bitchblogsupreme

[bitchblogsupreme]

@roach-works I think you might be my hero for that one

Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form

[bitchblogsupreme]

in case you needed to hear it today:

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re changing lanes

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re taking an exit

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you plan on turning (can even be done sooner than 2 seconds before you’re about to turn)

you have a turn signal. in your vehicle. two of them in fact.

you are so brave and beautiful and smart and can do it. using your turn signal

[bitchblogsupreme]

it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here

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When are we going to stop pretending SPAM is good? And when the hell are we going to stop pretending SPAM musubi is a gift from the gods?

[bitchblogsupreme]

An underrated horse fact is that if you have horse that is both A. Not stupid and B. Likes you, it will actively try to prevent you from falling to your doom when you fuck up as a rider. Like actually make an effort not to drop you like a cell phone. I think horses deserve more credit for that.

[bitchblogsupreme]

These two older, fancily dressed ladies (60s/70s ish. Wisend seen some shit types) were walking to their seats at the play when the usher pointed out the hand rail was on the left. The older of the two thanked the kind young man and said "I could use a rail." And without missing a beat her friend says "Me too but prefer them 6 foot."

ASDFGHJKL!! In front of my salad Valerie?! You absolute fucking legend!

[bitchblogsupreme]

If you're ever curious if you can scratch your tonsils... I can safely tell you. Yes. Yes you can. Any garden variety chopsticks works wonders.

Now ask me if you SHOULD...

MY TONSILS ARE ITCHY

[bitchblogsupreme]

weird how no one ever comments on the absence of smells unprompted. the nose just isn't a topic of conversation unless it's urgent huh

[bitchblogsupreme]

In light of recent events, an addendum: For the love of CHRIST please don't "self medicate" your dog with your cheap ass weed. It's not good for them, as a general rule of thumb.

ALSO IF YOU COULDN'T DEAL WITH A HYPERACTIVE MOP DESTROYING YOUR APARTMENT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN A FARKING AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD THUS RESULTING IN YOU FEELING THE NEED TO GIVE IT A PORTION OF THE DEVIL'S LETTUCE.

After my many years in the vet industry if I could give one bit of advice it is:

If you think you have your marijuana/THC products up secured somewhere your dog "definitely can't get to it".... You don't. I don't care what you say. I don't care where it is. If it is not physically LOCKED in something and you KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is IN FACT LOCKED... It's not somewhere they can't get to it. And they WILL get to it. They will eat it. And they WILL go on a terrible trip.

The second piece of advice is:

Just tell me your dog got into your electric lettuce. I don't give a shit. I know when you're lying to me You're not even the fourth person I've talked to TODAY that this has happened to. It will be better for LITERALLY everyone involved if that is the answer to what is causing these symptoms. LET ME SAVE YOU MONEY AND ME TIME. Please.

[bitchblogsupreme]

MY TONSILS ARE ITCHY

[bitchblogsupreme]

If I could have one wish...in the world, it would be to break every.single. LED headlight with a baseball bat, irreparably, so that they can never be replaced and blind me again.

[bitchblogsupreme]

Listen. If you want to see the fabled perfect synchronization of comrades in battle. The effortless cohesive teamwork of the famed swordsmen of old. Voiceless, instinctual communication of an elite battle tested unit.

You don't need to go to the volleyball courts of a highschool prefecture final. No need to venture to a modern day battle field. Heck you don't even have to go to the wavering bamboo forests of the Tang Dynasty .

Nono. Go sit in the lobby of a vet clinic and wait until Karen and Gary try to come for a staff member.

The coordination of the nursing staff, doctors and CSR... PRISTINE. Different team members stepping in, seemingly at random, to support and care for the comrade in the center of the shit storm.. An iron wall. NOT A HOLE IN SIGHT. NO CHINKS IN THIS ARMOUR SUSAN. They have their 6,12,4 and 9. Solid team work. Immaculate enough to make a SEAL team commander WEEP.

[bitchblogsupreme]

As someone who works w animals “animals are not mindless automatons, they actually do have feelings and individuality and are capable of feeling acute physical and emotional pain and of forming deep attachments with other animals and people” and “animals are not human infants and have a limited capacity to communicate with humans so you have to familiarize yourself with their boundaries bc if they feel threatened or overstimulated they will fall back on their basic instincts and if you fuck around you are going to find out” are statements that can and should coexist

[bitchblogsupreme]

After my many years in the vet industry if I could give one bit of advice it is:

If you think you have your marijuana/THC products up secured somewhere your dog "definitely can't get to it".... You don't. I don't care what you say. I don't care where it is. If it is not physically LOCKED in something and you KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is IN FACT LOCKED... It's not somewhere they can't get to it. And they WILL get to it. They will eat it. And they WILL go on a terrible trip.

The second piece of advice is:

Just tell me your dog got into your electric lettuce. I don't give a shit. I know when you're lying to me You're not even the fourth person I've talked to TODAY that this has happened to. It will be better for LITERALLY everyone involved if that is the answer to what is causing these symptoms. LET ME SAVE YOU MONEY AND ME TIME. Please.

[bitchblogsupreme]

When you get home after getting kicked in the head and knocked to the ground (hitting your head 3x) and go to climb in bed to rest you sore body and (shocker) concussed Conscience Jello Mold ™️ ONLY to find the fluffy Murder Mooch ™️ has YARFFED ALL OVER YOUR CLEAN SHEETS SO YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THEM WITH ONLY ONE WORKING ARM AND A PAR SET JELLO MOLD

Makes up for it with IMPECCABLE nursing skills though, so I guess he stays.

[bitchblogsupreme]

Good day you ungrateful wretches.

Three words.

Tim.

Tam.

Slam.

That is all.

[bitchblogsupreme]

friends. romans. countrymen. i am asking. i am begging. please use headphones when consuming audio content in a shared space.