chaotic-evil-frog

[chaotic-evil-frog]

My two favorite things!!!

I made this late one night after my roommate asked me what a muppet good omens crossover would look like. It still makes me laugh.

[chaotic-evil-frog]

There something so silly about me starting to get back into Christianity because of good omens. Tehe🤭

[chaotic-evil-frog]

Crowley found himself in a birdcage. That isn’t a metaphor, he was actually stuck in a F@CKING BIRDCAGE! He hated Aziraphales unintentional irony.

He had been put in here after his third attempt to jump out of the office windows.

Not cause he wanted to die or anything. K1ll1ng yourself is-it- IT’S NOT ON!

He was trying to fall. To get out of here, to- to leave, to go back to that stupid bookshop and wait for Aziraphale to come back. To sleep this whole thing off.

Crowley wanted to wait for his angel to come back to the bookshop, realize that Heaven and Hell and everyone and everything is terrible and that they were really supposed to be together all along and it’d be raining and they’d look into each others eyes and- well, Crowley wouldn’t say no to an apology dance. or a kiss…

But no, Crowley was an Angel. Crowley was in heaven. Crowley, was in a birdcage. And Aziraphale kept visiting him.

Aziraphale couldn’t imagine why Crowley was so upset. He was in heaven. He was an Angel! And more importantly, they were together!

This was the only Aziraphale had wanted, for them to be together, in heaven, like the old time but only even NICER!!!

Aziraphale just wanted Crowley to be happy. Heaven is a happy place. Why isn’t he happy?

Aziraphale didn’t want to put him in a cage but he kept jumping out of the windows, he didn’t want to lose Crowley for a second time.

He could keep him in a room but a windowless room seemed cruel, and how would he see him? So a cage seemed to be the solution, Aziraphale made sure it was the nicest cage he could make. He even put some books in there!!! And a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, but let’s not focus on that part.

Crowley kept destroying the whole thing. He thrashed the bed, broke the bedside table and the coffee table. He even found a way to push all the books out of the reach of the cage.

So Aziraphale took a daily trip to Crowley’s room. (He liked to call it his room, it was better than ‘cage’ because Crowley wasn’t trapped here! He just needed some time to understand it was actually nice here!)

This time he was even giving Crowley a gift! He was giving him a plant! So Aziraphale made his way through the halls of heaven. Some angels looked at the plant weird, some looked at him in awe, but all of them made room.

He had decided that doors were a necessary change for Heaven, so he had gotten every (major) office four walls, some windows, and a door!

He totally didn’t do it so only he could see Crowley, and he certainly didn’t miracle the windows so that you couldn’t see Crowley or the cage when looking in them.

But nevertheless he pushed open the doors and walked to the cage.

Crowley threw the bottle of wine. He was angry, he didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want this cage, he didn’t want Aziraphale.

Not in this way anyways.

Aziraphale sighed and miracles away any stains on his suit. He had put his old suit into storage and had replaced it with a monotone white suit, so pesky dealing with stains.

“I can see you’re still annoyed with me…”

Crowley stares at him, furry burns in his new brown eyes.

“I brought you something!” Aziraphale similes. “It’s a plant! I know you were quite fond of them!”

Another beat passes

Then another

And then another.

“I don’t get why you’re so annoyed with me, I did this for you, I joined them for you!”

A fourth beat.

“I’ll leave the plant by the bars.”

Aziraphale stood there for a second before he turned around and began his quick exit from his office.

“We’ll I’m going to need a mister…”

That was the first thing Crowley had said to him since he’d become an Angel, SO HE WASN’T TOTALLY MADE AT HIM!

“That can be arranged” Aziraphale smiled and left his office.

Crowley reached through the bars and grabbed the plant and brought it to his lap next to the broken bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape. Crowley really should have taken a swig before he threw it. Too late now…

“I really shouldn’t have said anything should I?” He asks the plant. As If it could respond. Too bad really, he wished plants could talk.

(This is pt2 of the last writing post)

[chaotic-evil-frog]

GOOD OMENS FANS WHO CAN DRAW COMICS AND STUFF! please I am begging anyone to draw a comic of archangel Azi forcing Crowley into an Angel.

Like Crowley would be very distraught and sad, he’d take a walk in the park and then stop at the ice cream man and order a vanilla flake, he’d begin to ask for a strawberry popsicle but then hesitate and just ask for the vanilla flake. Once he gets his ice cream he’d begin to leave but then he’d be kidnapped by angels (this is all very similar to s1 ep6)

Once he arrives in heaven he’d be like, “oh great another 3xecut1on, you really wana try this again?” He’d be surrounded by the other archangels but Azi would be mysteriously missing…? Then Crowley would struggle in the white rope chair.

“Oh not quite soo Crowley” Then moving past the archangels comes Aziraphale comes through and smiles down at Crowley.

“Angel? What are you doing? What is this?” He’d say in a rushed panic that wasn’t present before.

“Oh Crowley, wait an see…” he’d keep his kind smile however something dark and twisted lies beneath it, you’d compare it to a demon however it was far to *holy* for that.

“Aziraphale! What are you doing!” Crowley shouts but to no avail.

The Angel just hums some song Crowley couldn’t place.

“AZIRAPHALE!”

“Oh Crowley, *insert some poetic line about how much Aziraphale loves Crowley, and forgave him for leaving, like: ‘we’ve been together in every century, why brake that streak right before eternity’ or ‘I said I forgave you, but I will never forget about you’ or something way more poetic I can’t think off•

“Aziraphale, I DONT WANT THIS! I don’t want heaven!-“

“But you fell so long ago, you can’t remember how good heaven was!”

“ANGEL LISTEN TO ME!”

“Oh but I remember, I remember it all, I can still see your smile after creating that nebula…”

“What…?”

“Oh I can’t recall a time you were that happy, ever.”

“ Oh and I remember your tip about the suggestion box! Now that I’m in charge I can put up a suggestion box if you’d like!”

Crowley is in pure shock, it’s more of an open ended look where you can’t quite tell what he’s thinking.

“Oh and once you join us I’ll put you right back on star creation!”

Aziraphale looks all too pleased with himself,

“Please tell me you want this! Please tell me you’ll join me!” Aziraphale begs Crowley.

There’s a beat of silence before Crowley raises his head to face the angel.

“No,”

“What?”

“No, I’ll never join heaven again.”

“Bu-But Crowley! It’s me! I’m Heaven! This is all my plan!”

“You aren’t heaven, Angel, you’re just a pawn in some almighty’s ineffable plan”

“Well fine then, if you can’t see eye to eye with me then that’s that.”

Crowley sighs thinking this is over.

“Start the reinstatement.” Aziraphale says as he turns away from Crowley

“WHAT! Angel no. NO, AZIRAPHALE, STOP IT!”

He screams in anguish as his wings are forced out, only for them to start withering and decaying alongside his body, his skin seems to be flaking off, revealing something new underneath.

As the last feather falls off his raven wings he sighs. Believe in Thai to be over but he feels something, something beneath his skin. Then he shrieks as two stark white wings ripe out of his back and tear their way through his body.

He’s in such pain he hasn’t even noticed that his entire form has been remade. His skin now as smooth as a cherub, his once snakeish eyes now a kind doe brown, and his clothes, his stylish sleek black ensemble now traded out for a white ride, not even his snake skin boots remained.

The only thing remotely similar to his demonic self was his hair, still a firey red. He was freed from the chair, well not so much freed as the chair vanished beneath him.

He fell to the floor, flapping his sore new wings.

He looks as Aziraphale kneels down to her level, “ Ah, there we are angel!” Aziraphale muttered as he grabbed Crowley’s face in between his hands.

“Welcome back!” And with that Crowley was left alone on the floor heavens office, surrounded in blood. Such a nice way to get over a breakup

[chaotic-evil-frog]

Hey colwn side of tumblr does anyone know what breed of clown this little gal is? She was hanging out in my backyard, she’s about 1.5 feet tall with pink fluffy ruffles and a jesters hat.