cm-matz

[cm-matz]

AGREEED - like i understand that as people change & grow up they might not want certain fics posted under their account anymore, for whatever reason, BUT ao3 has an ‘orphaned work’ option!!! so i dont understand why someone would delete one of their works when they could just remove any traces of themselves as the author to the work… & no hate intended here either, this is just coming from someone who has left comments letting the author know how much i enjoyed a fic, only to have them break my heart & delete it completely at a later time 😭 ps i’m not a fanfic writer (i’m just a regular writer lol) BUT if i posted a work that got good positive feedback & was appreciated by multiple people, even if i wanted NOTHING to do w/ that fic anymore, i couldn’t imagine just deleting it. like even if i didnt want to claim that fic as my own anymore, i’d still LOVE to see other people reading & enjoying it.

It’s really sad when you go through your bookmarks on AO3 and find a bunch of deleted fics.

I don’t know anything about that fic, except that at some point I loved it enough to bookmark it and now it will forever leave a hole in my brain.

[cm-matz]

i am drinking water🥲

i am having a snack😪

i am staying off ao3 until an all clear post but this downtime is making me😭

[cm-matz]

louis and zayn my ever loving soft hearted bad boys telling ppl to fuck off with any opinions about liam’s role in the band 🫶🏻

[cm-matz]

"Its possible to acknowledge he's a bad person and be saddened by-" dude he's dead. He died violently and suddenly and it was probably awful the entire time. A guy died. Stop turning everything into how you have the morally superior take. A guy DIED in a TERRIBLE way. Now is not the fucking time to go "erm acshtually he did xyz" or disclaimer everything with how you Don't Support Him. You don't need to say that about someone who just died in a violent and painful way. You don't need to turn someone's death into that. The guy has friends and family who can see that shit, be quiet if you can't keep that to yourself.

Besides, he was only 31. If you think someone is finished cooking at 31 you have a big storm coming. You don't know the kind of person he would've become if he had the chance to actually live his life instead of just the beginning of it.

Don't turn someone's DEATH into how your opinion of him is the most morally pure one on the internet. He wasn't a war criminal, he was a boy band member who got internationally mega-famous when he could barely even legally drink

[cm-matz]

also, like, as someone who has a son that’s relatively the same age as liam’s (mine is 8 tho not 7), & knowing that he enjoys & spends a decent amount of time on his ipad (particularly on youtube), i’m just flat out TERRIFIED for liam’s son, in fear of that little boy potentially going on his own ipad & stumbling across some of the disgusting shit that’s been posted about his father since they announced his death only a few hours ago. like, ik that liam’s recent behaviors & actions have been downright despicable, & i am in no way shape or form condoning a single thing he’s said or done. BUT A LITTLE 7 YR OLD BOY JUST LOST HIS FCKING FATHER. it is fcking HORRIBLE & DEVASTATING to think about how he’s gonna feel when he finds out his dad is just GONE. FOREVER.

AND FCKING TMZ???!!! posting pics w/ his body in the frame.. are you fcking kidding me???? i can only imagine how fcking TRAUMATIC it would be for my own son if the same thing had somehow happened to me… it’s just so heartbreaking & DISGUSTING.

i dont pray often but i will pray for your sweet little boy, liam. no child should ever have to suffer thru losing a parent, ESP like this 🤍

[cm-matz]

this was supposed to be strictly a stray kids (& kpop) blog… but i was a directioner way before i even heard about kpop, so for now, at least until the grief of losing such a big & important piece of my childhood subsides, my blog will be dedicated to the boys whose music & laughter has always been one of the biggest sources of comfort & joy for me.

rest easy liam. that’s all i can hope for.

[cm-matz]

i swear to fucking god if i see that liam payne destiel meme one more time i’m gonna lose my shit

[cm-matz]

oh. i think the shock is wearing off and the sad is kicking in.

i saw a tiktok that said "i don't think i could've ever fallen out of love and been so disgusted by a person i don't know so quickly, then literally feel like a piece of the kid in me died with them" and that sums it up perfectly for me.

[cm-matz]

Ayo let 1D fans mourn Liam Payne for the next few days

He may have apparently been a shit person, but he was a huge part of many people's childhoods

They're mourning another childhood loss, not an abuser. Save it for a few days, yeah?

[cm-matz]

i’ll be the first to say that i will never condone liam’s recent actions.

that being said, i’ll be honest and say i am heartbroken over his passing. intentional or unintentional, this is horrifying. my inner child is mourning right now.

please respect the rest of the boys, his family, cheryl cole, his son, and kate cassidy during this time. and i cannot stress this enough: do not put any of this blame on maya henry.

[cm-matz]

Bringing back the Danny Tanner of it all with the news of Liam Payne’s death. Liam was a bad person. He also had a profound impact on a lot of people, especially in their youth. Both these things can be true, and it’s okay to be upset or angry or apathetic. What’s not okay is dictating how people feel about his death.

[cm-matz]

I'm sick to my stomach hearing the news about Liam. I no longer supported him after all the recent allegations, but I never wished death upon him. I'm actually so sad. I was a fan for years. All I can think about is his poor son.

I knew he struggled with his mental health but I think no one in his personal life tried hard enough to help him.

[cm-matz]

i know it’s cool to shit on liam payne for what he did to his ex, but it doesn’t change the fact that he was important to a lot of people and he passed away in a tragic way. so be decent about it and have some respect.

[cm-matz]

I don’t talk about them as much as I used to on this account, but one direction were such a crucial part of everything I was growing up. in a shitty home with no support their music kept me alive for so many of the hardest years of my life, and regardless of what Liam has or hasn’t done recently, seeing that he has passed away has shook me to my fucking core. I idolised those men for 14 fucking years, through all my teens and my early twenties they have meant more to me than I can even put into words, and knowing that I’m never gonna see Liam again has really deeply fucking rocked me man. and I’m supposed to just go on? like go to work tomorrow as normal? fucking hell

[cm-matz]

I’m sorry the former 1d girly in me needs to take a fucking moment… what do you mean liam payne just fucking died? like… please say sike? what the fuck is going on

[cm-matz]

directioners i hope you’re okay. i’m sorry you’re never gonna get a reunion now. i know liam wasn’t a good person but nobody deserves to die like that and then HAVE TMZ POST PHOTOS OF YOUR FUCKING DEAD BODY.

[cm-matz]

This brings up so many complex emotions. I know he hasn’t been the best person and I hope no one blames maya for this (I know how fans can be), I’m also grieving such a huge part of my childhood that has just ceased to exist now