bl00dsuckingbradybunch

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My polycule can beat up your polycule!

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Vampires when they sip on your blood and catch extra strength Tylenol, at least two psychiatric meds, two cups of coffee, weed, and microplastics 

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Why do they collectively look like every single Lady gaga song literally ever, like im not complaining but its kinda weird

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a subset of this fandom: marko is italian

an even smaller subset but somehow even funnier part of this fandom: david is irish

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i like to imagine that being a vampire doesn't make david naturally colder or whatever so whenever he goes out on the boardwalk wearing three coats in the middle of summer he's on the verge of heatstroke but refuses to take the coats off and sacrifice his carefully curated cool guy look

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hey! if hc requests are open, could i request sam emerson dating hcs? thanks!!

Dating Sam Emerson Would Include...

a/n: i, in the most annoying big sister fashion, just want to pinch his cheek. sorry if this is really short…

-> you totally steal his clothes. he's got a whole closet full and, seeing as most of it is baggy as hell on him, they most likely fit you, too.

-> he totally complains about it. all the time.

"aw, come on."

"how would you feel if i started stealing your clothes, hm?"

"i'm being serious now, i need that back."

-> (secretly loves it.)

-> lots of comic book talk. if you're into comic books, have fun spending hours pouring over the forty-seven different story arcs for every DC character and being in awe of his batman number fourteen. if you aren't... well, good luck. it isn't that hard to follow (in theory) and I'm sure he'd be willing to explain it to you.

-> probably considers everything you guys do together a bit of a date. not in an annoying way but in a cute way. like, you guys had to walk nanook together? why don't you make a date of it. hanging out on the boardwalk? that's totally a date. doing your homework together? not quite so fun, but a date! you get the drift.

-> that being said, the chances that any date you're on gets interrupted by at least one frog brother are high. especially when they're, on off-chance, not working. they're pretty much sam's only friends on the boardwalk (beside you), and they can more or less say the same about him in return, so there isn’t much they don’t do together. I don’t make the rules.

"hey sam!”

“…”

“… and edgar… and… alan?”

-> nanook hair everywhere. it’s on your clothes. it’s on your book-bag. it’s on your bed. your boyfriend’s got a big dopey dog that sheds a lot.

-> chaste forehead kisses that make his nose scrunch up >>>

-> michael makes fun of you two all the time. lucy tells him to stop, but he’s not going to. he’s still your stand-in big brother, though. like, nobody’s messing with you on his watch.

-> lucy adores you. you’re always invited to family dinners at the (rebuilt) emerson household.

-> you’re not entirely sure grandpa knows you exist. he’s pretty cool, though.

-> after canon or during, you’re going to have to learn what vampires are. it’s not like the frog brothers are exactly good at hiding their opinions on the matter, and grandpa emerson’s got medieval spikes all around his house, so you were bound to find out eventually.

-> you, thus, have your own copy of vampire’s everywhere.

-> sam (or his friends) have probably hid a stake or two, and a spray gun full of holy water, in your room. good luck explaining that one to your folks.

“sam, you have to take these back.”

-> he probably has a picture (or several) of you on top of all the posters and shit he has.

-> going to concerts on the boardwalk together >>>

-> he’s a very good boyfriend overall, and you two are an adorable couple.

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i just find that scene so fuckn funny

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still open lol

hey! requests for everything but ships are now open!

I’ll be closing them when I have a whole lot to do!

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hello!! can you write a dwayne x reader? i really don’t care what it’s about i can never find anything about him 💀

lmao yeah I have one or two in my drafts, just keep your eyes open

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Could I request some Marko headcannons with a human so? Like just fluff, smut, whatever you're comfortable with. And then eventually she wants to be turned? What's their first feeding frenzy look like?

hey! yeah! i can do this! sorry it took me so long to respond, I have notifications off for tumblr!

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David tried to girlboss too hard and have four weed smoking boyfriends instead of three and that's why he died

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how to trick writers into giving you more fanfic to read

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fun vampire fact of the day!

YOU love vampires :)

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it’s so funny that the ways the boys try to piss off max are like. them walking though his store for 30 seconds and them throwing a kite at him

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i think that paul has a really loud laugh

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That cute little nose ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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every time i make a tlb au where the boys survive and it stretches on into more recent years i live in blissful ignorance where i pretend that the video store would still be open today so lucy can own it after they kill max