cornmazehater

[cornmazehater]

I don't know who the fuck censored "hell" in that last image, but it sure as shit wasn't me. What is this, 3rd grade internet?

[cornmazehater]

Couples shirt idea

[cornmazehater]

this made me emotional ;-;

[cornmazehater]

I will never forgive what they did to them

[cornmazehater]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!! AHH AHHHHHH !!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHH !!!!!! AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !! AAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHH !! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!! AHHH !! AHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH !!!!! AAAAAAH !!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!! !! AHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!! AAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAHHHHH AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH !!!

[cornmazehater]

Dude my coworker left a scrumptious cookie unattended

[cornmazehater]

[cornmazehater]

[cornmazehater]

okay here’s a new and improved updated version where i don’t forget tumblr’s favorite holiday

[cornmazehater]

[cornmazehater]

5-25% off is a discount, 30-50% off is a deal, and 60-90% off is clearance. I'm TRUELY SICK of being lured to a clearance section for a measly 20% like please be serious

[cornmazehater]

Heads up to everyone in the southern US: a large storm system is impacting the central/southern/eastern US today through this weekend.

Today the risk is severe weather (tornadoes, wind, and hail) over the Midwest into the southeast with extremely critical fire weather risk over Texas into Oklahoma. (There’s also fire risk basically everywhere north of there too - trust me the wind is absolutely ripping up in the northern plains and there’s no rain or snow to speak of so if anything goes up it’s going to spread quick)

Tomorrow the risk is centered over the southeast with tornadoes, wind, and hail being the primary threats.

NOAA/NWS are federal government agencies and I know there’s a risk for a gov shutdown … However if there is a shutdown their operations will not be impacted. Despite all that’s going on, forecasters with the Storm Prediction Center and local NWS offices are dedicated to the mission to protect lives and property. This is all to say: please take this seriously.

If you’re under a tornado or severe thunderstorm WATCH that means the ingredients are in place for tornadoes or severe weather. However it does not mean severe weather is imminent. It means pay attention and be ready to act.

If you’re under a tornado or severe thunderstorm WARNING that means severe weather is imminent. The meteorologists at your local NWS office have either confirmed a tornado or severe weather is occurring or they’re highly confident that it’s happening or about to happen. Take shelter and please for the love of god do not go out on your porch to look for it.

[cornmazehater]

Storms! Friday 3/14 and Saturday 3/15

there hasn't been a day 2 (tomorrow) high risk severe weather forecast since 13 years ago in 2012.

this has happened three times. ever.

tomorrow is looking to possibly be a significant tornado outbreak preceded by another tornado/wind storm outbreak today late into tonight.

The NWS does NOT use strong language unless they are certain something IS going to happen.

So for them to be this certain an outbreak is going to happen means /it is likely going to happen/

Today/Tonight

...SUMMARY... A regional outbreak of severe thunderstorms is likely this afternoon through tonight across parts of the Lower/Mid Mississippi Valley and portions of the Lower Ohio Valley and Mid-South. Numerous tornadoes, several of which could be strong to intense, widespread severe gusts ranging from 60 to 100 mph, and scattered large hail up to baseball size all appear likely.

Satruday/Tomorrow/Late Tonight

...SUMMARY... A tornado outbreak is likely on Saturday across the central Gulf Coast States and Deep South into the Tennessee Valley. Numerous significant tornadoes, some of which should be long-track and potentially violent, are expected on Saturday afternoon and evening. The most dangerous tornado threat should begin across eastern Louisiana and Mississippi during the late morning to afternoon, spread across Alabama late day into the evening, and reach western parts of the Florida Panhandle and Georgia Saturday night.

As of 4:20pm Friday, here is our tornado risk for Saturday. Hatched means SIGNIFICANT, EF2+ tornadoes.

30% hatched hasn't been used in a long ass time.

Tell your loved ones who live in these areas about the weather. Have a plan. Have a go bag.

Do you know where your pets' carriers are? Can you get them contained/leashed/moved during an emergency?

Do you know where your medications are if you need to shelter?

Ask yourself these questions before bad weather strikes.

Don't be scared! Be prepared!!

[cornmazehater]

Anyone in dixie alley and the midwest right now should be taking this set of storms very seriously. Have a plan for violent tornadoes. Charge your phones and power banks, keep important documents with you, keep your ID on you, and please take your pets to a safe spot with you.

[cornmazehater]

I just used the line “that’s not an asshole move, it’s a whole asshole ballet” and I’m kinda proud of it so it’s going here where it will get the recognition it deserves.

[cornmazehater]

remember when elomusk asked one of his rocketship employees to give him sex favors in exchange for a horse

[cornmazehater]

be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight