caninepoetryrelator
kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face
13 posts
he/him | queer transmasc | switchI write what I like, feel free to submit requests
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
caninepoetryrelator · 1 month ago
Text
Reblog if you're hoping 2011 will be a fresh start.
55K notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 1 month ago
Text
Cuntiest LJ on the face of the planet holy shit
Tumblr media
Cheeky little fellas
1K notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 7 months ago
Text
whimsigoth enid...........
Tumblr media
146 notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 8 months ago
Text
Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.
226K notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
your honor my client was simply just going through his ":3" arc
464 notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 8 months ago
Text
Basically him explaining I’m to young for him..
(FYI I don’t care lmao-)
1K notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 8 months ago
Text
some walking dead headcanons
Tumblr media
96 notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 9 months ago
Text
“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.
You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are
69K notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 9 months ago
Text
it rules to be a transgender writer because writing trans themes is easy as fuck. it's easy as fuck dude. trans themes basically write themselves. change is the fundamental motor of storytelling. guess what else is all about change bitch
39K notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 10 months ago
Note
more carl grimes soft smut plz, i love the way you write him :)))
Omg yes sorry for the late response this got buried but give me some ideas and I’ll get right on it
36 notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
boyfriends
4K notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 11 months ago
Text
holy trinity of dilfs
Tumblr media
8K notes · View notes
caninepoetryrelator · 1 year ago
Text
Liquid Luck
Carl Grimes x Reader (16+)
Aged up Carl Grimes x Reader soft smut
Synopsis: Carl and you are not friends. So what’s gonna happen when you’re locked in a room together with a bottle of whiskey?
Warnings: Dick, dick getting sucked, no fully blown sex just oral, Carl is a cutie, also it’s a zombie apocalypse there’s gonna be zombies, plus various weapons and very brief nondescript violence.
Words: 3,843
Tumblr media
It all started with a bad raid. We figured we could sneak into the pharmacy, get the medicine for Hershel, and then get out without attracting any attention.
Rick and Daryl stayed outside and kept watch while he sent you and Carl to take care of the rest.
That was it, straightforward, in and out.
Or at least it had been.
A week prior Glenn had put a boombox on the rooftop of the place to attract the walkers out and up instead of prowling the streets and the building.
The windows were almost all broken. Either by walkers or raiders, we didn’t know. But it sure was convenient when the door turned out to be locked.
You watched Carl adjust the brim of his hat and narrow his eyes at a broken square window a few feet above his head.
“I think I can fit,” he stated firmly, casting you a sidelong glance, quickly looking back at Rick when you made eye contact.
He had never been outright rude to you; he had never been anything to you. He had only introduced himself with a short greeting and a tight smile. He seemed much more open with everyone else yet standoffish around you.
“The kid can fit too,” agreed Daryl, nodding towards you. He’d always called you that despite you being the same age as Carl.
Carl’s face dropped as he glanced at you again. “I can do it by myself.”
“No, you can’t,” ordered Rick. “We don’t know how many walkers are still in there. You’re taking her with you.”
He sighed. Did he really not like you this much?
Before you had come to a conclusion Daryl had laid a leather jacket over the jagged glass in the frame before he and Rick boosted Carl into the window.
“I’ll make sure it’s safe!” He hollered from inside the building. There was some scuffling inside for a moment before he yelled “It’s clear!”
Next thing you knew you were standing in their respective interlaced fingers and they boosted you up to the window. You grabbed the edges and dove in. It wasn’t until you let go of the window frame that you realized that you, unlike Carl, were falling face first instead of feet first.
Luckily, you were met with the last type of relief you expected. Carl grabbed your waist, slowing your descent enough to use your own momentum to turn you so you landed on your feet. His hands linger on your waist as you stand chest to chest with him. You look up at him through your lashes, breathing heavily. His face is red, probably from exertion.
Just before you can thank him he pulls quickly away, looking down nervously. You lower your head into his line of sight so that he makes eye contact with you.
“Thank you,” you say with a smile.
He nods shortly before taking out his knife and heading towards a door. “This way.”
You follow him, Michonee’s old sword she had given you in hand as you follow him closely, checking your surroundings avidly. Both of you continuously glanced up at the ceiling, which creaked under the weight of anywhere from fifty to one hundred walkers.
Your shoe nudged something on the ground— a bottle of whiskey. You quickly stooped and picked it up, putting it in one of the pockets of your oversized cargos.
You make your way to the back of the building, into the section where the pills are stored.
“What are we looking for again?” You ask.
“Promethazine, it’s anti-nausea medication for throwing up. Hershel’s worried the vomit from people with the flu in town could make it more contagious.” He replies, examining bottles instead of looking at you.
With a soft frown at his bland attitude, you wander to the ‘P’ section, browsing for promethazine.
You found five prefilled prescriptions made out to various, probably now dead, people.
“Carl,” you call, holding up a handful of amber pill bottles.
“Nice one,” he says, a genuine smile on his face. The first time he’s smiled at you. It was a nice smile. You felt your face heat up as you smiled as well.
Carl turned around for you to put the meds in his backpack. You brush his hair out of the way and he whips his head around immediately.
“W-what’re you doing back there?”
“Making sure your hair doesn’t get caught in the zipper,” you reply simply.
He relaxes as you unzip the bag and place the medications inside.
Just as you were zipping the beg, a loud creaking sound resounded from the ceiling. Carl and you glanced at each other with wide eyes.
“This way,” he commanded, taking your hand and leading — practically dragging — you through the pharmacy. The thumping on the roof was becoming more prominent and you could hear gunshots from outside.
You were practically running now as the sounds became nearly overwhelming. You were near the doctor's office section of the building when the ceiling began to give.
“Shit,” you muttered as the ceiling tiles began to fall.
Carl’s hand was on your waist again, this time snatching you out of the way of something falling— a walker, collapsed on the ground where you had just been standing.
Everything was happening so fast, and next thing you knew the ground was littered with walkers, all focused on the two of you. Your sword could only do so much as you slashed at the hoard, managing to take out two in one blow as you attempted to keep them at bay.
When Carl’s hands were on your waist again this time you didn’t question it— he snatched you backwards and into a room, where he slammed the door closed and locked it.
It was a check up office; it contained white brick walls and linoleum tile. In the corner was an oak desk with a monitor and sanitary supplies stacked on it. There was a cot against the opposite wall and various equipment hanging from the walls.
The thudding at the door where Carl stood jarred you back to reality, spurring you to grab the desk and shove at it. It had to be at least four hundred pounds. Carl pulled from the other side and together you managed to use it to barricade the door. He collapsed against the cot, panting.
You joined him, holding up your hands in a calming gesture as he looked at you with a shaky, nervous expression.
“Well, shit,” he muttered with an ironic chuckle.
“Probably gonna be in here for a while,” you sighed.
“Yeah,” he muttered bitterly.
Why don’t you like me?
The words almost came out of your mouth, but it wasn’t the right time. Instead you just looked at him, with a resigned expression.
You take the whiskey from your pocket and open it, taking a swig. After drinking with Daryl it didn’t phase you too much anymore, but he stared at you with a shocked expression, cheeks dusted pink.
“Where did you get that?”
“Store,” you replied simply, holding out the bottle to him.
After a moment of hesitation he took it, taking a swig with a grimace. “How do you drink that shit?” He laughs.
He laughed. A real laugh. It’s your first time hearing it. You want to hear more of it.
“Daryl,” you explain simply and he nods with a groan.
“I see,” he takes another drink and passes the bottle back to you.
It’s called liquid courage for a reason, you think. That’s all the convincing it takes for you to start chugging the bottle. You get about five swallows down before Carl’s hands, one on the bottle and one on your jaw, stop you from going further.
“Don’t overdo it,” he chides you gently.
You nod dumbly, watching a drop make its way down his neck, tracing his adam’s apple as he takes another drink. You notice the way his lips pucker around the mouth of the bottle and you force yourself to look away.
After a moment of silence he speaks again.
“Wanna play truth or dare?”
You look at him in surprise, hesitating for a moment.
“Only if you want to—” he starts nervously before you cut him off with a simple statement.
“Sure.”
He looks at you in relief, clearly afraid to have overstepped before smiling, a bit anxiously. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” you don’t hesitate; they really do call it liquid courage for a reason.
He glanced around the room before his eyes land on the stethoscope. “I dare you to give me a checkup?” He phrases it as a question so you don’t feel forced. Cute.
You grab various medical equipment, wrapping the stethoscope around your neck with a drunken grin. “I’m your doctor, I’ll be giving you your physical,” you say in your best attempt at a deep voice. You were clearly already drunk. Normally you would’ve felt stupid but with the heartwarming giggle he let out paired with an over dramatic eyeroll, you felt nothing but at ease.
As you begin measuring his heart rate he swallows hard, his pink cheeks darkening to red. His heart thumped steadily; quickly.
“Truth or dare,” you murmur as you measure his vitals.
“Uh…” he swallowed hard, eyes flickered from your hands against his chest to your face, feigning focus. “Dare.”
“Take your shirt off,” you say with an innocent grin. He blanches, surprised. “To check your vitals better. Only if you want to.” You assure him sweetly.
In a moment he was struggling to pull his shirt off, disoriented from the alcohol.
Next thing you know your hands are running down his sides to the hem of his shirt. Halfway through struggling out of his shirt he looks up at you from his sitting position, face still read and panting. You gently tug his shirt upwards, prompting him to pull his arms through the holes and you pull it over his head.
You giggle at the state of his hair, correcting it without hesitation.
“Real soft,” you muse as you gently sweep his hair out of his face. The poor boy looks overwhelmed as he stares up at you, arms wrapped around himself nervously.
You gently move the arm he has wrapped around his chest, pressing the stethoscope there once more. His heart is beating almost worryingly fast.
“You okay hon?” You ask gently.
“Mhm,” he manages, seeming to have a hard time speaking.
“Okay,” you murmur, putting the stethoscope on various places around his chest, pretending to know what you’re doing.
“Truth- uh truth or dare,” he chokes out.
“Dare,” you repeat, this time even more sure than the last.
“Can you uhm.. touch my hair again?” He wasn’t making eye contact at all now, seemingly fascinated by his jeans as he stares down, still adorned by that bright blush.
In a second your hands are in his hair. Even when you hadn’t been talking you were fascinated by his hair. Rick had caught you staring several times and always met you with a soft smile or a laugh, whereas Daryl arched his eyebrow with a slight grin.
His hair really was soft, soft as hell. You rubbed a single strand between your fingers before trailing your fingers from his roots to the ends of his hair. You secure your hands around his scalp, threading your fingers through his hair as you continue to play with it, enamored.
You hadn’t even noticed his face, eyes closed, mouth open, breathing deeply.
You lean in closer and murmur by his ear. “Truth or dare.”
His eyes flicker open and he breathes for a moment. “Truth.”
“Why do you avoid me back at camp?” He froze.
“I-I don’t,” he lied, resulting in a small tug to his hair. He draws in a sharp breath, looking up at you surprised.
“Don’t lie,” you chide.
“You make me nervous,” he admitted after a moment of silence. “People usually don’t make me nervous, but you do.” He was once again apparently entranced by his jeans so you cup his jaw gently, bringing his gaze up to meet your own.
“I like making you nervous. But not all the time. I like talking to you, Carl,” you explain in a soft voice.
He looks up at you with a genuine involuntary smile.
“Really?” He breathes.
“Yes,” you whisper, realizing how much closer you had gotten, your hand still settled on his jaw.
“Um… truth or dare?”
“Dare,” you repeat, adamant on forcing him out of his comfort zone.
“Is it okay if I— can I please, uhm—“
“Do whatever you want, Carl,” you interrupt him. “I trust you.”
His eyes widen at that and he finally rises to his feet. A familiar feeling. His hands on your waist. His grasp is awkward this time, less sure of himself when he’s not saving your life. When it’s a choice to be touching you.
He tugs you a bit closer and his eyes flicker to your lips. You know what he’s trying to do and you know he’s scared to do it.
Your hands are still in his hair and you use that to your advantage, pulling him towards you and letting him close the distance, giving you a hesitant kiss. His lips are a little chapped, but they’re plush and soft. He tastes like whiskey, and you’re sure you do too. He’s inexperienced; this might be his first kiss, you realize.
You follow that kiss with another chaste one pressed against his lips ever so gently.
“Feel good?” You murmur, forehead resting against his with your eyes closed.
“Mhm,” he hums, barely audible as he lets out another shakey breath. You know his eyes are closed too.
You’re both reveling. In each other's presence. Just breathing each other in as his arms move to loosely wrap around your waist instead of simply placing his hands there.
There it is. That’s right.
His hands on your waist were sweet but his arms encircling your waist was just right.
You pull him in for another slow kiss, heads tilted, mouth moving and prompting his to do the same, teaching him as best you could without saying a word.
“Wow,” he gasps against your lips. You try to give him a chance to explain his exclamation by pulling away, but he pulls you back in.
You slide your tongue over his bottom lip, hoping for him to part his lips a bit more and in response he gives your tongue a light suck, pulling it into his mouth and letting out a soft whine as he does.
Your kiss evolves in passion as his hand starts traveling over your body. It slides up your waist and onto your ribs, just shy of your boob. The other stays securely wrapped around your waist as though he’s attempting to anchor you to him.
As much as you adore the feeling of his lips, you pull away. His brow furrows, eyes still shut as he leans forward for another kiss, his lips chasing yours with a small sound of displeasure after you pull away.
You tug his hair, gently prompting him to tilt his head to the side to give you access to his neck. You start by pressing soft kisses there, a trail from his jaw to the base of his neck, before retracing your steps with parted lips, allowing yourself to taste the sweet musky skin of his neck.
He lets out a choked whimper before covering his mouth with his hand. Not on your watch. You immediately grab his hand, pulling it down to your tit. He lets out a shakey gasp as he grasps at the soft flesh, groaning softly as he squeezes experimentally.
“Thank you..” he murmurs, eyes still screwed shut.
“Of course sweetheart,” you smile against his neck. He shivers at the nickname, giving you a minor power trip.
You begin sucking the flesh of his neck into your mouth where you begin biting gradually before biting harder to leave dark marks. You leave one by his jaw before remembering Rick, and what his reaction would be. You press a quick kiss to the mark before shoving him down on the cushioned exam cot, straddling him.
That’s when you notice the tent in his pants. He glances down at the point where your crotches met, biting his lip nervously. “S-sorry—” he started.
“Don’t be,” you assure him, leaning down to begin littering his chest with kisses.
You start the marks by his collarbone, before moving down to his chest. He was whimpering without restraint now, back arched.
His hand was moving up your body, down your arm, and to your hand. He held your hand, giving it a soft squeeze before simply holding your hand.
“Can I.. can I have—” he cut himself off with a small whimper before you stopped your ministrations.
“Use your words sweetheart.”
He groans slightly at that. “Can I— I wanna kiss.” He squeezes your hand again.
You lean up and meet him halfway with a soft kiss. He’s better now. He’s more prepared. You run your tongue along his bottom lip and he gladly parts them, granting you entry. He opens his mouth a bit too wide, but you don’t mind. You pull back slightly, pulling away and following it with a chaste, soft kiss before continuing where you left off– his chest.
You continue sucking dark hickies along his chest, leaving a trail of bites and kisses down to his belly. A faint covering of dark hairs spreads from just about his belly button, trailing down to below the band of his jeans.
You let out a soft sigh of desire, lightly caressing his happy trail with the tip of your fingers. He shudders softly and you watch his cock twitch through his jeans. He begins to apologize again, cutting himself off with a soft groan when you plant a firm kiss to where his happy trail disappears under his jeans.
You tug softly at the button on his jeans. “Can I?” You ask, looking up at him through your lashes.
He blinks in shock, looking down at you with wide eyes and a flushed face, mouth agape. “A-are you sure?”
“Yes,” you chuckle.
He responds with a small nod, still clearly shocked. You make quick work of undoing his pants, tugging them down before looking up at him with a small nod, prompting him to climb to his feet and shed his pants, quickly clambering back onto the bench. You swing your leg over the base of his thighs, straddling them.
You’re quick to feel him up, groping at his straining cock.
Freeing his cock you glance up at him in surprise, He’s packing. Six, maybe seven inches, not too wide – you could probably fit your hand perfectly around it – with a pretty pink tip, practically dripping precum. You test your earlier theory by experimentally wrapping your hand around his cock, eliciting a whine from him.
He swallows hard before looking down at you. “Are you s-sure? You’re comfortable?”
You nod. “I want to do this for you sweet boy.”
He smiles softly, letting his head fall back and his eyes flutter shut. “Thank you,” he sighs happily.
You lean down and kiss the head of his cock, causing him to jolt slightly. After lapping at the slit of his cock you take the head into your mouth. He gasps, bucking his hips.
Without warning you grab him by the hips and force him back against the cot which draws another whimper out of him as he pathetically attempts to squirm his hips closer to your mouth. You tut your tongue and pull away until he stops moving.
“Please,” he whines, struggling.
You decide to grant mercy on the poor boy, taking his head into your mouth once again. One arm forcing his hips against the table, you wrap the other hand around his cock and gently squeeze. He sighs happily, breath hitching as you begin moving your hand. Rotating it gradually as you move your hand up and down, you allow some of your saliva to drip from the head of his cock into your hand.
You use it as lubricant to begin pumping your hand up and down his cock faster, limp wristed as you continue lapping at the head of his cock. He arches his back more and whines.
Just as you begin taking more of his cock into your mouth his hand flies to the back of your head, threading his fingers through your hair before squeezing, clearly doing his best to hold back from pulling your hair too hard.
“Mmh..” he moans softly, gripping at your hair firmly and applying slight pressure.
Suddenly you take as much as possible into your mouth, deepthroating him without warning. He lets out a sharp moan, gripping your hair tighter before releasing his grip in a slight panic as he realizes what he’s doing– it’s cute how hard he’s trying to hold back.
You use your tongue mostly, swirling it around his cock to the best of your ability as you begin bobbing your head up and down. You use one hand to massage his hard balls, ready to burst already. With that you remember that he’s a virgin, and you probably shouldn’t be teasing him so much.
This whole time he’s been making the most lewd noises, moaning and letting out small whimpers to the rhythm of you bobbing your head. His cock twitches in your mouth, prompting you to go faster to help him through.
You release his hips and meet his eyes when he gives you a confused glance, silently giving him permission. Experimentally, he bucks his hips, moaning before falling into a steady rhythm, his hips rising and falling shakily against your mouth.
He grips your hair even tighter, bringing tears to your eyes as you gag on his cock. After less than ten seconds he releases his load down your throat. Despite your attempts to swallow it dribbles out of your mouth and down his cock.
The low groan he had released had tapered off into a moan, sighing as he finally collapsed from his high. As he lays there, chest heaving, you slowly climb on top of him, collapsing there and cuddling into him.
He turns and kisses the top of your head, his wide smile unknown to you.
“I think I’m less nervous around you now,” he murmurs into your hair.
You smile softly as he places his hand on your waist once again. “Good,”
Thank god for liquid courage.
They cleared the pharmacy of walkers eventually, and by the time they reached you the two of you were cleaned up.
You came out swinging, having to run to the truck.
The two of you ended up so battered and bruised Rick didn’t even think to mention the bruise at the base of Carl’s jaw, and the one on his collarbone, just visible when he wore tank tops.
You saved the whiskey for next time.
2K notes · View notes