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"that doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" is an iconic confession for a lot of reasons but i love that andrew obviously picked his wording so so carefully there to avoid admitting any feelings involved and then neil's demisexual ass just totally bypasses that and he responds saying "you like me." WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT ANDREW WAS TRYING TO AVOID ADMITTING.

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"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

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Spent an hour trying to find a coffee shop with parking/open seating so I could read TGR. Finally found an entirely empty coffee shop, with the open sign turned off, but it seemed open (& it was 1 PM on a Saturday), so I went in and asked and they were like oh yeah sorry we forgot about the sign!! So I got a coffee from the exceptionally friendly waitstaff, and a free mini muffin to eat while waiting. And now I’m sipping my coffee and reading, in the still entirely empty cafe, and I’m so confused why this seems to be the only coffee shop in the entire city with exactly zero business, but $4 coffee and hot baristas. I fear it’s some kind of money laundering front and I’m annoying some very lovely members of an Ethiopian organized crime syndicate

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funniest part of dracula is 100% Mina inheriting her friend's polycule after she dies. like these three random himbos (or two himbos + jack seward if you want to slice it that way) just collectively announce they'll follow her to the ends of the earth after going through some spooky stuff together and she's like "damn ok, i already have a loving husband but i guess it's what Lucy would want"

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NEW YORK (AP) — New York Attorney General Letitia James on Monday told hospitals that they would be violating state law if they stop offering gender-affirming care for people under age 19 in response to an executive order from President Donald Trump aimed at curtailing federal funding for such treatments.

In a letter, James, a Democrat, told health care facilities that refusing to provide the treatments would violate New York’s anti-discrimination laws.

“Regardless of the availability of federal funding, we write to further remind you of your obligations to comply with New York State laws,” her letter reads.

Everyone say thank you to NY Attorney General Letitia James!!!

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i want to take you on a journey i just went on

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happy spotify wrapped

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not going to lie i am kind of obsessed with annabeth at 12 years old watching one of those "is megalodon still out there?" bullshit ass documentaries and she wholeheartedly buys into it because she's 12 and still thinks that if it airs on animal planet or the history channel it must be accurate, so she tells percy all about the totally real facts and figures and percy's like "that's bullshit. if we had giant sharks we'd know. that's such bullshit" and there's like..... you know how they canonically email each other when they're not at camp? there's like half the email dedicated to "here's what i did this week" and then 15 paragraphs about their megalodon argument. neither of them do any research about it because annabeth thinks she's done the research by watching the documentary, and percy is a) dyslexic, and as much as he wants to stick it to annabeth he will not be reading anything he does not have to, and b) why would he READ he can just ASK THE FUCKING SHARKS. but he's stuck in NYC so he can't ask any sharks until the summer, and the fact that percy is disagreeing with her means that annabeth is digging her heels into this argument and refusing to budge, so it's a completely inane back and forth argument because both these 12 year olds are just making up their own arguments to try and own the other, and eventually percy defaults to going i am a SON of POSEIDON i think i KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT SHARKS i am BASICALLY KIND OF RELATED TO ALL SHARKS EVERYWHERE BECAUSE MY DAD MADE ALL OF THEM TOO SO SUCK IT. and then he hits send on that particular email and has an existential crisis because, if his dad is the ocean, and made all the things in the ocean, and also horses, are they all his siblings? or were the first ones of each species his siblings, and now it's kind of questionable? how many genetic steps away is he from a fucking manta ray? he can't ponder for long because sally reads his email to annabeth over his shoulder and grounds him for telling annabeth to suck it, and makes him write an apology email.

and then they get to camp and naturally the megalodon argument falls to the wayside because of the fact that percy and annabeth's lives are a mcdonald's playplace for gods and titans to do what they want. but i'd like to think during the downtime in sea of monsters, annabeth resurrects the argument and percy's like I'M ASKING THE FUCKING SHARKS and marches to the bay and patiently waits for a shark to answer his I'm The Son Of Poseidon And I Have A Question call, and it does happen to be a traveling great white that answers. percy's like "i've gotta win this argument please tell me megalodon is extinct" and after crossing the language barrier, the shark explains that yes, megalodon is extinct. they don't call their ancestor sharks megalodon, sharks have their own words for their ancestor sharks, and because percy as tiny lord of the ocean is technically partially their god he gets to understand special shark language. but nobody else does, so when percy is explaining this interaction to annabeth and tries to repeat the shark-word for megalodon, he opens his mouth and makes a rumbling-clicking-bad-ear sound, and annabeth calls him a liar and swears he's making up this entire shark interaction and he can't prove anything. percy is so mad. he goes back to the ocean and talks to another shark because he's like I'M RIGHT AND SHE WON'T LISTEN and this shark, a bull shark, helpfully suggests that cannibalism might be the answer, because he's a shark. the conversation kind of devolved into percy nervously asking if all ocean life everywhere is technically related to him, and the bull shark is like no, no, no, that's not how it works, son of poseidon. you're not related to US. you're related to the WATER. and the bull shark sounds so happy that he could help that percy just beams at him and goes "thanks!" even though internally he's more confused than ever, and he has to sit at the bottom of the ocean having an existential crisis

cut to many years and near-death situations later, after percy's gap..... years, in which he just did not care for the prospect of college, and annabeth kicking her own ass during undergrad and now moving on to graduate school (shhh the chases can afford it), percy's wandered into a marine biology track. the megalodon argument has been buried by less fun arguments, like percy arguing that annabeth should help do his laundry because she pretty much only wears his clothes anyway. percy has made College Friends, and he's really excited to introduce his beautiful, wonderful, best friend-girlfriend to his College Friends. annabeth starts the conversation by going "i think megalodon is still out there" and percy's Marine Biology College Friends all turn to stare at percy while percy chokes on his own spit and tries (read: fails) to breathe

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Lying in bed in jumi’s guest room listening to my former situationship (who I was supposed to be fucking on this trip) & his new girlfriend giggle together in the kitchen. Hilariously karmic for me, & a good practice-breakup that will hopefully help me build the skills to handle a real one better, but jesus this suck so bad LOL! And I feel bad bc I’ve been down this whole trip, though trying to be fun and chill, and I’m here for another week (sorry when I booked my tickets was planning on needing a lot of time for balancing sex & hanging out w jumi sue me) and am gonna get home and IMMEDIATELY move out of my family home to a diff city to start a new job. And I think I’m gonna be living in my boss’s basement. So I think that is adding an extra level of stress/distress to this whole experience, staring down the barrel of a gun of a major life change that is in my mind tied up with this trip. And also, even though i think it will be wonderful to be near my college friends, all of whom are in the area, im also losing the experience of being #1 in someone’s life, either through living with my family or through julianne, altho he’s only in town for the winter & will prob leave in march, which would have left me once again alone in my hometown/college town with none of my friends remaining except for queenie, who i hope will not learn this news from my tumblr post bc i need to call her and break the news 😬 also feeling very sad abt leaving her even though we have not seen much of each other all year or, really, since i moved out at the end of 2022

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Rather upset about something for which there is no solution but acceptance, but I keep brooding over it, and so my solution has been to declare a moratorium on thinking about it, and every time my brain circles back around to it I go “moratorium!” And make myself think about something else. I’m still upset and brooding but I think eventually it’s gonna work

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it's funny when quotes from communist figures breach containment online and people are like "btw in case you didn't know this guy was really problematic"

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My wife did some glass etching, so we have a bunch of glasses with this at the bottom.

This was early on in our marriage, these are just the glasses we use every day.

Fast forward to when my son is five years old. He has learned to read. He has graduated from sippy cups.

When I hear him wailing and crying I come running down the stairs, and he's inconsolable. Took a lot of soothing and time to explain to him that it was just a joke. He wanted the glasses destroyed, but as a compromise we retired them from use for a while.

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Studies show that babies are not afraid of snakes

Scientists launched reptiles into the nursery to assess the reaction of the kids. The result killed: the crumbs perceived the reptiles as toys, and some tried to eat them

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mice are having sex in my walls :(

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also also today in our research meeting i was like oh my GOD i have no idea what’s going on. i might be stupid. i need to start taking my adhd meds for these things. i contribute basically nothing to this project. (all pretty emotionally neutral observations!) and then like 3 hours later he was like Do You Want To Mentor And Care For My Only Child Full Time. so i guess he has some positive feelings about me!