cherriecech

[cherriecech]

i'm a girl but also like a wound that's never gonna heal

[cherriecech]

i am a different person than who i was last year. my hair is longer and i cry less and i am stronger. i am a different person than who i was six months ago. i am free and different and am embracing change. i am a different person than who i was a month ago. i sit in the sunlight without worry and i don’t let things stick and i look up and smile. i am a different person than who i was last week. i explore more and look at the sky and laugh more. i am a different person than who i was yesterday. i let go and breathe. i am whole.

[cherriecech]

[cherriecech]

I lost my time but I won.

Maybe this misfortune happened so I could have time to enjoy my course again, so I could invest in academic life, in health. If I had passed to next year, I would be swamped with things to do, because I see the girls who passed, they are desperate.

I think the cure is getting closer, but I realized that it doesn't come if time passes and you don't do anything. It comes when you invest in yourself, when you rescue what made you grow for yourself, not for someone else. There are also the people I live with, who have no contact with that problem that brought me to rock bottom. New people, new class, new schedules, new cycle.

End of Summer Art Print by Artem Rhads Chebokha

[cherriecech]

*

mortifying ordeal, etc. 🕊

(claire schwartz / coco mellors)

[cherriecech]

My fingertips are smelling of phosphorus, because I'm trying to find different ways to say goodbye to these painful memories.

Watching it burn slowly as I'm mesmerized by the bright orange of the embers that once burned his hands.

Grief really is like a wave.

Sometimes I'm being carried away and I don't have the strength to fight the longing, the daily lack, the feelings that once made my eyes shine and that today I remember with sadness and anxiety. At other times the wave softens and I float, that's when I can breathe the night air without wanting to die, that's when I tell myself that this pain is fleeting, when I see that something much better awaits me.

The waves come and go, until one day I manage to build my own boat and guide it in my favor, wherever I want.