Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by cigarettesadbois and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
351K
Likes Per Post
201K
Reblog Per Post
150K
Reply Per Post
228
Time Between Posts
1 month ago
Number of Posts By Type
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17
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
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Someday I'm either gonna kill myself or publish a book and I'm kinda excited to find out which one.
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fantasy book from 1995 you have the most familiar description of suicidal ideation I've ever read
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I want to kill myself which isn't unusual but damn I feel like shit
#i wanted to kms since i was 8.#literally as long as i can remember#its just the longer i go without doing it the more of a failure i feel like
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Ive literally been barely scraping by and trying not to kill myself for as long as I can remember and I'm tired af.
#like i remember being like 4 and just sick of life#some people arent made for living i guess#whats the point in doing anything to fix the damage ive already done when im probably just gonna kms#its all ive ever wanted
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Just got 2 teeth pulled, had to wait outside in 80 degree heat for an hour after to go home and then when i got there i got yelled at by my husband for "not acting like an adult" about it.
#like i did something that was scary for me and i had been neglecting due to trauma and nobody cares#i got yelled at#why take care of myself if im just gonna want to kill myself?#like im trying to act like an adult#im trying to get my medical shit in line and do chores more and fucking write a book so i might actually have work i can do#and i get told its not good enough#bc im not crying myself to sleep every night from pain and exhaustion after working a 12hr shift
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Yesterday was the first time in a long time hanging out with a new friend. In 13 years this is the 3rd time introducing him to a friend. It is the 3rd time a friend has expressed concern over the way he speaks to me. The 3rd time someone told me i deserved kindness. The millionth time someones asked "is he just like this?". I was embarrassed to be associated with him. How many more embarrassments can i endure?
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Literally nobody gives a shit about me the way other people do about their friends/family/partners.
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who else mourning the person they could've been if they were treated kindly as a child
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“don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years
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the ache in my chest that makes me believe i'm unwanted by everyone
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killing myself is not enough, I wish I never existed in the first place
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"you look so tired" im literally losing my mind
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