bee-the-loser

[bee-the-loser]

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₊ ⊹☼ Pairing: The8/Xu Minghao x reader ₊ ⊹☼ Synopsis: Multiple chance encounters across lives, with a soul somehow fated to yours throughout ₊ ⊹☼ Genre: Reincarnation au, slight fantasy/historic au ₊ ⊹☼ Word count: 1.67k ₊ ⊹☼ Warnings: Mentions of death, loss and grief. Minor character death mentions ₊ ⊹☼ A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for a while as I didn't feel that the story was done yet. However, it's at a good point right now to post. Maybe I'll return to add to it further at one point though.

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Loss is an emptiness that eats away at the soul, a metaphorical knife carving it’s design on the surface but leaving behind wounds deep enough to bleed. And the strange thing about loss is you let it. In a sense it’s a sickly beautiful thing to experience as the blood pours out staining over the pure memories and taints them to be forever red. A crimson red that’s the same as the heart that somehow still beats inside your chest, because while it feels like everything should be still, time moves on. Time still encourages hearts to beat and wounds to bleed.

And bleed they do…

Your first loss shouldn’t be considered that actually. There are so many factors that completely contradict it as “the first loss you experienced”. For a start, you had lost people before. A woman who never had the chance to be a mother, your mother, passing away before she got even a second with her child. A young boy, who once you considered a brother, starved under the night sky with his eyes locked onto the moon. After all, Grief was no stranger to your soul. He visited often and settled in your bones like a heavy sick reminder of life.

No, none of these was your first loss. A kind of deep grief, yes, but they felt inevitable somehow.

Your first loss came in a form you never expected. A loss of opportunity and the questions of what could have been. Leaving the first scar of many dotted over your skin.

You didn’t know his name the first time, you barely got to know him at all actually. It was a fleeting moment that stopped the world if just for a second. Even if it was just for you.

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The makeshift grave you created when Chan died was positioned out in a forest glade on the edge of town, giving him the privacy and peace he deserved. An ideal place for him to continue watching the night sky like he did when he was tangible, and now as a star, a place for him to look down on from above. It seems childish now thinking that was how the world worked, that he would stick around for you.

You know better now.

You had been spending the afternoon visiting him, after collecting flowers for your little stall, coming to rest up in the willow tree sheltering the glade from the outside view. The branches allowing you a raised position to look down below, which is how you spotted him initially. This dark haired beauty dressed in clothes that didn’t seem typical for that of normal adventurers. You assumed that’s what he must be, no one else tends to come out that far. Somehow, he had stumbled onto Chan’s clearing though, only the fates may know how, and came to a pause in front of the poorly carved headstone you placed on the first death anniversary. It didn’t matter that there was no body to bury, his memory would live on.

Something about that resonated in this figure’s mind. It wasn’t obvious at first but moments later when you got the first glimpse at his soul-bearing eyes and the way they scanned the words told you all you needed. He was memorising the words, breathing out his very essence into the world and immortalising this time. The phrase you had heard many times before bringing tears to your eyes as it was spoken out loud after a year again.

“The moon sure is lonely tonight”. He was just reading out loud that time, but maybe that’s why it left such an impact. There were no deeper connotations or commitments that suffocated the moment. It was raw and real.

If given the chance of every lifetime, you would chose to return to this moment eternally.

He left not long after that with a new print on his soul in the name of Lee Chan and the fleeting thoughts of a phrase once whispered. It wasn’t until afterwards that you saw the carefully placed bundle of forget-me-nots. Flowers that symbolise memorises and the concept of thinking of loved one ones while one is away. You don’t remember ever have crying as hard as you did that night as you allowed yourself to break down after having repressed everything for a long time. The hope that someone else would continue to think of the young boy and maybe one day return providing a sort of comfort you never realised you needed.

You continued with your routines and visits but never once saw the stranger again. Your first loss came unexpectedly and you couldn’t help but think of what could have happened if things were different. Had Chan been alive to greet him? Had you spoken out to him? Had you got to know him? But you didn’t and so the opportunity passed by and life continued until death came to claim you too.

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What you didn’t expect was the life that came after and the memories that flickered back to you slowly. You could remember it all clearly at first but the more time progressed and lives were lived, the hazier things became. So you wrote to remember. Diary entries inked across pages depicting and detailing each moment and connection you continued to share.

It took you a total of three lives to realise you and your stranger were somehow connected. You seemed destined to spot him under the moonlight over and over again, each time bringing something new for you to note.

However, it was your fourth life that something truly changed, with an opportunity for the two of you to introduce yourselves. A night-time balcony overlooking the palace gardens providing a shared relief from the noise of the party inside. You had yet to see your stranger that lifetime and you certainly weren’t expecting to find him approaching you from behind on his own escape from the ballroom.

Your eyes had found comfort in the solitude of the starlit sky, with a faint recollection of a young voice discussing constellations in great enthusiasm. Your body curled up onto the stone edge with the coldness contrasting to the heat radiating from the party inside. There had been no mention of the balcony being off limits but it seemed abandoned in that moment similar to how you felt. Maybe that is why when you heard the small thuds of footsteps approaching you assumed it was a guard coming to bring you inside. However, as you turned around to face them, your breath stalled inside your throat.

There he was…

Face to face, the moments that followed allowed you both to subtly scan each other’s figures, sharing a second of joint solitude. His clothes reflecting his obviously high social status, yet you naturally found yourself focusing on his deep, knowledgeable eyes. The ones that both equally haunted and comforted your thoughts. Then he spoke and his light voice rung out in a whisper like he was afraid to break the silence.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you, but I needed some time away from the chaos and couldn’t help but notice you out here alone with only the moon for company. You both seemed rather lonely tonight. Would you mind me joining you?”

The paraphrasing of the familiar line rang in your ears as you couldn’t help but tear up and turn back to the full moon in an attempt for comfort.

“Not at all, feel free to join us.”

His figure stepping closer as he approached the balcony edge himself and admired the view before the two of you. It was a comfortable silence that followed, neither of you feeling the need to fill it with meaningless chatter at first. However, as you turned to gain another glance at him, wanting to capture every detail for your writing later on, your gaze fell onto the baby blue flowers that lay in his pocket.

“Forget-me-nots?”

As he turned to meet your eyes, he saw the way they lingered onto his flowers and then noticed the similar ones decorated into your own outfit.

“Hmm, there is something special about the resilience of these little blossoms which bloom in clusters throughout marshy harsh terrain. In a sense I admire the way they manage to preserve and grow with those tough conditions. It’s something I often see reflected in humanity, although, unlike the flowers, not often do people manage to make it full bloom I find.”

The philosophical answer was not one you had expected from him, but certainly wasn’t unwelcome. You had your own greater meanings to the flowers that you shared back with careful consideration, still unsure of if your stranger retained his memories like you. It was something you noted in a previous life where you tried to speak to a different Chan and was left alone once more, that not everyone had the privilege, or was it a curse, to remember like you do.

“For me, they symbolise remembering those who once were but no longer are. A promise to keep the memories of them alive for as long as you live. The stories you experienced and the thoughts you shared allowing a part of them to stay.”

Silence settled back down between the two of you, which is why you could hear the song that started to play out by the band. A slow dance of sorts. In some twist of destiny, he reached his hand out and asked for your hand before the two of you spent time twirling across the balcony. This moment shared only by you two and the sky.

As you came to a close and the clocks chimed to signal an hour passing, with you settled in your stranger’s arms, two names were breathed out into the universe before you parted ways and he disappeared back into the ball.

“Xu Minghao.”

A name meaning brightness and vastness, one that seemed to fit the person you came to spend time with perfectly.

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[bee-the-loser]

₊ ⊹☼ BRINGING THE SUN AND STARS ☼⊹ ₊ ──────────────────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────────────────── ₊ ⊹☼ Pairing: Wen Junhui x reader ₊ ⊹☼ Synopsis: Jun enters both your cat cafe and your life on a random Thursday afternoon one day, leading to a connection bigger than both of you initially would have expected. ₊ ⊹☼ Genre: Cat cafe au, fluff, sunshine boy Jun, more reserved reader ₊ ⊹☼ Word count: 1,275 ₊ ⊹☼ Warnings: None that I can think of ₊ ⊹☼ A/N: Hope you all like this, my brain decided it was time to write and somehow this came into existence :D ──────────────────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───────────────────

Maybe it was the way the sunlight was shining through the blinds of your small cafe “A Cats Comfort” or maybe it was the way his own smile seemed to rival the sun’s rays, but you found that you couldn’t help the corners of your mouth twitching upwards whenever Jun came around. He seemed to radiate warmth that filled anyone and everyone with infectious positivity, allowing joy to flourish. You never could have imagined that a few months ago, one afternoon would change your calculated every day routine.

It didn’t seem like anything special at first, just a regular Thursday afternoon, but looking back now you can’t help but feel like the world came to a halt for the moment where Wen Junhui walked into your café. He was curious of the new environment you observed as he entered, eyes scanning his surroundings until they inevitably fell onto you. That’s when you first really started to pay attention to him as a person, his cat like eyes locking onto yours and seeming to shine with something you didn’t have the time to determine before he came bounding up to the counter.

A little shyly at first, but gaining confidence the more he spoke, he let out a little ramble about how he discovered the place. “Hi there, I was wondering around the area looking for somewhere to grab a bite and then I saw this little place hiding away and couldn’t help but be enticed by the idea of coffee. Then I saw the cats and just needed to come inside, so I was wondering if I get an iced americano and pet some of the cuties about.”

You couldn’t help but let out a little giggle at the end that shocked yourself as you were typically a bit more stoic in nature, but something about this boy let your guard lower even in your first moments. “Sure, you can take a seat anywhere, treats are in the jar on the counter to the left and I’ll get started on your drink. Could I get a name, Sunshine boy?”

“Uh, Wen Junhui, just Jun works actually.”

“Thanks, I’ll bring it over when it’s ready.”

He blushed for a moment before retreating towards the other counter and you turned around to get started. The moments you took to make the drink seemed to stretch out and feel like eternity, when all you really wanted to do was observe the boy you couldn’t help but feel rivalled the sun. You were in for an even bigger shock though as upon walking over you couldn’t help but come to a halt as you took in the scene in front of you. It seemed his charms even worked on the feline species, as Bandit, the notoriously hard to win over older cat had been comfortably positioned himself lounging across Jun’s lap.

“I see you’ve made a friend there, huh Bandit, your normally rather specific with your choices. He hasn’t taken to anyone other than me before, you must be special then Mister Wen.”

“Oh, uh you can call me Jun, but he just needed a little scratch and love before he climbed right on top of me.”

“Well, I trust he has good tastes, here’s your coffee, I’ll be over there if you need anything…”

“Wait! Uh, would you be free to keep me company, no issue if you can’t, I just thought that since we’re the only ones in here...”

“Jun, it’s okay, I’d love to, give me one sec, to put some of this stuff down and then I’ll come sit down.”

You both spent the next two hours appreciating the company and conversation that felt natural to the both of you, before he eventually left with promises to return when possible.

And return he did.

Every week Jun would stumble into your little abode and spend time with both you and Bandit, becoming closer as you got to know each other. It wasn’t any surprise for you, when you inevitably started to fall for the boy you called sunshine and spent most afternoons either texting or hanging out with. He was just impossible not to like, which is why you were sure nothing would ever come from it, as a guy like Jun surely must already have someone who could give him the stars. You were content with admiring from afar as long as he continued to shine.

Eventually your lives started to overlap and intertwine even more, when you started to meet each other’s friends and spend weekends curled up watching shows at one of your apartments. Saturday nights becoming movie nights for the two of you, with occasional interruptions from the new combined friend group. Your close friends Seungkwan and Seokmin had really hit it off with his dance partner and roommate Soonyoung, when they first met one day at the café. As a result, they often burst through your door to spend time hanging out as a group followed by Jun and his other two roommates: a photographer and art enthusiast by the name of Xu Minghao and a university student by the name Lee Chan, with a strange nickname of Dino. Your week becoming much more enjoyable with the additions of them all into your life and you can’t help the smiles that now seem to come out whenever they’re around.

As it turns out though, you weren’t the only person who had a hobby of observing, as Minghao soon caught onto your little crush and liked to lovingly tease you about it in private. Your friendship allowing room for playful teasing and banter between the two of you, with a greater bond developing after you discovered your shared love of artwork. Although, he also became your biggest supporter in your little crush, which you did struggle to understand at first. You couldn’t comprehend how he thought you were worthy of bringing sunshine boy happiness and love. You were sure he deserved someone better than yourself, but Hao wouldn’t hear it and even pushed forward with encouraging you to confess. After then he would go out of his way to distract the others while you all hung out allowing the both of you some time to yourselves.

The result of which led to a moment on a warm, summer Saturday night, where the two of you found yourself sat watching the sunset on the local riverbank. The orange and pink hues highlighting the scene and making it feel like something out of a movie. Your bodies naturally coming to become close to one another until you were basically leaning on Jun while your eyes never left the sinking sun.

However, he couldn’t help but stare at your face as it lit up with the different hues that painted patterns across your features, his focus flickering to your lips more often than could be considered friendly. In the end, he couldn’t help himself. Maybe it was the sinking sun or the ways your eyes seemed to sparkle as you turned to face him that gave him the confidence.

Whatever it was though, he can’t help but thank the universe as your lips finally connect and the world jumps back into motion. His entrance into your life stopping your universe and allowing you time to run towards hope and happiness, before your kiss restarted the universe as your chase comes to an end. Your sunshine boy had brought it straight to your door.

And as the light disappears beneath the earth and the night encompasses the sky, you realise maybe you could give him the stars, just like how he gave you the sun.

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[bee-the-loser]

*actually I am kinda wondering how does one know if they’re asexual or aromatic?

I mean sexuality is a huge spectrum and everyone experiences it differently meaning people will all have unique experiences. I personally went through multiple labels before I even figured out I was aro/ace.

In my own experience, I figured out I was asexual first, and then aromantic followed a little bit later. A friend at the time was talking about their experience as a lesbian and mentioned feeling gross around like shirtless men and how attracted they were to women and that was when I realised that sexual attraction was an actual physical thing. Like people have a physical response or something, I don't fully understand and probably won't ever. Aromantic for me was more of a I have never experienced crushes and at this point struggle heavily imagining myself in a romantic relationship. Maybe consider how you feel about potential relationships and what is important to you in relation to them. I'm personally incredibly happy with just platonic relationships cause I get everything I could want from them.

[bee-the-loser]

₊ ⊹☼ #FAD6A5 Orange ☼⊹ ₊ ──────────────────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────────────────── ₊ ₊ ⊹☼ Pairing: Heeseung x reader ₊ ⊹☼ Synopsis: Your professor asks you to create a new selection of paintings based off what colours mean to you and how they are represented in your view. The first colour: orange ₊ ⊹☼ Genre: College au, soulmate au, artist reader, colourblind reader ₊ ⊹☼ Word count: 992 ₊ ⊹☼ Warnings: Small mention of hook-ups ₊ ⊹☼ A/N: Okay first proper chapter, working my way slowly into it ₊ ⊹☼ Previous ☼⊹ ₊ ₊ ⊹☼ Masterlist ☼⊹ ₊ ₊ ⊹☼ Next ☼⊹ ₊ ──────────────────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───────────────────

University was becoming more stressful with each project piling up creating what felt like a never ending list. You had been working on your most recent art piece, a collage which depicted smaller sketches from throughout your week now delicately inked onto canvas. The black dripping down and staining the path in its wake, creating strong themes of connection and bonds. It was one of your favourite works so far and you were pleased that your seat mate, Sunoo, seemed to agree with that fact as he had become incredibly interested in watching the way you left strokes with your brush.

Maybe, that’s why it felt even more shocking for your professor to ask you to stay after class finished, so he could give you some extra feedback.

“While I can see you’re a very talented artist y/n, you’re too linear and set in your ways. I want to see the passion and emotion flourish. Showcase your feelings and life onto the canvas and make something unique. I want to see you succeed and you can’t keep going forward like this. You know what though, I’ll set you an extra task, starting next week, I want you to create a small painting collection depicting individual colours and what they mean to you.”

“But Miss, I can’t-”

“I’m very much aware of your circumstances, however, that is why I feel this task is even more important. Yes, you don’t view the world the same way as everyone else. So what? I see how your classmates depict colours every day through the clothes they wear, the paints they use, the make-up they display. Hell, your seatmate Mr Kim has bright pink hair as way to express himself, but you don’t. I think that’s what makes it even more important to show how things appear to you. I’ll be waiting.”

After returning back to your dorm and greeting the roommates, you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it all. Sitting in front of your canvas didn’t seem to help as you had no idea where to start or even the tools to do. You had never bothered with colours in the past, so why start now? However, Miss Kang was leaving no room for argument, expecting to see the results in the near future.

That room started to feel suffocating and you just needed to be some place else, so as the light outside began to dim you made the trek up the stairs to the rooftop, where you sat down on the lone bench facing the rest of the city. You weren’t sure how long you had been up there when the door slammed open and a slightly tipsy boy stumbled out and plonked himself down next to you.

“Hi”, he said with this blinding and slightly wonky smile on his face.

You mumbled a “hi” back before facing back towards the cityscape where the sun had begone to set behind the buildings and bustling roads. You knew if you focused on his face for too long you would want to sketch it, he was that type of pretty and you couldn’t help sneaking a few peaks back as he rested his eyes for a moment.

You knew who he was, being a friend of Sunoo’s, as the two shared a lunch table often with their 5 other friends, all of who had managed to cause some sort of stir in the times they had been here.

Lee Heeseung.

He was a good guy from what the rumours said, although an unfortunate track records of hook ups alongside his fellow friends in their 3rd year. Maybe that’s why you decided to ask, because you were both so different in personality. Him being confident, courageous and just overall unafraid of being himself and what attention he may receive as a result, while you shied away and tried to fade into the background as much as possible. So with the previous conversation with your teacher on your mind, you asked him “what do the colours express to you?”

You didn’t really expect him to answer so let it hang in the air before turning back to the view.

He seemed to startle at the question like he hadn’t been expecting you to talk to him honestly, and took a moment to collect himself before pausing to think. Unexpectedly enough he did answer you though.

“I guess that depends on which one your talking about, take this sunset though. The soft orange that dominates the skies suggest to me an idea of adventures to come. That the day is coming to a close and the night will soon take over allowing both those that slumber and those that stay awake to each take refuge in the privacy of the night. It can be the warmth that comforts you in moments like these when you want to wrap up in bundles of sweaters and coats to go out with friends or the roar of a fire burning in your ears as you become pissed off.” He seemed to take a minute to breathe there after sharing before attempting to play it all off like a joke, “or you know an orange?”

It was only a few minutes at most, but it felt like something had shifted between the two of you, like you had seen something he wasn’t ready to share yet. You didn’t even know if he knew your name, yet a moment now tied you two together; both equally unsure and contemplating how to move further forwards.

In the end, you decided it best to leave him alone with his thoughts, retreating back down to your dorm, and once more staring at the blank canvas in front of you. This time though, the sparks of an ember were there and you painted long into the night before settling down to sleep as the sun rose and a vivid orange for new beginnings set the scene.

[bee-the-loser]

₊ ⊹☼ Prologue - #808080 Grey ☼⊹ ₊ ──────────────────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────────────────── ₊ ₊ ⊹☼ Pairing: Heeseung x reader ₊ ⊹☼ Synopsis: An introduction to reader's life growing up in grey-scale and how they found their love for art ₊ ⊹☼ Genre: College au, soulmate au, artist reader, colourblind reader ₊ ⊹☼ Word count: 506 ₊ ⊹☼ Warnings: Mentions of death, connotations to self-harm and slight bullying. (Take care to put yourself first) ₊ ⊹☼ A/N: I'll probably post a little explanation of how the soulmate system works in this au, but it does take a backseat for a while to focus on other aspects. ₊ ⊹☼ Masterlist ☼⊹ ₊ ₊ ⊹☼ Next ☼⊹ ₊ ──────────────────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───────────────────

A greyscale world was all you had ever known, there was no vivid pops of colour, just the dulcet hues of light and dark. A sort of smoky look that made the whole world blend into one another and seem to go on for miles and miles. It wasn’t something you minded at first, not knowing any better as a young child, it was like living in an old-fashioned movie and you loved to take pleasure in the soft hues of some of the classics. It was comforting to know everyone could see them the same as you. The pictures moving across the screen and painting stories of romance and life. The slow dance of the decade done in the late foggy night.

However, things change and as you grew up the simple greys changed from clouds to storms and the fog that once encompassed your very being started to suffocate you. Breath didn’t come easily during those years. Things were different and you were different.

It became obvious in the ways whispers followed you around the corridors of school, with fingers pointing at your back and commenting on how unlucky you must be. How maybe you’ll even be so unlucky that you wouldn’t even be able to spot your soulmate link due to your condition.

Because that’s what it was to them, a condition. Achromatopsia. The diagnosis didn’t come as a shock to you but the aftermath scared you more than some word. It was something that left you isolated and alone as others finally had a reason for their hatred. They were so afraid that your unluckiness might somehow rub off on them too.

The greys no longer were slow dancing and fog, but instead were the storm clouds that accompanied your evening walks. The times where the blood dripping down your arms mixed with the pouring rain, leaving in your wake puddles of dismay. The grey of the silver blades that were your closest friend, accompanying your journey and the smoke that left you with one less parent, and sleepless nights.

The smoke that slipped through your fingertips and left behind ashes.

The months afterwards left you confused and more alone than ever, feeling for once like your vision almost reflected how you felt. Numb. You hadn’t been living freely for a while, but those days surviving felt almost impossible.

Solace ended up being found in a place you weren’t expecting at first. An empty sketchbook given by your therapist, where you inked out your monotone dreams and nightmares. It contained it all: the films, the slow dances, the whispers, the stares, the nights, the smoke, the fear, the smoke, the rage, the smoke…

But art allowed you to let go of it all, you could almost pick out these scenes in your brain and place them down to forget about for a while. You weren’t forgetting it all, you never would, but instead letting go became an easier process than before. The once ash covered fingertips made way for charcoal dusted hands.

[bee-the-loser]

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─────₊ ⊹☼ MASTERLIST ☼⊹ ₊──────

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Synopsis; Growing up seeing the world in only greyscale hadn't been exactly easy and now your art professor is requesting you incorporate a new palette of colours into your work. How will you find a way to determine what each hue means to you and how to appropriately represent each when you can't see them in the first place?

Pairing: Heeseung x reader

Genre: College au, soulmate au, fluff, some angst

Characters: Enhypen members

Warnings: Mentions of past death & wounds, connotations to self-harm, hatred towards soulmate bonds (to be added as more emerge)

Start: 06/03/23

Status: Ongoing

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Written

₊ ⊹☼ Prologue - #808080 Grey ₊ ⊹☼ #FAD6A5 Orange

[bee-the-loser]

When you just wake up with anxiety and spend all day just trying not to break down... I caffeinated myself as well... not a good choice

[bee-the-loser]

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Original Species: ☾☼ Elisiers ☾☼ Aleysians

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[bee-the-loser]

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KEY ☾☼ (f) - fluff ☾☼ (a) - angst ☾☼ (c) - comfort ☾☼ (so) - soulmate au ☾☼ (fm) - first meeting

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Enhypen

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Oneshots Jay ☼ The Gig (f) (fm) - 1.02k

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Series Masterlists Heeseung ☼ To Build a Palette (f) (a) (so)

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Seventeen

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Oneshots Jun ☼ Bringing the sun and stars (f) (fm) - 1.27k The8/Minghao ☼ Forget-me-not (f) (a) - 1.67k

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[bee-the-loser]

₊ ⊹☼ THE GIG ☼⊹ ₊ ──────────────────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────────────────── ₊ ⊹☼ Pairing: Jay x reader ₊ ⊹☼ Synopsis: Reader was invited by their friend to the gig, who just so happens to be the band's stylist, and manages to make eye contact with the electric guitar player. ₊ ⊹☼ Genre: Band au, basement gig, snarky characters ₊ ⊹☼ Word count: 1,023 ₊ ⊹☼ Warnings: None that I can think of ₊ ⊹☼ A/N: This is my first time writing fanfiction and honestly it's not amazing, but I'm here to learn and practice so oh well ╮(︶▽︶)╭ ──────────────────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────────────────── Maybe it was the constant talk about relationships and the expectation that you were meant to fall in love someday that resulted in the overthinking you were doing right now or maybe it was the constant force feeding of romance that media shoves down everyone’s throats; either way it resulted in those words spewing out of your mouth before you could even stop yourself.

“They’re really hot,” you mentioned, “the one playing the electric guitar on stage. He’s got that effortlessly attractive look about them, like you know they don’t even need to try to achieve it.”

Leaning back against the sidewall you were standing against, you surveyed the crowded basement room that was lit up with red LEDs, almost like a warning sign trying to alert you to change your mind before it was too late. You didn’t pay much attention to them then, but reflecting back now on that night you wish you had taken it as a sign and ran away as you were now too far gone.

You hadn’t lied though and from the looks of the crowd surrounding the old makeshift stage you weren’t the only one who had noticed it as well. Both girls and boys alike were swarming and batting their eyes at each member of the band. Honestly it made you want to puke a little with how love sick everyone seemed. He was attractive though with his bleach blond hair and a simple yet somehow sophisticated look.

Even though he had managed to catch your eye, you definitely weren’t looking for anything, mainly mentioning it to have something in common with the girls you had been talking too. Love had never been your forte, never feeling much in relation to anybody, so sometimes you would lie. You would use pretty words spoken in a sweet tone as a way to weaponize love when moments like these came about. Making the topic into a double edged sword piercing both sides of the conversation equally. Pretending to have crushes on strangers allowed you the safety net that came as a result of never seeing them ever again. You can fake being upset until the girls successfully get off your back and then you’re free from romance and couples until the cycle inevitably has to start again another time. How no-one has noticed at all shocks you but hey, you weren’t going to attract attention to your little scheme for no reason.

The tipsy girls that were keeping you company started to giggle a little more than they would usually though, and that’s when you mentally clocked back into the scene and noticed those eyes on you. Honestly, fate seemed to be a little too cliché at that point as your eyes met. Unlike the stories though, there was no fireworks or tunnel vision, you weren’t the protagonist in some romance novel, where this would be the moment that you noticed one another for the first time. In your opinion, you suited the sidekick character a lot better, being able to provide the witty commentary and call out the others on their bullshit when things started to become too much.

You certainly weren’t here for love like any of the other potential hook ups waiting to happen in the crowd that were swooning up close, instead coming to support your younger friend who had managed to become a stylist for the band somehow. You had plans to hang out together after the night ended and he got the ticket free as a bonus. Niki had always been good at fashion, but you were happy he was finally being taken seriously after some past experiences. You weren’t looking to fight anymore pissed-off strangers who got upset after he commented on their outfits, although it was unlikely those would be the last times even with his new gig.

Finally, guitar boy as you had dubbed him in your head moved his eyes off you, and the set came to a close. While the others moved outside with the swarm, trying to catch the band members when they head out, you stayed put waiting for Niki to come find you.

You were never the most patient person in the world and when 20 minutes later he still hadn’t emerged from the backstage, you were tempted to storm in without a care. Before you could move and potentially get thrown out, guitar boy entered to pack up some of the sound equipment. He noticed you at the same time you did and again the two of you locked eyes.

“Fans were meant to have left 20 minutes ago,” he snarked as he made his way to you.

“Who said anything about being a fan,” you shot back, “I’m waiting for Niki actually.”

“Oh? And how do you know him?”

“Not that it’s any of your business but we grew up together, and we’re meant to have plans to hang out this evening so he better get a move on before I leave his ass here and just go home.”

Somehow the tension seemed to be rising between the two of you, and you hadn’t realised how close you both had gotten until the creak of the stage door alerted the two of you to the situation at hand. He took a sharp step back before anyone could potentially notice and finally, Niki stumbled through with his bags, running up to you in a daze ranting about whatever topic that his hyperactive mind was focusing on right then. “Ahh y/n sorry for the wait, we can go now.” As he almost skipped up towards the exit, he seemed to clock that you weren’t alone and casted a look over his shoulder shouting “Bye Jay, hope you didn’t give them too much of a hard time”.

You grabbed some of his stuff that he dumped for you to take and slowly made your own way up the dimly lit staircase, however, before leaving you turned around one final time to see guitar boy, now known to be Jay, watching you with a somewhat intense gaze and then the doors swung shut behind you.

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[bee-the-loser]

Get to Know my Tags

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[bee-the-loser]

⋆☀︎｡ Bee ☼ They/He/She/Xe ☼ INFP ☼ Taurus ☼ 19 ｡☀︎⋆ ⋆☀︎｡ Practicing fanfiction/creative writing & drawing ｡☀︎⋆ ⋆☀︎｡ University student so my schedule is always messed up ｡☀︎⋆ ⋆☀︎｡ Current hyper-fixations: Xdinary Heroes, Boynextdoor, The Boyz, 8Turn, Seventeen, Ateez, TxT, NCT, Enhypen, Stray Kids ｡☀︎⋆

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[bee-the-loser]

New Species for my World-Building Project Species Name: Aleysians

Classification: Sub-Magic Wielder Ranking: B- (case to case basis tho) Powers: Aura reading, slight increased healing Explanation: Their abilities are passed down from the Elisier in their blood line so potency of their magic (and in retrospect strength of their powers) depends on how far down the bloodline they are. If the magic is still potent enough or awakened somehow, they are tend to manifest weak clairvoyancy. In truth, their abilities tend to be aura reading that with training can be used to determine potential futures through reading emotions and energies of people and locations.

Background Info: A sub-species of Elisiers and humans technically as the small amount of Elisiers mean that Elisier couples are basically impossible. Direct Aleysians are born from the reproduction of Elisiers with a mortal counterpart (making them a less common sub-species), however, generational Aleysians are more often found around (some even unaware of the fact they are one.

[bee-the-loser]

It's the sudden realisation that attraction is actually a thing that people experience and isn't just 'oh they look cool...' Also like the experience of faking crushes to try and fit in cause I didn't understand why I didn't actually feel anything for anyone.

[bee-the-loser]

New Species for my World-Building Project Species Name: Elisiers

Classification: Sub-Magic Wielder Ranking: S+ Powers: Rapid healing, Clairvoyance Power Explanation: The power they are most well known for is clairvoyance, essentially being able to predict the future. However, what makes this species especially unique is the fact that there is no set way in how they predict it. Some known methods are through dreams, visions, emotions, however, not a lot of information is known about them or the specifics...

Background Info: They are born from stardust, which is what grants them their abilities, due to star dust being magical residue. With it thriving within their very beings, they tend to be incredibly powerful beings. As a result, they are an extremely rare species, very few exist at the same time.

[bee-the-loser]

When you start bawling your eyes out at 3am cause wtf not, like y'all writers on here need to stop. You're all too talented, I don't feel this much emotion in general life, how dare you do this to me??!

[bee-the-loser]

The brain ain't braining today :(