chlovershyperfixations

[chlovershyperfixations]

Me but 5 months instead of 6 hours 😂

we dont queue posts here you will know im online because a sudden wave of posts i reblogged will flood your dash and then i dissapear for 6 hours

[chlovershyperfixations]

Someone else posted about this earlier and I agree so much, I need to say this too.

No... Eddie doesn't "indulge" Buck!!

Eddie matches his energy.

Eddie actively, eagerly instigates.

Eddie... is there to slap even MORE stupidity on the table!

They are both the instigators, troublemakers. They are equals. They are in sync!

Neither one is the "mature one", just humoring the other, babysitting, indulging.

They're both rearing to go, have fun, enjoy themselves.

When Buck is sad about Chimney missing the party? Suggest taking it to Chimney?

Eddie instantly launches into planning mode, into turning a vague plan into action, suggests everyone take an Uber to the hotel.

How does Buck react? Does he hesitate?

No, Buck immediately thinks this absolutely insane suggestion is a great idea!!

Buck has no key.

Eddie wants to kick in the door!!!

Buck? Happily joins him!!

They are the chaos, together!!!

Neither one is sitting back, indulging - they are a team, a shared (admittedly not super bright) brain.

And I love it!!! They're freaking soulmates, both equally silly, dumb, energetic, into fun, ready to meet the adventure. They're two sides of the same coin, together.

[chlovershyperfixations]

Accidentally clicked on autocorrect in the middle of writing.

Bobby Shakespeare 👍

[chlovershyperfixations]

Thinking about how triggering having Gerrard as a captain is potentially going to be for Eddie. I know it’s going to be for everyone on the team. But i haven’t stopped thinking about Eddie since the finale. Especially with what he’s going through.

Eddie who grew up forced to take on responsibilities too young, because of his father. Eddie who had harmful gender roles and expectations forced onto him — you’re the man of the house. you’re the man. you’re the provider. you’re a man. you’re supposed to be strong all the time. you take care of people. people don’t take care of you. you’re a man — Eddie who grew up surrounded by women (mother, sisters, aunts, grandmother) but who still had a toxic man role model because of his father, despite his absence. That pressure was always looming over him.

Eddie who was in the military — a stereotypical macho man environment, at such a young age. Because he was only in his early twenties. Eddie who knows what it’s like to be surrounded and ordered by toxic masculinity and violence. Eddie who had to learn how to fit in, because of what was expected of him — you’re a man. you don’t cry. you’re not allowed to be weak. you’re a man. pain is weakness. shake it off. you’re a man. you’re big and strong. you have to be. you’re a man.

Eddie who spent years repressing his feelings because of his childhood and background. Eddie who bottled his emotions so much he almost self destructed because of it. Because of what he was taught, because of what he had to learn in order to survive. Eddie who’s been trying and working so hard on doing better for himself, trying to unlearn and deconstruct those beliefs, to step out of the repression.

Eddie, who despite all that, never did the same to his son, to Christopher. Eddie who taught his son it was okay to be afraid — that it wasn’t weakness. That it’s okay to cry — it’s not weakness. It’s okay to want to be loved — it’s not weakness. That he’s allowed to talk about it and be comforted. As he should, even if Eddie himself never received that comfort. Eddie who hugs his son when he’s afraid, sad, crying, anxious, in pain — because he deserves to be taken care of, because man can be taken care of as well — and it’s not weakness. Eddie who tells his son “i love you”. Eddie who refused to teach Christopher any of the harmful and painful lessons he was taught. Eddie who did so incredibly better than what he was shown — Eddie who broke the cycle, for Christopher, for himself.

Eddie who came such a long way. Only to have a new captain who embodies everything Eddie has been trying to reject and escape for years. A new captain who’s probably going to bring up so much past trauma and painful memories for Eddie. Especially with everything that’s happening to Eddie — knowing he has so much to work through in order to heal, only to have a constant reminder at work why he never did it in the first place ; because he’s a man. he’s not supposed to be weak. and pain is weakness. and struggling is weakness. you’re a man. emotions are not manly. you don’t show them. you don’t talk about them. you walk it off. you’re a man.

Eddie did everything to get out — and he went to LA where he found an accepting firehouse, with a family and love. Eddie who finally found the safety he was craving his whole life — safety to be, to feel, to express. Only to have a new captain who stands against all that. A violent and aggressive intrusion in their house, in their family, in their home. In what they all used to be able to be and feel completely comfortable and safe — until it was ripped from them.

And Eddie is at a pivotal point in his life — and the last thing he needs is to be robbed of that safety. Because he desperately needs to work through his trauma, his grief, his feelings. And he knows it — and he knows that because of everything he was taught in the past, it’s going to be hard. And there’s probably a part of him who’s clinging to those past beliefs, who wants to regress to those unhealthy mechanisms — because that’s a part of it, that’s natural, because it’s what he’s known for so long — so it’s easier, and there’s always a sense of comfort and security in it, even when it’s harmful. And now, Gerrard is there. The constant and physical representation of everything Eddie is fighting against — it’s almost a vicious and cruel temptation. And it’s probably going to be so violent and triggering for Eddie.

I know that post is centered around Eddie, but that doesn’t change the fact that this storyline is going to be harmful and triggering for everyone on the team — and potentially even viewers. I know the show is opening up a way to bring workplace issues related to general bigotry ; it’s certainly a choice. I know a lot of people in the fandom is deeply and strongly against it, and it’s perfectly understandable. My personal opinion on it is not that clear cut and is more nuanced, for now. Because it’s entirely dependent on how the writers chose to move forward with it and how they will handle it — i really hope they really commit to it and explore that theme fully and deeply, because if they don’t, if they chose to half assed it, then what even is the point of that storyline ? You can perfectly create drama for the sake of drama, but you can also make sure to do it well. And the whole Gerrard storyline is too important and meaningful to waste the potential of bringing up crucial points and conversations with shitty and lazy writing. It holds too much weight, for the story, the characters, the viewers, and the show has a responsibility to do a good job with it.

[chlovershyperfixations]

Out of everything they could have done, I'd have thought they'd make Chris call Buck. Make Chris move in with Buck. He's called Buck when Eddie's fucked up before, why his ableist grandparents now?

Unless Gavin needed a break from the show and they couldn't find a way to make him move in with Buck without showing him during scenes in Buck's place?

I know it's already been weeks since the finale, but the fact that Chris was so pissed at Eddie that he would rather go to Texas and stay with the grandparents who spent his whole life infantilizing him because of his CP and have been trying to take him away from his dad ever since his mother left is something that continues to bother me.

I honestly can't tell if it's OOC writing, a plot element to get Eddie to come out, or just something that's supposed to further develop Eddie and Buck's relationship in Season 8.

Either way, I'm still in constant pain.

[chlovershyperfixations]

every badass wife of the 118 comes with a lame detective firefighter

[chlovershyperfixations]

The reason the fake dating trope works so well for buddie is because even canonically they are both that brand of fucking stupid where they think it’d actually work

[chlovershyperfixations]

the way bobby was saying goodbye to the 118 as if he isn't going to get every single one of them knocking on his door at varying points in his day at least three times a week for the rest of his days

[chlovershyperfixations]

Okay so I know I'm a 9-1-1 blog but I'm catching up on The Rookie and all that's happening rn is:

Them: "The Pentagram Killer"

Me: "ITS A PENTACLE!"

[chlovershyperfixations]

I see someone posting about not even being mad about Eddie's cheating storyline because Eddie isn't WELL, he is lost in his grief (would link the post but I lost it, thanks ADHD brain).

I totally agree. Eddie not only lost her, she also died very tragically, suddenly, right in front of his eyes.

People keep saying he should have already moved on from her...

I feel like this fandom doesn't get how overwhelming and destroying grief can be. It has no timeline.

I once knew someone who lost her husband like this, in an accident, out of the blue.

I was a child back then when I met this widow, and she was already an old lady, but what struck me about meeting her, really made me go "woah, I never knew how deep, and devastating, and long-lasting grief can be"..?

Was this:

The accident had taken place 20 years ago when I met her. I never even met her husband. Yet, despite it having been 20 years, she still would occasionally slip into talking about her husband in the present tense. Like she kept forgetting that he was dead. She wasn't crying, or unable to run her household, nothing like that.

She just kept slipping between talking about him in the past and present tense.

Like in her reality her husband had never really died.

At first I thought, what is this, is this memory loss, some symptom of disease? I looked at my parents, my mom met my eyes and just subtly shook her head at me, like "don't react, just ignore it, we'll talk later".

We did talk later. What I learned was...

This was nothing new. This widow I'd met, she had been like this from the very start. She just shattered, the moment she learned of her husband's death. Never was able to fully accept that her husband really was gone, and not coming back.

The news had simply broken something in her, it seemed like she kept slipping between two realities.

One where she realised and understood and accepted that her husband was gone.

And another reality, stuck in the past...

A daydream world built out of memories with no pain. A reality where he was just somewhere, for a little while, and about to return home any moment, unhurt.

Grief doesn't accept schedules. It breaks people. Some get up sooner, move on faster. Others need more time. And some... Never really find their feet again.

Eddie, losing Shannon, seeing her die?!

He knew her since they were teenagers, she was his first everything. She was his friend, crush, girlfriend, wife, the mother of his child. She died young, suddenly, and he even saw her die. That's seriously traumatizing.

No wonder he is still lost and broken. He hasn't even had time to process all of this really: being a dad, working full time. Those things have kept him busy. He just fakes having moved on.

As the show hinted...

All of her stuff is still in boxes. Untouched, unpacked.

[chlovershyperfixations]

I need 911twt to realize that we’re watching the start of a relationship

They’re not going to make out like Tommy just came back from war while Eddie is next to them stealing ice from the champagne bowl

They’re also in their 30s, they’re not college frat boys that can’t act in public

The hug is more than what I did with some of my exes in public after only 2 or so dates

And if I have to read one more tweet about the shirt I will honestly scream so loud Oliver’s dogs will bark

My man is on standby, he’s not going to come wearing a crazy outfit when he may needs to change, a Henley is a lot easier to change from or to even wear under his pilote unform, a full suit is not.

Please I need you to use some critical thinking, I beg on my knees 🧎🧎🧎🧎🧎

[chlovershyperfixations]

It's the ✨ADHD✨

POV: you had 1 (ONE!!!) date with a man

[chlovershyperfixations]

AAAAAHHHHH THAT EPISODE WAS AMAZING!!!!!

[chlovershyperfixations]

Damn it, I missed the episode again, is it uploaded on any streaming sites already?? Can I has link pleaz?

[chlovershyperfixations]

I've been offline for 2 weeks, have I missed anything important in the fandom?? (Cast stuff, interviews, drama, etc)

[chlovershyperfixations]

Not to be that person that suggests Tommy is a bad guy (I absolutely love him to pieces!), but the fact that next episode is Tommy's last ep (I could be wrong?), and he wasn't in any clip of the bachelor party in the promo, could the guy standing behind Chim be Tommy?????

[chlovershyperfixations]

Tommy: Why are you following me? Buck: Because we’re dating now. Tommy: Okay… what about Eddie? Eddie: We’re a package deal. Buck: Buy one idiot, get one free.