burtatethebees

[burtatethebees]

January 7, 2020

School started on Monday. I don’t have anybody I’m friends with in my classes again. This is just like last year, except that I have C lunch, so I can sit with Rebecca. But Ian (not the hot one) also sits with her and I’m not a fan. I think I should go sit in the library so I can do my Algebra HW but I don't want to hurt Becca’s feelings. 

I got Ms. Winston as my Algebra 2 teacher, which is really good. I had her for Geometry. My Culinary teacher is cool. We’re gonna get to cook next Tuesday. My Chem class is FULL of freshmen. They all know eachother and I only know two. Abby and Ryan. Abby was in my chorus class last semester. Ryan (formarly Duncan) was Jay’s bestfriend’s brother. We used to be friends. He was the first person to make me play MInecraft, subciquintly shaping my entire childhood. We partnered in a group today. It was a group of four. Only one other guy stood out. He’s kinda weird. He was making dark humor jokes, which is fine, but when we started to learn about the gas hookups he was outlining how he could blow up the school. Hes probaly just showing off cause I encouraged his jokes, but it weirded me out just a little. 

I haven’t written anything but htese entries since the start of the year. I don’t feel comfortable writting smut on my desktop. I think it’s cuase I feel like I can cover what I’m doing easier on my laptop.

[burtatethebees]

I watched season 2 and 3 of the Dragon Prince today. Gotta say Aaravos is sexy as fuck. Mark me down as scared and horny. His voice is a real juxtaposition, but also, hot as hell. I think I’m pining too much. I’ve been latching onto a lot of guys recently. Ian, Aaravos, Chris (little bit), Timothee Chalamet. I think it’s because I’m getting close to the fertile phase of my cycle. It’s a little dumb but I really like ABO, so I kinda think of it like my heat. I want to cuddle someone, but I also want to get fucked hard. I writing some vampire! Aizawa fic currently. I want it to be hot and I want people to like me. I haven't ever written hard smut before, so good luck to me. It was a good day.

January 5, 2020

SO i had a crazy dream. I was driving with my mom and she told me to go down this road so we could visit my weird eccentric uncle. He’s rick and lives in this crazy huge mansion. We go into the kitchen and there are three guys. One is like a protegee or something. He is Timothee Chalamet. The uncle comes down and tells us that we’re gonna go to the production of some show he runs. He reenacts some scenes in it. He asks Jay and me about what we want to do. MY uncle tries to get me and Timothee together. We go to the theatre and watch the show. But my uncle makes me go on stage and perform the last scene of the show. I try my best to remember what he did earlier but I guess I fuck it up. When its over we do that dow a the end of the show. Timothee gets a ton of roses tossed at him. I was planning on being smooth and picking one up to give to him later but my uncle calls us over and accuses me of being a spy for his rival because I didn’t get the scene right., Timothee glares at me Jay puts me in a fucking headlock cause in this she want to be an actress. MY uncle blacklists my entire family from any acting school. I plead with him and try to chase after Timothee, who had left, but he’s gone. This was a really weird dream, I wish I really had a rich as fuck uncle.

[burtatethebees]

January 5, 2020

SO i had a crazy dream. I was driving with my mom and she told me to go down this road so we could visit my weird eccentric uncle. He’s rick and lives in this crazy huge mansion. We go into the kitchen and there are three guys. One is like a protegee or something. He is Timothee Chalamet. The uncle comes down and tells us that we’re gonna go to the production of some show he runs. He reenacts some scenes in it. He asks Jay and me about what we want to do. MY uncle tries to get me and Timothee together. We go to the theatre and watch the show. But my uncle makes me go on stage and perform the last scene of the show. I try my best to remember what he did earlier but I guess I fuck it up. When its over we do that dow a the end of the show. Timothee gets a ton of roses tossed at him. I was planning on being smooth and picking one up to give to him later but my uncle calls us over and accuses me of being a spy for his rival because I didn't get the scene right., Timothee glares at me Jay puts me in a fucking headlock cause in this she want to be an actress. MY uncle blacklists my entire family from any acting school. I plead with him and try to chase after Timothee, who had left, but he's gone. This was a really weird dream, I wish I really had a rich as fuck uncle.

[burtatethebees]

I had a dream last night about just sitting on a couch, being held by someone. I couldn’t tell who it was exactly, but it kinda looked like Ian or my cousin, Hayden. This is weird, but I had been thinking about him because Jay is gonna sell her car to him. I want someone to hold me and love me so bad. I want to sit on the couch and cuddle someone. I want to watch stars and hold hands, and sit next to each other at a cafe and share tea. I just want someone to love me. I’m so lonely. 

January4, 2020

Happy New Year!

I spent news years with my sister in her trailer in the woods with her friends from Conserve, Ian, Cecelia, Eli, and Chris. Ian is really funny and kinda hot. In my Smart Brain, I know that this is the typical period in a friendship with a guy where I’m infatuated with them, but my Stupid Brain says he would hold me very good. 

We went into downtown Athens on the first day of three. We played Ultimate frisbee in a historic field at UGA. I ran a lot, which was a really bad idea cause I’m really fragile. I was sore in my hip for the rest of the night and my while legs for the rest of the weeks. Ian and Eli took their shirts off to play, who knows why truely, but it was a little hot. Eli is kinda Thicc and not my type, but Ian is My Type. He’s my heightish, a little bit taller, so like 5′ 7-8″. He’s got abs and is just all around Lean and Strong. His veins on his arms are really nice. I don’t know why that’s hot to so many girls, but I’m not complaining about it. 

Yeah but later that night we left the field and walked around downtown. We were gonna get Ian to pretend to be a psychic and get some money, but Jay shoved the sign in a little garden for us to get later and we never went back. We went into a cool boutique/junk store. I was browsing and Jay almost left me there, like if I hadn’t heard her say to the clerk that it was good to see them again I wouldn’t have noticed they left the building. We went to Waffle House, but I couldn’t finish my food so I gave it to Ian. The lady working there was sassy. We met up with Shazam, as mom calls him, after Waffle house. We walked around some more and then Jay asked Shazam if he was parked at a meter or free parking, so we had to go check. The whole group kinda separated on accident. Ian and Chris ran off to slide down some rails. Eli and I went off to go with them, and Jay, Cecelia, and Shazam went to go find his truck. Ian and Chris saw that Jay was leaving and decided to run away after the rest of the group. Eli and I chased after them but we lost them cause they probably pulled some spiderman move and were jumping across rooftops or something. So Eli and I got lost. We went back to the Waffle house cause that’s kinda the direction they were going to get to Shazam’s truck. 

We went back to the field after we moved Shazam’s truck to free parking. We played some more frisbee. Jay ran into Ian trying to catch the frisbee and got a bloody nose. She couldn’t drive so when we left Chris drove the minivan back home. Eli and Ian were gonna come with us, but they decided to walk home, like weirdos. It took them like an hour and a half. Chris accidentally drove the whole four miles with the parking brake on, totally fucking up the brake in the process. At one point he asked “why is the brake light on?” but my brain didn’t process what that meant and so I didn’t say anything. He doesn’t use the parking brake on his car so he didn’t know what it meant. 

When we got home, we went into the camper and Jay gave Shazam his Christmas present. He got a Llama Popper which shot foam ball out of a llama mouth. We killed time until Eli and Ian got back.

We hung out around the fire that Jay built. I sat on a wool blanket next to Ian. I wish that I knew them better so I could have sat closer and perhaps, maybe, cuddled a little. He did with Chris and Eli. We went into the camper after a little bit to watch movies. We watched Shameless, which I was really not into. We lied on the floor on the camper, I WAS between Cecelia and Ian but Jay cut in and told Ian to move over. Lame ass, cockblock lol. I left after a little bit and sat in my tent for a bit. I came back and just kinda chilled on my phone until the countdown for New Years. We went outside for the countdown. We were all huddled cause it was Very cold. I stood next to Ian. My Stupid Brain wanted to kiss him. 

We went back inside and watched Love, Death, and Robots. I watched it all but I’m not into it. It was really gory and there was a lot of animated dicks. Ian likes the show. When it was 2 am I went back out to my tent to go to sleep. I had to spend like five minutes combing my hair because it got so tangled from the hat I was wearing that day. I went to sleep and had a dream vaguely about love.

The next morning I woke up at 8. I was the only one up in the main area. Shazam was up and came done a little after I woke up. I helped him build a fire. When the rest woke up we fucked around killing time for a few hours. Ian made tea in a wine bottle on the open fire. Ian, Chris, Eli, and Shazam had a wood-splitting contest. Ian kept putting random shit in the fire. Cecelia and I hung out in Chris’ hammock. We eventually went back into town and got nachos. This was the beginning of a shitshow. I put in 5$ for the nachos since Jay got one with chicken and no pepper or onions for me. I went to the bathroom cause there aren’t any real ones at her camper. When I got back nearly all the nachos were gone. The boys had vacuumed them up in like 5 minutes. I was hungry but too much of a pussy to get up and order my own taco. Now, in retrospect, I have NO IDEA why I didn’t. So I condemned myself to be hungry for like five hours. We left the taco stand and wandered around Athens for a while. We went to a construction site. We lost Cecelia and none of the others seemed to be worried about her. They finally realized what could have happened to her like half an hour later so we went to go find her. We found her at a Subway. 

Ian needed a suitcase so we went to a thrift store. I finally got some flannels, but I was still pissed so I didn’t really talk to the rest of the group for a while. I told Jay how I felt and she told me “too bad”. So that sucked. I bought my flannels and we left. We went to a Graveyard and I stormed off but decided I didn’t want to get lost so I went back. We used Ian’s spirit box to talk to some ghosts. We tried in two different locations. They were really active in the second place. I don’t know who we were talking to, but I was nice cause I got to sit really close to Ian so I could hear the box. After we were done, we lied down in the leaves by the grave we were sitting next to. The group, excluding me, all pile on each other, but I felt like I didn’t know them well enough to do that. I lied perpendicular to Ian with my head on his chest/arm, which was Very Nice. We listen to a true-crime podcast, but we had to stop cause there were footsteps and Cecelia and I got spooked. It turned out to be a deer, but we left soon after. 

We went dumpster-diving. We drove around a plaza cause Jay wanted to find Michael’s. They stopped at the Starbuck and got bounced to go get me some food finally. I got Willy’s. I shouldn’t have gotten the adobe chicken, I normally do, but this location was much spicier. While I was eating Ian pulled up and adventure AI. Eli chose the options and Ian read them. He was a mental patient and summoned some demons, burned to death, met god, and woke up. He ate the toes of some lady and then ate her whole body. Then the story ended. 

We went back home. We sat around the fire at the Kitchen Pavilion and listened to Podcasts. We listened to something Eli had about getting kidnapped into a meat factory, it was really funny, and Welcome To Nightvale. Then we all kinda drifted off back to camp and fell asleep.

I woke up early again the next day. The ground was wet so I didn’t want to sit down, so I just stood and zoned out stared at the trees. I went back to my tent cause I was kinda cold, but Ian and Cecelia woke up right after so I came back out. Ian told me he saw me kinda just staring at the trees, which means he was watching me at least a little from the camper. They sat in Chris’ hammock under the rainfly. It looked like and leaf. Ian told me to tell him a deep, dark secret like it was a confessional. I instantly went to “I think you’re hot as hell.” but I didn’t say that, obviously. So I told them that I think Angie is gonna drop me in the new year. I complained about the color guard at school and told them how the Horticulture club is gonna try to take over another club. I had a lot of fun talking to them, but then Jay woke up. We fucked around for a while and then got stuff together to leave. We packed into the car and left. At this point, it was just me, Jay, Chris, Ian, and Cecelia. We went to Brent’s house. On the way there they talked about stuff they did at conserve. They took the BDSM test I guess, so Ian asked Jay What she got. Chris was top 2, dom and sadist, which he doesn’t look like at all, but it’s always the ones you don’t suspect. Ian didn’t say, I wish he had. I took it in the car while they were talking. I got Brat and primal (prey) as my top two. I REALLY wish Ian had said what he got. 

 I am not a big fan of being at Brent’s place since it was my Grandpa’s house. Brent is changing everything and he got two roommates. The whole house smells like cigs. The art is different. So I started tearing up almost as soon as we got there. It was the first time I had been back there since we came to get furniture, and only the 2nd time I had been there after Grandpa died. I started texting my mom about how I was sad. She called me and I went outside and cried to her. I hung up and composed myself enough to come back inside. Mom called Jay and told her how I felt. I was gonna try to catch Jay before she came back inside so I could talk to her. I cried again outside on her shoulder. She told me we would go home soon. She called me her baby sister in front of her friends again, which I don’t like. We sat in a circle and chatted, I forget about what. I felt better while I was distracted. Brent woke up eventually. We played a lot of foosball. 

We went home eventually to my house. We sat in the basement and watched some sexy anime, then murder stories. We moved on to conspiracy theories. Ian suggested a show called Undone. I liked it but we stopped watching after two episodes cause they kept talking over it. They started talking about shit I didn’t understand so I went upstairs and cried cause I felt left out. My mom let me cry to her for like 20 minutes, then I ate some soup and felt better. I didn’t want to go back down cause they were talking about shared-stores and I wouldn’t have been included. I texted Jay about how I felt and she apologized. I went to sleep and missed them all leaving in the morning by like 20 minutes. I was sad about that but I followed Ian on Insta, so we’re good. He followed me back and I sent him some memes. He liked them :). 

Yesterday I played a lot of video games to recover from camping. I read some good ass fanfic too. There was one with Levi from Attack on Titan, which I’ve recently gotten into. After my grandpa died I came home and devoured a lot of shows from my queue in Funimation, then I started reading it in the school library. So anyway, the fic was about Levi and his cadet girlfriend. The Reader accidentally gets a shot of essentially a pregnancy imitating drug. So she and Levi can’t fuck because she’s super fertile. She starts lactating because of the drug and so she needs Levi to drink the milk from her to stop it from hurting. Hot as fuck, hell yeah. 

Weird to go from Epic SMut to Family Time but in the afternoon, we went to have lunch with Shauna and Tala. Tala’s 5th birthday was on the 29th and we hadn’t seen her. We got her some belated Christmas/Birthday presents. She thought the Creatures of Star Wars book was for her little brother, Eliot (9 months). I built her Frozen lego set for her and we played Elsa and Ana. We went upstairs to her room to play Calico Critters. That didn’t last long, oh the attention span of a five-year-old. We played animal battle, which was just us throwing stuffed animals at each other. Justin came up to say hey and totally annihilated me and Tala with stuffed cat toys. We left after that.

 I wish I could see Eliot and Tala more often. When Tala was a baby we were with her constantly. We babysat her like three times a week. She loves me so much. She’s the sweetest little girl. Eliot is really clingy right now. He doesn’t let anyone but Shauna hold him and he hates to be out of eyeshot of her. I want to hold him. 

We went to see Cats that afternoon. It was ok. Not as bad as people have been saying, but it wasn’t Good. It kinda just exists. I am ashamed to say it but I kinda thought that Mr. Mistoffelees was kinda hot. Just the way he acted. I like guys who are kinda sad and lonely. I guess I’m a furry. Shit happens.

Today I woke up and read a fic about Kylo Ren (RIP) totally destroying his assistant and breaking up her engagement just he wants to smash. Hot. 

I went to my Grandma’s with my dad. I drove there. That was the longest I’ve ever driven and also the biggest road I’ve driven on. We took down her Christmas Deco and looked through a lot of old cookbooks and recipes from the 70′s. She gave me some and Dad wants to put together a cookbook with O’Neil recipes. I think that’s cool. I got some recipe cards for Christmas from Dad, so I’m gonna start my own recipe box. 

Our dryer caught on fire this evening. That was fun. We’re having some money issues, so I don’t know how we’re gonna replace it. I’m just glad I did all my laundry this morning. 

[burtatethebees]

January4, 2020

Happy New Year!

I spent news years with my sister in her trailer in the woods with her friends from Conserve, Ian, Cecelia, Eli, and Chris. Ian is really funny and kinda hot. In my Smart Brain, I know that this is the typical period in a friendship with a guy where I’m infatuated with them, but my Stupid Brain says he would hold me very good. 

We went into downtown Athens on the first day of three. We played Ultimate frisbee in a historic field at UGA. I ran a lot, which was a really bad idea cause I’m really fragile. I was sore in my hip for the rest of the night and my while legs for the rest of the weeks. Ian and Eli took their shirts off to play, who knows why truely, but it was a little hot. Eli is kinda Thicc and not my type, but Ian is My Type. He’s my heightish, a little bit taller, so like 5′ 7-8″. He’s got abs and is just all around Lean and Strong. His veins on his arms are really nice. I don’t know why that's hot to so many girls, but I’m not complaining about it. 

Yeah but later that night we left the field and walked around downtown. We were gonna get Ian to pretend to be a psychic and get some money, but Jay shoved the sign in a little garden for us to get later and we never went back. We went into a cool boutique/junk store. I was browsing and Jay almost left me there, like if I hadn’t heard her say to the clerk that it was good to see them again I wouldn’t have noticed they left the building. We went to Waffle House, but I couldn't finish my food so I gave it to Ian. The lady working there was sassy. We met up with Shazam, as mom calls him, after Waffle house. We walked around some more and then Jay asked Shazam if he was parked at a meter or free parking, so we had to go check. The whole group kinda separated on accident. Ian and Chris ran off to slide down some rails. Eli and I went off to go with them, and Jay, Cecelia, and Shazam went to go find his truck. Ian and Chris saw that Jay was leaving and decided to run away after the rest of the group. Eli and I chased after them but we lost them cause they probably pulled some spiderman move and were jumping across rooftops or something. So Eli and I got lost. We went back to the Waffle house cause that's kinda the direction they were going to get to Shazam’s truck. 

We went back to the field after we moved Shazam’s truck to free parking. We played some more frisbee. Jay ran into Ian trying to catch the frisbee and got a bloody nose. She couldn’t drive so when we left Chris drove the minivan back home. Eli and Ian were gonna come with us, but they decided to walk home, like weirdos. It took them like an hour and a half. Chris accidentally drove the whole four miles with the parking brake on, totally fucking up the brake in the process. At one point he asked “why is the brake light on?” but my brain didn't process what that meant and so I didn't say anything. He doesn’t use the parking brake on his car so he didn’t know what it meant. 

When we got home, we went into the camper and Jay gave Shazam his Christmas present. He got a Llama Popper which shot foam ball out of a llama mouth. We killed time until Eli and Ian got back.

We hung out around the fire that Jay built. I sat on a wool blanket next to Ian. I wish that I knew them better so I could have sat closer and perhaps, maybe, cuddled a little. He did with Chris and Eli. We went into the camper after a little bit to watch movies. We watched Shameless, which I was really not into. We lied on the floor on the camper, I WAS between Cecelia and Ian but Jay cut in and told Ian to move over. Lame ass, cockblock lol. I left after a little bit and sat in my tent for a bit. I came back and just kinda chilled on my phone until the countdown for New Years. We went outside for the countdown. We were all huddled cause it was Very cold. I stood next to Ian. My Stupid Brain wanted to kiss him. 

We went back inside and watched Love, Death, and Robots. I watched it all but I’m not into it. It was really gory and there was a lot of animated dicks. Ian likes the show. When it was 2 am I went back out to my tent to go to sleep. I had to spend like five minutes combing my hair because it got so tangled from the hat I was wearing that day. I went to sleep and had a dream vaguely about love.

The next morning I woke up at 8. I was the only one up in the main area. Shazam was up and came done a little after I woke up. I helped him build a fire. When the rest woke up we fucked around killing time for a few hours. Ian made tea in a wine bottle on the open fire. Ian, Chris, Eli, and Shazam had a wood-splitting contest. Ian kept putting random shit in the fire. Cecelia and I hung out in Chris’ hammock. We eventually went back into town and got nachos. This was the beginning of a shitshow. I put in 5$ for the nachos since Jay got one with chicken and no pepper or onions for me. I went to the bathroom cause there aren't any real ones at her camper. When I got back nearly all the nachos were gone. The boys had vacuumed them up in like 5 minutes. I was hungry but too much of a pussy to get up and order my own taco. Now, in retrospect, I have NO IDEA why I didn’t. So I condemned myself to be hungry for like five hours. We left the taco stand and wandered around Athens for a while. We went to a construction site. We lost Cecelia and none of the others seemed to be worried about her. They finally realized what could have happened to her like half an hour later so we went to go find her. We found her at a Subway. 

Ian needed a suitcase so we went to a thrift store. I finally got some flannels, but I was still pissed so I didn’t really talk to the rest of the group for a while. I told Jay how I felt and she told me “too bad”. So that sucked. I bought my flannels and we left. We went to a Graveyard and I stormed off but decided I didn’t want to get lost so I went back. We used Ian’s spirit box to talk to some ghosts. We tried in two different locations. They were really active in the second place. I don't know who we were talking to, but I was nice cause I got to sit really close to Ian so I could hear the box. After we were done, we lied down in the leaves by the grave we were sitting next to. The group, excluding me, all pile on each other, but I felt like I didn’t know them well enough to do that. I lied perpendicular to Ian with my head on his chest/arm, which was Very Nice. We listen to a true-crime podcast, but we had to stop cause there were footsteps and Cecelia and I got spooked. It turned out to be a deer, but we left soon after. 

We went dumpster-diving. We drove around a plaza cause Jay wanted to find Michael’s. They stopped at the Starbuck and got bounced to go get me some food finally. I got Willy’s. I shouldn’t have gotten the adobe chicken, I normally do, but this location was much spicier. While I was eating Ian pulled up and adventure AI. Eli chose the options and Ian read them. He was a mental patient and summoned some demons, burned to death, met god, and woke up. He ate the toes of some lady and then ate her whole body. Then the story ended. 

We went back home. We sat around the fire at the Kitchen Pavilion and listened to Podcasts. We listened to something Eli had about getting kidnapped into a meat factory, it was really funny, and Welcome To Nightvale. Then we all kinda drifted off back to camp and fell asleep.

I woke up early again the next day. The ground was wet so I didn’t want to sit down, so I just stood and zoned out stared at the trees. I went back to my tent cause I was kinda cold, but Ian and Cecelia woke up right after so I came back out. Ian told me he saw me kinda just staring at the trees, which means he was watching me at least a little from the camper. They sat in Chris’ hammock under the rainfly. It looked like and leaf. Ian told me to tell him a deep, dark secret like it was a confessional. I instantly went to “I think you’re hot as hell.” but I didn’t say that, obviously. So I told them that I think Angie is gonna drop me in the new year. I complained about the color guard at school and told them how the Horticulture club is gonna try to take over another club. I had a lot of fun talking to them, but then Jay woke up. We fucked around for a while and then got stuff together to leave. We packed into the car and left. At this point, it was just me, Jay, Chris, Ian, and Cecelia. We went to Brent’s house. On the way there they talked about stuff they did at conserve. They took the BDSM test I guess, so Ian asked Jay What she got. Chris was top 2, dom and sadist, which he doesn't look like at all, but it’s always the ones you don’t suspect. Ian didn’t say, I wish he had. I took it in the car while they were talking. I got Brat and primal (prey) as my top two. I REALLY wish Ian had said what he got. 

 I am not a big fan of being at Brent’s place since it was my Grandpa’s house. Brent is changing everything and he got two roommates. The whole house smells like cigs. The art is different. So I started tearing up almost as soon as we got there. It was the first time I had been back there since we came to get furniture, and only the 2nd time I had been there after Grandpa died. I started texting my mom about how I was sad. She called me and I went outside and cried to her. I hung up and composed myself enough to come back inside. Mom called Jay and told her how I felt. I was gonna try to catch Jay before she came back inside so I could talk to her. I cried again outside on her shoulder. She told me we would go home soon. She called me her baby sister in front of her friends again, which I don’t like. We sat in a circle and chatted, I forget about what. I felt better while I was distracted. Brent woke up eventually. We played a lot of foosball. 

We went home eventually to my house. We sat in the basement and watched some sexy anime, then murder stories. We moved on to conspiracy theories. Ian suggested a show called Undone. I liked it but we stopped watching after two episodes cause they kept talking over it. They started talking about shit I didn’t understand so I went upstairs and cried cause I felt left out. My mom let me cry to her for like 20 minutes, then I ate some soup and felt better. I didn’t want to go back down cause they were talking about shared-stores and I wouldn’t have been included. I texted Jay about how I felt and she apologized. I went to sleep and missed them all leaving in the morning by like 20 minutes. I was sad about that but I followed Ian on Insta, so we’re good. He followed me back and I sent him some memes. He liked them :). 

Yesterday I played a lot of video games to recover from camping. I read some good ass fanfic too. There was one with Levi from Attack on Titan, which I’ve recently gotten into. After my grandpa died I came home and devoured a lot of shows from my queue in Funimation, then I started reading it in the school library. So anyway, the fic was about Levi and his cadet girlfriend. The Reader accidentally gets a shot of essentially a pregnancy imitating drug. So she and Levi can't fuck because she’s super fertile. She starts lactating because of the drug and so she needs Levi to drink the milk from her to stop it from hurting. Hot as fuck, hell yeah. 

Weird to go from Epic SMut to Family Time but in the afternoon, we went to have lunch with Shauna and Tala. Tala’s 5th birthday was on the 29th and we hadn’t seen her. We got her some belated Christmas/Birthday presents. She thought the Creatures of Star Wars book was for her little brother, Eliot (9 months). I built her Frozen lego set for her and we played Elsa and Ana. We went upstairs to her room to play Calico Critters. That didn't last long, oh the attention span of a five-year-old. We played animal battle, which was just us throwing stuffed animals at each other. Justin came up to say hey and totally annihilated me and Tala with stuffed cat toys. We left after that.

 I wish I could see Eliot and Tala more often. When Tala was a baby we were with her constantly. We babysat her like three times a week. She loves me so much. She’s the sweetest little girl. Eliot is really clingy right now. He doesn’t let anyone but Shauna hold him and he hates to be out of eyeshot of her. I want to hold him. 

We went to see Cats that afternoon. It was ok. Not as bad as people have been saying, but it wasn't Good. It kinda just exists. I am ashamed to say it but I kinda thought that Mr. Mistoffelees was kinda hot. Just the way he acted. I like guys who are kinda sad and lonely. I guess I’m a furry. Shit happens.

Today I woke up and read a fic about Kylo Ren (RIP) totally destroying his assistant and breaking up her engagement just he wants to smash. Hot. 

I went to my Grandma’s with my dad. I drove there. That was the longest I’ve ever driven and also the biggest road I’ve driven on. We took down her Christmas Deco and looked through a lot of old cookbooks and recipes from the 70′s. She gave me some and Dad wants to put together a cookbook with O’Neil recipes. I think that’s cool. I got some recipe cards for Christmas from Dad, so I’m gonna start my own recipe box. 

Our dryer caught on fire this evening. That was fun. We’re having some money issues, so I don’t know how we’re gonna replace it. I’m just glad I did all my laundry this morning. 

[burtatethebees]

nov 4 2019

my grandpa died this afternoon. My mom said it was quiet and leaceful and that he knew. He wasnt uoset about it, I m glad i dont have school tomorrow

[burtatethebees]

October 29, 2019

So my grandpa is ok so far. We didn’t go to the hospital today, but my mom is going tomorrow and my dad and I are gonna try to go this weekend.

I got my dress for the AWA ball on Saturday back from the alterations place today. It's still a little too tight in the chest but I think I’ll be fine. I don’t have anyone to go with me so I”m afraid I’ll have to fend off creepy guys all night. That happened last year but my friend Cassie was there with me so I just said I was taking a break from dancing with my date. I don't have anyone to pretend I’m dating this year. The ball is a lot of big anime nerds. Mostly the fancy neckbeards, the ones who freak me out the most. When I dress up I don’t look 16. People tend to think I'm a little older and flirt with me. It really scares me cause I don't know how to say no. 

Also, I won't have anyone to hang out with me. My friend Gwen MIGHT me be going. I asked her about it a few months ago and she said she had tickets to the ball, but I asked again today and she said she only had tickets to the con. My sister might be going if I can convince her to shell out 35 dollars to get a ticket at the door. I just don’t want to be alone. 

I’m really excited about Halloween. I’m being Wednesday Addams at school and maybe Link for trick or treating and handing out candy. My sister is coming to the Horticulture party as her Spirit of the Forest costume from her job. I’m really excited to see her on Thursday. She lives in Athens now for her job and she doesn't visit very often. 

I think we’re gonna watch BNHA at my house after the parade in my neighborhood to catch Becca up. 

[burtatethebees]

October 28, 2019

I was supposed to go on a field trip with my horticulture teacher on Friday :( It was canceled and he didn't tell me. We were gonna go to a dairy farm with the Culinary class and the Horticulture club officers. He said that he told TYLER and that he thought we were next to him.

I saw Spirited Away with Rebecca yesterday. I was SUPER good! It was way longer than I thought it was going to be since it's animated and all. There were a lot of plots going but I liked them all. Haku is super sweet and in the dub, his voice kinda doesn't fit but I like him a lot. Chihiro is really cute too. 

Next month I'm seeing Princess Mononoke, hopefully with Rebecca also. 

But sadder than seeing a movie is that my grandpa is in the hospital again. He has mucus in his lungs and can't cough it up to get it out. He had a procedure today to try and help but it went wrong and he’s not doing well. I’m going over with my mom tomorrow after school to see him. I hope that he’s fine for my mom’s sake. I feel bad because I’m not worrying as much as I think i should be. When my Oma died a long time I was broken-hearted for months. I was sad when she was alive and I thought about what would happen if her cancer got worse. But with my grandpa, I’m only sad that when I’m talking to my mom about him or I’m thinking about him directly. But I get over it as soon as I shake it from my mind. 

[burtatethebees]

October 27, 2019

wow, boys its been forever. I’m not surprised that I stopped writing on this blog. I’m not good at keeping up with things. 

So run down of some things happening in my life 

- There’s a boy I’m pretty sure is super into me, BUT I’m not really into him. I was low-key into him like two weeks ago but now that I've thought about it, I’ve realized again that I don't want to boyfriend because IM SCARED OF COMMITMENT! YAY

-We have a Halloween party scheduled for next week at the Club. IDK if anyone is gonna show up with snacks and stuff for the party though. We haven’t advertised it well enough I think. I hope people show up. I think we’re gonna watch Nightmare Before Christmas.

-My friends and I have started the Tyler Hate Club in our Horticulture class. He’s been saying weird things to me in class. We were talking about how you shouldn’t fertilize plants with human feces because the medicine people take mostly comes out in their feces so your plants will have traces of medicine in them. So he turns to me and says “your tomatoes will have birth control in them”. So what the fuck was that. That’s just really weird and uncomfortable. He DMs me on Instagram a lot about my stories. I put a picture of a mug my friend got me for my birthday that has a cat figure in the middle with the caption ‘what’s he thinking’. Tyler responds to my story saying ‘he’s horny’! That’s fucked up man. After that, I told him to stop projecting onto my cat mug. I posted something about the new BHNA season. It was a screencap of the big three in the new intro saying ‘Do I? Love? You?’. He said ‘yes’ i said ‘no’ he told me I was capping. I said I was telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He’s 18 and I just turn 16. Age gaps of two years aren't that much but in high school, it's too much. I’m very clearly not into him, but I think he’s finally got the message. He’s stopped talking to me in class and I blocked him from my story. I muted his DMs with me so I don’t see if he messages me. I can’t block him cause we’re officers in the same club and he might need to tell me something about the club. 

- I started writing some more fiction. My first WIP, which prolly won't ever get finished, is about a girl in a witch school being stalked by a hot faerie boy. I’m trying to set it up as the beginning and a kinda funny meet-cute for them and it’s might be kinda like Tangled and how that was Flynn telling a bedtime story to their kids. Or maybe it will turn in an origin for them sneaking out on a cute date. That was my first idea.

-I’m going to see Spirited Away with Rebecca today. The AMCs around us do a Ghibli festival every year. This is the first time I’ve gone to it though. Last year I  only caught Ponyo. 

I say this every time I post but I really do want to make this a habit. It feels nice to be able to rant to the illusion of somebody. I can only rant about the same shit to my friends so many times before it gets old.

[burtatethebees]

September 2, 2019

So I got a Minecraft server a while ago. Tyler joined and annoyed the hell out of me nearly from the beginning. Tyler is a senior at my high school. He part of the Horticulture Club, and an annoying and stupid teenage boy. So I gave him op so he could teleport to the other people in the server if I wasn't on. IU told him not to be stupid with it and guess fucking what he did! He was stupid with it. I can see the chat from the server management page in Chrome. So there I see him talking to our friend Justice about using Spectator mode to find diamonds. We had JUST busted someone else for using an xray to get stacks on stacks of diamonds. I told him that if anyone cheated on my server they would get the ban. This bitch is SUPRISED when I ban him? Come ON! 

So I banned him for the weekend and then as soon as he got back on today he went to my village and build a GIANT oak wood box about 100 blocks fro the village and 28 blocks from the beginning of my castle projects. He was all like you can't even see it, or it’s on a hill. First, the hill makes it MORE visible not less. And second IT was SO CLOSE to my castle. Like WHAT THE FUCK MAN. IT WAS ONLY 28 BLOCKS AWAY!!!

So I burned the box down and gave him some logs so he could rebuild it somewhere far far away from my village and castle. He started to rebuild it in a mountain over Noah’s base. NOW he’s a few hundred blocks away from my village. Now it’s Noah’s problem. 

[burtatethebees]

August 25, 2019

what’s up boys. I’m going to see My Neighbor Totoro today with my dad. Becca was supposed to come with, but she kept forgetting to ask her mom. There aren't that many seats left anyway. When dad got our tickets there were only three seats left and we got two. I’ve never seen that movie before so I’m pretty excited. I’ve only seen one Studio Ghibli movie before, Ponyo, and it was my favorite when I was a kid. The movie theaters are doing a year-round Ghibli festival, so I’m going to see one movie a month. Next month is The Secret World of Arriety.  That looks really cool. I love The Borrowers. 

[burtatethebees]

Oh, update on Steven. I don’t care for him anymore. This other guy Eli on the other hand... Sadly cute AND funny AND into minecraft :). Downside, he’s a freshmen. But thats not the worst thing in the world, he’s just sorta immature. 

August 21, 2019

wow, I can’t believe I forgot about this for so long. IT’s been same old same old pretty but, school-wise. Today was picture day. I didn’t dress up like last year. I just wore my regular. 

MINECRAFT 

Once again another thing that I’ll probably think is cringy if i look back at this in ten years or something.

So, If I remember I might keep writing in this, but today I can’t think of anything.

[burtatethebees]

August 21, 2019

wow, I can’t believe I forgot about this for so long. IT’s been same old same old pretty but, school-wise. Today was picture day. I didn’t dress up like last year. I just wore my regular. 

MINECRAFT 

Once again another thing that I’ll probably think is cringy if i look back at this in ten years or something.

So, If I remember I might keep writing in this, but today I can't think of anything.

[burtatethebees]

August 2, 2019

So none of my friends are in my classes. Rebecca is in my horticulture class, but that’s it. My chorus class is full of freshmen who are REALLY loud. My head has been hurting all. I think it’s because I’ve been putting my head in my hand so prop it up. 

There’s a new boy on my bus. His name is Steven. He’s unfortunately cute. I wasn’t planning on having a crush so soon in the new year. His birthday is the same as mine. He’s got curly brown hair and that whiteboyofthemonth look all around. He’s from NYC and just moved here. 

[burtatethebees]

July 31, 2019

So school starts tomorrow. I’m hyped but, like, really upset that summer is over. I have my favorite teacher for the first semester. I think he’s really sweet and kinda cute. That makes me as bad as the teacher kink girls, doesn't it? So I’m gonna absolutely not embrace a teacher kink this year cause that’s gross as hell. 

My friend is in that class with me and we’re going to raise hell and be chaotic as FUCK. d

I got my schedule fixed finally. 

I’m making cookies. 

I’ve been playing Minecraft a ton. So, uh, creeper? AW MAN. That’s gonna be a dead meme if I ever read these back. 

I decided to live in the mountains. It’s right next to a big ass village. My villagers kept fucking dying though, so I built a wall around them to keep them safe. I’ve been breeding my villagers to replace the one that died from being stupid as hell. I think I’ve got all the important types of villagers. 

I still haven’t built myself a house yet though. Eventually. 

I started watching Game of Thrones. I really like Jon Snow and would be read the fuck out of some fanfic for him if I wasn’t so early in the series. Daenerys is rad as fuck. I like her storyline the best so far. Jason Momoa is hot as fuck. I’m watching the seventh episode right now. 

[burtatethebees]

July 24, 2019

Mr. Dezern is finally talking to me about the new semester and my job as club pres. We’re gonna start planning the winter sale. I think I’m gonna get my mom to teach us how to make cheese and dye scarfs with indigo. 

 I started watching game of thrones with my dad. I don’t think I want to watch it WITH my dad but I will totally keep watching. We watched two episodes. Would totally smash Jon Snow. The standards are low. 

There are Ella and whatshisface Atticus’ son.

they got divorceddd

he’s still trying to be a good dad.

I still don’t know how to kill Luca and his wife. But his wife is doing really well at her job (freelance programmer). It’s very time-consuming. She has to spend all her time in the office on the computer if I have her take a job where she has to make a game. 

Ella is a little neglected by her parents because of their jobs.  Luca got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and got promoted from level 4 to level 10. We aren’t struggling to pay the bill anymore!

[burtatethebees]

July 24, 2019

So it’s really hitting me that school starts again in 8 days. I had a hard time falling asleep because I was stressing about it. The thing is that I know that it’s gonna be fine cause I’ve done this a billion times before. I need to get my schedule fixed. They put me in two math classes at the same time- geometry and algebra II. I’m starting to try and get my sleep schedule right again before school. I’m sleeping at 10 tonight.

I was thinking about my worldbuilding for my book today. I want to find a better world building site. Whenever I try and think about it it just gets overwhelming. 

I need to start applications for Chat tech soon. I don’t want to miss the deadline again like last semester. I need to start the application for Conserve too. There’s a lot of stuff happening in my life soon. I really don’t want to leave school. I want to stay with my parents and stay young and supported. The real world seems scary and I’m afraid.  

I’m still scared of driving. I couldn’t even make my own optometrist appointment yesterday. 

I cleaned my bathroom today. My mom said she’d buy me stickers if I did it. I don't know what I’ll stick them to, probably my notebooks or a paper to but in my binder. 

I was playing the sims a few days ago and some new event happened.

Luca got a girlfriend and then eloped because we don’t have enough money for the wedding.

Atticus’ wife had their first baby. His name is Edgar. He’s a toddler now, but I didn’t take pics of that.

Luca’s wife also had a baby. Her name is Ella, like Cinderella. She’s the next heir of the challenge. 

I’m gonna have to kill both Luca and his wife AND Norah soon to make this easier for myself and more accurate to the story. Because Cinderella had no parents and only one adult figure, Lady Tremaine in the book and Atticus in this.I’m thinking that Atticus will blame Ella for Norah’s death somehow and that's why he’ll hate her. Maybe they all go on a trip but Atticus can’t come and Ella is the only survivor somehow. Or how I was going to do it originally - send them to the city on a family outing and have them eat pufferfish nigiri so only the people I want to die, die. 

But that’s all for tomorrow .