clehame

[clehame]

I was trying to find out if Kermit was eligible to be pope and I found a blog that says he's the perfect example of a catholic priest

[clehame]

My favorite part of my work day is when my kid goes to the bathroom and I sit on the edge of the tub scrolling twitter and periodically turn my phone to show her an edit of Dr Abbott from The Pitt

[clehame]

My friend just called me to inform me that my former FWB (a guy she and her friends exclusively refer to as “gay Evan” despite only knowing him bc he was sleeping with me, a woman) got fired by DOGE, which her roommate found out when browsing his LinkedIn profile (??), news to which I had responded by informing her that actually he preemptively quit to “focus on reading and writing.” Humiliating for me tbh

[clehame]

fondly remembering when pope francis said he hopes hell is empty. top pope francis moments. right up there with him saying some seminaries are too faggy

[clehame]

i say we give it 3 days just to be sure

[clehame]

Today my nanny kid (nonspeaking autistic) was pissed off with me bc I wouldn’t give her the ipad, so eventually I pulled out her letterboard & asked her what she wanted and with zero hesitation she spelled out “GUN.”

[clehame]

fucking love the pitt. they let the autistic girl chill with a dog fo a bit then her boss came in like "fucking love u girl my least troublesome intern wanna pick sooo much gravel out a dudes leg wound?" and she was just like 😀😀😀 incredible. banger autistic rep shes so me.

[clehame]

Why the hell did they take away my instant queue button do they hate me or something

[clehame]

Was reading book 22 of the odyssey (where Odysseus kills the suitors) to my nanny kid, and halfway through she picked up my phone and hurled it full force into my face. And I told my brother about this and he went “she must’ve liked the suitors.”

[clehame]

hey. sorry for calling you "my subject" at your family dinner. i'm not sure if i meant it in a princess way or a scientist way but either way it was definitely a sex thing for me

[clehame]

I think people mean well when they insist that America isn't a Christian country but it just obfuscates the situation and makes it more difficult for minorities to frame their experiences. America is a fundamentally, structurally, ideologically Christian country from top to bottom. It's exhausting, it's suffocating, and it's the truth. Nearly all political forces, pop culture phenomena, and major life philosophies here are either built on Christianity or propped up as subverting Christianity in a way that is, of course, still entirely about Christianity. Leftwing movements here that are ostensibly hostile to Christianity still ultimately structure their worldviews around their own versions of salvation, rapture, original sin, eternal judgement, heaven, and hell. Most people here fail to see Christianity all around them, influencing every facet of American life, for the same reason that a fish can't see water.

[clehame]

"that doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" is an iconic confession for a lot of reasons but i love that andrew obviously picked his wording so so carefully there to avoid admitting any feelings involved and then neil's demisexual ass just totally bypasses that and he responds saying "you like me." WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT ANDREW WAS TRYING TO AVOID ADMITTING.

[clehame]

"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

[clehame]

Spent an hour trying to find a coffee shop with parking/open seating so I could read TGR. Finally found an entirely empty coffee shop, with the open sign turned off, but it seemed open (& it was 1 PM on a Saturday), so I went in and asked and they were like oh yeah sorry we forgot about the sign!! So I got a coffee from the exceptionally friendly waitstaff, and a free mini muffin to eat while waiting. And now I’m sipping my coffee and reading, in the still entirely empty cafe, and I’m so confused why this seems to be the only coffee shop in the entire city with exactly zero business, but $4 coffee and hot baristas. I fear it’s some kind of money laundering front and I’m annoying some very lovely members of an Ethiopian organized crime syndicate