caficionado

[caficionado]

takes a deep breath I’m still here with a fuckton of drafts and asks whattup though

[caficionado]

I want to see what NSFW headcanons you have for my character. Go on anon if you’d like. Be as graphic or as vague as you want. If I like it, I’ll accept it.

[caficionado]

I want to make this known; it’s OKAY to flirt with my muse, it’s okay to say flirty things to them, yes, they may not react to it, they may not respond to it positively, but know as a mun I’m 100% OKAY with it. Especially if my muse is clearly attractive appearance wise, go a head, flirt with them, if my muse is your muse’s type, it’s okay to flirt, we don’t have to be shipping, we don’t ever have to ship to have you flirt with my muse; I WON’T think you’re pushing a ship on me either. But I just feel that some people are scared to have their muse be flirty to another because we a muns might take it the wrong way.

I’m not saying this goes for everyone, but I’m letting you know that it doesn’t make me uncomfortable and I’m fine with it.

[caficionado]

und-e-ad replied to your photo: Hey!!! Would anyone be interested in buying these?...

{{ uuughh they’re so cute I wish I had the disposable income, i’d snap them up right away orz }}

[Ah maybe in the future then? I’ve still got a few of each of the dads and I’m looking to get rid of them since I don’t need that many of each LOL]

[caficionado]

Hey!!! Would anyone be interested in buying these? I’ve got ones for all the dads, just have pics of Robert and Mat bc they’re my favourite I had them on hand. DM me/send me an ask/reply to this if u want details!!!

[caficionado]

[I’ve been kind of quiet lately but I’m... Working on all these drafts so I’m sorry it’s all taking so long.]

[caficionado]

❝ I hate you. …I’m kidding. ❞

“Oh, uh… Thanks? Wait, that’s not really a compliment or anything, is it? I just… I’m not sure how to respond to this, how am I supposed to respond to this, Robert?”

[caficionado]

txeres:

              .extended improvement prompt

send a symbol + extra constructive criticism ( if any ) on your view of what i should improve on! i would appreciate the most honest opinion you have, && reblogging this means i will not be offended by any symbols you send in. when sending these in, feel to slight alter some of the symbol meanings - some have options as shown below. writer are always searching for a way to improve, so be kind && try paying mind to the person you reblogged it from

✎ : your vocabulary tends to be bland / repetitive / basic && you should take small steps in introducing more complex words! ✏ : your vocabulary is WAY too complex ; tone down a little so i can understand what you write ✘  : your characterization is a little off ; it varies from canon in a way that isn’t too great ♥  : your romantic threads are awkward && need a little improvement ღ : you’re too harsh on yourself ; i actually like you writing a lot ♒ : needs more figurative language ; you tend to state things directly && that makes it bland ❃ : your punctuation / grammar / spelling needs improvement ( exclude any if not relevant ) ∞ : you should develop your AU ideas more ☄ : your dialogue is ( boring / repetitive / non-canonical ) && needs to be improved on ❖ : you aren’t respectful to your RP partners / followers ✿ : your character is too perfect ; everyone needs SOME flaws ☂ : you focus TOO MUCH on ( smut / angst / romance ) && I would really love to see you write ( insert genre ) ๑  : your writing tends to drag on with unimportant details / you tend to write too much about one particular thing ✄ : you need to improve on ( insert genre ie action / angst ) by ( …insert criticism ) ☼ : try to have confidence in yourself ; sometimes your hesitance holds you back ✉ : ( insert other constructive criticism )

[caficionado]

send one to see how my muse reacts  /  rough ( some nsfw ) edition.

[ press ] to roughly push my muse against the wall.

[ guide ] to roughly grab my muse and pull them into a passionate kiss.

[ yank ] to roughly grab my muses arm preventing them from leaving after an argument.

[ pin ] to roughly grab my muses wrists.

[ tug ] to roughly grab my muses hair.

[ rip ] or [ rip + name clothing piece ]  to roughly rip a piece of clothing off my muse.

[ spank ] to spank my muse.

[ choke ] to choke my muse. 

[ push ] to roughly push my muse onto a bed.

[caficionado]

me: i love roleplaying

me: roleplaying is so fun

me: this is a fun time

me: takes 90 years to reply

[caficionado]

❝ Inject caffeine directly into my veins, please. ❞

“I don’t think that’s a thing I should do- I don’t have the medical expertise or the required medical equipment.But I can get you a cup of coffee or two, maybe that’ll be just as satisfying?”@coolleatherjacket

[caficionado]

❝ If I sit still in one place for like 30 minutes, I will fall asleep. ❞ - @newestdadontheblock

“Really? Your teachers at school must’ve loved you then, huh?”@newestdadontheblock

[caficionado]

shit i say — sentence starters

i decided to make a meme out of all the shit i say regularly. enjoy!

GENERAL SHIT. 

❝ I’M GONNA MCFREAKING LOSE MY MIND. ❞

❝ I’m going to shove an entire baseball bat down my throat and smash my insides. ❞

❝ *aggressive finger guns* ❞

❝ *high pitched screeching* ❞

❝ That’s where you’re right, kiddo. ❞

❝ I AM THE ONE THAT WEIGHS A TON DON’T NEED A GUN— ❞

❝ HECK. ❞

❝ GOTTA FUCKING BLAST. ❞

❝ That’s my cue to blast outta here. ❞

❝ GOT ME MOTHERFUCKING MCSHOOK. ❞

❝ Thoroughly shooken. ❞

❝ LISTEN— ❞ 

❝ Trust me, I’m a professional. ❞

❝ I’m gonna throw myself off of a fucking bridge. ❞

❝ I’m convinced I was a cat in a past life. ❞

❝ Inject caffeine directly into my veins, please. ❞

❝ I literally have a ‘white people voice’ for when I’m being polite. ❞

❝ I sound like a fucking twelve year old. ❞

❝ I got a tiny ass head. It’s like a fucking golf ball. ❞

BITTER SHIT.

❝ _____ is the literal bane of my existence. ❞

❝ I hate you. …I’m kidding. ❞

❝ Yeah, well, he’s/she’s/they’re a manipulative cunt, so. ❞

❝ I’m gonna punch you in the fucking mouth. ❞

❝ I’m small and bitter like an espresso. ❞

❝ I am Denatonium benzoate, aka the most bitter substance on the planet. ❞

❝ *facepalm* ❞

❝ *frustrated groaning* ❞

❝ I hate _____ with every fiber of my being. ❞

❝ I will kick your fucking ass. ❞

❝ Don’t you fucking dare. ❞

❝ I get it, I’m fucking short. ❞

LOVEY SHIT.

❝ You mean a lot to me. Like, seriously, a fucking lot. ❞

❝ I do it because I love you. ❞

❝ *fondly* Fucking nerd. ❞

❝ *fondly* Dumbass. ❞

❝ You are my absolute favorite person. ❞

❝ *heart eyes* ❞

❝ Don’t even fucking think about leaving without giving me a hug. ❞

❝ *whining noises and grabby hands* ❞

❝ There he/she/they go(es), the love of my life. ❞

❝ It’s literally unfair how attractive he/she/they is/are. ❞

❝ Look at how pretty he/she/they is/are, I’m gonna fucking cry. ❞

❝ I just wanna smooch his/her/their face. ❞

❝ JUST LOOK AT HIM/HER/THEM! I’M GONNA SCREAM. ❞

MOM-FRIEND SHIT.

❝ I am mom-friend. ❞

❝ You best not be fucking texting and driving. ❞

❝ Do you want ____? ❞

❝ Please don’t do that, you’re worrying me. ❞

❝ Listen, my job is to make sure everyone else is okay. ❞

❝ ‘Drink water kids!’ I say as I am severely dehydrated. ❞

❝ ____, that’s not good. ❞

❝ Who do I have to fucking fight? ❞ 

ANGSTY SHIT.

❝ I hate myself with every fiber of my being. ❞

❝ I’m just really fucking scared. ❞

❝ I’m sorry that I love you. ❞

❝ I’m sorry that I’m like this. ❞

❝ What’s wrong with me? ❞

❝ God, this happens every fucking time. ❞

❝ I loved her/him/them. And she/he/they fucking abandoned me. ❞

❝ I don’t know what I’m doing. ❞

❝ Why the fuck am I crying? ❞

❝ I’m getting bad again. ❞

❝ It’s like everything goes in one ear, out the other with you. ❞

❝ I’ve told you time and fucking time again that it makes me feel like shit, and yet you still do it. ❞

❝ I look and feel like absolute shit. ❞

❝ It’s nothing, I’m fine. ❞

SLEEPY SHIT.

❝ I’m so fucking exhausted. ❞

❝ I really wanna just sleep. ❞

❝ I need to just sleep for like 17 years. ❞

❝ I could literally fall asleep anywhere. ❞

❝ I���m gonna pass out in the middle of the hallway. ❞

❝ I’m already fucking tired. ❞

❝ If I sit still in one place for like 30 minutes, I will fall asleep. ❞

❝ Can I just nap instead? ❞

[caficionado]

continues to... look at my hands

[caficionado]

“Has a stranger ever complimented your eyes? Because one’s about to.” //this is a weird first interaction hello? aoefinafwe

“Oh! I, um… No, I’ve never had a stranger compliment me on my eyes before- That’s really nice of you to say that and same. I mean, same with the complimenting thing, as in I’m going to compliment your eyes as well.I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m kind of flustered right now, sorry, I do really appreciate your compliment though, I hope I’m not making it weird by talking too much.”@antiquexbeast

[caficionado]

Honestly, bod like that, you could do whatever the fuck you wanted to me, but if I had to pick? I would /love/ to ride you.

“Well, it’s nice to know that people feel this way about my 'bod' even though I don’t work out as much as Craig does-Or at all these days, really.”

[caficionado]

before I divulge...I need to know Mat, would you prefer to top or bottom or are you versatile?

“I’ve, um… Never really thought about that much, so I guess I’ll say versatile?”