catselegantcarnival

[catselegantcarnival]

A rant and inside peek of my reality

Making this post is dangerous because of my circumstances, but I know more than some of you think I do. Not only that, I need to warn people who about to get in said circumstances I've mentioned. Being an entertainer with limited people to talk to, be a safe space for you, and support you really is dangerous. Being a content creator is really the only job some of us can do well, but getting flooded with people who don't respect you, really normalizes how much you barely deserve said respect and solidifies a stronger sense of how "horrible" or "disgusting" you are. Even some of the people close to me have lied to me and manipulated me. Some of the people I've considered friends, enjoyed making fun of me or talking about me behind my back. Making up rumours about me, mocking my existence, making fake profiles with my face on them to make people think it's me, and telling me directly how gross and useless I am. Which to be fair, I'm aware I'm not attractive. I never say I am. I'm aware that I'm fat and ugly. Even my voice gets a mix of people who pity me, and people who hate it. I'm aware nothing about me is wanted, but that doesn't mean I want to see/hear it all the time. It's the concept of "Just because they're _____, doesn't mean you need to tell them. They already know." I know that's what some of "you" are after. "You" want me to suffer. Ironically, I'm suffering, but mostly for reasons outside of those. I'm suffering because I'm really lonely and every day feels like a repeat of "I'm not good enough to do any of the things I've been putting effort into." I've been streaming for over 5 years now, and I have a crappy refurbished laptop, a second hand mic, an aux cord that barely functions, and severe depression. I'm not fun and my content is mid at best. It is however the only thing I'm slightly good at. Which truly does tell you how mid I am. I do drag, I have been a voice actor for over 10 years, and I've even done adult content. I'm not good at any of it. I'm the best at streaming, and even that is a struggle. It's so lonely being this random guy who no one knows, no one likes, and having truly no value to anyone outside of how attractive I could be if I wasn't fat, awkward, and ugly. I want more friends, but people are shallow, and disrespectful towards me. I have a few friends, but because I'm aware that over 70% of my audience secretly dislikes me, I don't know what I should or shouldn't do/say to the people who say they like me. They could be lying. Someone already was lying to me. Someone pretended to be my friend, doxed me, didn't respect my boundaries even after over a year of telling them what I didn't like, and shamed me to their friends which made one of them write me and tell me to apologize for stating said boundaries. They kept pretending to be my friend so they could get close to me. While I don't really know their motives, I know they wanted to have sex with me, as that was their main objective for around 4 months after meting me for the first time. They even had the audacity to assume I made a post about how I loved them when I didn't say anything that implied it was about them. It was about a guy I've actually been friends with. Don't fall into my position. Don't be a content creator before you have friends that care about you. You'll never know someone's motives after you get even slightly popular. You're going to die anyways at some point in your life, so don't ruin that life just yet. Don't go into the ER because you tried so hard to be what someone else wanted and it literally started killing you. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Even being a faceless creator, means people will harass you, dox you, and threaten to hurt you and your family on a regular basis. Please, don't do what I did. Don't be a content creator if you have no one to support the real you outside of your content. Get help, and stay safe. This might be the only warning you ever see from someone who actually has these experiences so please take it seriously.

[catselegantcarnival]

It actually happened! I was told by Sophie that she was confused by Mocha's account no longer being active, and she told me she wanted permission to make a CEC fan page. XD I love this. Thanks Sophie! Wait... DOES THAT SAY RIOT? Oh goodness... Hahaha. Well, let's see how long it takes for me to cringe.

~Welcome To The OFFICIAL CEC Fan Page!~

The original fan page wasn't even meant to be a fan page and it was hosted by the ever controversial man himself @justathrowawayheehee. That being said I, CEC's second assistant and head editor for CEC, Sophie Nightmares will be leading one that shall not be taken down as I don't post weird content on a side blog. :) Now for the actual post, why I made this. CEC is a memeable man with loads of weird accounts for silly horny people. How can we keep track of what he's posting and where? No fear! For I, Sophie Nightmares, dedicate this entire blog to EVERY form of CEC content. Maincoon Carnival, @stalkersdiary, @catselegantcarnival, and @mxsterrose on Tumblr and Chaturbate. This blog will be used by the following people! MochaHeeheeTVVT R!0T-H (assistant) Maxillion Regal Myself, Sophie Nightmares, Cat's Elegant Carnival And whoever else wishes to post! I imagine many of you will still have questions like, Why did you make a fanpage about your boss? Why didn't you tag that one audio "hard vore" instead of "cannibalism"? Where did Mocha go? What crimes did he commit THIS TIME? When are we getting to see R!0T's face and why does he always have a mask on anyway?

Those are all indeed questions. ... Anyways thank you for stopping by and I will do my best to replace the hole in your heart with more CEC related content. ^^ Visit his linktree here : https://linktr.ee/catselegantcarnival

and thank you for stopping by! - Sophie Nightmares

[catselegantcarnival]

~5 years of Streaming~

It's my 5th year being a streamer and I have moved past a lot of my anxiety with talking to people. Sure. I'm not perfect, but I'm a heck of a lot better at it. Thank you all for following me, and helping me achieve this silly little goal I've dreamed of. (In case anyone was worried, I'm not stopping streaming, I'm just really excited to announce my 5 year anniversary and progress.)

[catselegantcarnival]

I just came from your stream where you mentioned an alt tumblr. What is it and what kind of content is on there? Is it cool if I follow?

Hey! Well, I do have a side blog but I'm not sharing it on here. I don't mind telling you what my main account is, but I'm not going to be telling anyone what my side blog is as Cat. Here's a few answers though. My alt blog is kind of a diary or sorts. Just a place for me to put my thoughts and feelings. A vent blog maybe? Not sure how to word it but, that. If you wanna follow it, good luck finding it. A few have found it from Mocha leaking it on the discord server but just in case you haven't seen that, I won't go into it. XD (If you write my side blog, I will respond honestly and say it's me. Let's see what happens.) I hope you have a lovely day, thanks for writing. ^^

[catselegantcarnival]

I'm not even going to lie, I just like this picture of me. I'm posting it because I wanna keep track of days where I feel pleasant and I don't feel like I look like trash. At some point in the near future, a picture of me is going to be posted on a friend's account. I'm nervous. I know he wouldn't post a bad picture of me. I'm just... Nervous.

I already hate my voice as it is, I need to not hate my body or face as well. I hope at some point, I can appreciate myself a bit more. In the mean time, I am reminding myself that being attractive or unattractive doesn't mean I'm worth less than anyone else. My appearance is for me. Not for some random person online. I get to make it how I want and when I want. TLDR, you are more than a picture of you ever will be and at the end of the day, you being content with your own body is what matters.

[catselegantcarnival]

~Introduction + About Me~

Hello Tumblr. Maincoon/CEC [He/They] | 23 | Intersex Punk Drag Clown | I'm Maincoon, Your Least Favourite Streamer. I'm the actual person behind the different characters I play as. I've been an actor + voice actor for 10+ years (Hentai too), a Drag artist for 3+ years, and I'm a streamer on multiple platforms. I'm a known cannibal, who likes to spend his nights alone with the noise machine on, giggling and playing with the reverb effect, while sipping away at my slushie. I'm a well tolerated Vtuber on the deepweb, and now finally on the surface web. (No, I don't mean deepweb like you NEED Tor, but like deepweb as in password protected, can't be found on Google, and has a lot of freaky people.) I haven't scared you off yet? Perfect. Here's a few fun facts about me. ^^ ◌ My birthday is in April. ◌ My favourite colour is Red. ◌ My favourite animal is Jellyfish. ◌ My favourite season is autumn. ◌ My favourite weather is rain. I love grey skies and the sound of rain falling. ◌ I am an Age Regressor (Making a side blog for that.) ◌ I smoke weed + hemp to help with my social anxiety and depression. ◌ I'm LGBTQ+. I'm Transmasc, Intersex, Asexual, a Drag artist, and in general just super queer. Like, there's more but I am REALLY QUEER. ◌ My nationality is American, my ethnic background is Korean, and I'm Multiracial. Basically, I'm a mess. Explains my face though.

I have no current plans for this blog but maybe if I'm lucky I'll make a few friends or collab partners. ^^ Thank you for reading my little intro, and I hope to see you soon. ^^

~Where to find me~

I may update this once in a while to keep it relevant. Also here's my side blogs in case you're curious. @diabeticguidetolife - Diabetes related stuff. @stalkersdiary - I'm mentally unstable. Shocking, I know. @victimsdiary - An "ARG" styled blog that was started by JustAMochaVT that I now own. @mxsterrose - A blog that may never have posts, but it's my name on adult sites.

[catselegantcarnival]

Don't ask how I found this. Just know this is accurate.

i could fix him… but im going to give him a weird fetish instead

[catselegantcarnival]

Just here to remind you.

If you're following any of my accounts, they are LGBTQ AS FRICC. If you wanna follow me, I'm transmasc and Intersex. I was BORN queer and I don't want randos finding me from my alt accounts freaking out because I happen to be kinda gay. I like guys. I kiss men. I kiss nonbinary people. I have kissed women but really like as friends- BUT I REALLY LIKE GUYS. I'm pretty gay.

If you find me attractive, that's kinda gay. If you want to suck my peen, that's kinda gay. If you buy my Patreon- that might not be gay but it isn't straight I can tell you that.

I encourage it. ENHANCE the gay thoughts.

But for real, I'm gonna do an intro post somewhat soon and I'm going to be posting more regularly since I'm posting on my alt account a lot more than I planned and now I gotta post here too. Hahaha

[catselegantcarnival]

remember, with "hole"some content, make sure to use lube.

A-Ayo? Which flavour!

[catselegantcarnival]

only "hole"some content here.

Absolutely. *glances at the mysterious hole in the ground*

[catselegantcarnival]

absorb cringe, spread cringe, all must become cringe.

UwU Become cwinge. It is your time! 0w0

[catselegantcarnival]

So hypothetically would you prefer bulgogi kimbap for every meal ever or shrimp tempura with spicy mayo and soy sauce for every other meal?

You have to use someone as a plate for each one~

Bulgogi kimbap all the way. As someone who grew up on Korean food, I have become obsessed. XD