clvrissa

[clvrissa]

it was odd, that she liked to just... exist next to someone else. she was alone a lot of the time, so even just... having a teeny bit of company. without the pressure to perform. she didn’t have any writing to do, though, so she brought along her emily dickinson book. and sure, typically they existed in silence, but her eyes widened as she made her way to the clearing, staring up at one of the trees. “tatum, are... are those birds fucking?”

@hrrvr​

[clvrissa]

as soon as rissa caught sight of kimberly in the mess hall, she couldn’t help the grin that crossed her face, and she shimmied towards the other girl. she got a little too close for comfort (though careful to stay far enough away so the other girl couldn’t touch her in a split second) and told her, “did you know one of the cooks is in my satanic cult?” she shot a glance at a random cook that could be seen in the kitchen. “really cool guy, said he was going to practice his craft on the food he makes.” 

@scrykimber​

[clvrissa]

as tended to be the case, rissa got the short end of the stick when it came to doing the shit tasks. this time, her manager had asked her to walk across the camp to the supply closet, because a kid had just puked but they were out of soap. when she managed to make it to the staff cabin, though, there was already someone there, a tad too close. rissa swallowed, grip tightening on the door for a moment as she took fitz in. she recovered within seconds, though, and scowled. “move it.” 

@fitzcarmichael​

[clvrissa]

"music? has gone to absolute shit,” rissa insisted, without much ado. she sidled up right next to audrey without a word, as if it was a given her presence was welcome. as if she wasn’t terrified, inside, that one day audrey would drop her. “i mean, i swear to god, i can’t even listen to the radio anymore. if i hear like a virgin one more time, i’m going right to madonna’s tacky hollywood mansion and going texas chainsaw massacre on her ass.” 

@undeadspice69​

[clvrissa]

often, clarissa wished she was invisible. sure, she didn’t do anything to make that any easier for her, but still, there was a terror in being known. at least the clothes and the hair distracted people. she never wished for it more, however, than when she caught sight of winnie out of the corner of her eye. she didn’t even bother shooting the other a glare, because that could be precisely what she wanted. “i swear to god, if i see that piece of shit super 8 anywhere near me i’ll spit on you.” 

@ofvhstapes​

[clvrissa]

there was a little area, just behind one of the cabins, where rissa knelt, digging with her hands. it would seem strange to anyone passing by, but was even stranger was when she stopped, grinning, and with a motion gentle then rough then gentle, she unearthed a squirrel skull from beneath the earth. “there you are, buddy,” she muttered, tapping against his skull. “i knew you would be a good one.” she’d known since she’d buried the recently deceased squirrel here last summer. it took her a moment to realize someone had noticed her, and she scowled, “what?” 

[clvrissa]

[clvrissa]

[ ODEYA RUSH. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ] [ ƈʟǟʀɨֆֆǟ "ʀɨֆֆǟ" ƈօաɛռ ] is a [ TWENTY-ONE ] year old [ FIRST AID ] at camp reviere. [ SHE ] makes me think of [ hand stitched skirts, tarot cards shuffled but never dealt, silence ringing in your ears ]. their favorite horror movie is [ THE EVIL DEAD ] and they remind me of [ ֆǟʀǟɦ ɮǟɨʟɛʏ ]. [ ally. 22. est. she/her. ]

what’s up, y’all ???? my name is ally, i have a love/hate relationship with horror, i simp for bailey sarian, i’m extremely inconsistent with the Aesthetic, and i’m here with my fucked-up daughter, rissa !!! her inspo is, ofc, sarah bailey, but instead of magic it’s psychometry. cool? cool. details are below, and yes, this is a novel, but there’s tl;drs.

ֆȶǟȶɨֆȶɨƈֆ.

full name. clarissa genevieve cowen  nickname(s). rissa. she hates clarissa.  occupation. first aid at camp reverie, nursing student  age. twenty-one.  date of birth. january 27, 1963 nationality. american. ethnicity. ashkenazi jewish.  orientation. lesbian. gender & pronouns. cis female, she/her.

height. 5′8″.  weight. 150 lbs. eye color. grey-blue.  hair color + style. dark brown, curly, usually messy. she tries to braid it and keep it back but it always tends to get free.  distinguishing features. those spooky eyes, her homemade baggy clothes, deep and deadpan voice, 

ɮɨօɢʀǟքɦʏ.

born to a mechanic and the town psychic in louisiana in 1963, rissa was kind of destined to be an outcast. or, so she thought; her brother, chaplin, never had too much trouble fitting in.

she was more visibly the psychic’s daughter, though. not only bc she has wild hair, piercing eyes, and is terribly shy. from a young age, her mom used her as a prop during readings, the creepy little girl in the corner of the room. apparently chaplin couldn’t stay still long enough to be spooky :////

that was, until rissa helped one of her mom’s clients clean up her spilled purse, and she touched an old compact mirror. suddenly, she saw what it had seen, and blurted out that this was her mother’s old mirror, that she’d bought it in london and that it had seen war. 

so, her mother asked her to take part in the readings, sometimes. if there was an important object, she’d give it to rissa to evaluate. even if there wasn’t, she’d still put the client’s purse, coat, whatever next to rissa, in case she picked anything up. 

sometimes rissa couldn’t get anything, so she made things up. sometimes she sensed something, and sometimes, too often, she sensed something too awful to even keep the object in her hands. at least once a month, rissa saw something bad enough that she’d run to the attic and hide until her brother came to get her out. you can fill in the blanks there. 

it was when she was ten that her teacher told her there was always a scientific explanation for things, and that magic wasn’t real. she clung to that, and asked to read about seeing things. her teacher told her to find the dsm ii in the public library. what she found... made sense but was almost worse than magic. since then, she’s been convinced she’s sick, and she’s making all the things she saw up in her head. 

she also researched treatments, and that made her want to keep her mouth shut even more. 

she started to avoid readings as much as she could. her mother told her she was wasting her gift. rissa insisted it wasn’t a gift, it was an illness. a disease. 

uhhhhhhhh went full goth in high school. collected bones and hung out with the weird kids and smoked weed while listening to joy division in the woods. she didn’t like to touch people, she felt fucked up, and they were all okay with that. her best friend used to read lovecraft to her when she got high and rissa realized she was in love. she swallowed it down like she swallowed everything else down. 

she spent the last few months of high school living with her father, since her mother didn’t want her to go to nursing school. her brother helped her leave home, and now she’s a nursing student at a community college. 

tl;dr the psychic’s daughter has psychometry, sees some fucked up shit, suppresses her powers and convinces herself she’s having hallucinations, becomes a goth lesbian nursing student, 

քɛʀֆօռǟʟɨȶʏ.

let’s get one thing straight: rissa doesn’t have a fucking clue who she is. she sees herself as something of a shattered mirror; trying to imitate what she thinks people want to see, but too dangerous to touch, to really know. she’s constantly recreating her identity as a result, as some kind of illusion. if she’s mysterious, nobody can tell when something is wrong. 

she makes almost all her own clothes out of like. patchworks of other clothes. this is partially because she’s poor and partially because she likes things that are her own. and also definitely because she can’t find light enough clothing to provide her with the preferred amount of coverage in the summer without being too hot. 

yeah, she wears full length skirts made out of tshirts and old lady cotton cardigans every day, so that she can’t accidentally brush up against anyone and activate her psychometry. also because she hates being known in any capacity. they’re patchwork. she looks like a bag lady. 

she is still a very shy person, but she pretends to be cold and kind of mean instead. if she likes you, though, she’s just sarcastic and trying really hard to be funny. 

Big Lesbian. Huge. 

doesn’t want to be Known. if you’ve known her for longer than a year she’s been like five different people. whenever she feels like she’s falling into a pattern, she does something she thinks no one will expect. her motivation is as flakey as the fucking wind. 

in truth she’s incredibly sensitive and takes everything personally because her self-esteem is like. below rock bottom. 

still has nightmares about what she’s seen with her abilities, though she’s blocked a lot of it out during her day-to-day. if you’ve seen her have a nightmare, she’ll pretend it never happened. 

for some reason, she loves old people. maybe it’s because she can tell if they like her or not from the moment she meets them, and as a result, she doesn’t really care what they think. but also... she loves stories. 

probably has a lovecraft book with her at all times. still very much a goth. 

big Daria vibes. 

collects animal bones. she found a deer skull when she was a kid and all she felt when she touched it was peace. she slept with it like a teddy bear. even though she’s since suppressed her psychometry, she still finds animal bones to be somewhat soothing. 

at parties, the type of person to steal a bottle of vodka and a bag of cheetos and hiding in the bathtub to get turnt. that’s living the good life. if you need to pee, sucks, she’s not moving. 

anyways have some tik toks 

(body image tw) big mood

her last two brain cells trying to destroy her psychometry 

instead of spongebob quotes its joy division lyrics 

աǟռȶɛɖ ƈօռռɛƈȶɨօռֆ.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖎𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖕𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖙. an opposites attract kind of thing. her camp bestie that is very much on the straight and narrow while she tends to wanna go. all over the place. she definitely calls them a nerd daily. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖑. someone whose leg she likes to pull, who she’ll regale with scary stories, whether they want her to or not. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘. a girl rissa has a major crush on. not like she’ll ever say it out loud. 

𝖏𝖚𝖉𝖌𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙. a good influence of sorts. someone who curtails some of rissa’s more chaotic tendencies and sees the potential she has. someone who rissa actually feels a responsibility to.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖑. opposite of judgement. someone who brings out the worst, most chaotic and painful and hurtful parts of her. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘. someone who understands her trauma, to some extent. they connect on that deep level, even if they don’t connect on the surface. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖙. she someone she can get weird with yk. probably smokes weed with her and knows a little too much about her for comfort. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖗. authority for her to rebel against. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗. someone with a fucked up past that triggers her psychometry like nothing else. maybe she brushed against them on the first day of camp and almost passed out. she avoids them like the plague. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓. their optimism fucking kills her. she wants so badly to be mean to them but can never bring herself to. makes her want to be kind. 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓. is fascinated by her past life as a psychic prop and thinks she’s So Cool. rissa is probably crueler to them than anyone else, because she doesn’t want to think about that time in her life. 

[clvrissa]

[clvrissa]

Looking for Alaska (2019)

[clvrissa]

living in a little cottage, drying flowers and herbs, having lots of books, collecting old photographs, wearing vintage clothes which have been bought on the local market and reading under the candle lights

[clvrissa]

[clvrissa]

*Romantically passes you the blunt*.

[clvrissa]

she changed like the moon, sometimes little more than a ghost, barely there a remnant of what she truly was, and sometimes, she shone so bright she took my breath away dazzling with a fervour unmatched.

h.s. (via ravcncycle)

[clvrissa]

First full moon of the decade | By astrofalls

[clvrissa]

[clvrissa]