chia-yin

[chia-yin]

I do feel like this whole self improvement culture thing can go too far where people are never happy with who they are and where they are because they’re constantly trying to be better or do better and they’re always waiting for some sort of glow up or achievement or therapy realisation that will make them feel complete but that isn’t real and life is actually in the every day

[chia-yin]

And in these next 50 years you will eat so many delicious meals, laugh so many times with so many people you love, shout and scream and sing and cry and smile so hard your face hurts. And you will see such beautiful sunsets and feel fresh cold air on your face and feel warm and safe wrapped up in your favourite winter coat.

[chia-yin]

wishing everyone a very good luck getting through january-march without killing yourself

[chia-yin]

thought a little too hard about it and now i have tears in my eyes and i feel physically ill

[chia-yin]

I have been having a hard time to fall asleep lately. My mind just won't shut up and let me rest but shockingly I don't feel tired during daytime! This is not good for my mind and body in a long term. I dunno wtf is wrong with me, it's like I'm having jetlag all this while. I'm thinking it could be the stress from job hunting. Been sending out emails and resumes but nothing really comes back. I just want some nice 8 hour sleep fr

[chia-yin]

[chia-yin]

[chia-yin]

Just gonna manifest here:

I will get a job where I can utilise my skills and technical expertise

I will get a job where the company appreciates my effort

I will get a job where my manager is understanding and kind to subordinates

I will get a job where colleagues are helpful and willing to collaborate

I will get a job at a company that put the people first

I will get a job where the compensation package is 20% more than my previous salary (RM 5k) with other benefits eg. phone allowance, car allowance etc

I will get a job with more than average annual leaves (>16 days ) that I can take to travel to places

I will a get job with international exposure aka overseas travelling for training/seminar/trial

I will get a job that is not too far from my place (distance within 10-15km)

I will get a job in December and first day starts in January

[chia-yin]

(grabs you by the shoulders) you have to make room for new experiences in your life. you have to go through the unpleasant work of leaving your comfort zone, even if just for a few minutes at a time. because if you don't, your brain will trick you into stagnation. you will start to believe that the world can barely fit you in it. but that's not true. it's the opposite way around. you can fit the whole word inside of you. your task is only this: to welcome it with open arms

[chia-yin]

20241206

Okay so now my wedding is done and still unemployed, I've been submitting resumes since the past 3 weeks+, no news came back. Like nothing. I wont deny that I kinda feel defeated and disappointed but I'm getting bored being at home with nothing much to do. I'm just gonna pray and hope for the best while getting some part-time job by helping my friend with his canele business.

[chia-yin]

get around people who talk about ideas, growth, visions, success

[chia-yin]

Start

[chia-yin]

the only way to get what you want is to be brave enough to move towards it. if there is a willingness to be momentarily uncomfortable in order to live the life that calls from your heart then fear loses much of its claim over you and your decisions

[chia-yin]

giving birth sucks tbh. not only do you and the baby you’re birthing almost die, usually you shit yourself and often you tear your taint. then you have to push an organ out of your body (placenta) and if even a little of that remains in your body, you can hemorrhage to death or develop an infection that essentially rots your body from the inside out. even if you had a relatively “easy birth”, you bleed for weeks on end. even after that stops, your body and brain is changed for the rest of your life, the pregnancy leeched minerals from your bones, that can cause osteoporosis later. minor urinary incontinence is not uncommon, brain scans of people who gave birth show permanent changes in their brain, you’re never quite the same.

I say all of this not to say giving birth is disgusting but it is a harrowing and visceral experience. society downplays how fucking awful it is and makes it out to be a ~magical~ experience but it isn’t a magical transformative experience for everyone. it can be an extremely traumatic experience for someone who wanted to carry a pregnancy to term, much more so for someone who did not want to be pregnant in the first place or someone who knows their baby won’t survive the birth. anyway, abortion is a right. pregnancy and birth aren’t just inconvenient, it’s fucking awful.

[chia-yin]

Vincent Van Gogh

[chia-yin]

Anyone who ever said the key to life is always having something to look forward to is so right . The days are so much brighter when there’s always something to look forward to

[chia-yin]

what’s meant for me will find me yes but I also have to meet it halfway and encourage it to happen so it does