changingthingslikeleaves

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Buck keeps busy. He helps Eddie pack the house. The landlord in El Paso covers utilities, but he changes the billing address on Eddie’s NFL+ and MLB.TV subscriptions, reminds Eddie that the password to Buck’s Disney Plus account is in the email that Buck sent him the day after he signed up for it. He calls movers and gets quotes, finds Eddie a place to do the 60,000-mile service on his truck, maps the three closest grocery stores to his new house like Eddie didn’t spend the first eighteen years of his life in El Paso and is incapable of feeding himself.

It's what Buck does. He has to be useful, anticipate what Eddie needs, because that’s all he can do right now. Of course Eddie has to go, no matter what, because of course Christopher is the most important thing.

Keeping busy gets him through it all, from that first house viewing on Eddie’s couch to the last piece of tape on the last box. He doesn’t see Eddie off when he hits the road at 10 A.M. on a Saturday, because it’s hard enough saying goodbye at 8 A.M, when Eddie leaves after spending the night at Buck’s loft, his own bed packed into a U-Haul trailer attached to his truck’s towing hitch. Eddie’s got a couple final errands in town and then he’s getting on the 10 headed east.

And when Eddie’s gone, he finds stuff to do around his loft. He could go over to Maddie’s and help her sort through Jee’s old clothes and toys to figure out what she can use for the new baby, but it’s a better idea to stay home, at least this first day, to hide his red eyes. He rearranges his pantry, goes through his spices and throws out anything over two years old, moves his bed and nightstand to dust behind them.

Somehow he finds enough to occupy him the whole day, with occasional breaks to watch the most brainless documentaries he can find on Netflix. At midnight he falls into bed, hoping he’s done enough manual labor to exhaust himself and quickly drop off to sleep. At 12:03, his phone pings with a text.

9342

He stares at it a second, trying to parse why Eddie is sending him a random string of numbers.

everything ok????

this house has an electronic door lock that’s the code to get in. i guess it saves me from having to mail you a key

Buck’s surprised how much it hurts, the pain of Eddie being eight hundred miles away and yet right next to him, connected by cell phone towers and a bond that won’t break, no matter how much it’s stretched.

*

Eddie can’t be late on his second day of work. He should have had plenty of time, but when Christopher had called—actually called, on his phone—he’d dropped everything to have a conversation with his kid before his school day. By the time they’d made plans to meet up on Eddie’s next day off, his cereal had gone soggy and his coffee had cooled. He hasn’t stocked up on protein bars or shakes yet, so he’ll have to wait for whatever is available at the station.

As soon as he pulls the front door shut behind him, patting his pockets to make sure he has everything, he realizes that his phone is still in the house. The house, protected by the electronic lock, with the code carefully saved on his phone.

“Shit, code, what’s the goddamn code,” Eddie mutters. Four digits, can’t be that hard. After a few more days it will be worked into his muscle memory, but he’s only used it three times so far. 9234? No luck. 9423? Still no. At this rate he really is going to be late for work, and he reaches for his phone to call his captain, but the phone is still inside the house and the door is still locked.

“9342.”

Eddie starts in surprise. It’s not the voice of a helpful neighbor, or his landlord arriving in the nick of time, or even a divine intervention to help him get to work on time. He knows that voice, even before he turns around to see Buck, leaning against the side of his Jeep, legs outstretched and arms folded like the hero of a teenage rom-com. The captain of the football team, waiting outside the auditorium to surprise the gawky girl with the lead in the school play.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Buck unfolds his arms and walks toward him, his long legs closing the distance in five quick strides. “You sent me the code. I had to make sure it worked.”

He leans past Eddie and punches the numbers in the lock, which clunks satisfyingly open. Buck doesn’t move, his chest brushing against Eddie’s, his mouth a breath away.

“Good thing you did,” Eddie says, not even listening to the words as they come out. How can he pay attention to anything else when Buck is here, right in front of him, right where he’s supposed to be?

“You should probably write it down.” Buck moves somehow closer, and his hands settle on Eddie’s hips. “In case you ever lock your phone inside again.”

“I don’t think I’m gonna be here very long,” Eddie says, closing that final inch between them in a kiss that’s sweet for a second before Buck sighs and opens his mouth, and Eddie is officially late to work, and he doesn’t care.

and well in a world where eddie does end up getting a rental in el paso for a little bit; buck is receiving a text from eddie the first night he’s gone that just inexplicably contains 4 random digits and nothing else. he is instantly replying: everything ok???? to which eddie responds with: this house has an electronic door lock 😐 that’s the code to get in. oh well. i guess it saves me from having to mail you a key. and buck has to actively rub at his chest to comfort himself over the fact that the only person he has ever felt so emotionally and intimately close to is now so physically far away.

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Would you press the button if:

Your FAVORITE ship becomes cannon and going forward the franchise will always have whoever they are will get together in the end.

BUT

40% of all online discussion for the franchise will be about how much the user HATES the ship.

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Doesn't look like you're dealing with any kind of Einstein here. No, I suppose not. — JUSTIFIED, SEASON FIVE, EPISODE TEN, "WEIGHT"

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Yay! Much appreciated. It's been a hell of a year, and I hope the next one is somehow, in some way, easier on us all.

@changingthingslikeleaves

Someone sent you a gift! I wonder what it is…

Surprise! You’ve been nice this year, so you deserve Old Saint Buck's Hot Chocolate !

Have a joyful December and a Happy New Year!

Enjoy and happy holidays! We hope your new year is full of joy~

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I don’t know.Maybe.Probably.But noone will ever fight for my son as hard as you.That is what I want for him.

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things i love about heartstopper 1/?

I fucking love the way Nick doesn't get defensive about his feelings for Charlie. This is huge for a boy in this kind of culture, especially Nick who until this point has been repressing so much of himself in order to fit in with “normal” guys.

We see what can happen with Ben. He resents Charlie for making him feel this way. He hates himself and he can’t deal with it, he doesn’t know how to handle it, and he punishes Charlie for it.

But Nick goes the opposite way. He's scared, he runs away, he makes mistakes, but he always knows those are his fears and not Charlie's fault. He keeps trying to do better, to do right by Charlie. He keeps being friends with Charlie even after he realises he likes him. He learns to stand up to his friends and challenge their behaviour, not only because he cares about Charlie, but he also learns from him. He learns that he’s been wrong to accept that behaviour and he needs to do better. He changes his own behaviour because he cares about Charlie and because he wants to be better for himself.

I think it's also a really important part of Nick’s story that he’s not just learning and growing for Charlie, he’s doing it for himself too. He’s becoming a person he wants to be and can be proud of. Yes, Charlie’s a huge part of that. He helped Nick realise all the things he was accepting that he shouldn’t, partly because Nick had to face a lot of it as a result of realising he was bi, partly cos Charlie's so different from the rugby lads and offers an alternative way to be in the world. But even though he is doing it for Charlie a lot of the time, Nick is also becoming a better person because it’s who he wants to be for himself.

I think that’s partly why it’s so important for Nick to say “I love liking you”. It's important for Charlie to hear, yes. But it's also super important for Nick to say for himself. It’s so opposite to Ben, who hated himself for liking Charlie and hated Charlie for it too. Even though it was hard for Nick, he never saw it as a bad thing. Yeah, it was hard. And he struggled. But it was worth it to him. It’s so fucking important.

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to nail and screw and drive; to take apart

i’m a fan of pits… so i wanted to draw something where both buck and eddie’s pits were out and this is what i landed on

this is so unapologetically self-indulgent, but i hope you all find as much joy out of this as i do

tried starting from grayscale before turning it into color, and that was definitely an interesting process to say the least

also, i ended up putting clothes on them purely to bypass nudity content warnings and having to draw buck’s tattoos (even though i had drawn buck’s entire torso already)

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none of my moots have TikTok so I’m posting this here

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9-1-1 s07e01 - Abandonships

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Hey, Writers! Hype yourselves up!

If you see this post you are hereby obligated to tell me in the replies and/or tags what you believe your strengths as a writer are! Go off! For this post, we’re tossing that imposter syndrome in the bin!

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Thinking about the episode of Daredevil where Foggy finds out and how it's just one of the best superhero identity reveals ever portrayed.

So often it's handled as a quick thing - a shock either quickly overcome or dramatically reacted to (I'm gonna run off and become a supervillain to spite you!) or confirmation of something long suspected.

With this it's just so messy and raw and tangled and complicated. Foggy's friendship with Matt is one he's built his business on, and in which his identity and history is intimately entangled. He's watching one of the core pillars of his life crumble and he's left crawling among the wreckage, being forced to reexamine each and every individual brick to see if it's something he can rebuild with.

And Matt is so blinkered in that moment he just... Doesn't get it. He's in physical and emotional pain and he's terrified of losing his friend but he also fundamentally doesn't understand why this is so seismic. He thinks Foggy can simply... Let it not be.

It's so painful and love-filled and wrenching. And both actors kill it.

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Lady Gaga is looking ✨fine✨

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🎶 that kind of music just soothes the soul 🎶

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Dunnottar Castle, Stonehaven, Aberdeenshire, Scotland

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undress, ye hairy gentlemen

this calendar is gay

each month shall feature one of you

undressed and on display

full frontal shots in march and june

a threesome shoot in may

oh, tidings of comfort and boy

comfort and boy

ohh, tidings of comfort and boy

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Evan "Buck" Buckley as Nurse #1 Hotshots