cleaverbilt

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I simply do not vibe with my father

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In regards to your AU, what's Aaravi's relationship with Bellanda like? I feel like it's safe to assume she doesn't care for Laudanda and Amanda, so I'm curious as to how well she gets on with the sister Miranda's closest to.

(Also, thank you for opening my eyes to Miravi. I was pretty neutral on it until I stumbled across your art and ramblings about them, and now I have three fanfic WIP's for them and am currently naming their fankids)

ironically i havent been writing very much about bellanda yet, despite her having a fairly large role in the story regardless. mostly this is just me not being happy with how i write her just yet - i know WHAT i want to do with her and how she acts, but getting her voice nailed down in my brain is a different matter (and one that i always struggle with anyways)

the important thing to understand first about bellanda is that her and miranda are heavily codependent.

like. heavily, heavily codependent. its not necessarily healthy, no, but given their circumstances it is VERY understandable. bellanda and miranda are unusually close in age for the inheriting children of a royal (being only five years difference between them, though i might fudge this number a little going forward just to make sure the timeline works out, regardless theyre still extremely close in age compared to any of the other sisters), and for that they mostly got raised together. royals tend to be raised by a group of nannies and caretakers, with very little interaction with other merfolk at their same age (beyond other heirs from other families they might interact with when their families are doing business together, but they're discouraged from keeping these as anything other than temporary, since theres a fear of unfair advantages later in life, as well as the other family using their younger heirs as weapons against their own), so they all kind of grow up disconnected from themselves and their own childhood and have a harder time forging connections outside of the setting of the courts and royal business as an adult. it also keeps their social connections pretty intensely tied to their family in comparison, which helps form the basic differences between the community system for everyone else and the family system for royals.

however, as i've mentioned before, merfolk are hypersocial and will readily form social bonds anytime they can, so being raised together meant that bellanda and miranda essentially became each others entire social lives. they were the one person the other knew they could trust with 100% certainty and often physically relied on each other in a way that they couldn't with anyone else. in bellanda's case, since the queen died only a few months after miranda was born, she became the default adult and "parent" in miranda's life, far moreso than their actual parent.

so, within the merkingdom, they ended up intensely relying on each other with no other avenues for close emotional connection, which was only enabled by their respective roles, being that bellanda being head of military meant that she was a defacto guard for miranda and literally protecting her, in a way that was intended because she was the crown princess, but ended up being because she was literally bellanda's only friend, her sister, and the child that she was going to have to take care of.

and all of this mistrust of other people and intense closeness did come out of a place of necessity within the merkingdom, when backstabbing and blackmail and doing anything to anyone before they can do anything to you first was the norm (and still is, this stint on land is very brief, all things considered) and something to be genuinely feared and guarded against, alongside their connection being looked down upon already as them giving unfair advantage to each other in their court dealings. when multiple suitors have tried playing the loverboy card to get close to both of them, there's a very good reason they would mistrust anyone trying to get close to them and fear anyone coming "between" them.

but it stops being so reasonable and necessary once miranda was sent up to the land to act as ambassador for the merkingdom.

which, miranda absolutely still acted the same as before when she first came up. she was suspicious of everyone and mistrustful of any attempts to get close to her, and this generally contributed a lot to her being deep in culture shock and freaking the fuck out over how deeply out of her element she was and how (reasonably) terrified she was of experiences that she had never had in her life. it was a very rough, very hard time for her, and while that doesnt excuse how much of a massive, raging asshole she was during that time, it DOES explain her behavior and why it was so severe.

however, as you can imagine, the present does not take place during miranda's first year or two on land, and in that time, miranda's... gotten used to the land, basically? she's figured out she can have friends! she's figured out she can bond with people! she has more people who she can trust and who will defend her! she has people who she wants to protect as well! she's much more relaxed than any other time prior in her life, and that means she comes off as much more affectionate and open.

of which, ALL of this is vital to understanding why bellanda is the way that she is.

because bellanda didn't get sent up to the land during those first few years. bellanda was still inside the merkingdom, still overseeing business there, still dealing with the same things that she's dealt with for her entire life. she doesn't know miranda's friends, she's never talked to them, she has no reason to trust them beyond miranda's word, and miranda HAS placed her trust in people that she shouldn't have before, they both have. she IS still dealing with a deeper culture shock, and DOES come across as overprotective and stifling and even possessive over miranda BECAUSE she's so scared of being alone, and of someone hurting miranda, and of someone betraying her trust again. her entire life shes been shoved into the role of the single person who has to take care of miranda and ensure that the newest heir to the throne doesn't die, been told that's her entire purpose in life, been put into this role when she herself was deeply vulnerable, and that's not just something she can stop doing overnight. it's fucked up, but its what they're both used to.

which is why bellanda can also come across as. a huge fucking bitch, sometimes. she can be aggressive, and rude, and judgemental, and takes shit WAY too hard against miranda's friends and any landfolk she gets used to. and, to be fair, miranda gets this. she knows what bellanda's going through and she's not using it against her sister, especially because she is still deeply dependent and close to bellanda in the first place, but like. she's been through this too. she knows what's going through bellanda's head. she wants her to open up and to have a little faith in her friends, and she knows bellanda can go over the line, but she knows that bellanda can get through this too. she's known bellanda for all of her life, she knows what she's like.

still, she can be... incredibly harsh on anyone who isn't miranda, and aaravi ABSOLUTELY got a lot of that at first.

mostly it was due to the whole... monster hunter thing. as you can imagine, bellanda being told that her little sister was getting close to and toying around with someone who's entire job and life has been figuring out how to kill people who are quite a fair bit like miranda, did not go over so well. bellanda has a lot of reason to not trust people, and she had a lot of reason to not trust aaravi too. anyone coming around with live weapons around miranda is automatically something of note and something that bellanda has to take care of, and she wasn't too excited by the thought of miranda going down into a dungeon, full of things both capable and willing to kill her, with someone else who was fully capable of killing her or leaving her for dead, and with previously stated intentions to WANT to do that.

meanwhile, from aaravi's side — by the time she started actually talking to bellanda, she just thought bellanda was dope as hell. i mean, she walks around with a cleaver half the size that she is (and she IS something like 12ft long), and she has a cool spiky pauldron that she never takes off, and an eyepatch with huge scars on her face, and, entirely unlike miranda, bellanda is a brick shithouse of muscle and terror. bellanda is not only head warlord but she's damn GOOD at her job and cuts a figure that's equally as imposing.

of course bellanda was like fucking catnip to aaravi. how could she not be. miranda already was constantly talking up bellanda every time she got brought up, and she mentioned sparring with bellanda and her being where she learned to fight (and miranda does ABSOLUTELY know how to fight, to an impressive degree), so aaravi was already coming in with a high opinion of bellanda. bellanda was cool as hell. bellanda was someone that aaravi was looking forward to meeting and sparring with herself.

which is likely the sense that they first got especially acquainted with each other. bellanda's visitations already meant that miranda would be getting touched up on her lessons, and pulling aaravi in was natural from there, especially since aaravi already wanted to at least watch, if nothing else. miranda's schooltime castle DOES have an armory and a built-in training area, so this was something that was expected and fully planned for long ahead of time, and bellanda declining just wasn't an option with that type of setup.

which... she wouldn't have declined either, because bellanda might have initially been using the sparring as an excuse to be, as i've mentioned already, a total hardass on aaravi. as in, perhaps using this less as a chance to train and to teach aaravi some new skills, and more as a chance to have an excuse to beat aaravi up and have it be socially acceptable. it was not an honorable thing to start with, but it did help bellanda vent some steam and use it as an excuse to try and scare aaravi off, if not actually injure her and terrify her away from miranda and away from talking to miranda.

though, again, aaravi actually took this in stride? she's a slayer. she's used to the things she fights trying to beat the absolute snot out of her, and her training already was fucked up enough on its own, and to aaravi this was FANTASTIC. it was like a roller coaster ride to her, providing a HELL of an adrenaline rush that she didn't otherwise get when she sparred with people. she liked bellanda already, she thought she was cool as hell, and bellanda putting up an ACTUAL fight???

oh, aaravi LOVED it. it was GREAT. it was everything she was imagining and even more, and if she seemed like a puppy following along behind the elder butch, then she didn't notice it nor the fact that bellanda didn't like her very much.

(or, rather, aaravi did notice the fact that bellanda didn't like her and even outright hated her at times, but... again, miranda had already warned her that she was an asshole, but who was sweet and lovely if she did manage to get on bellanda's good side. and at this point, she's already started to hear some things about the merkingdom, and how fucked up it is, and likewise came to the conclusion that. yeah, she sees WHY bellanda is like this. she can't really blame her for that.)

which was all very good, because. well, bellanda isn't immune to cute things either. she's close to miranda, after all. she likes cute little bastards who don't know what's good for them and keep trying to pick fights because they think its fun. she IS still a big sister, after all, and there's only so long she can tolerate having a baby butch follow her around with stars in her eyes before she gives in.

just look at aaravi. look at aaravi's "FIGHT ME" attitude and lack of fear regarding people who are way fucking bigger than her. tell me bellanda wouldn't fucking adore her.

all of which likewise ends up giving aaravi an edge over miranda's other friends - as aaravi oftentimes DOES end up understanding miranda and bellanda and understanding where they're coming from and why they have to be cautious. like, she knows what its like to have siblings end up turned against each other. she knows the entire complicated tangle that is family and loving someone and hating someone and dealing with their massive pile of flaws and how much its fucked over your own life and yet still desperately being close to them. she knows the way this dance goes. after all, despite all the frustration she feels towards salil, despite the fights and despite him deciding to go and side with their dad, she still can't bring herself to hate him. he is still her little brother. she still wants to protect him, despite, despite, despite.

so... yeah! aaravi and bellanda actually likewise end up fairly close, and with several things in common (which gives miranda relief, since she wants to introduce her ul'kiha into her existing social bond with bellanda, as is the norm in merfolk society, and they're actually getting along and getting close to each other, as opposed to the rest of her friends who she can't fit into the same relationship hierarchy). bellanda gives aaravi an outlet for her energy and is someone who can keep up with her, and aaravi is someone who bellanda feels safe trusting and relying on, hence helping her slowly open up as well. against literally all of her in-laws, aaravi actually has a pretty damn good relationship with bellanda.

(and it's funny you should mention fankids - i have one fankid for miranda and aaravi already! their name is Virina Mishra, named after aaravi's mom.)

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COME ON BARBIE, LET’S GO PARTY (ah, ah, ah, yeah!)

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You’ve become carrion, sister.

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She’s feeling very proud all of a sudden. How odd.

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royalreef​:

       “Envy? Is that what you assume I feel for you?” She’s not elaborating any further. That’s a sign of danger, in all that they were born and raised in, and all that Bellanda knows of Amanda. “Only you would be so astute as to mistake what I do as refusing to put in any hard work. Or, perhaps, are you implying your own hands are dirty? That perhaps I should speak to Ts’yuti Renjr’ar about having someone look into that? To clean them up for you?”

“Now now, no need to make assumptions-I’m sure it is very difficult to be waited on hand and foot by those who revere you. I most certainly could not handle such a burden.”

“You would bother him with such meaningless trifles as me doing just as I am told? Truly, your courage knows no bounds, sister mine. What would I do without you to hold me up, just as Atlas holds the world, or a beetle its dung?”

[cleaverbilt]

royalreef​:

     “Have we come across a lack of dark corners for you to hide within? Should I call the royal architects, and demand more to be built? Or are you merely going to constantly sit upon the sidelines and watch whilst everyone else goes about their ordered business?”

“Oh, sister dearest, my deepest apologies. I should have known you would grow envious were I to make my appearance, yet it seems I couldn’t help myself. Don’t fret-I’ll go back to dirtying my hands so your delicate, feeble constitution need not chip a nail soon enough.”

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Well, well, look who it is. No wonder it reeks of hypocrisy in here.

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Normalize rpers following each other to enjoy each others writing and headcanons. Normalize interacting in a, 'you are cool and this thing you write is too!' without the stigma of, if you follow another role player your muses must interact to enjoy each other on the dash. Of course we enjoy writing - that is why we are here - but I do also enjoy my fellow rpers and their content even if we aren't.

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Yasmine Wüster

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royalreef​:

      The ground below them vibrates. To Bellanda’s ears, she would be able to hear what was happening, hear the infrasonic rumbles that emanate from her little sister, deep and visceral enough to make the world around them tremble in their presence. They both know what that sound is, what it means. She’s growling at Bellanda.

       Miranda has growled at Bellanda before. Contrary to popular belief, they still have had their fights, petty and important, as happens among siblings. They’re good at not showing it off, at keeping it secret, private. Anything too public would be a danger, and they could not be seen having a divide, even a temporary one. Then they could be properly, actually broken up, torn from each other like a limb from a socket.

       But not ever like this. Not this loud, not with baring teeth and fangs and flared fins and slow-swishing tail, not staring her down like Miranda’s world was coming undone and it was all Bellanda’s horrible, horrible fault.

       Head twists to the side and lunges, snaps her jaws just an inch from Bellanda’s face, in the worst move to command her to be silent that Miranda’s ever dared with her big sister. She’s being insolent, and Miranda knows it. She doesn’t bother to care right now, not for all the petty, furious hatred and hurt in the world. If she was going to act like a child, then she was going to get what she was fully owed, brash and brazen and utterly daring Bellanda to strike her down for it.

        It might have been easier, if she did. In a way, Miranda wished Bellanda would just reprimand her, would push claws and teeth into her skin, would remind her who was the bigger sister, who had looked after her all of her life, who her every breath was owed to, and who Miranda could neatly sort into mental categories, assign easier feelings to, force her own body to obey and believe that it was all wrong and why would she ever have doubted her T’gyt?

      This must be why her friends so loved the title of arsonists. To be incendiary meant that someone else could be the spark, and burn away all the excess filth about them.     

      “That is rich coming from you, Tag'yct'eh-Kht'Aeng'glehr'l.” Cute nicknames that they had given to each other when they were pups were not going to be a part of this conversation. “When were you going to tell me? Were you just going to keep it a secret forever, and hope I did not find out? 

      You were just going to let me sit and cry and worry and make myself sick all day and night about someone breaking in and dragging us both out on a silver platter to be diced up and served to a hungry crowd, my entire world crumbling around me in seconds, meanwhile you got to sit happy and content in the truth? 

      While I have told you every single miserable, stupid fact about myself for all of my life for you to judge and would have blindly trusted you to the end? While you have gotten to know everything about me from the moment I was born and you get to keep as many awful secrets as you please, no matter how it hurts me? Has my pain always been so worthless to you?

                                       What other secrets have you been hiding?                                               How else do you wish to hurt me?”

Bellanda’s chest is tight, all of a sudden-her world crashing down upon her head like a tidal wave. She knows. She knows. She knows, she knows, she knows, she knows-

Breathe. It’s not too late, it can’t be too late. There has to be a way to salvage this, a way to assuage her fear and her fury without putting her at risk. Surely she made a contingency for when this exact moment came upon them, right? She just has to wrack her brain until she recalls it.

Nothing. She’s drawn up blanks, and Miranda towers before her, snapping and snarling and demanding the truth, blissfully ignorant to the tempest whose eye she resides in.

Au’tyr.

“Do you truly think that little of me? Do you think I kept this from you to take sick pleasure in your torment, in your suffering? Do you think I did not spent countless nights awake and fretful of what would happen, if you were to know, haunted by the knowledge that you would turn on me in an instant? That even if you did not, if they were to learn that you knew, they would finally have excuse to see you dead? At least if I kept it quiet, you were free from the consequences of my actions, kept safe by your own ignorance. But now you stand before me, fangs and claws bared, demanding the truth and nothing less, unaware of the poisons that come with it!”

Bellanda slumps in her seat, her sigh weary and her shoulders heavy, having aged a thousand years in only a moment. “I will not deny you, I will not treat you like a fool. You wish to know my secrets? Then I will tear myself open and show you my heart. But do not say I didn’t warn you.”

A violent tremble runs through her, betraying the mask of indifference she so often keeps upon her face. Nsh’atf’rr forgive her for what she must do.

“I am a bastard, born of the King and a woman not of noble blood. When he learned of me, he had my mother killed, and were it not for the mercy of the Queen, would have killed me with her.”

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royalreef​:

       “Tag'yct'eh-Kht'Aeng'glehr'l, we have to talk.”

Ah, her full name-that’s quite a rarity these days. Something must be very wrong, then.

“Is everything alright, Sz’xi?” Many times she’s heard that tone spill fourth from Miranda’s mouth, but never once has it been directed at her. Thinking over her actions as of late, she attempts to recall anything she’s done that could have triggered her sister’s ire-and comes up entirely blank. Her brow furrows-if it’s not something she’s done, then what else could it be? Miranda doesn’t get angry at just anything.

...Surely it’s not about-

No, best not even entertain the idea. If she found out about that, well...she doesn’t want to think about it. Her heart’s beating fast enough as it is, thank you very much.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

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BOUNCES ON BELL'S BED. BOUNCES ON BELL'S BED. SIS, SIS WAKE UP. SIS YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING FOR TOO LONG, YOU'VE MISSED THE EXCITEMENT. MIRI IS SOOO CLOSE TO PUSHING HER SISTER ONTO THE FLOOR.

"GHHH-OKAY! I'M UP, I'M UP!"

"Goodness, can't I get any rest around here? I've only been asleep for, what, two hours?"

"WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'EIGHT MONTHS'-"

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milobelladonna​:

      They are also taking selfies with Bellanda’s sleeping form and captioning them as “Just hanging out with the BEASTIE!!! 💜💜💜”

Bellanda please wake up before your datemate starts photoshopping sunglasses onto your face.

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There seems to be some confusion in regards to people finding their blogs deleted. As best I understand it, this is what’s going on.

Several roleplay groups have had their main blogs deleted due to being found in violation of Tumblr’s policies. A common practice of many RPGs is to create a separate ad blog, whose sole purpose is to post promos that link back to their main. Most of these ad blogs are queued to post identical or nearly identical promos at a steady rate – slower queues can post every few days, while faster queues can post every hour.

It seems that this is in violation of Tumblr’s policies regarding spam, as well as “deceptive means to generate traffic/revenue.” Rather than solely deactivating the ad blogs, they are also deactivating the main blogs that they link back to. It also seems that some people have been able to recover their blogs by appealing to Tumblr, but others have been lost forever.

To the best of my knowledge, these abrupt deactivations have only been affecting people that repeatedly make identical or near identical posts. As this is primarily a practice done by RPGs via dedicated ad blogs, it shouldn’t be affecting many indie roleplayers. The few indie deactivations I’ve heard of appear to be unrelated accidents – if this happens to you, contact staff immediately and, provided you’re not in violation of any policies, they should be able to restore your account. That being said, this site is notoriously fickle, so regularly backing up content that you would be upset to lose is always a good idea. For RPGs, your best bet seems to be deleting your ad blog immediately, if you have one, and to drastically reduce how often you post identical promos.

Now, I understand how how it feels to find that something you’ve worked hard on is suddenly gone, with no guarantee of getting it back. It’s a terrible feeling and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I would greatly prefer Tumblr use some sort of warning system to give users a chance to fix things before all of their hard work disappears.

That being said, RPG spam has been a problem for a long time, with larger fandoms having their main tags rendered unusable due to the sheer volume of nearly identical group promos. So while deactivating blogs with no warning is certainly extreme, I do believe staff is correct to do something to curb this issue. And I hope this will make RPGs reconsider how they promote themselves, and find new ways to do so that are more considerate to other users.

[cleaverbilt]

Tumblr’s at it again with terminating blogs. It’s happened to quite a few people I know. I’m quite certain it’s a bug, and contacting tumblr will get them reinstated. But it is a very stressful moment for a lot of people regardless.

In light of this, I wanted to give some advice: please please please save all your headcanons and important muse info (even your theme) in a google doc or a document you can access with ease that is not affiliated with tumblr. You have worked hard on those. You deserve to know your work isn’t going to waste and in the event your blog does not get reinstated, it’ll be much easier to make a new blog and just re-add the information with little hassle, and you won’t feel like you lost something valuable because you’ll still have access to it.

This has been a small psa.