chaotic0night0witch0

[chaotic0night0witch0]

just learned about a building in london that is so poorly designed it becomes a death ray that melts cars and creates a downdraft effect with wind so powerful that it knocks full grown adults to the ground

[chaotic0night0witch0]

So i’m just watching youtube, trying to chill out and whenever, when I get a Lego Movie 2 Ad for a video I was watching

do you see that timestamp at the bottom? Yeah, this is apparently 5 hours long.

And at first I was wondering, well is it the entire movie? No…this entire ad is for their newest “everything is awesome” type song. It is called “this song is gonna get stuck inside your head” and I am pretty goddamn sure it is going to repeat that one line over and over until my brain melts

So I am going to see if they really are playing it for 5 hours

[chaotic0night0witch0]

I opened Tumblr because i felt horrible after getting a bad comment. I saw this while crying. thank you op. thank you.

“You’re Not a Good Writer.”

I once received a DM comprised of just that sentence. Nothing else. No constructive criticism or any reason as to why this person clearly agreed with my own view of myself.

For someone who has never told anyone in their real life that they write anything, reading something like this from an anonymous user only solidified in my mind the fact that this person was right.

I’m not a good writer.

After an embarrassing amount of minutes passed, in which I thought about deleting every story I ever posted, I decided to delete the message instead. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean I could delete the feelings it caused or change the fact that I’m not a good writer.

Two weeks went by and I didn’t write anything, let alone post. Then I received a comment on a story I had posted three years prior, one I’d written after a death in our family. The comment read, “Thank you for sharing this heartfelt story. I really needed this. I just lost my mom and this really got me today.”

I stopped thinking about being a good writer after that. I thought instead, “what if I had deleted my stories and that one person three years later hadn’t read it that day?”

Here’s what I realized: no one is a good writer.

Good means to be approved of, but stories aren’t created from approval. They’re built from life experiences, feelings, and emotions Therefore, the impact of anyone’s story isn’t good or bad. It’s a million other things.

Heartfelt.

Sad.

Funny.

Inspiring.

Romantic.

So to all the story writers out there, hold your head up, write what is in your heart, and never doubt that there isn’t at least one person out there that needs to read your story.

So, no.

We’re not good writers, but why would we want to be?

[chaotic0night0witch0]

what is this. is this tumblr's april fools thing? if yes...? i love it.

[chaotic0night0witch0]

One more thing and I swear I'll shut up.

Being autistic is beautiful.

Being allistic (not autistic) is beautiful.

Neurodiversity is amazing.

tw: a lot of swearing

During the first day of Autism Awareness Week I've already seen so many people (specifically NTs) use the wrong words ON PURPOSE. I've seen them try to tell use those aren't the right words.

I'm so fucking sad that there are people who cannot and refuse to see that being autistic is beautiful.

Who insist that not speaking is bad, that stimming is bad, that needing support is bad.

Who think that headbanging and anger and anything harmful an autistic does is only directly related to their autistic identity.

We are autistics in an allistic world. We are GOING TO HAVE struggles. We are going to and be different. Allistics have struggles too, and yet not one of them is wishing to be anything else.

There is no way to be human. Being ND means having different ways of being and that is not bad. That is never bad.

Let us be who we are. Help us be everything we are.

We don't pity allistics who struggle. We don't say "oh, being allistic is bad, look at what it causes. We should try to fix it."

Because the way allistics exist is considered normal, and what we are as autistics isn't normal, we are deemed the ones who have it wrong, that our way of existing is a disorder and we suffer from that.

bUT. bUT we exist differently. DIFFERENTLY. Not less, not more, not anything but different.

Our brains are different and all of our traits, our struggles, everything, is just... it's who we are.

I don't want to be anything but who I am. And it took me SO long to accept that.

If I was allistic, maybe I wouldn't have meltdowns, I don't know. Meltdowns suck. They're scary. They really are.

But... fuck. I'd rather have a thousand meltdowns a day before you ever take away my identity. My existence.

[chaotic0night0witch0]

I do realize i should have taken the time to write out something more calm and coherent. I should have gathered my thoughts more and written it like a post.

But I didn't.

Not this time.

So.

There.

All my emotions about this. there you have it.

tw: a lot of swearing

During the first day of Autism Awareness Week I've already seen so many people (specifically NTs) use the wrong words ON PURPOSE. I've seen them try to tell use those aren't the right words.

I'm so fucking sad that there are people who cannot and refuse to see that being autistic is beautiful.

Who insist that not speaking is bad, that stimming is bad, that needing support is bad.

Who think that headbanging and anger and anything harmful an autistic does is only directly related to their autistic identity.

We are autistics in an allistic world. We are GOING TO HAVE struggles. We are going to and be different. Allistics have struggles too, and yet not one of them is wishing to be anything else.

There is no way to be human. Being ND means having different ways of being and that is not bad. That is never bad.

Let us be who we are. Help us be everything we are.

We don't pity allistics who struggle. We don't say "oh, being allistic is bad, look at what it causes. We should try to fix it."

Because the way allistics exist is considered normal, and what we are as autistics isn't normal, we are deemed the ones who have it wrong, that our way of existing is a disorder and we suffer from that.

bUT. bUT we exist differently. DIFFERENTLY. Not less, not more, not anything but different.

Our brains are different and all of our traits, our struggles, everything, is just... it's who we are.

I don't want to be anything but who I am. And it took me SO long to accept that.

If I was allistic, maybe I wouldn't have meltdowns, I don't know. Meltdowns suck. They're scary. They really are.

But... fuck. I'd rather have a thousand meltdowns a day before you ever take away my identity. My existence.

[chaotic0night0witch0]

And no, it is not "easier" for me to say all that because people call me high functioning.

I AM AUTISTIC. And I have every right to say all of that.

And so does every other autistic.

Yes, there are a lot of differences between me and an autistic who lives in a support home.

But why the FUCK is that autistic considered to be suffering?

Have you actually asked them that? Have you asked them if they're suffering?

And if you do ask, first ask yourself if they were ever told that they are suffering by others of influence. That what they can and cannot do makes them anything less than fucking beautiful and worthy?

tw: a lot of swearing

During the first day of Autism Awareness Week I've already seen so many people (specifically NTs) use the wrong words ON PURPOSE. I've seen them try to tell use those aren't the right words.

I'm so fucking sad that there are people who cannot and refuse to see that being autistic is beautiful.

Who insist that not speaking is bad, that stimming is bad, that needing support is bad.

Who think that headbanging and anger and anything harmful an autistic does is only directly related to their autistic identity.

We are autistics in an allistic world. We are GOING TO HAVE struggles. We are going to and be different. Allistics have struggles too, and yet not one of them is wishing to be anything else.

There is no way to be human. Being ND means having different ways of being and that is not bad. That is never bad.

Let us be who we are. Help us be everything we are.

We don't pity allistics who struggle. We don't say "oh, being allistic is bad, look at what it causes. We should try to fix it."

Because the way allistics exist is considered normal, and what we are as autistics isn't normal, we are deemed the ones who have it wrong, that our way of existing is a disorder and we suffer from that.

bUT. bUT we exist differently. DIFFERENTLY. Not less, not more, not anything but different.

Our brains are different and all of our traits, our struggles, everything, is just... it's who we are.

I don't want to be anything but who I am. And it took me SO long to accept that.

If I was allistic, maybe I wouldn't have meltdowns, I don't know. Meltdowns suck. They're scary. They really are.

But... fuck. I'd rather have a thousand meltdowns a day before you ever take away my identity. My existence.

[chaotic0night0witch0]

tw: a lot of swearing

During the first day of Autism Awareness Week I've already seen so many people (specifically NTs) use the wrong words ON PURPOSE. I've seen them try to tell use those aren't the right words.

I'm so fucking sad that there are people who cannot and refuse to see that being autistic is beautiful.

Who insist that not speaking is bad, that stimming is bad, that needing support is bad.

Who think that headbanging and anger and anything harmful an autistic does is only directly related to their autistic identity.

We are autistics in an allistic world. We are GOING TO HAVE struggles. We are going to and be different. Allistics have struggles too, and yet not one of them is wishing to be anything else.

There is no way to be human. Being ND means having different ways of being and that is not bad. That is never bad.

Let us be who we are. Help us be everything we are.

We don't pity allistics who struggle. We don't say "oh, being allistic is bad, look at what it causes. We should try to fix it."

Because the way allistics exist is considered normal, and what we are as autistics isn't normal, we are deemed the ones who have it wrong, that our way of existing is a disorder and we suffer from that.

bUT. bUT we exist differently. DIFFERENTLY. Not less, not more, not anything but different.

Our brains are different and all of our traits, our struggles, everything, is just... it's who we are.

I don't want to be anything but who I am. And it took me SO long to accept that.

If I was allistic, maybe I wouldn't have meltdowns, I don't know. Meltdowns suck. They're scary. They really are.

But... fuck. I'd rather have a thousand meltdowns a day before you ever take away my identity. My existence.

[chaotic0night0witch0]

permission to scream?

aight here i go

*clears throat*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*little cough*

thank you for listening

Aaaaaa

[chaotic0night0witch0]

you ever have that horrible moment where you don't know what you're doing in class but you're already so far into the material that if you were to ask about it the teacher would assume you've done nothing... ....

???

?

[chaotic0night0witch0]

Just ADHD stuff

*discussion about schoolwork*

me: *cries*

*discussion about friends*

me: *cries*

*discussion about going to the grocery store*

me: *cries*

*discussion about what to eat for lunch*

me: *cries*

*discussion about cats*

me: *cries*

*discussion about literally anything*

me: *cries*

[chaotic0night0witch0]

Adhd is just trying to explain a thousand times a day that while I definitely heard you and understood you my brain definitely did not store it in long term memory and I do in fact need you to tell me again

[chaotic0night0witch0]

Neurotypical actors potraying ADHD in movies:

“I like cats because they remind me of my cat, which reminds me of how she yells at doors, which reminds me of my bedroom door that’s purple, and purple is my favorite color.”

“School is bad therefore I break countless rules to retaliate.”

*has to have EVERYTHING explained to them*

“I don’t underst- Oh! Look at that thing over there!”

*not being able to focus on anything at all, ever, even on fun things*

“Omg ahaha I’m so quirky!”

ADHD in Real Life:

*gets stuck in a daydream for thirty minutes*

*apologizes for every small mishap*

*gets so distracted by thoughts that you can’t fall asleep*

*forgets to finish thing until 2 weeks later*

“I can get this essay done in twenty minutes for sure.”

After listening too intently for the whole conversation: “I didn’t retain a word you just said.”

“What’s that one word- it’s like ‘confident’ but from the other side.. Wait, never mind, it was ‘admire’.”

“I have a song stuck in my head, but I don’t know the beat or the words. It’s just there.”

“I like this thing cause it makes serotonin go brr.”

“I can’t finish this other thing because then I won’t have enough time to do anything else. I’ll just stare at the wall instead.”

[chaotic0night0witch0]

Arts and crafts are perfect for adhd folk bc there's an immediate and visual progress.

Cut fabric, sew it together. You just made clothing.

Put some beads on some twine. You just made jewelry.

You can see your productivity.

Chores are the opposite. Yes, your kitchen is clean now. But you'll cook again that evening or the next day and you'll have to start over. Yes, you vacuumed. But two days later it's dusty again. Laundry done, until next week.

Chores never end.

But arts and crafts, nobody can undo the thing you made. You can hold it up and say "look. I made this. I did the productivity today" and nothing quite beats that serotonin rush.

[chaotic0night0witch0]

Reblog if you’re bisexual, support bisexual people or are actually a bunch of tiny velociraptors in a human suit

[chaotic0night0witch0]

cgaitucnightwutch

GAME IDEA REBLOG THIS AND TRY TYPING YOUR URL EYES CLOSED

VD&diydgbyt-buh

[chaotic0night0witch0]

reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

of course not. even if april fools wasn’t my most hated holiday, bold of you to assume i know the date