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bee-zzzzz7 · 2 years ago

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Lavender's blue (Mels Zucker x Reader)

I finally wrote something fluffy for Mels!

Rating: Teen

Genre: Fluff, Romance

Words: ~ 5,700

Warnings: Some illegal activity (theft and trespassing and there is a short scene in a prison cell) and some light innuendo, descriptions of knife-like objects as weapons but no one is attacked, also non-sexual sensory deprivation

Summary: It is almost the end of the last year of school. History class is covering the Roman invasion of Britain. Spirits are high. The reader loves Mels, Mels loves the reader. They go on a (slightly illegal) date.

read on ao3

Amy was walking next to you, a spring in her step, her voice brimming with busy determination.

“Rory has agreed to wear the soldier costume” she said “So we just need you to spruce up that text on roman gender roles and someone to make Mels finish - or rather start - her take on weaponry. Then there is no way Kaylee's stupid presentation will beat ours.”

“Hey, there is plenty of spruce in my text already!” you complained automatically.

“That is not a thing” Amy rolled her eyes at you. “And: No there isn't. You literally copied two lines out the textbook about how women were more likely to take care of the household, teach children and weren't allowed to vote. There is nothing spruced up about that.”

She might have had a point. If you were being honest, you weren't entirely sure what your text snippet had covered. During the lesson you had only half-heartedly been working on it - way more interested in Mels' jokes about roman orgies than your assignment. Way more interested in Mels than history lesson, period. Contrary to Amy, who for some reason had been excited by the prospect of yet another 'end-of-year-extra-credit-how-do-I-keep-my-pupils-occupied'-presentation project, this time on the roman empire, or roman life and culture in your case.

But you were nothing if not a good friend - and slightly terrified of Amy's wrath- so you graciously agreed: “Fine. I will write you a piece about how Romans already performed full body Brazilians if that's what you want, Pond.”

“See: That line is gold” Amy nodded with satisfaction. “Keep that in.”

“Why is this so important to you anyway?” you asked. You had thought you were all on the same page about history taught by Mr. Hilbert: It was necessary to be passed for your nearing A-levels, but that was about the amount of effort it was worth. Rory still studied and helped you all to get through, but neither one of Amy, Mels or you had ever been paying a lot of attention to it. And when it came to you, you were very okay to spend the time you got for the project flirting with Mels.

“It's the first topic in history class that interests me: Invasion of the Hot Italians!” Amy explained with great flourish and a wicked smile.

“Is that the title of our presentation?”

Amy beamed. “You bet it is.”

You chuckled, fully convinced now to invest yourself in the project if brought her that much joy.

“Fine, I promise to make an effort” you said, remembering something you had read the other day. “As long as you allow me to put in a bit on transgender Romans? There was this really interesting article in National Geographic.”

Amy stopped suddenly, grabbing your shoulders and staring at you with wide eyes.

“Y/N. That. Would. Be. Perfect” she said, stressing each word individually. “And if you could get Mels to hand in something?”

That was a bit more of a difficult request.

“I’m not sure I can do that” you admitted. “But I promise I will do my very best to convince her to take the 'Julius Caesar was not stabbed earlier because the Doctor wasn't there to initiate it' line out.”

Mr. Hilbert had given you a flowchart for the project and Mels only contribution had been to immediately write down something along those lines. When Amy had tried to throw the sheet away and ask for a new one, she had been denied, so for now her imaginary childhood friend was still part of the presentation.

Amy grimaced. At least she seemed more amused by Mels’ antiques now than during the lesson. “Wasn't it 'Julius Caesar died because the Doctor didn't save him'?”

“Not sure” you frowned in concentration, trying to recall the flowchart. “But I believe Mels should be in favour of the empire crumbling? She is very anti-autocrative figures.”

“Didn't she have a thing for Cleopatra though?” Amy asked but you just shrugged.

“Just another reason to wish Caesar gone.”

You had reached the crossing where you would normally split up and stopped idly, not ready to say goodbye yet.

Amy wrung her hands. “Well, it would be great if the Doctor did not make an appearance in my- uh our presentation.”

“I'll try my best” you promised again.

“I'm sure she'll listen to you” Amy nodded optimistically. “She loves you.”

You felt yourself smile. “She does, doesn't she?”

It was all new, you and Mels. Barely three weeks ago, she had suddenly taken the first step and asked you out. Three weeks that you had spent with nothing else than making googly eyes at each other as Amy liked to point out. You didn’t care that she was mocking you, you were too happy. Having been crushing on Mels for literal years the current state still felt acutely like a dream come true.

Amy snorted good-naturedly. “To a fault. Hey, I bet you two'll be voted 'endgame couple' in the yearbook.”

Saying that she elbowed you lightly as if she was letting you in on a secret. You however could only raise an eyebrow sceptically.

“We will not. We're way too unpopular in school” you argued.

Amy shrugged. “Well, Rory and I have voted for you.”

“Shouldn't you vote for yourselves?” It was out before you could hold yourself back. You bit your tongue, silently cursing your faulty impulse control and praying Amy would overhear your slip up. As much as you shared Mels conviction that your friends were meant for each other, you didn’t want to meddle. Unfortunately, Amy was not heading your voiceless plea.

“What do you mean?” she asked with a frown.

“Nothing” you hurried to say. “Forget I said anything…So I will get home I guess and work on roman gender roles, see you tomorrow?”

Okay, maybe you were just trying to get out of the conversation. But you really should be getting home, too, if only because Mels had been calling your landline every night for the last weeks and you were hoping it would be the same today.

“Alright” Amy agreed, hugging you tightly. “Take care, Y/N.”

“You too” you grinned, waving before turning to make your way home.

Having barely taken ten steps down the street, you recognised a familiar figure squatting on top of a little garden wall on your side of the road. You reckoned normal people would be a bit disturbed if their girlfriend – who had stayed behind at school and was supposed to be having a Spanish period right now – snuck past them and their friend on their way home to wait until said friend had left and greet them as a slightly threatening, ominous figure on a garden wall, playing with a fidget spinner they had transformed into a shuriken nonetheless. But then, normal people probably wouldn’t date Mels.

In any case, the feeling flooding your stomach at her sight was far from unease and a whole lot more pleasant.

“Mels!” you greeted her, beaming. “Good to see you. Amy has just given me the very strict instruction to make you work on the presentation.”

She smirked, pocketing the shuriken.

“That would not be half as exciting as what I have planned.” She jumped down from the wall and strolled towards you, reaching for your hand. “I want to take you on a date tonight.”

“But you can't tell Amy or Rory anything” she added hurriedly, intertwining your fingers and looking searchingly into your eyes. “Promise?”

You guessed her hesitation to inform your friends wouldn’t have anything to do with the presentation. Mels was usually very upfront about not caring about school, even when Amy, Rory and you did. You frowned thoughtfully.

“That sounds moderately concerning” you admitted. “How illegal are we talking?”

Mels chuckled. “It's not... more illegal than usual.”

“Why are you so insistent I don't tell them then?” you asked, reaching out with your free hand to caress Mels’ cheek. Like always, she immediately leaned into the touch.

“It's just something I am not ready to share yet” she said quietly and you got the feeling that she was uncharacteristically coy about it, shy almost. Whatever it was, Mels seemed to not be sure about it, as unbelievable as that sounded. And still she was inviting you, trusting you.

You bit your lip. “But you’re sharing it with me?”

“Yeah...” she pulled a face and lightly hit your front. “Don't you dare go all soppy on me now!”

You couldn’t help it, you had to take her face into your hands and kiss her. When you pulled back, she looked incredulous, like she couldn’t quite believe she deserved this. It was not the first time you had seen this expression on her but she kept insisting, it didn’t mean what you thought it did. Well, you had decided you would just make sure to make her feel like she did deserve you with all your might.

“Promise, you won’t get us into trouble this time?” you asked, already knowing what her answer would be.

“How dull would that be?”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress a grin. “Promise me then you won’t push me into a sewer again?”

“A sewer?!” Mels eyes widened in mock exasperation. “Honey, I pushed you into the canal! There is a difference, thank you very much.”

“You pushed me right next to a pipe that looked suspiciously sewer-y” you pointed out. “And have you seen Leadworth’s canal? My sneakers still smell like a dog who rolled in a freshly-fertilised field.”

“Did save you from getting arrested” Mels mused, way too satisfied with herself and you felt the strong urge to kiss that smug smile from her face.

Instead, you flicked one of her braids teasingly. “So, what? You want me to thank you now?”

She considered you for a moment, definitely more for show than anything (she had to know what it did to your heart when she looked at you this intently). Then she shook her head slowly.

“No” she said with that slightly deeper voice that never failed to make your legs feel like jelly. “I want you to thank me tonight. On our date.”

She cradled your hand in hers again, then glanced up at you through her lashes. “Deal?”

It would be so easy to give in. Too easy.

“I still haven’t agreed I owe you thanks” you managed to say, even though it came out rather hoarsely.

Mels smirked at the way your breathing had acquired a ragged undertone, caressing your throat lightly with the back of her free hand. You held your breath. She chuckled. “Haven’t you?”

You burst out laughing, partly at her arrogance, partly out of nervousness, and slapped her hand away. “You are incorrigible!”

“I know” Mels agreed without a hint of shame. “It’s why you love me.”

She had said it light-heartedly, considered it a joke, probably. But your mood switched instantly.

“It is” you confirmed earnestly. “Among other things.”

Mels froze, a fearful expression flickering over her face, so quickly you almost missed it. But when she forced back a smile onto her lips and cheerful cheek into her voice, neither of those pretends were convincing anymore. “Didn’t I tell you not to get soppy?”

It puzzled you, how it seemed so hard for her to accept your love when she kept demanding it freely.

“Maybe, I am incorrigible, too” you said softly, and Mels gulped. Then a tentative hope crept into her eyes.

“Seems, like we make quite a team” she offered.

“Seems like it” you agreed, pressing her hand.

Mels cleared her throat and let go of your hand, suddenly in a hurry to put some distance between you.

“I need to go” she announced. “But I will pick you up at eight. Don’t leave me waiting!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it” you promised.

“You’d better not” she grinned, “’cause I’ll be bringing sickles.”

“’Sickles’?” you repeated, confused, but Mels just blew you a kiss, waved and skipped away.

You chuckled quietly to yourself. Well, it was not the first weird weapon she had used to threaten you with, and you guessed it would not be the last. But whatever kind of date she had planned, you knew you were in for an adventurous evening.

Mels picked you up exactly at eight, punctual on the second as she always was when she wanted to be. She did not greet you with a sickle or shuriken but a silky blindfold. Your teasing remarks ignoring she made sure it was fasted securely before helping you onto her motorcycle. It was thrilling, riding through the complete darkness, the wind howling around the thick helmet and the roaring of the engine deafening you so that your grip on her leather jacket remained the only sense anchoring you to reality. When you stopped after an immeasurable time period and had taken off the helmet, your hands immediately reached up to undo the blind fold. However, Mels’ gentle touch on your wrist held you back.

“Wait a moment, darling” she whispered. “Let me surprise you.”

She helped you off the motor cycle onto mushy ground. Something tickled your ankle and you jumped.

“Where are we?” you whispered, grabbing onto Mels’ arm so as not to lose your balance. She wrapped the other one around your waist, pulling you close.

“You’ll see” she hummed close to your ear and you rolled your eyes.

“I swear, if you trying to surprise me will land me in the ER…” you murmured while you started moving on unsteady feet. There were quite a lot of things at ankle to knee height and some of them were rather prickly. You assumed you were walking through a forest. The cracking of things under your feet and quiet sounds of owls, wind rustling leaves and a faraway highway were backing up that theory.

“Oh, shut up, you are loving this” Mels huffed and you couldn’t suppress a grin.

“It is a tad more exciting than ‘Netflix and Chill’, yes” you admitted and she hummed non-committally.

“Then again, we have never done ‘Netflix and Chill’ before” she argued. “Might turn out to be loads of excitement with me.”

You sighed and almost surprised yourself by how dreamily it sounded. “I bet you could turn even ‘Netflix and Chill’ into a dangerous car chase with a questioningly legal side quest.”

“You know I take that as a challenge” Mels chuckled and you conceded:

“I would expect nothing less, dear.”

“Okay, here we are” Mels stopped you with her palm against your stomach. “Hang on a second.”

Her arms left you and you heard her rummage through her backpack. Then she pressed something heavy with a wooden base into your hand.

“Careful with that” she breathed, then went to untie the blindfold. You knew her well enough to heed that advise. So you did not dare to move your arms before you could see what you were holding.

It was a sickle; an old, rusty sickle with a serrated, curved blade that shimmered dimly in the feeble light. You gulped.

“Mels?” you choked out. “What is this?!”

“I told you I was bringing sickles” she shrugged and when you looked at her, you saw that she was holding one of her own. You couldn’t make out her features properly but assumed she was sporting an amused expression at your shock. Her voice sounded entertained at least.

“Relax!” she told you, reaching for your free hand. “We're not killing anyone... Or anything.”

“Ideally” she added as an afterthought and your slightly settled heart jumped into your throat again.

“Ideally?!” you shrieked.

“Sorry, context:” Mels coughed, pressing your hand reassuringly. “We're using the sickles to harvest.”

She used her sickle to gesture before her. You were standing next to an open field of knee-high plants, as you realised now. “And if we do it right, we won't kill the plants. That's all. No murder involved…this time.”

“Are you taking me on a foraging date?” you asked, slowly catching up.

“Nah, we're stealing from a farm” she grinned. “But same thing, I guess.”

“Aw, Mels!” Now this was just sweet. And a lot more your thing than any other possible activity involving sickles. At least so you hoped.

Mels voice suddenly turned sharp. “If you laugh, I will break up with you. I'm not even kidding.”

“I would never laugh at you” you promised. “And definitely not when you are holding a sharp sickle.”

“Good call.”

Mels lead you onto the field that turned out to consist entirely of lavender plants. She took out a white canvas, spreading it in between two rows of lavenders and gesturing for you to sit down on top. Then she carefully explained to you how to cut the stems, making sure you understood where to grab the flowers and how to hold the sickle as not to cut yourself. It looked very easy when she did it but your first tries turned out rather clumsy. Still, you immediately felt the calming effect of the activity. The feeling of the hard and delicate stems in your hand, the pervasive smell of lavender in the air, the silence of the rural night, the repetitive movements, Mels’ familiar presence at your side as she cut the stems with deadly precision.

“You are scary good at this” you remarked, a little rueful for disturbing the silence.

“Well” Mels mused, glancing at you without faltering in her swift movements. “It's not so different from decapitating goons. As you know I'm a secret superhero, so I've had practice. I would tell you more but then I'd have to kill you with this sickle. Like I did with Andrew and Sabrina yesterday.”

“I know you are joking but at least half of our class actually believes stuff like that” you said, stopping in your work to admire her skill instead. “And I'm still undecided which side I'm on.”

“My side, I hope.” Mels gathered a larger bundle of flowers, expertly fastening them together with a hair tie.

“Always” you smiled. You went to cut the next handful, but stopped again, looking back at her. “Why are you really this good at lavender harvesting, then?”

She shrugged. “I've come here before, watched the other patrons pay horrendous amounts of money to be allowed to do this. But they got shown how to cut the stems, so now I know it too. And then I stole some sickles and practiced on my own at night.”

Her voice turned teasing again. “All so I could impress you with my skills.”

Well, she had definitely excelled at the impressing part. Or maybe that was just her and you would be impressed by anything she did. Now, that was a thought too embarrassing to bring up in the middle of a field.

“I would never have guessed you were into farming” you said instead. “But it suits you. I like it.”

“I guess I've found it rewarding to do stuff with my hands” she admitted. “And calming somehow. To concentrate on a simple task. And then have something beautiful in the end. There's something to it.”

You knew exactly what she meant, but before you could say so, Mels shook her head.

“I don't know” she huffed. “It sounds stupid when I say it out loud.”

“It really doesn't” you asserted, tapping lightly against her side. “Hey, maybe you could do something like this after we've finished school!”

She stopped, the sickle resting on the stems. She looked at you, then back at her hands.

“I have honestly been thinking about that” she said quietly. “Don't laugh, but-“

She stopped herself again and you reached out to touch her arm. “You know I would never.”

Mels breathed out loudly. “I've thought about studying archaeology.”

You blinked. “Archaeology? I can actually picture it.”

“Yeah, you into that?” Mels chuckled and that low and flirty tone was back in her voice, chasing the precious vulnerability away.

“You as Indiana Jones?” you asked, suppressing a shiver that the mental image sent down your spine. “Definitely.”

She hummed contentedly and continued cutting the plants. “Well now I have to do it.”

You smiled, but couldn’t let the subject drop before she knew how earnest you were in supporting her.

“Seriously though Mels” you reaffirmed. “I think, it's a great idea.”

“Hm” she shrugged “Well it's not gonna happen anyway. But it's fun to dream sometimes.”

“Of course, it can happen” you insisted. “You just have to make a little effort and you will sail through the A-levels. You are incredibly smart, Mels.”

“Is that your pitch to make me work on Amy's presentation?” she laughed too brightly. “Nicely played.”

“No, I am serious” you tried again. “I really believe- ”

“Come on, you've got to look at that sky!”

Mels suddenly dropped her sickle, throwing herself at you and toppling you over. Your sickle fell out of your hands too and you were lucky neither of you got injured. Mels came to lay on your chest but she didn’t give you an opportunity to recover, her lips hungrily claiming yours. Your eyes closed of their own accord, your hands wandered into her hair and then you found yourself sighing into her mouth while you enjoyed the feeling of her weight pressing you into the soft, canvas covered grass, grounding you. After a while, she pulled back, her smile hovering a few centimetres above you.

“I thought I should be looking at the sky” you said hoarsely.

Mels chuckled, her eyes never allowing yours to stray away. “Aren't you?”

You snorted. “You are so conceited.”

“You love it.”

She pressed another soft kiss to your lips, then she rolled off you and climbed into the next row between lavender bushes. With a sigh she let herself fall onto her back, disappearing behind the plants. Something shuffled through the leaves towards you and you had almost shied away when you realised it was her hand, searching for yours. You intertwined your fingers, your gaze finally straying to the sky. It was very clear and millions of stars were twinkling down at you. Mels had been right, it was quite a sight.

Your caressed the back of her hand with your thumb and pleaded: “Explain the constellations to me again?”

“Alright” Mels agreed. Her voice was very clear, as if she was right next to you and not separated by the bushes. “You seeing Ursa Major?”

“Hang on...” you scanned the sky. “Yeah, found it.”

“Well done” Mels praised and you bit your lip. “So, if you follow the axis in the back upwards then...”

“I get to the north star” you remembered proudly. “Found that one too.”

“You seeing the Orion Belt as well?”

“Was that the one that looks like a W?” You had to admit the memories of Mels last lesson on astronomy were rather vague from this point forth.

“No, that's the Cassiopeia” Mels corrected patiently. “The Orion Belt are three bright stars in a line, Alnitak, Alnilam and Mintaka.”

You scanned the sky but quickly decided that you did not know which stars she meant. “I can't find them.”

“That's because at this time of night they are only visible later in autumn” she explained.

“Mels!” you complained, reaching over with your free hand to slap her arm playfully.

“I'm sorry” she said, sounding not sorry at all. “But Cassiopeia is there, can you see her?”

“Yeah” you smiled, tracing the slightly skewed ‘W’ with your eyes.

Mels continued explaining constellations to you, letting you search for them and making sure you had found the right one before moving on. You reached for one of the bouquets you had created from the lavender, smelling the little buds and picking at broken stems while you listened. Her hand in yours was warm, her voice dancing through the air, almost making you believe the stars were only shining for the two of you tonight.

“They are so beautiful” you murmured after Mels had drawn out the Swan’s flight along the milky way for you. She hummed in agreement.

“Imagine if you are travelling through space” she mused, “they will look differently all the time because you are changing your position relative to the stars. You can't even use star signs to navigate. Nor the cardinal directions, obviously.”

“I've never thought about that” you admitted, impressed.

“I have” Mels said. “Loads. Imagine if you are also traveling in time, the stars will keep rotating and exchanging places. How would you begin to know where you are? You get dizzy even thinking about it.”

Oh. Now that sounded familiar.

“Is this about the Doctor again?” you asked.

Mels didn’t even seem to have heard you. “He must have some sort of inner compass. Something that always tells him exactly where and when he is. Or at least his ship must have it. Otherwise, he'd constantly be lost.”

She chuckled but it sounded petty. “Maybe he is.”

“Mels...” you started, unsure, what to say. You still didn’t know why she was so hung up on Amy’s imaginary childhood friend. Especially since Amy herself preferred not to speak about him.

“I think I might have it as well” she continued, still ignoring you. “A feeling for it all. It feels like it's dormant, but if I could just concentrate enough, I could feel it. All that time. All that space. The gravity pulling it all into order.”

It seemed to you as if she believed in those ideas. More strongly than in possibilities of studying archaeology at least.

“Do you think there is a difference between gravity and love?” she asked and despite yourself you smiled. Because after all, why not? Why shouldn’t you call that pull you felt towards her ‘gravity’?

“Right now?” you asked. “No.”

“Me neither.”

Mels pulled at your hand and then she suddenly emerged over the lavender blossoms again. She climbed back on top of you, sitting up and looking at the sky. Her eyes were shimmering like the stars themselves were reflected in them. She looked down at you and her hands reached out for your face, as if on instinct. No, not for your face, for your temples. For some reason you got the strangest feeling, like something important would happen once she touched you. Your breath caught in your throat.

Suddenly, Mels froze, her hands hovering in the air. She jumped, covered slightly and looked around. And then you could hear it, too. Barking. A voice. A faint light flickered over the top of Mels head, only a second. A flashlight.

“The farmer” you whispered in unison.

Mels wide eyes caught yours again and both of you burst out giggling. The voice grew louder, the barking closer, you started hearing heavy steps. The flashlight flickered your way again, your heartbeat picked up.

“I knew, this was going to end this way” you snickered, while Mels pulled you up and you hurried to gather canvas, lavender bouquets and sickles in your arms while never letting go of the other’s hand. “It always does with you.”

“Oh, shut up, honey” Mels snorted, pulling you away from the dark, harsh silhouettes blustering your way. “Shut up and run.”

“Do you remember our lavender date?” River asked you one night.

You were lying together on the cot in her cell. Which meant you were mostly lying on top of your wife, as the small frame barely admitted one person. River was right, Stormcage could definitely improve its hospitality for visitors. Strange, it was almost as if they didn’t plan for overnight stays of spouses.

Your head had been resting on her belly, your hand drawing lazy patterns onto the skin where her shirt had ridden up. But now you raised to your elbow, squinting up at her.

“Of course,” you said. “It was the first time you told me you were becoming an archaeologist.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “You remember that?”

“Yeah” you nodded. “It was the first time you talked about your future in a positive way. It gave me hope.”

The right corner of your mouth twitched cheekily as you added: “Also, I might have a thing for archaeologists.”

She laughed and the sound vibrated against your chest. “I'm sure you do, Love.”

“I even kept my bouquet” you said. “Dried it and hung it up. It's on the wall in my TARDIS room now, actually. I liked looking at it and imagining you – Mels, I mean - could come travel with us during those first days.”

She smiled. “I made mine into a moth pillow. Well, I had Dad make it into one. I'm not too skilled with a sewing machine.”

“Don't remind me” you groaned. “I am still mourning that top.”

“Would you like to go back?” River asked, reaching out to caress your cheek.

“To you trying to fix my clothes?” you frowned. “Darling, I mean this the nicest way but I won't ever let you near my clothes again when you are holding yarn and needles.”

She rolled her eyes, slapping your cheek lightly.

“To the lavender field” she clarified. “To the night of our date.”

“Crossing our own timestreams you mean?” you teased.

She shrugged innocently with one shoulder. “I'm not telling the husband if you aren't.”

“You're a very bad girl, River Song” you smirked.

“Only for you” she purred. You knew she was aware you had always been unable to resist that voice. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Ten minutes and one ride via vortex manipulator later you were watching your younger selves flee their scene of crime hand in hand. You distantly remembered thinking that you might get Mels to work on the presentation with you after all while disappearing into the forest. You had been very wrong.

“You know you saved me back then?” River asked, interrupting your reminiscing. “Probably saved the Doctor, too, come to think of it.”

“I didn't do anything?” you wondered, leaning into her and resting your head on her shoulder. “And I remember precisely that you saved yourself and him. And countless other people since then.”

She slung an arm around your waist and you remembered how Mels had also loved to do that back in the day.

“You loved me” River said, “when I was convinced, I could never be loved. Not by my parents, not by Kovarian, definitely not by the Doctor. Not even by myself. You showed me that there was good in this world. Even for someone like me.”

“Amy and Rory loved you too!” you insisted, pressing a kiss against her shoulder. “Very much.”

“But they didn't know me” she argued. “They didn't know who I was.”

“Neither did I?”

“Yes, you did” she said. “You loved Mels. And that was all I had to be for you. Amy and Rory loved Mels but I was their daughter and I was convinced, had they known, they would have hated me.”

She sighed. “They do hate me a bit now that they know. I don't blame them. And they try not to show. But of course, they do. Hadn't I been myself, they might have had a daughter.”

“River...” you looked up, searching for words of comfort in her familiar face, but she didn’t give you time to find them.

“It's okay” she smiled sadly. “I just wanted to say: to you knowing who I was did not change anything, not really. And I knew that before. And that was so important. You were the one person whose life I wasn't destroying. The one person for who being myself - being Mels - was enough. The only person I could love fully and whose love did not taste bitter in return.”

She reached out to cup your face. “That gave me so much strength. And I think it gave me the ability to believe in what the Doctor was offering. That there was another way for me. That I wasn't a monster. That I could be loved. Because I already was. Unconditionally. With everything I was.”

Tears were glimmering in her eyes and you gulped. “I did not realise...”

“Of course, you didn't” her thumb ran over your cheek in gentle caresses. “But in a way your love was one of the things that made me decide to save him in Berlin. Which in turn saved me. And it helped me get through the time before. So, thank you.”

“Thank you” you said. “For trusting me enough to rely on me.”

She pressed a kiss to your lips and when she pulled back, her smile had turned playful.

“So...” she drawled, nodding towards the field. “How about we see if we can enrage that farmer further?”

You grinned. “You think they will recognise me?”

“I doubt it” she said, “but I sure hope so.”

“It would definitely blow their mind” you chuckled.

River shrugged. “They might believe you to be your own child... Or grandchild.”

She winked at you and you gasped in mock exasperation.

“Watch it, Song!” you warned, pinching her arm.

“Come on, Dear” she crooned, enveloping you in her arms again. “You know I like the gray on you.”

“I do” you pulled back to smile at her. “And I like that we look the same age again.”

“Same apparent age and same mental age” River agreed. “Shame those two don't match up, though.”

“How do you mean?” you asked.

“Well, we're still behaving like teenagers” she explained, offering you another wink, “snogging in a field of lavender.”

“Ah” you understood, nodding sagely, “shame for the farmer then, not for us.”

“Obviously” River grinned. “Shame for them. Us two? We are brilliant.”

“Yeah, we are” you sighed happily, stepping back but pulling her with you by her hand. “Let's go steal some lavender, then? You still carry those sickles around?”

She snorted, following you onto the fragrant field. “Of course. What kind of a woman doesn't?”

Thank you so much for reading! Reblogs and comments are very much appreciated ❤

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