they suggested, in full seriousness, that i “describe it like a period cramp,” whatever the hell that means

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sorry for fucking up our conversation i had never had that one before

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it’s cry at the start of every movie cause you wish you were making things too tuesday

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Lejs Ibrahimovic by Julian Freyberg (2025)

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i just finished reading the life impossible by matt haig. if you've never read any of his work, i really recommend it. this might be my new favorite of his (but i'm hoping to reread the midnight library soon, so we'll see how long that lasts). i feel my love for humanity, for being alive, for the planet and all that inhabits her growing stronger the longer i sit and process what i just read. he incorporates magic and fantasy in a way that feels truly real and grounded. la presencia may not be "real," in a physical sense, but it represents compassion, peace, courage, self assuredness, and so much more that are real and exist in all of us if we just know where to look and how to bring it out.

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he’s been back for two days and two nights now. my horoscope doesn’t know he’s been gone or that he returned, but the word “love” has been in my day at a glance both days and today. even the universe felt the ache of its loveliest inhabitant being away from home, but now that order is restored, the universe is full of love and love and love and love and love and