boyfailurecharliekelly

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

dennis reynolds - denial is a river

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

free my girl. she did all that but so did a male character and nobody cared

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

i just started s5. w what happened here

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

i can't do this anymore! i mean i can, and i will, obviously. but i can't fucking do this anymore!

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

he's soooooooooooooooooooooo

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

uncensored version ;)

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

Idk if Mac had a strong sense of self before coming out. I think a lot of it was constructed and obviously based on people he thought he should be like. His dad, or action movie characters. It looked like he had a strong personality, being bossy and stubborn, but I bet if he was asked any typical "fist date" questions, he'd come off like a cardboard cut out, or like an action figure toy with a pull string. Only able to say obvious macho bro-ey answers, not understanding how to genuinely answer. And he truly believed that's who he was. He had to. Because if he wasn't that, wasn't a man, who was he?

Coming out, going back, coming out again, eventually having it stick, he doesn't know who the fuck he is or supposed to be. I think being Gay is a title/role to Mac in the same way being Straight or a Man was. He's only ever seen queers in a negative or, at best, stereotypical light so he doesn't understand the deeper levels to himself. He's just swapped roles from "macho rowdy ladies man" to "gay bear/hunk sex machine" in place of understanding himself on a deeper level.

There's an assumption that queer people have a deeper sense of self and understand ourselves better than cis straight people, but coming out isn't always a coming home. It can destroy your sense of self and leave you completely lost about who you are as a person. It can feel like starting from ground zero.

We see this with Mac almost immediately. Mac Finds His Pride has him lost the whole episode, apathetically going from one queer scene to the next as Frank tries to help him find what Type of Gay he is. Eventually culminating in an attempt to still gain his father's approval. I think the dance helped Mac process his relationship with god, but he is still very lost as a person by the end of the episode.

Another example, very obviously, is when they're in Ireland. Mac has lost all sense of identity. Already struggling with his catholocism and being gay, he's shortly stripped of his Irish identity as well (and immediately tries to figure out how to be Dutch? iirc). That's Mac's whole plot for that entire season pretty much.

He looks to other people to tell him what to do, almost refuses to make his own decisions. Who is Mac? What does he like to do? Not in relation or service to other people, but to himself? I don't think the writers, Rob, or Mac know the answers. He's not gay, he's Mac. What does that mean?

I don't know where else to go with this. Besides that, I feel that in The Gang Goes Bowling, we see just a little bit of Mac returning. Or rather, becoming. I hope we see more of him.

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

something something dee’s a bird something something charlie knows bird law

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

i think we need to take full advantage of the canon "the more demeaning i made the relationship, the more attached you became" when writing fanfics

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

gets romantic you will always be famous for establishing mutual macdennis crying kink

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

uncensored version ;)

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

listen. I love sunny and its writers obviously. but there is something hitting different about dee written by writers who write a lot more women than men lmao

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

dni unless you are a pervert who engages with irredeemable media

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

part 2/2 of my mac/dennis “past lives” (2023) AU is finished, so if mutual pining and right person, wrong time is your kind of thing, it can be read here <3

here’s a snippet:

He wants Mac, maybe he’s always wanted him, he wants him all to himself, and Dennis has always been terribly selfish. Terribly, brutally honest, too, but contrary to all of that, he isn’t feeling terribly brave right now.

“I don’t think that makes it any less gay,” Mac scoffs, and if Dennis was feeling braver, he’d probably take the leap to close the gap between them and swallow his best friend’s denial and pride and fear of God, if he could.

The thing is, that’s fucking horrifying. That’s like jumping into the ocean without a life vest, simply hoping the sharks won’t find him before he freezes to death. So, he does the stupid thing he tells himself will hurt less, the thing that isn’t burdened by uncertainty, but instead, one where he knows exactly what Mac is going to do.

Dennis does the thing he does best; he takes the one good thing he has, the one thing he finally found for himself and no one else, and he burns it to the fucking ground.

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

dennis reynolds, my number one boy

[boyfailurecharliekelly]

ur addiction has affected us in the following ways u are annooooyinggg