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Keys, 17th-19th century. Collection Cooper Hewitt

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TW: Abusive Relationships – Safety Tips

These safety tips can make the difference between being severely injured or killed and escaping with your life.

Prepare for emergencies

- Know your abuser’s red flags. Be on alert for signs and clues that your abuser is getting upset and may explode in anger or violence. Come up with several believable reasons you can use to leave the house (both during the day and at night) if you sense trouble brewing.

- Identify safe areas of the house. Know where to go if your abuser attacks or an argument starts. Avoid small, enclosed spaces without exits (such as closets or bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If possible, head for a room with a phone and an outside door or window.

- Come up with a code word. Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use to let your children, friends, neighbors, or co-workers know that you’re in danger and the police should be called.

Make an escape plan

- Be ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Keep the car fueled up and facing the driveway exit, with the driver’s door unlocked. Hide a spare car key where you can get it quickly. Have emergency cash, clothing, and important phone numbers and documents stashed in a safe place (at a friend’s house, for example).

- Practice escaping quickly and safely. Rehearse your escape plan so you know exactly what to do if under attack from your abuser. If you have children, have them practice the escape plan also.

- Make and memorize a list of emergency contacts. Ask several trusted individuals if you can contact them if you need a ride, a place to stay, or help contacting the police. Memorize the numbers of your emergency contacts, local shelter, and domestic violence hotline.

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Monster Issues - An ongoing project :) 

You can find more on my Facebook page 

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Fat shaming and how to cope with it

Diet culture and the obsession for universal thinness has impacted the mental health, self esteem, wellbeing of individuals who are “overweight.” This societal pressure has resulted in fat shaming and discriminatory behaviours on the part of others.

Many individuals hold stereotypes that individuals who are fat are “lazy”, “unmotivated” or even consider them to have “poor self control” and “poor management skills”. This discrimination against fat individuals impacts in every aspect of their lives from employment to salary to health care to personal safety to interpersonal relationship. 

So what are some ways to cope with this?

Confront the person exhibiting this behaviour: If you are at work or school or in a doctors office choose a time and place where you can talk privately with the other person. Remember to be assertive and try to manage your emotions using relaxation techniques such as belly breathing. 

Acknowledge the tension between you.

Outline the behaviour that is causing tension.

Cite a number of specific examples.

Explain how these actions affect you.

Ignore the comments: Confronting someone on a behaviour that is problematic can be a very stressful experience or one that might not be an option for some. 

Positive affirmations: Don’t underestimate the power of positive affirmations, our subconscious records everything that we say to ourselves. Even if you don’t believe it at first if done regularly it becomes our reality. Here is a site with some affirmations. 

Monitoring negative self talk: As stated above our self conscious records everything that we say to ourselves. If you have the habit of putting yourself down try to challenge these thoughts. There are four main types of challenging questions to ask yourself: 

If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?

What is my evidence for and against my thinking? 

Will this matter in five years time?

Is there something I can learn from this situation?

Visualisation: Visualisation is a very powerful technique that can be very helpful in improving self esteem. In this technique you simply take a few minutes to visualise what you want to be like such as more self confident. Ask yourself what would it feel like? What would it look like? How would you interact with people? The more detailed the better. 

Comfort yourself and let others comfort you: Self care is very important, if you have had a hard day do something that relaxes you, comfort yourself with positive comments and allow friends and family to be there to comfort you as well. Remember if you are struggling its okay to need help.

Keep things in perspective: Sometimes this is very difficult to do when you have been discriminated against but it is important to keep in mind all of the interactions you have had that have been positive. Also it is good to think of enjoyable moments in your life. 

Join a body positive community: There are numerous fat acceptance and body acceptance blogs on tumblr. They help promote healthy body image and often have great community support.

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VICIOUS PREDATOR BLINDS OWNER

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3 types of self soothing thoughts 

Validation: it’s ok that I hurt and want to feel better

Reassurance: I can handle this pain even though it hurts 

Perspective taking: I’ve had bad days like this before and I’ve made it through them. I can remember my better days and know I’m not always hurting this much 

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UK woman can ride bike for first time with ‘world’s most lifelike bionic hand’

A British woman, Nicky Ashwell, has recently been fitted with what scientists claim to be the most life-like bionic hand to date.

Following the procedure, performed at the private London Prosthetics Centre, the 29 year old Ashwell, who was born without a right hand, is now able to carry out tasks she was never able to before, such as ride a bike or use cutlery – simple, everyday actions most people never even stop to think about.

The prosthetic limb, which weighs about the same as a bar of chocolate (around 390 g) and is made from aerograde aluminium and rare Earth magnets, was developed by a company called Steeper that had built it around an accurate skeletal structure with small proportions designed to fit teenagers and women.

Steeper claims its prosthetic hand, which uses military and Formula 1 technology, is a veritable breakthrough in replacement bionic limbs, delivering “unrivalled level of precision and natural movements”, made possible by as many as 14 different precision grips.

That’s thanks to the 337 discrete mechanical parts that allow the prosthetic to function in a natural and realistic way.

“We leaned on a number of different industries to make the BeBionic hand. The knuckle mechanisms were created using a cutting technique used on F1 car chassis. And some of the tiny motors that drive the fingers and thumb are used on missiles,” said Ted Varley, the company’s Technical Director.

Excited about her new hand, Ashwell, who’s a Product Manager at an online fashion forecasting and trend service, said:

“When I first tried the BeBionic small hand it was an exciting and strange feeling – it immediately opened up so many more possibilities for me. I realized that I had been making life challenging for myself when I didn’t need to.

The movements now come easily and look natural – I keep finding myself being surprised by the little things, like being able to carry my purse while holding my boyfriend’s hand. I’ve also been able to do things never before possible like riding a bike and lifting weights.”

The hand can withstand up to 45 kg in weight and is precise enough to hold a wine glass without breaking it.

“The stem of a wine glass is an example of something bionic hands could not hold before. Now the skeletal structure means that the hand wraps around that and things like soft fruit,“ said Varley.

To develop the line of “robo-hands” that the BeBionic belongs to, Steeper – a well-known British prosthetic limb manufacturer that‘s been in business since the First World War – spent 7 years in research, development and manufacturing. This latest model took around 1 million pounds, 18 months and 25 designers to make.

In terms of the production process, in order to maintain anatomical accuracy, the first element to be developed was the skeletal structure, which was then equipped with the intricate electronics. “In other myoelectric hands the technology is developed first, at the expense of the life-likeness.”

The BeBionic uses sensors triggered by Ashwell’s muscle movements to activate motion. Movements are then coordinated by powerful microprocessors and individual motors in each finger.

Rather unsurprisingly, precision-made, multi-joint robotic limbs like this are very expensive and may cost up to 10.000 pounds for a hand or an almost astronomically-steep 100.000 pounds for a full arm.

Source

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We live in a culture that produces girls’ tops with narrower shoulder straps than boys’ tops, girls’ shorts that expose more leg than boys’ shorts, and then shames girls for wearing the clothes sold to them. We live in a culture that tells boys it’s okay to shed clothing in the heat in order to be more comfortable, but tells girls that their comfort is secondary to how others perceive them. […] The message that we are receiving isn’t just that more ‘revealing’ clothes are wrong. It’s that our female bodies are wrong. That by having breasts and hips and legs and exposing them, we are less.

A Message To Teenage Girls About Summer Dress Codes, Chelsea Cristene (via tiredestprincess)

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Thanks for the messages of support, I’m finding it hard to respond to people directly at the moment but I wanted to you to know I appreciate it and your efforts.

I’m taking measures to ensure my health and wellbeing.

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You get this every time someone comes out. Straight people- it’s almost always straight people- falling over themselves to talk about how they don’t care. It’s not just when celebrities come out, either. How many conversations have you heard recounted where someone comes out to someone close to them- a best friend, a close relative- and that person reacts with a “so what” or a “cool.. pass the peas, will you?” I’m not saying there aren’t situations where that’s appropriate. When you’re dealing with someone who’s been out for yonks who you’ve just met? Good reaction. If I mentioned, say, fancying Ellen Page or a woman I was dating in the staff room at work? I’m hoping for blasé. But when someone is coming out for the first time? This cooler-than-thou insistence on not caring about someone’s orientation- on it being irrelevant- is horrible. It ignores how hard it is to come out. It ignores the fact that this thing you won’t acknowledge as important could be something that they’ve been holding in for years. For decades. It shuts its eyes and ears to the harm that heteronormativity and homophobia have done to the person standing right in front of you. All so that you can feel good about how progressive and right-on you are, without taking a single moment to account for the consequences of the privilege you wear too lightly.

Someone’s come out. So what? (via brutereason)

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Admitting You Have a Problem for the First Time

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IN CASE YOU HAVENT HEARD YET

!!!!! MUST READ !!!!!!

Dominican Republic to be ‘Socially Cleaned’ of all Hatians/Dark Skinned Dominicans in two days

In two days about a quarter of a million people will be made stateless. They will have no homes, no passports, and no civil rights. There are several reasons for this, but the primary reason is racism.

 At issue is a ruling by the Constitutional Court in the Dominican Republic to strip away the citizenship of several generations of Dominicans:

According to the decision, Dominicans born after 1929 to parents who are not of Dominican ancestry are to have their citizenship revoked. The ruling affects an estimated 250,000 Dominican people of Haitian descent, including many who have had no personal connection with Haiti for several generations.

Dominican Republic has always had a longstanding hatred towards Haiti for years but what they’re doing is literally taking anyone who’s family lineage cannot be traced back to 1929, and putting them on a one-way bus back to Haiti, whether they were born in the DR or not. They don’t care. 

The US State Department has denounced the Dominican government for this plan, and pointed out that it is a gross violation of human rights according to the U.N. charter.

Below are 5 things you need to know about what is happening in the Dominican Republic:

The DR government has revoked the citizenship of more than 100,000 Dominicans born in the country of Haitian parents.

Many of the Dominican-born Haitians facing the looming threat of deportation have never visited Haiti or know anyone there.

The criteria the government will use in deciding who is to be bussed out of the country is “dark-skinned Dominicans with Haitian facial features.”

The DR government claims to have established a legalization process for Dominican-Haitians wishing to remain in the country, but the system is close-to-impossible, according to sources on the ground.

Even though currently the deportation of Dominic-Haitians persists as only a possibility, all evidence points to it happening.

Source / Source / Source

#StayWoke

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did you change your url

No. 

It’s still the same as it has always been, betterthandarkchocolate.

- Kris