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i want to hug a cis man, who was, is, and will be an ally, who's understandable and aware, who fights for trans, women's, queer's and people's rights

i want to hug him tight and give him hot chocolate and say: you're not a monster. especially not because of your identity and the way you were assigned at birth. no one can judge you by your gender. your chromosomes do not define you. you're great person as you are, and people who hate you and others alike - are blind and stupid.

i want to listen to his struggles and his cries, i want to help him rest, i want him to be safe and secure, i want him to remember that he's also valid in any case and form, whether he is queer himself or hetero

i want him to know he deserves love and compassion, and even if he thinks bad of himself or doesn't value his life, he's still important and always will be. everyone is important in this fight, no gender or a group should be left alone or deemed to perish, left alone in hatred and misery, not even cis white hetero men, who also can be amazing people and i assure you there are. you just never tried to look for them

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Please continue interacting with the morons who reblogged my posts so I can continue to expand my blocklist, radfems! You are absolutely not worth my time to "debate" because you know nothing but bad faith and hyperbole.

I 💜 blocking radfems

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It's me, I'm the monster. How dare I be born male and do my best to love & care for the people around me?

My emotions were quickly beaten out me by the (overwhelming female & feminist) authority figures in my life. When I came out to my mother as "bisexual" (90s), her only response was "were you molested?!" When I asked to transition, I was denied. When I tried to find community with LGBTQ people in college (00s), I was too "radical" (democratic socialist) & "weird looking" to fit in. Thankfully, the goth/industrial subculture had yet to be corrupted with brainworms, and I found some sense of belonging for a bit. If it weren't for that & my vehement desire for everyone to be safe & content, the 2010s & 20s could have easily turned me in to a right-wing chud.

And now I'm seeing the hateful rhetoric being doubled-down on most places. Almost makes a guy want to just check out entirely, cause why should I continue to fight for people stabbing me in the back?

"The ones who play the saints put the knife in your back. Daggers rain down upon disciples."

“Why were so many men moving to the right?”

Unfortunately, the Internet is full of people saying men are monsters. So when you’re surrounded by people saying you’re a monster because you have a penis. Then you either decide: “OK I guess I’m evil.” or you look for anyone to tell you otherwise.

Too many people were telling men to be monsters, not enough were telling them that that’s a load of bullshit.

And here I am punching myself repeatedly for not realizing how bad the landscape had become.

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hope that anon who sent that shit knows how worthless they are, and it's cowardly to say that on anon lol

Thanks, it honestly doesn't bother me that much? Which is surprising even to me, heh. Like, I'm a coward, obviously, so if they actually follow through then great! I'm dead & they're happy and both our problems are solved! Otherwise, it just galvanizes me. I've been trudging through hell for decades, so there is nothing anyone can do to me that I haven't already done to myself. They're not even creative with their attacks, they just parrot what I've already said about myself and somehow think it's going to affect me more because some rando said it. In reality, it just gives me a self-satisfied chortle, the same as if a toddler called me a "doo-doo head" out of nowhere.

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it’s unfair how i have the responsibility to heal myself when i didn’t cause my wound in the first place

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Keep purging cut yourself too while you're at it :)

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"I Could Fix Them" ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ༄

it's easier to imagine a picture-perfect reality skewed by the tint of your rose-colored glasses than baring witness to the grisly truth of it all.

it's easier to imagine that if you were there, you could've altered the course of reality, that you could've been the previously-unrolled stone they hadn't turned before, that if maybe - just maybe - you were there, things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.

it's easier to imagine taking care of them, because you've seen what happens when nobody extends a kind hand, when nobody cooks them dinner or ties their shoes or lathers their hair with shampoo or wipes their tears when they cry and says, "it's okay, i understand you, i understand you, i'm the only one who understands you."

it's easier to imagine building them from the ground up, inserting vague personality traits originating from their voice-recordings, or their journal entries, or their internet keystrokes, constructing a profile close to the person that they once were, but not quite aligned with the truth of reality; it aligns with the truth of your reality.

it's easier to imagine you, yourself, your own being, being the caretaker for someone else, being the guiding hand that those who'd otherwise go astray needed, being the person that they couldn't - and didn't - have.

it's easier than imagining yourself cooking yourself dinner, or tying your own shoes, or lathering your own hair with shampoo, or wiping your own tears and looking around just to realize you have no one there to cradle you.

it's easier to imagine helping someone else.

it's easier to imagine helping someone else, because nobody helped you.

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ADHD causes issues with neural reward pathways, and we have to consciously notice & cling to them when they're activated to truly nurture them on the levels of neurotypicals.

If you find yourself staring at a completed project, constantly re-reading a complimentary text, or even just repeatedly going through your own work, don't feel like you're being egotistical or self-centered: you're just trying to get the same satisfaction that neurotypicals take for granted.

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Having "needs constant attention" disorder is truly a new level of hell as an ugly male.

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stop complaining, everyone else struggles too

On repeat

You are not unique

Shut the fuck up, pathetic little bitch

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As a 40 year old man raised to hate himself by his second-wave mother: all of this.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

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I wish to ignore you once just because. but I can't. because then you'll suffer. but you can just ignore me. because my suffering has never mattered.

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Yo, okay, stop tellin boys that their height is funny if they’re short. Stop rebloggin things about boys who are under 6ft tall with the intention of laughing at them.

Stop telling boys to man up.

Stop telling boys that they should just move on and get over emotionally/physically traumatic experiences.

Stop telling boys that their girlfriends are “always right because women are always right.”

Stop making fun of boys for parts of their body that they were literally just born with an HAVE no control over.

BOYS. NEED. EMOTIONAL. SUPPORT. TOO. BOYS. HAVE. BODY. IMAGE. ISSUES. TOO.

Fuck.

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Just call me Charles Bronson cause, brother, I got a Death Wish

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Getting even just 10% of the attention & interest that I show to others reciprocated will have me hopelessly devoted.

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Yo, okay, stop tellin boys that their height is funny if they’re short. Stop rebloggin things about boys who are under 6ft tall with the intention of laughing at them.

Stop telling boys to man up.

Stop telling boys that they should just move on and get over emotionally/physically traumatic experiences.

Stop telling boys that their girlfriends are “always right because women are always right.”

Stop making fun of boys for parts of their body that they were literally just born with an HAVE no control over.

BOYS. NEED. EMOTIONAL. SUPPORT. TOO. BOYS. HAVE. BODY. IMAGE. ISSUES. TOO.

Fuck.