vent acct for someone who is severely mentally ill so this'll be fun
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43K
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28K
Reblog Per Post
16K
Reply Per Post
26
Time Between Posts
4 days ago
Number of Posts By Type
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17
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i have been blendy as hell and im so exhausted
#.txt#i just want to be one consciousness#and one person#with one train of thought#and opinions that stay the same#or at least don’t change day to day because we switched#and its so hard to tell when we switch now#cause we don’t lose much memory#but we’re also missing a lot from the days lately#like i know the gist of what we did today#but idk details#i wasn’t there
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im so exhausted but also im doing things that make me happy but i just want to make art but my hands feel frozen and im scared of starting the shop and im not ready but ill never be ready but AAAA
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having my reputation be the disordered friend who’s a bitch to everyone because i don’t stand for people mistreating my friends sure is something
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life feels like its moving too fast everything is too fast everything is BAD
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i hate that i’ve been sick because i don’t even want to be touched but FUCK i want to feel wanted
#.txt#why is it always me asking#why is it alwme bringing it up#why why why#what the fuck am i doing wrong
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im so fucking tired man. im so fucking tired of being alive and im dreading every day always forever
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today is a day of oh my god i am so tired of being autistic can i please just relax PLEASE
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it has been truly hitting me how off i am and how visibly disabled i am and how. ill i am. im trying so hard. im 25 it was supposed to be easier by now.
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words cannot describe the disgust i feel towards myself almost all the time
#.txt#i hate having needs or wants#i hate asking for things#i hate wanting anything#i hate wanting attention#i hate having to beg
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i feel so fucking ignored and lonely
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i am so fucking anxious and scared all the god damn time and at this point its the main reason my suicidal thoughts come back
#.txt#i cant even sleep because my wife keeps twitching#and it keeps waking me up#and i heard a door and it’s probably the neighbors#yt my brain is convinced it’s someone who came in the back door#im so fucking tired
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its fine im probably just close to my period and overreacting like i always do
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i really wish i was desirable i really wish they were obsessed with me i wish they wanted me like i want them all the time i wish they thought about it without me having to prompt it all the time
#it drives me nuts#that if i dont prompt it#they hardly touch me for months#like at all#why am i so fucking repulsive#.txt
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