candlementors

[candlementors]

"Dreams sometimes do come true. But not without something that looks a lot like hard work." -- Sylvia Ashton Warner

Love this quote. I am a firm believer that you can accomplish anything in this life if you really want it bad enough. The problem is that most people don't want it bad enough to get through the hard work it takes to get it done.

[candlementors]

"The Modern Face of Mentoring"

This is an awesome article by Amy Anderson about how the world of mentoring is going through some radical changes. Changes for the better. Many of these changes are at the core of the Crowd Mentoring philosophies we are building at Candle Mentors.

http://jeffbrown.visibli.com/share/RlJdVG

I strongly suggest you take the time to read through it, but for those of you with far too much to do and too little time to do it, here are my favorite points:

Mentoring in Reverse - the traditional mentoring model of a master and an apprentice no longer exists. The inexperienced "mentee" often brings valuable perspectives, knowledge, and experience to the table (e.g. younger entrepreneurs growing up with technology that the "mentor" may not be familiar with)

Inversion of Expertise - shattering the existing belief that older is always wiser and has all the answers. With the rate of change in innovation steadily increasing and easy access to unlimited information, age and years of experience are no longer the most critical factors in establishing a mentoring relationship.

Peer Mentoring - a growing trend in mentoring is to engage others who have just gone through or are currently going through similar situations and obstacles. These peers often have a much different and often more relevant experience than someone who has been in that situation over 20 years ago.

For those of you who have been following our blog, you know that this revolution in the mentoring world is what really excites us. We are utilizing technology to bring Crowd Mentoring to the traditional mentoring world that is in dire need of innovation. Glad to have you along for the ride.

[candlementors]

"History of Mentoring in Silicon Valley"

This is a great post written by Steve Blank (@sgblank) about the importance of mentoring the next generation of entrepreneurs. He details the history of the "Pay it Forward" culture in Silicon Valley and how it even helped a young Steve Jobs get started.

http://steveblank.com/2011/09/15/the-pay-it-forward-culture/

I can tell you from my own personal experience that this culture exists not only in Silicon Valley, but throughout the tech startup community in general. I have greatly benefited from this amazing culture in NYC.

"The best investment they could make to help a startup culture... would be to share what they know with the next generation."

This gets to the heart of everything we are working on at Candle Mentors, and we couldn't agree more.

[candlementors]

"We're here for a reason. I believe a bit of the reason is to throw little torches out to lead people through the dark." -- Whoopi Goldberg

A very relevant quote from an unexpected source. At Candle Mentors, we are strong believers in passing on the torch of knowledge and lighting the candle of another :)

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

[candlementors]

"I've Never Really Had a Mentor"

In speaking to people about Candle Mentors, I've noticed a common response that is honestly pretty shocking to me. As I explain what we are building, there are times when I get a glazed-over look. A look that implies - I don't really get it.

And then we get into it a little further and I hear this response, "I've never really had a mentor."

This response often comes from successful people. I guess I just assumed that all successful people were involved in some form of mentoring relationships. So when I hear these successful people are so unfamiliar with the process of mentoring, I realize how lucky I've been to have amazing mentors in my life.

I now have a well-crafted go-to response to the "never had a mentor" comment:

The best way I know to learn something new is to learn directly from someone who has already done it. Learning from the best practices, mistakes, experience, and knowledge of others exponentially increases the learning curve. That is what mentoring is all about.

With so many people in transition in this world today, both professionally and personally, there has never been more of a need for Candle Mentors and our Crowd Mentoring process.

[candlementors]

No mentoring blog post today. Just a special remembrance of a day 10 years ago that affected so many of us here in the NYC area and all around the world...

[candlementors]

"Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction." - John Crosby

Just a nice little quote about mentoring that I wanted to share.

P.S. This quote is probably 100 years old. The point is, mentoring has been around for a LONG, LONG time and hasn't really benefited from any technological breakthroughs. That is, until Candle Mentors came around :)

[candlementors]

If you are new to the mentoring world, this is a great starting point. Anthony Tjan has given you everything you need to get started:

http://blogs.hbr.org/tjan/2009/03/five-questions-every-mentor-mu.html

Those five questions that every mentor must ask are:

1. What is it that you really want to be and do? 2. What are you doing really well that is helping you get there? 3. What are you not doing well that is preventing you from getting there? 4. What will you do differently tomorrow to meet those challenges? 5. How can I help / where do you need the most help?

As Anthony points out, it is important that these questions be asked in order.

It is also critically important after you ask each question that you just shut up and listen. I know this is difficult for some of us and it may create awkward silence, but it is the best thing you can do.

Ask the question and then don't say a word. Then the mentoring process truly begins.

This is a very practical starting point for beginning a mentoring relationship. Well done Anthony.

[candlementors]

This is an awesome post about what it means to be a great mentor.

http://www.davidgcohen.com/2011/08/28/the-mentor-manifesto/

David Cohen is the founder and CEO of Techstars, a mentorship-driven seed stage investment program for Internet startups. He obviously has had a tremendous opportunity to work with many mentors over the past several years and shares his thoughts.

His post lists many qualities entrepreneurs should demand from their mentors, but here are my favorite:

-- Expect nothing in return (you’ll be delighted with what you do get back) -- Accept and communicate with other mentors that get involved -- Be challenging/robust but never destructive

A true mentor is not always going to tell the mentee that everything is great and wonderful. There are times where a mentor must push back and disagree or challenge the mentee, but this should always be in a constructive way - not destructive.

At Candle Mentors, our crowd mentoring philosophy closely aligns with many of the best practices that David has outlined. We love to hear from the mentoring experts regarding how improve the overall mentoring process.

[candlementors]

What is Candle Mentors (Part 7 of 7) - Make the World a Better Place

By far our favorite part of Candle Mentors and the reason this whole crazy idea started in the first place. I'll admit - it's not quite as good as the 7th Harry Potter Book, but it's pretty awesome in its own regards.

Candle Mentor Greatness Part 7: Make the world a better place

Ok. Fine. You can go ahead and say it. It’s a little cliche. I’m sure every startup says they are going to make the world a better place one way or another. If your startup was to bring men's capris pants to the world, you probably realized you weren't really making anything better. I may not have much fashion sense, but yikes!

Seriously though, with your help Candle Mentors is going to make the world a better place by lighting one candle at a time.

If we can show one kid the path to stay off the streets and go to college or vocational school or land a legitimate job, well then we’ve succeeded.

I’ll be honest. My goals are a little more ambitious then to help just one person. My goal is to light one million candles - have one million responses to mentees asking for guidance. In government bailout terms, a million is a speck of dirt. In terms of helping others improve and making the world a better place, one million is a hell of a good start.

Sorry. I get ahead of myself. For now, we really appreciate that you’ve taken the time to read our blog. All we ask is that you signup for our email list to stay in the loop regarding our upcoming beta launch.

So please, sign up for our mailing list, tell your friends, and get ready to really make an impact and make the world better for our generations to come.

[candlementors]

What is Candle Mentors (Part 6 of 7) - On Your Own Time

In Part 5, we learned about mentees becoming mentors and the full circle of the mentoring relationship. When mentees and mentors realize that they can always be learning and contributing, the the full power of Candle Mentors becomes apparent.

Part 6 addresses the most common question we hear when we talk to people about Candle Mentors:

How much time does mentoring take?

Candle Mentor Greatness Part 6: On your own time

Everyone is busy. Busy with work, family, information overload, whatever. Time is precious. Most people can’t just go spend half a day or even a few hours regularly to mentor someone.

So no matter how great your ambitions may be, time may prevent you from fully reaping the benefits and advantages of mentoring.

Candle Mentors to the rescue.

Because of amazing advances in technology, our community will be open 24 hours 7 days a week. That means that when you get bored with watching reruns of the Jersey Shore, you can visit our community and make a difference. Or when you are on that bus/train as part of your joyous commute, you can come hang out with us and we’ll brighten up your day.

The point is, Candle Mentors provides mentoring opportunities with as little or as much time commitment as you can provide.

Stop by once a month and answer a post. Awesome. You just made someone’s day.

Stop by every day. You are the coolest person ever. Seriously. Amazing.

But it’s totally on your time. There is no pressure to be there for a mentee if things get real busy on your end. Our Crowd Mentoring community picks up the slack when you need a break.

And if you are a mentee and can't wait 2 weeks to get on the calendar of your mentor, come to us. Create a post today and let our community start helping right away.

You give what you can, when you can, and the world is a better place because of it. Simple. Done. Thanks. Come again real soon :)

[candlementors]

What is Candle Mentors (Part 5 of 7) - Both Sides of the Table

Ok, we're rolling now. If you need to catch up on the first four parts, be sure to go back to the main blog page and check them out.

We are getting to the good stuff now though. The stuff that really excites me. The reason why I confidently say we are revolutionizing the mentoring universe.

Candle Mentor Greatness Part 5: Both Sides of the Table

The mentoring relationship is one that provides lasting benefits to both the mentor and mentee and ultimately effects those who interact with the mentor / mentee because of these benefits. Don't think one person's actions make a difference? Here’s your proof.

Just because you are a mentee in one area of your life, does not mean that you could not be of great assistance to someone else in a totally different area. This is the where the Candle Mentors community really comes together.

Say I am a junior in high school and interested in going to med school. I post about needing guidance on what are good pre-med schools and majors and asking what I could be doing now to prepare. I engage in a mentoring relationship as a mentee about getting into med school.

I also happen to be an all-state soccer player who has been playing since I am four years old. I see that someone posts about needing guidance on how best to prepare as a freshman for varsity soccer tryouts. I can then help this person in a mentoring capacity.

Fast forward a few years. I now have some real experience in the med school world. I will be able to offer advice to high school students aspiring to go to med school about what I have done and what I could have done better.

That is the magic of Candle Mentors.

Everyone is learning and helping each other and often times the student can become the teacher. And in many cases, the student already can be a teacher in other subjects.

Candle Mentors allows you to simultaneously be on both sides of the table as both a mentor in one capacity and a mentee in another.

[candlementors]

What is Candle Mentors (Part 4 of 7) - Multiple Perspectives

So I think you are starting to get a feel for why Candle Mentors is going to revolutionize the mentoring universe. (If it's still a little fuzzy, go back and re-read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3... Ok?... Much better. We're all set now)

Because you are an astute reader of blog headlines, you know we are just getting started. Four of seven. There's still a whole lot of greatness to come. And away we go.

Candle Mentor Greatness Part 4: Multiple Perspectives

I often wonder very random things like “I wonder if Albert Einstein would agree with this statement.”

One person does not have the best answer to every question ever asked.

I think my boy Albert would agree with that.

So let’s say that hypothetically, back in the day you were lucky enough to be assigned Albert Einstein as your mentor. First, I’m not sure he would be a good mentor, because intellectually the man is from a different planet and may have difficulty transferring knowledge. Second, although your mentor is commonly referred to as one of the greatest intellects of all time, he’s probably not the best person to ask for all things - e.g.: relationship advice. (After he divorced his wife, he tried to marry his first cousin’s daughter. But when the daughter turned him down, he married his first cousin - mother of the woman who just turned him down. Yikes!!)

Ok, so you wouldn’t ask Albert for relationship advice, but that is just a hypothetical. The point is that you are better served by being mentored by someone who is knowledgeable about the topic.

This is where multiple perspectives comes into play. In the traditional mentoring world, you may be lucky enough to have a few people you would consider mentors. These few people certainly don’t have all the answers.

That’s why Candle Mentors encourages multiple perspectives. We have our mentees post to our community and the leave it open for response. As a result, members of the community who feel they can add some insight to the situation will respond.

From the mentee’s viewpoint:

Multiple perspectives are great.

Obviously, it is up to the mentee to decide who provided them with the best advice and guidance and then what they should do after that. Sometimes the best answer may come from a combination of multiple mentors. Sometimes it may come from a person with little perceived knowledge about your situation.

But by not limiting your mentoring relationship to one “all-knowing” person, you will be able to read different responses and pick and choose your next course of action.

From the mentor’s viewpoint:

Multiple perspectives are great.

It reduces the dependency to always be at the beck and call of your mentee. If a mentee has something urgent they need help with but the mentor is unavailable, the mentee can rely on the community to fill in. The unavailable mentor could then go and read the mentee’s post at a later, more convenient time and chime in if necessary.

The mentor also has the ability to read other responses from the community and see what others thought about the situation. This creates a group learning environment for the mentors as well.

——

Let’s face it. One mentor does not have all the answers, and a great mentor would certainly welcome the help on situations where the mentor is unfamiliar or inexperienced. That’s why multiple perspectives from the community is absolutely critical to creating the best mentoring environment.

[candlementors]

What is Candle Mentors (Part 3 of 7) - If I knew then...

In Part 1 - Make Yourself Better, we established that you have a desire to make some part of your life better either personally or professionally. In Part 2 - Mentor Fit, we established that the Crowd Mentoring methodology makes it easy for you to find a mentor / mentee related to your goals.

Candle Mentors addresses the inefficiencies of the traditional mentoring process and expands on the things that make mentoring great. With the power of the internet behind us and your with your help to make our community amazing, Candle Mentors is revolutionizing the world of mentoring.

Candle Mentor Greatness Part 3: If I knew then what I know now

No. I’m going to stop you right there before you get carried away. We did not create a time machine so that you can go back in time and give yourself a sports almanac.

But every one of us at one point has made the statement, “If I knew then what I know now, I would have done it this way or I would have changed this.”

That’s life. You live and learn, right? Sure, but it is so much better to live, learn, and then share.

Since you can’t go back and tell yourself about everything you learned and how to do things differently, it would be great for you to help others who are about to go head first into what you’ve just been through.

The mentee side of this is obvious although very often ignored. If I decided that I wanted to write a book but have absolutely no knowledge about writing a book, I could take two very distinct paths:

I could sit down in front of my computer and just start typing - “Chapter 1: In the beginning…”

I could do some research about how to write a book. Talk to some people that have actually written a book before and find out how they got started. Ask one of my favorite questions, “If you were in my shoes about to start doing this now for the first time, what would you do differently now that you’ve been through this already?” (Side note: sometimes you have to really press people on this one because they might just give you a fluff answer)

Like I said, obvious right. If you looking to do something new or unfamiliar or just need some guidance or support, let others help you. That’s what this community is here for.

Until we figure out a way to channel 1.21 gigawatts to our flux capacitor, you’re going to have to settle for helping others with the “If I knew then…”

[candlementors]

What is Candle Mentors (Part 2 of 7) - Mentor Fit

So, you now know from Part 1 - Make Yourself Better that Candle Mentors is all about helping our community learn and improve.

We are using the web to revolutionize the mentoring world through a process we called Crowd Mentoring. One of the first things we wanted to address is the uncomfortable and often awkward process of finding a mentor or mentee. It really doesn't have to be that difficult. We promise.

Candle Mentor Greatness Part 2: Mentor Fit

The problem with the wonderful world of mentoring is that there is an overbearing, all-powerful barrier of entry. A barrier that often prevents many of us from joining the party. But Candle Mentors is here to tear down that barrier, so that we can all join in on the fun.

That barrier is finding a mentor / mentee and more importantly finding the right mentor / mentee (otherwise known as mentor fit).

If you are trying to learn something new or unfamiliar, chances are pretty good you are on the outside looking in. You may not even know who the key players are to ask for help. Even if you know who these people are, you may not have access to them. Trust me. We know this first hand. It’s not easy.

Or you are in the opposite position. You are the key player. You are the knowledgeable, experienced person. You want to give back and pass the flame onto others. You want to help others learn from your mistakes. But how do you find the right student? How do you find that mentee who is going to appreciate your experience?

Candle Mentors personifies the saying “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

When the mentee is ready to seek guidance and support by creating a post on Candle Mentors, the mentor will appear. And many times, more than one mentor will appear which will help the mentee find the best answers and the right fit.

From the mentor side, finding the right fit is simple. Our search criteria makes it easy to find the mentees and topics that interest you. As a mentor, there are no requirements or obligations for you to help anyone or continue helping anyone. You provide answers and support when you can and when you feel you have valuable insight to share. If a mentee is not the right fit for what you are looking for, move on. No hard feelings.

No more forced corporate mentors. No more struggling to find the right fit. We make it simple for you to get the most out of the mentoring experience.

[candlementors]

What is Candle Mentors (Part 1 of 7) - Make Yourself Better

If you’ve seen our homepage, you know that:

Candle Mentors is a community that matches those in need of guidance and advice with those who are wiling to help

And then you say - “Ok. Got it. But what’s the point? Why should I care?”

You certainly ask the right questions. I can tell already that you're going to make a great mentor / mentee.

There are tremendous benefits to a positive mentoring relationship for both the mentor and mentee. I have experienced these benefits firsthand and they have guided me on a path to success that I never would have been able to accomplish on my own.

Whether you are new to the mentoring process or a seasoned pro, Candle Mentors has been designed for you to get the most out of the experience. We have captured the awesomeness of mentoring in our community and used the ever-powerful internet to enhance the experience.

It's difficult to pinpoint the greatness of Candle Mentors, but since you asked, here we go...

Candle Mentor Greatness Part 1: Make Yourself Better

Candle Mentors is built on the foundation of learning and improving. Whether you are a mentor, mentee or both, the community is going to help you make yourself and those around you better.

As a mentee:

You are here to learn from the wisdom and knowledge of others who have accomplished or experienced what you are trying to do or what you have been through. You realize that there is no need to reinvent the wheel.

If we had to learn everything on our own without the help of others, there would be no progress. But by learning from those who have done what we are trying to do, we can greatly steepen the learning curve. Efficiency!

You are the ultimate example of learning and improving.

As a mentor:

You are here to pass on the knowledge and experiences that you have learned. You are here to light the candle of another seeking to guidance and support.

But don't worry. You are certainly making yourself better as well. You are reinforcing your knowledge and reliving some of the lessons you learned along the way. The best way to truly become a master of a subject is to teach.

You are selflessly passing your knowledge on to others thirsty to learn.

For everyone:

If you thought all of your best learning was done as a junior in high school, you have certainly come to the wrong place. Let us help you make yourself a better version of you.

Fair warning - once you experience the power of Candle Mentors and making yourself and others better, you will be addicted. Just don't say we didn't warn you.

[candlementors]

What is Mentoring?

Mentoring is the single most powerful method to facilitate personal and professional development.

"Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their own learning in order that they may maximize their potential, develop their skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to be." Eric Parsloe, The Oxford School of Coaching & Mentoring

Simply put - if you want to make any area of your life better, mentoring is the key.

Mentoring is a developmental partnership designed to allow one individual to benefit from the knowledge and experience of another. This partnership facilitates the sharing of information, skills, perspectives, and solutions in regards to a particular subject, industry, or topic. Mentoring relationships provide guidance, support, encouragement, and constructive criticism in the attempt to foster growth and improvement.

The reason we study history is to learn from the success and mistakes of previous generations. The reason for mentoring is similar in that we are learning about success and mistakes except that we have the ability to directly interact with the people involved instead of reading a textbook. Mentoring allows us to ask questions, connect, and collaborate with the experienced.

Mentoring is a tool to expedite progress. It is a tool to dramatically speed up the learning curve. It is a tool to transfer knowledge from the experienced to the inexperienced.

Almost everything we want to do or accomplish in life has been done or accomplished in some fashion by someone else already. The best thing we can do for our own personal and professional development is to learn everything we can from the people who have done what we hope to achieve.