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~goals~

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A skinny face card never declines, but a fat one will

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i’m back bitches, I definitely thought i was done with this but apparently i’m not.

I have definitely gained since my last post but i’ve been going to the gym consistently since, so it’s hopefully more muscle than fat.

I totally stopped posting because i wanted to get better and because restricting just felt increasingly more difficult but I just need to get into it again because the thoughts are certainly back. :(

i wanna track what i eat again and if I post it I feel compelled to stick to it.

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not a lot of changes but these pants used to only fit as high waisted jeans

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okay so big update, i just got back from my three month long trip and I just weighed myself… to my surprise I now weigh 55kg 😝. I thought i must’ve gained weight because i wasn’t able to restrict as I would’ve liked but I freaking made it. I am almost at my first goal weight and I feel so happy.

Now the not so happy news: I have been losing a lot of hair and it is kinda scaring me now. does anybody have any tips to avoid this or any ideas on how they have dealt with this issue. Also is this even related to my weight loss. I just thought it made sense it could also be related to stress but i’ve never experienced this before my ED so I guess that is the most logical reason for it.

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i don’t have access to a scale here and it has been really hard to stick to restricting and eating healthy while travelling but it seems I at least haven’t gained

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so, i’m at 57,4 kg right now. i don’t know why it took so freaking long to lose some more. i lost the first 4kg in like 2 weeks and I needed like 3 weeks to start losing again. oh well i guess i should be happy. I am kinda happy i love the high you get from the dropping numbers in the scale and i think it’ll push me to lose more

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i feel like i’ve been an obstacle or a nuisance to anybody in my life that was important to me. makes me seriously think about my options. it obviously isn’t the only reason and i’ve felt it for a long time but that really just reinforces it.

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Girlhood

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i’ve been gone for a while, I honestly was so ashamed about what i’ve been eating and also the quantity of it. I haven‘t been able to control myself around food and the problem is i’ve been doing a lot with friends and they always want to eat but the good news is somehow i’ve been able to maintain the 58 kg that i reached at the beginning. now i’m out of money anyways so no groceries for me 😛. anyways i hope i can go back to restricting and losing more.

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Lately, I have been feeling like I am not really sick. In a way I was so eagerly waiting to have an ed. I pushed myself because I thought that is the way to get thin and be happier. But I feel like I am not truly there yet?? What do I have to do?

I’ve always hated the way I look but I loved food more, so I just ate but now I finally was in the right headspace, still my head is telling me I’m faking it. Especially because I ate so much this weekend like how sick can I be if I could eat so much.

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I had a horrible weekend my little brother came to visit and he can eat so much shit and needed so much food and I ended up eating so much stuff 💀💀💀💀 I don’t want to weigh myself I am afraid all my progress is gone I was feeling so skinny and now I feel so fat I want to die

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Does anybody else struggle with fasting? I feel like the easiest way to lose weight for me is to restrict throughout the day. If I fast I tend to eat more afterwards cause my hunger is harder to control.

Does anybody have any tips for fasting I wanna be able to do it and for it to pay off

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😭

ok but do i want to be that girl skinny or do i want to be anime girl skinny or do i want to be ethereal painting skinny or do i want to be omg she’s so hot skinny or do i want to be sickly skinny or do i want to be model skinny or do i want to be would-be-blown-away-by-a-slight-breeze skinny or do i just want to die lol

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Today I completed my second 22 hour fast 🤠 haven’t got up to 24 hours yet. How do people fast for days? Seems so imposible to me still probably cause I’m a fatty 😭

Anyway im breaking my fast with a Protein bar