cornmazehater

[cornmazehater]

Oh woah hey there 🐱 I think that was a funny little accident just now. 🐱 You see I was just licking this plate of food left on the counter and you 🐱 pushed my face right out of the way. I think you just did not notice 🐱 my face was there so no worries, I’ll just go back to 🐱 OH you’ve pushed my face away again? Sorry I don’t mean to embarrass 🐱 you but I am in the middle of something here so I will simply just 🐱 You have pushed my face away again?????? 🐱🐱🐱

[cornmazehater]

So on the off chance Drump spontaneously dies from a golfing accident or something we’ll have JD Vance as president.

See, I hated Mike Pence but he was a known variable. I know his deal. Vance though? I feel like he’s smart but he’s also maleable to whoever pays him the most. He’s less predictable. I think he’d sell the country out for one corn chip but who’s holding the corn chip?

[cornmazehater]

i think i could be trusted with The Book That Kills People from the classic manga series "No One Can Be Trusted With Power Of The Book That Kills People" imho

[cornmazehater]

i fear a lot of ppl confuse “was this character’s death well written and good for the story” with “did i like it, personally”

[cornmazehater]

Fag strong together. Don’t forget.

[cornmazehater]

U.S. conservatives always talk about creating jobs but get SO MAD whenever anyone mentions banning prison labor like imagine the insane ammout of jobs that would be created literally overnight if companies in your country had to actually employ people instead of using slave labor from people that got caught with weed 10 years ago.

[cornmazehater]

what is the POOOOIINNTTTT in turning off reblogs to a good and popular post. I wanna reblog that. it was funny. it's my god given right to reblog. that feature was meant to use from the jump so people didn't reblog your personal shit. yall are just being mean when you see a post start to resonate and then you PULL THE TABLECLOTHHHHH

[cornmazehater]

i thought my laptop was on its last leg because it was running at six billion degrees and using 100% disk space at all times and then i turned off shadows and some other windows effects and it was immediately cured. i just did the same to my roommate's computer and its performance issues were also immediately cured. okay. i guess.

so i guess if you have creaky freezy windows 10/11 try searching "advanced system settings", go to performance settings, and uncheck "show shadows under windows" and anything else you don't want. hope that helps someone else.

[cornmazehater]

They need to remove the "convicted felon" option from job applications, and anything else that requires you to say whether or not you have a criminal history. Because CLEARLY if we can have a convicted felon in the white house, then convicted felons everywhere should be allowed to get jobs, should be allowed to vote, etc.

[cornmazehater]

‘i don’t like going out to eat alone’ unrelatable preference. i’m choosing places without consultation. i’ve got a book. i’m not distracted from my food by conversation. i’m devouring this dessert that probably is on the menu to be split by multiple people like a starving delighted wolverine. yes breaking bread with friends is an unfathomably ancient expression of humanity but i also love going out to eat alone. special little treat for me. from me.

[cornmazehater]

The Magnus Archives is a horror podcast WRONG

The Magnus Archives is a RomCom WRONG

It's the world most elaborately made and longest anti smoking ad lmao

[cornmazehater]

just found out that there is a sudanfunds website! like gazafunds, it is a compilation of funds for people facing genocide

[cornmazehater]

[cornmazehater]

Do you think Clark Kent had to be formula fed.

And do you think, for a moment, Martha Kent realized she was in over her head.

An alien baby, a canister of formula from the closest shop that she’s not even sure he can eat.

She’s just holding him in front of her with the bottle in one hand and his neck propped up in the other. He’s screaming his head off and she knows he’s hungry but she can’t bring herself to give it to him. She doesn’t know what he is, what will kill him. She may have met this baby maybe a couple hours ago but she’s already decided to protect him with her life.

Jonathan’s out in the shed trying to find any of the old baby clothes and pacifiers they were gifted while they were trying at least half a decade ago; Martha’s pretty sure she threw them all away the second the doctor broke the news.

She realizes that if they do actually do this it’s not going to be easy, and it’s actually going to be quite terrifying. They will always be waiting for that phone call, that knock on the door. From this point forward strangers and outsiders who come sniffin’ for one reason or another will terrify them.

She wonders if they’ll tell him how they actually came to be his parents, or let him live in blissful ignorance.

She counts down to three in her head. And gives him the bottle.

He drinks it happily; perfectly fine.

She can’t remember when she started holding her breath.

A loose curl of his blacker than black hair falls onto his forehead and covers his bluer than blue eyes. She brushes it away and he grabs her fingers with a grip stronger than she thought it’d be. It makes her bark out a laugh.

Something with those pudgy cheeks and that gummy smile can’t be all that terrifying.

[cornmazehater]

this comic was brought to you by (1) my mom insisting we need to watch the 1989 tim burton batman and (2) me wondering why on god's green earth they got prince to do the music. and for the record i fucking love prince (and grew up listening to him), i just would not in a million years think to make that connection on my own. anyway please listen to Erotic City it's a good tune

[cornmazehater]

i kinda imagine superman subconsciously floating when he sleeps somewhere he's most comfortable and feel safe in. and one of those places is a guest room in wayne manor lol

[cornmazehater]

The idea of the Wayne family visiting the Kents at their Smallville farm for the holidays sounds like the premise for one of those Hallmark rom-coms and I can totally see Bruce’s kids teasing the heck out of him for it during the entire drive there given his obvious bromance with Clark.

Jason: He was a billionaire, playboy from Gotham…

Dick: He was a mild, mannered reporter from Metropolis…

Tim: But this holiday season, love is in the air for these two superheroes as they embark on their merriest mission ever in…

All Three Boys: … “CAPES, KISSES AND CHRISTMAS COOKIES!!!”

Bruce: Keep this up and I’m volunteering all three of you to help Pa Kent shovel manure after supper!