canyoufiliit-blog - Tumblr blog

[canyoufiliit-blog]

make me choose → anon asked: Jotunheim or Mordor

[canyoufiliit-blog]

Send “RIP” to hear what my muse would say at your muse’s grave

[canyoufiliit-blog]

Send me a '★' and I will tell you how my character feels about yours.

[canyoufiliit-blog]

     “....My uncle has passed,” a beat. “So my mother was in mourning as was Kili, and I needed to stay strong for them, I’m the next in line and,” Fili’s brows slowly furrowed at those words -- how they felt in his mouth. “I do not know what to do.”

canyoufiliit

"You���ve been away a long time… Is everything all right with your family?"

[canyoufiliit-blog]

 ◎     Fili was terrified. Terrified of the city, despite already having lived there for nearly a year; terrified of his future, despite having a pretty good job as he finished up his degree in the morning; and terrified of his feelings towards the raven. It was suffocating him, telling him that despite how close they have gotten there were a handful of stories just like this that never ended well. At this point, Fili considered them brothers -- but he allowed himself to slowly diverge and develop the roaring emotions without so much as a second thought. 

     He always knew they’d be at each other’s sides. They hardly fought and when they did fight, it was over something so petty and a make-up would be initiated shortly after. They were each other’s half -- the support that the other needed at the end of the day. 

    And it had been Kasha that finally woke up the feelings Fili had towards Kili. When he doubted that he would never feel so strongly, he could vividly recall Kasha screaming at him as she climbed out of his truck. “Why don’t you just make your best friend your girlfriend then? You two were made for each other! Just a buncha cock suckers, you all are,” she had bellowed in anguish just because Fili had mentioned skipping town with Kili for a week or two on a trip thereby missing his and Kasha’s year anniversary. 

     Fili’s brows creased at the squeeze in his hand. His fingers fell limp -- lifeless and cold within his best friend’s grasp. He conjured up a smile and forced it through the gritting pain that bit him right in the core at the mention of meeting the special girl. He turned his head away for a moment, staring deeply into the small TV set they bought from a pawn shop shortly after moving in. 

   “Yeah!” he finally chimed, rising to his elbows with a grin. He had gotten better at it -- hiding his sore behavior. He prayed to whatever God there was that at least once, Kili wouldn’t see through his game. All Fili needed was a little more time. More time to get over himself and over his internal crisis. “We can go out for lunch and maybe hit up that karaoke bar that just opened up. She looks like she could dabble in music, eh? I’ll even buy us a small lil karaoke room for personal sessions. My treat.”

The advice is absolutely appreciated and Kili hangs on to every word as he thinks. It was a rare event for the younger man to actually consider emotions for meanings beyond just feeling them, and he still struggled to do so even when he wanted. Like now, for example.

He picks up on Fili’s change of mood though, realising his inquiries had dragged down their normally very light attitudes. Kili normally wasn’t one to bring up serious anything, but this subject really bothered him. It had for quite some time if he was perfectly honest.

But it sounded like them.

Which was absolutely ridiculous, obviously. Sure, they were attached at the hip since before Kili could walk, but that wasn’t the same thing. Right? That was his mind being weird because he needed support in what to do. Same as he always had when he asked Fili for help, and the leap of thought sank back to be dealt with later.

"Think there would have to be at least a little crazy going on to stay around me," he noted, offering a slight smile in an effort to lighten the mood again. "You’re nuts for it, Fi. I suppose that means I am too, for sticking by you," Kili teased, squeezing the blond’s hand lightly in his own and relaxing again. Nothing seemed to be too scary for very long whenever he asked for advice, which happened more often than one would assume.

"I still want you to meet her. I mean really meet her, Fili. Getting along with you is a must, because I’m not letting you out of my life anytime soon," he said softly, not something he had pushed much on yet. But if they were going to think about getting serious, then he needed to know what it’d be like with her around Fili before deciding with any finality about what he would do.

[canyoufiliit-blog]

  ◎     Fili thought back to his few flings and the one fling that drew on. Kasha still managed to rock his world in the guiltiest ways -- and there had been times where he thought about her as he washed the dishes or watched couples come in and out of the bar. He felt as if he were soiled at the mere thought that she was still around -- somewhere -- and probably with a new guy. Kasha was still bad news, nonetheless, and he made an agreement that mentioning her was practically forbidden. At this point, she was supposed to be a blur in the back of his mind. 

     But she haunted him just as much as Kili did. 

     "You'll know when you may seem to be fed up with her, but you still ache to call her and see how she is. You'll know she's the one when you can sit there for hours and not have to say a word in order to feel happy. You'll know when her smile is something you always want to see more of and when she's upset, you're fine because you know you're probably the only one who knows how to make her feel better," Fili crinkled his nose and then turned his head to peer up at the ceiling with narrowed eyes. "Maybe I've just watched too many TV shows made for girls. Scandal was shit," he laughed, his smile aching on his lips. The ironic thing is that he felt that way in the position he was. He linked every sentence to the one who sat there beneath him and it almost burned a constant reminder into him that whatever it was between him and Kili would never exist. What little existence it did have was evident in his mind as he did their laundry or cooked. Fili felt nothing more than pathetic. 

    What idiot falls for their pretty much heterosexual best friend?

    "But in the end, it's like... even when you break up it shouldn't be treated like a break up? The art of the relationship is basically having it be a friendship but with more intimacy. Subtract the intimacy and that's it. If she has a huge problem with the end of a relationship, then it would have never worked out anyway and you're better off without. I think the ideal question is: is she fucking crazy or does she have common sense?" 

The smile’s back at Fili’s assurances, and his gaze falls to the man beside him, only too easily absorbing the support for his pursuit of a relationship. Kili really wanted to come home with a good girl, someone to please his mom with and be happy being around, but if every kiss was going to be so…dull, as it were, he wasn’t sure that would ever happen. The smile stays up anyway, not about to give away such insecure thoughts.

"You seem to be doing fine without a girlfriend, Fi," he noted lightly, fingers brushing through golden locks as absent habit, a seeking of contact comfort in his moment of weak esteem. He sobers again as Fili does though, his expression falling neutral as his friend’s chuckling trails off suddenly. As if they both had a feeling about the world around them, even if not consciously aware of it.

Kili set his free hand over Fili’s on his chest, considering the assurances he was given and the usual teasing that accompanied the words and searching inwardly for real answers. Support was nice, it always would be for him, but he needed to know why he was reacting the way he did. “How do you suppose I’ll know, though? I don’t want to do something and lose a friend in the process, want to make sure I’m doing right by our relationship.” Fili was always the better man for it too, having almost never lingered in a relationship for too long, or declining one when he thought it would not end well. Fili knew how to keep friends after dating someone; Kili had never found himself needing to try before, and therefore didn’t ever really care when the relationship eventually fell apart for whatever reasons.

[canyoufiliit-blog]

   ◎     As Fili lay sprawled upon the couch, he tucked an arm beneath his blond locks. A snort left him as he watched the other's head descend to the top of the couch and let it rest there. He squeezed his knee in an idle manner once more as his chin tucked lightly into his own chest. 

     It was no surprise that she made the first move. The girl was a real go-getter and often seemed to be the direct type. If she liked something then she would make it obvious and that made it appear to work. Fili rubbed his calloused fingers lightly against his morning stumble and licked his lips before replying, "I mean, I don't blame her. These days, it seems like everyone is in a relationship so it's best to stake claim now, yeah?" 

    But the mood made a noticeable shift at Kili's flow of words. The hesitation was easy to pick up from Fili's end. Even if Kili didn't falter verbally, he would've noticed the light tick of nerves flash across his best friend's face. While he wanted to interrupt and assure him of all the things that Fili secretly opposed due to his own selfish needs, he bit his tongue and continued to listen. When the air was clean to slip in his own piece of mind, Fili slipped into his figurative foot hold. He rolled more on to his side, the front of his body now directed towards the raven. "I mean, firsts aren't always great. You guys seem to get along fine -- and they say that relationships tend to work more with people you treat like a friend than just a lover," the blond pressed his middle knuckle lightly into Kili's chest and chuckled to himself. "Give 'er some time. A relationship could do you some good. I don't want you feeling like I'm suffocating you with our little domestic partnership in here --" Fili's chuckling died down significantly, his eyes narrowing at the placement of his knuckle on Kili's chest. "...Helps ease the ache of being home sick."

Kili was sprawled comfortably on the couch, having fallen asleep there after coming in the night before, and had just stirred when Fili came out to join him. And tease, apparently, no surprises there. The young man chuckled lightly, head lolling lazily on the top of the couch. "She kissed me, actually, was a little bit of a surprise," Kili admitted freely, glancing over at the blond, though the smile fell back a little bit. It had been a lovely kiss, after a wonderful night, but it maybe wasn’t what he was looking for. Not what he was expecting, at the least. He had thought there would be fireworks, or some equally romantically cliche connection, but for him he had kissed a friend. That was it. "….Honestly?" He wasn’t sure why, but he did hesitate in answering, eventually just shaking his head a little. "No, not everything I wanted," the young man admitted softly, sober for a moment before shrugging it off. "Maybe it was just a first kiss thing though, I don’t know." Truthfully not so different from past girlfriends, but he wanted this to work out, she was a nice girl. They had already been talking about another date too, and while Kili was pleased, it did not necessarily leave him with a case of the warm fuzzies. He just couldn’t quite seem to put his finger on what was off.

[canyoufiliit-blog]

friendtomrboggins

    ◎     And here came Fili, with both of his legs swinging up to land on his companion's lap as he oozed with a sort of curiosity and mild excitement. "So I heard someone got a good night kiss from a pretty little lady," his grin came cool, but stretched with an eagerness to know more. While part of him felt a churn of envy, he felt an excitement for his friend. His hand came down to squeeze at his knee. "Tell me about it, Ki. 'S not like this is an every day occurrence."

    "Did you make her swoon? Did she kiss you first or did you get the honor of initiating it? Was she wearing lip gloss, maybe lip stick? More importantly -- was it everything you wanted?" and this was where part of Fili hoped that the raven would honestly say: no. No this wasn't everything he wanted. 

    But he wouldn't earn an answer so sweet.

[canyoufiliit-blog]

[canyoufiliit-blog]

§ [ cOMe A T ME BrO ]

Send me § and my muse will react to yours pushing them against a wall and kissing them.

   ◎   He hadn’t been sure how to react. He hadn’t been sure if what just happened — actually happened. Rather, he stand there stiff against the wall. Fili’s gaze searched Kili’s face, still tasting the slight fragments of beer on his lips that were exchanged from the other. 

    “But… why? What about—” 

     Fili felt that the questions he’d ask would be too much, that it’d ruin the moment. Instead, he moved his head forward and captured Kili’s lips against his own. It was his turn to endure and expose himself before the other. He was coming clean with whatever he had left to unveil and while the kiss seemed to have come off with a kind of eagerness, there was also an underlying tone of need. This opportunity was a long coming and too soon could he screw it up in the midst of it all. 

     So his lips pressed further and he snaked an arm around Kili’s neck to keep him so unimaginably close. Closer and closer. Chest to chest. Lips to lips. Heart beat making time and syncing in with his partner in crime, his duo, his companion since he could remember in what run down town they grew up in. When he parted, he smiled with uncertainty, again searching his face. 

     ”I thought I’d at least return the favor, yeah?”

[canyoufiliit-blog]

Send a ◎ and a question and my muse must answer, even if it's a secret.

[canyoufiliit-blog]

Reblog if your muse loves physical affection like cuddles, massages, head scratches and handholding

[canyoufiliit-blog]

Send me § and my muse will react to yours pushing them against a wall and kissing them.

submitted by anonymous

[canyoufiliit-blog]

I have so much of you in my heart.

John Keats, “Letter to Fanny Browne,” 8 July 1819 (via wordsnquotes)

[canyoufiliit-blog]

DON'T WORRY FRIENDS. I'M STILL ALIVE [SORT OF]

[canyoufiliit-blog]

    ◎ Fili nearly cringed from the touch placed on his shoulder and head. He visibly relaxed, but the trembling continued. He could feel the sting of tears in his eyes -- why was he still alive? It was a miracle, but at what cost? Fili fell useless to those who needed him and here he lay, in the process of healing.

    "Uncle Thorin?" Fili whispered, searching for an answer in Bilbo's face. "...Kili? Where's Kili?"

"Fili," Bilbo moved quickly from the chair he’d been nearly dozing off in, to his friend’s bedside. They’d all taken turns watching over him. He was still healing. Falling from such a height it had been a miracle he had been alive.

"Don’t move. Don’t— try to sit up. You’ll only cause yourself pain," Bilbo place a hand on Fili’s shoulder and his head. After a moment he answered him, "We’re not all dead…"

[canyoufiliit-blog]

    "Kili-- Thorin, my kin. My family," Fili urged softly, knowing that Godiva wouldn't know a thing about their fate. He felt the sheets beneath him and swallowed dryly. No longer was he in the midst of war and he was sure that his family was well off. "N-nothing. Nevermind. Go back to bed, my sweet."

The movement to her side woke Godiva from deep slumber; had she not spent years on the road, travelling through dangerous lands, she may have continued to dream unaware of his predicament, but her body and mind were conditioned to react.  Blinking the haziness away, she lifted her head from the pillow and peered at Fili through the dark. “—Who?  What are you talking about?”