beardedd0nut

[beardedd0nut]

The final countdown

So the ballet was pretty damn amazing. We got in with enough time to have a sneaky Bev and get ready for the performance. We were in for a treat with a Prima ballerina scheduled for the night and a double of carmin and some classical stuff. While the music in carmin was tempting me to sleep, the dancing was great. After the intermission the technicality was even better and the performance hoped to a different level. Overall it was a great night out.

Our next day was spent just casually sight seeing. We went to Saint basils, the main church you've seen in pictures of Moscow, and ventured inside. Again like many other of the orthodox churches it was great to see but they are all quite similar. Outside we got a sneaky Jew tang clan photo, then it was off to an amazing little Italian joint for lunch.

Bellies full and satisfied we spent the next couple of hours in the soviet arcade museum. This museum had a few dozen working old arcade machines. From shooting games to football, hockey foosball and driving games there was a little bit for everyone. When you're used to seeing the same buckhunt or house of the dead games, it was nice to see a different variety of games that shaped a whole different generation of people.

Our final night was an interesting one. We had to bus to our dinner spot, but after a cheeky hour long nap it turned out we had only gone a mere 2k of the 10k journey. To the metro it was. What would have taken us nearly two hours was a simple 20minutes on the trains because of how banked up the traffic was from crashes. Other than that it was a nice dinner followed by a few more cheeky bevs to celebrate Marks 30th. Happy birthdyay geezer. It was a great way to end the trip as a group and started to signal the end.

Most people left early the next morning and we all said our goodbyes ato the new mates we have made along the way. It's been a whirlwind 10 days and hardly feels like weve been gone at all, Finland seems simultaneously months and seconds ago in my mind. It was a great trip, and our guide Tim really helped to make sure it was the best time for everyone with what they wanted to do. Cheers again to all that I've met and best wishes for all your future travels.

Our final day has been a very relaxed one. We wandered round the city after moving to the next hotel and pretty much just went to get last minute souvineers and see the market. The biggest thing was ice skating in the red square. I haven't skated in a very long time but am happy to say that no knees were done and no trips were made. It was a great night followed once again by some great Italian food.

This trip has been a whole new experience seeing a part of the world I did not expect to ever visit. The snow has made it a really magic exp risen even and for the first time i can say it really felt like Christmas (well the one all the songs are about). I've had a great time travelling not only through Brussels and Bruges alone but then through Finland and Russia with Megan and the new friends we made through the topdeck crew. It's been a wonderful time away and I almost don't want to return, but it wouldn't be a holiday if we didn't have to eventually come back.

It's time to fly out tomorrow and then it'll be back to reality. So it's been real Russia, thanks for the good times and the beers and the vodkas. Finland and Estonia both were great places and I urge people to travel in winter. Sure you get a bit cold in the odd -6 day but it's a great way to see places and when they're lit up and snowing it's even better. Plus you're not pissing sweat all day or getting stuck in tropical sweat storms and humidity.

Peace out Eastern Europe, we'll meet again some day.

[beardedd0nut]

Sasquatch does Russia

Well fuck, it's that point in the trip where we have done a lot and I've drank a fair bit so my memory might be a little muddy but let's try and recant everything that happened between arriving in St Petersburg to now.

That second day we had a guided tour of the Hermitage in St Petersburg. Our tour guide olga was amazing, so enthusiastic and interesting to hear from. We rode the metro to the hermitage and went via the deepest metro tunnel in town, aspx 86meters deep. Crazy to to think I've been both 86 meters above the earth and below it this trip.

The hermitage was once a palace, I don't think I could stand cleaning the joint because it is fucking massive, but it is now a huge museum housing all kinds of art and artefacts from the Russian empire. It is said that if you spent one minute in front of every piece there that it would take you seven years... unfortunately our visas don't last that long so instead we got a massive 3 hour crash course. We saw pieces by Monet, and da Vinci, we saw the throne room, and ball rooms and massive roofs painted to look like sculptures.. it was an overload. Everything has been soaked in history or masterworks and my god is it intense. Three hours in a museum is long at the best of times but with detailed stories attached and the little bits and pieces in every piece to look at it was almost too tiring to even stand and soak it all in, but amazing none the less.

Oir lunch was at a nice little local Russian place, followed swiftly by a visit to the church of the spilled blood. This is the church where a tsar was killed and so his son set up a memorial church in his honour. These Russian orthodox churches are really quite beautiful. Outside is usually any number of orbs or do,es decorated in colour or gold and inside they are covered, as in not one inch is spared, of religious depictions. Wether it is painting or scripture or sculpture not one surface remains untouched. Also apparently if you've seen Anastasia it means something, but I, not sure about that.

The evening saw a few of us wander down the main shopping district and back to the hotel. Now it's not like I don't already know I look like a tourist, but that doesn't mean that every other Russian scumbag pickpocket needed to try and get me. If that's your game dude be good at it, don't just expect me to stop do you can try and rip me off, were both better than that.

That evening a few of us went off to a craft beer place not far from where we were staying. It was awesome. I can't seem to stay away from the craft beers, even in a country famous for it's vodka. They had some beautiful IPAs and Kreigs on tap, as well as a cheeky imperial stout. It wasn't supposed to be a big night but uhh yeah, it was kinda big. The following morning was slightly thick, but that's never stopped anyone, so a couple of hydralites and it was out into the world.

The last day in st Petersburg began with a trip to the faberge museum. This was a beautiful fine art museum, and along with that came a security check and some high fashion plastic covers for my boots. Inside were 9 of the legendary eggs. They are so beautiful and elaborate and may never be replicated again. The eggs were made for the romanofs over several easters during their reign. Some just had a little picture or a hen within, but others held photo frames of family members or replicated a tree with a small bird inside. Each one was amazing to see and truly stunning.

The rest of the museum contained everything from silverware to cigarette boxes. These items were also created by faberge masters and had their own level of beauty within, and within a few rooms paintings that looked as though they were glowing on the walls that they stood. So we easily spent an hour or more just soaking up the stunning artworks within.

After such a big end morning it was time to go to the vodka museum. Walking through town we passed a lovely snow covered park and the back of saint isacs cathedral, but more on that later. The vodka museum held some nice old pieces within, but all the information was in Russian... and the audio guide was over and hour long for a room not much bigger than an average one bedroom apartment. However the entry included a vodka tasting, so that made up for it 😉 the first was a basic 5times distilled vodka, smooth and easy to drink. The second was infused with juniper and it had a gin aftertaste, not for me. The third was infused with pine nuts, it was different and I'm still not sure how to feel about it. The bar had a 1500 dollar bottle of vodka as well as a bottle shaped like an AK47. Was really funky.

After the vodka it was time to hit another cathederal. Buying tickets was difficult with the language barrier, and the woman selling me them didn't seem to understand that I wanted entry to the museum and the climb up to the top. The climb, while not as big as the belfry in Bruges, was trickier because it was about 200steps spiralling straight up. It gave a wonderful view of the city and caused me some serious jelly legs on the way down. Inside it was once again lovely and laced in gold and with some nuns and priests singing in the background it really added to the atmosphere.

That night was a new experience of travelling. An overnight train. While not particularly luxurious, I must say that twit was slightly more comfortable than on the plane. At least we got to lie down instead of staying seated like on the busses or planes. The only issue was it left late and we had to get off early, so I maybe got 4 hours sleep. This was followed by a 40 minute trip to the hotel, and a 3 hour bus/walking tour. I slept through most of the bus portion because a) I was tired as fuck and b) our new tour guide speaks like white noise and in a whisper like tone and could not be fucking harder to hear.

We finally got out somewhere near the red square and st basils, the famous church in town. We walked around and saw some churches, they are fucking everywhere in this town alongside the theatres. We also saw a great many plumes of smoke emitting from a power station or something similar near town. Then the red square and its lovely Christmas market. Before hittin the market it was necessary for a quick venture into lenins tomb. The man has been dead many a year and his body looks almost like a wax figure, and not gonna lie was half expecting him to get back up.

We met up and had a cheeky nap before heading out to dinner for some more traditional Russian foods. This included a beef borsch, it was delicious and full of flavour, and a couple more shots of vodka 😁

Today it was back with our stupidly fucking quiet tour guide for a trip into the city to see the kremlin. Again a lot of security, honestly it's crazier than the states. But to get inside the huge red walls and see the kremlin inside was really cool. Inside we weren't allowed to go to many places but saw the building Putin works in and the churches used by e royal families. One for baptism and birth, one for coronation and one for burying. It's practically a city within the city and has even been saved from destruction several times over.

We followed this with a quick tour of the metro. The brown line, yes it's a big brown ring line like a huge areshole around town, holds some great art within many of its station stops. The great thing is that the trains run so fast and frequently that we could get off, look at the mosaics or stain glass windows, and get back in within about 5-10 minutes. If that was Melbourne you'd be waiting a fucking half hour between stops.

Curenntly im just chilling in the hotel and getting ready to see the Russian ballet tonight. There will be a Prima ballerina and all, and it's pretty exciting to have such an experience. There's only a few days left in this strange yet beautiful land, and I'm going to try and fit in as much as possible.

The next update will most likely come the day before or the day I leave. Hope you've once again enjoyed this cheeky update, chatchya soon with some more adventures and tales.

[beardedd0nut]

Oh hi #Moscow https://www.instagram.com/p/BrPVQDnlCNXc15CIjHow3wOnI7oqRlRQEykidc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=w8ggnzrxu5ij

[beardedd0nut]

At the Hermitage. #StPetersburg #Hermitage #Snow #History #Russia https://www.instagram.com/p/BrKMaG6F354H3BxwWlPtiXrr5Rdn7Z5g27VnB80/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1gd0wao2gwn9u

[beardedd0nut]

Medieval to communist, all changes from here

Ok so a little bit of an update from in the road. That first day in Helsinki was pretty damn big, much alike that first day in brussels too hard too fast.so the second day we had was spent wandering the streets and seeing bits we missed before meeting up with the tour group. The most interesting thing we found was that the city seemed to loop in on itself, well that or we just kept going in stupid circles... the Christmas markets were nice and resulted in me purchasing a fancy little handmade knife, I wanted a belt but there were none in my size so I went for the next best thing.

We got on the sky wheel that while not underwhelming just wasn't anything to write home about. Melbournes star is an absolute joke, but it is in a good position and gives a pretty reasonable view of the city, this just let us see the port and a slightly taller view of the city than you get on the ground. After that we met up with the majority of the tour group and our wonderful trip leader Tim.

Tim took us for a walk through the town that night and to the Christmas market again. The walk itself was nice, but the rain and snow combination was something none of us were ready for. It's like having little pieces of snow land in your eye is quaint, but being drenched and having snow hit you in the face is kinda sucky. After a short stop, a group picture, and finding out that the darude sandstorm video was filmed at the large church residing over the Christmas market we went on for a few pre dinner bevs (always the best way to get to know peeps)

Dinner was a strange combination of sort of raw salmon for the entree, chicken in something for dinner, and yogurt with orange stuff... might have been a little cut and not really sure what any of it was but it was edible and that's all you need sometimes. The following morning was spent just hanging around before getting on the ferry to Estonia. The ferry was less a ferry and more a small cruise ship. It got a little bumpy in a couple of spots, but for 2 hours it wasn't that bad overall, far better than the shitty little boat I had in mind.

Estonia itself is very lovely. Nice historic buildings in the old town, and apparently the birthplace of the first ever Christmas tree. It's still really hard getting used to this whole 6-8hours of light thing, it seriously fucks with you and I can easily see why the Norwegians go crazy and burn down churches and shit. The Christmas market here was even cuter than the one in Helsinki and we got a quick taste of a local mulled wine or rum like concoction, I tried some of the rum and it was mighty tasty and relatively cheap. The diner was a simple salad and steak but the surly barmaid obviuosly wasn't too far into her job coz she had a face like a smacked arse for most of the evening.

The following day was cold, like fucking cold. It has been cold anyway but the fucking wind was near unbearable. We all started the walking tour with a chill, but by halfway through a cafe break was beyond needed. The city itself, well the old town, has buildings and churches dating back to the 15th century. The houses and buildings are quite brightly coloured when compared to other older towns, and with the slowly melting glaciers Estonia is actually slowly rising up each year meaning the town we know would have been totally different back in the day.

We passed through where the monks had built a few places to take care of the sick and unwell, they honoured this by erecting big bronze statues that just look like death hanging around, and it would be creepy as shit at night. While trying to get around people I decided to take a dirt track instead of the pavement and guess who ate shit on some black ice? This guy. Came down right on the knees and wrists, but kept the camera safe and that's the main thing.

The churches in town are mostly orthodox Russian ones, the Estonian people are relatively unfazed by religion so to see these grand pieces with huge decorations within is very strange. The artwork held within the church walls is stunning, truly amazing but it feels like every old church in Europe had mastercraft peoples who were dedicated to their crafts putting the places together. The other church we went to had several tombs within and on all the walls were the family coat of arms for each group buried underneath.

The last church was followed by a trip to a local pancake place for lunch that was recommended by our walking tour guide. The pancakes were great, and at a great price too, nothing like the kidney you have to give up at the pancake parlour. A few of us decided to trek up to the palace made for One of the nobles after the delicious meal and found that the cold was somewhat subsiding.

The palace itself was host to a few different gardens, including the winter garden that was pretty much just small neatly trimmed hedges. Inside it is now a museum that shows off the artworks created by locals. Their art included crazily realistic sculptures all the way through to see-expressionist stuff. It was a lovely afternoon that was followed by a great evening filled with elk no boar pies (maybe the best meat pie I've ever had, I had about 5) and yet again bevvies.

Yesterday had just been spent travelling into Russia, more specifically St Petersburg. The drive was kind of meh being slightly hungover but the dickhead bus driver blasting the heating then the aircon wasn't helping. Crossing the border from Estonia into Russia was a very strange experience. We got taken off the bus and had to walk through to get our passports stamped, meanwhile thinking what was gonna happen if they wanted to search them. I could have made diamonds in my butt there was that much tension.

This arvo/ evening consisted of the fuckwit bus driver going back to Estonia instead of returning or the hotel and thus delaying our driving tour of the city. We still saw it all, but the dumb mother fucker had one job and screwed it up. This city is stunning, I had never realised it was a series of islands connected via bridges. The city was created to put up a pretty front and invite people to trade with Russia, the tsar at the time even forcing people to move there from Moscow. Dinner was held at a dinner and show place where we saw a dance show from some locals. It was kind of cheesy, but man can some of them dance. The dinner even included a sneaky shot of vodka that was thoroughly enjoyable.

That's about it for now. Looking at a couple more days here in St Petersburg then it's off to Moscow to finish it all up.

Catchyas all soon

[beardedd0nut]

Bought myself a new toy at the Christmas market. #HandMade #knife #Bladesmith #StabbyStabby #PointyFriend https://www.instagram.com/p/BrAgMVYlquV_JuptIWZw_Y13sBT8ZiNkB2WYfs0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1qa6hdxij3vdw

[beardedd0nut]

So little sun light, so much crammed in

Aye aye, the last we spoke I was finishing up in Bruges, but what I didn't really mention was that it was then time to get into Helsinki and start up with the second phase of the trip. This second phase also for once involves and travel buddy and friend in Megan. So we met up at the airport and monied on in to town at around 4 finding out very quickly that there isn't much daylight this time of year.

So the first night in we decided to for a wander around the city and look at what it had to offer in the darkness. Helsinki itself is all dressed up in its festive gear with Christmas lights and markets all over the place. Walking through and seeing blacksmiths with home made iron jewelry, tasting the best chilli infused cheese ever and having a light snowfall was really quite magic. The other major bonus is that Christmas carols make sense. Because yes it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas, at least a real one with snow not fucking 30odd degree heat.

Yesterday we decided to try and cram in as much as we could with the little daylight we had, and this meant starting off with the fortress island. Actually named Suomenlinna this island has in the past been an integral foothold for the Finnish and seen many a battle over the years. It's quite quaint to see it now without all the soldiers and wars, kinda felt a little like salem. Oh and there's a nice long hallway with some serious fuck that vibes at the end, but that might have been part of the old prison.

The museums on the island itself show the rich history it has had, from its startings to its strategic place,met and how the many wars were handled on the island. The military museum would have been great if you liked military strategy and seeing the play by plays of the wars, and the toy museum had some really interesting bits and pieces from the 1800's through to the 1960's and was just built out of someone's house.

From the museum it was a short tram ride, yes you read that right tram ride, up to the rock chapel. This chapel built into the bedrock and with a huge copper ceiling was astounding. A main attraction for the town it's easy to see why it is so popular with weddings, the acoustics and aesthetics are remarkable and the cracks in the rocks allow small amounts of water to trickle through.

We kept the church theme going with a visit to the silent chapel. A tiny little place in the centre ish of town that is what it says. Looking like a big cookie jar from the outside it's just a huge cylinder that people stay silent in, even if some bitch looks like she's set up to have lunch in there.

A hop step and jump later found us at the design museum. This was a very interesting place to be, I had never realised how much great, and weird, design had come from the fins. They had such a plethora of items on display and everything from knives and forks through to life straws (those things third world kids get to suck water out of puddles n shit) new age cycling airbags and comfy chairs. The ideas of design and architecture don't seem all that interesting, but when put in the rig setting tell a very interesting story about the need for human inventions and good efficient designs in everyday life, as well as showing how it affects us all without even knowing.

The evening was spent with a cheeky power nap, a lovely burger, and a few hours spent chilling out at the riff. All in all it's been a hectic and busy couple days in Helsinki and it's only going to get busier as we start our topdeck tour today where we are sure to meet some more interesting people and travel from here through to the big red motherland... Russia.

So just a quick little update, but trust us it was a very big 24 hour period.

Catch you on the flip side with a brand spanking new edition coming after the tour has begun and the shenanigans ensue.

[beardedd0nut]

Cheeky post dinner bevs at the riff #TheRiff https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq-ZzaLlWXofBiuTjHQCQwKh_fagcd8QkWEnMg0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=cxhupgsdzc08

[beardedd0nut]

Hey Ali miss these? :D

[beardedd0nut]

It's like a fucking fairytale

Alrighty let's pick up where we last left off.

I wound up getting to a hipster pizza place (they seem to find me more than I find them) where a few tasty beverages were had along side a nice classic Margherita pizza. After that I wandered on up to hotel diligence where the infamous midget scene was filmed, I got one gay beer but had alas no manky hookers or racist dwarfs.

The next morning it was up and at em to get to the groeninge museum. This contains several important pieces from the Flemish natives, as I found they were called, including the eerie one of a man being flayed for not upholding the justice system. The images within the museum are amazing. I've seen old pieces befor, but none like this. From just a few feet away some of these paintings look like photographs. The detail held within them is astonishing and it's easy to see how and why these people are renowned masters of their craft.

Once again the history of the town came through as many of the pieces were commissioned by the noblemen of the times. The prosperity that the noblemen had brought these talents to the city and it's why there is such a rich world of art hidden just below the surface. Even the chapels and mini cathedrals have so many little pieces of beauty within that it's really hard not to get stuck in each and every one staring into the brickwork and being sucked into the history of it all.

After the groeninge museum I moved on to the Bruges beer experience. And what an experience it is. I was expecting like a funky little museum with a few facts about the local breweries and the Belgian beer world as a whole but no. This is a an interactive self guided fountain of knowledge depending on just how deep into the rabbit whole you want to go.

The experience starts you off where it all begins. Brewing. It takes you through the ingredients used, the ways the smell and taste, the effects they have on the process of brewing, hell even the process itself. There's a room full of bottles of beer that even described each style of beer that's been created and the time frame it came from. If you like beer, or dare I say love it, then this is somewhere you do not want to miss out on. It is an amazing experience, and with the right ticket it includes beer tastings at the end.

It was during these tastings that I met the lovely Jam and Michael. Great people travelling from England, and I'm ever jealous of the fact they are only like a 3 hour train ride from here. But we shot the shit and had such a good time doing it that they kindly offered me to join them later in the evening for dinner and more bevs. So we split ways and I headed off to the diamond museum for a little history lesson about how dimaonds are cut and made. Apparently the art of diamond polishing started here in Bruges, and while I missed the show the diamonds next door looked mighty polished to me.

Dinner with jam and Michael was at a really nice rib place called bones, tasty ribs and a potato in a jacket with the best sauce ive tasted in some time. We kept the evening going with beers at a pub and I once again send my thanks to them both for being nice enough to put up with my shit talking for so long. If you're reading cheers guys, it was a great afternoon and night.

I awoke slightly thick this morning but that hasn't stopped anything. A refreshing shower and it was down to the canals to see the city by boat. It was a nice way of almost recapping all I had seen over the last few days but from a different angle. The little bits of information I got filled in a couple of blanks and we passed under bridges from all ages, including the oldest in the city dating back to the 13th century.

I decided to keep the history flowing and went to historum bruges. It uhh it was not good. Kind of like pissweak world. I mean the intention is there to try and transport you back in time to see the city as it was but I would have rather it just been a big museum, although I probably just went to the wrong place as I later found out. But it was alright, the best part was the building had a great vantage point over the market square so that was nice to see.

Lunch consisted of chips and a 12% beer at the beer wall. Yes the beer wall, the place is wall to wall bottles of beer. And the chaps I was sat next to made me a substitute for their bitchout mate who didn't want his glass of the 12 % so I got one for free 😁

The slightly inebriated Sam then continued on to a medieval walking tour of the city. Angela my guide was phenomenal, her passion for the cities history was excellent and I'm glad to have done the tour. She showed me places I had seen but put context to them, like how the town hall had been partly destroyed by the French when they left and now the statues are replicas but the original chunks lie in the town hall museum. Every guide here, at least the good ones, have so much to pass on about this city. I feel like you could spend decades just going into to the people and the places and events that have shaped the town into what it is now. It's a truly amazing city and so much more than just the film 😂

I rounded out the day with a quick visit to the torture museum. Some great replicas of actual torture methods that have been used. Humans are fucked. We have a penchant for destruction, be it buildings or nature or as this museum showed people. The most interesting was probably the satan cradle, give it a look, or the metal "pears". You don't eat them, but they do expand and do some damage that I would not want to be on the wrong end of.

All in all the last 4 days here in Bruges have been amazing. I've fallen in love with the city and would gladly return If given the chance. I wouldn't change a thing, except maybe the fucking cobblestones, and I really have to agree with the Ralph Fiennes character in the film because it really is like a fucking fairytale. From the bells chiming nearly all day today to how the city lights up at night, to the history and stories that are covered across every street and alleyway. It's a magical city and I highly recommend seeing it if you have the chance, I know I'm going to miss it that's for sure.

So relctantly this is the last Bruges sign off, but I will be back for more beer and history and beer and film nostalgia and beer. It's been wonderful Bruges, please don't ever change.

Bearded donut

[beardedd0nut]

What better way to end the beer museum tour than with a few cheeky tastings #Beer #BeerMuseum #BrugesBeerExperience https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq2DYYdFGaw-2mIHlKph3hI3a7iIC-5fsNHWOY0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cxb9kkw5kjux

[beardedd0nut]

The Ghost of Samuel... Seems accurate https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq1yDkZlwFPivjrKp4Ku-3EyYfc5H7t_2tnA4c0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=jk73be1x7xkf

[beardedd0nut]

On display at the sick as pizza place. I love hipster as fuck pizza places, it's also got great beers ;) I'm in heaven #Puzsa #Beer #CraftBeer #Otomat #Bruges https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq0DOx-FfYcRf0mUh_BDfsIsht9nZvRRYWHmfc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=17sw9lqn46m54

[beardedd0nut]

In Bruges... it's in Belgium

So not much happened between the last post and travelling to bruges, other than forgetting my soap and shampoo at the hostel but let's not talk about that... I got in to Bruges at about midday after a nice train ride out. It seemed to pass through classic countryside with cottages and small fields, but also stopped at a couple small cities/towns along the way. As soon as I got here and started to walk along the (fucking) cobblestones and smell the fireplaces it brought a smile to my face. I've waited so long to come here and now that I have I can hardly believe it.

I had never really known much about the city, other then the film, but after being here for a short time and the walking tour it's easy to see the wealth of history that this place has. It was a port for trade, its held monarchs, it has been an epicentre for a holy relic, the list goes on and there is such a rich history hidden behind every building and comer. The walking tour was an excellent way to begin in this wonderful town and opened my eyes to things beyond what I was expecting from just the film.

Dinner for the first night was spent just down the road at a lovely little restaurant sitting on the canal. A delicious Flemish beef stew and a local Brugge beer were the servings, and I can say that the beer could have flowed all night and I would have had no issues.

This morning I awoke at around 3-4am, thanks jetlag, to find a magical sight... my fucking charger died. This thing has lasted me two trips across the USA but couldn't handle more than 3 days in Europe. Not impressed, but this is why we travel with power banks 😉 and don't worry I found a travel agent who stocked USB chargers for a nominal fee so it's all good in the hood.

Minus the little heart attack I decided fuck it I'm still doing what I had set out to do, and began to follow everything on the In Bruges movie map. Now if you don't already know I'm letting you know that In Bruges is one of my favourite films. If you have yet to witness it's magic then do so, if you have then you'll understand if you don't like it you're an inanimate fucking object.

So anyway the day began with being one of the first people into the belfry, the massive bell tower located in the market square. The tower itself stands beautifully in the centre of the city at 83 meters tall and climbing it is not an easy feat for a man of my size. It is very easy to see where the bunch of elephants scene came from in the film because there have been some elephants waddling around and be fucked if they would even get up the first set of stairs let alone get to the top of the bloody thing.

The tower has a few seperate rooms as you climb the 366 stairs to the top for the panoramic view of the city. One shows how the cities information was held in large chests that needed 8 keys to open, one is the centre of the machine in the Tor that makes the bells toll. The whole tower is like a giant music box with a large wheel in the centre that drives a series of hammers to strike the bells and play a tune, or it can be hooked up to a machine and played by hand like a piano.

The stairs on this tower started off as reasonably wide, enough to fit two people, and made of rocks. After the second stage it got a little tighter, a little more narrow and wooden. After the third stage I I was hoping I didn't bang my head on the stairs and had to suck it in to climb the bastard coz it was tight. However upon arrival at the top the view was totally worth it. The day had just begun and the city was slowly coming alive. The sun, something I have been told is a rarity in Belgium, was shining down on the city and you couldn't wipe the smile off my face if you tried.

Back down on terra firma, coming down was much easier than going up the tower, I set off to hit as many of the other stops as I could. First going to the the Jerusalem chapel, which was where the interior scenes for the basilica of he holy blood were filmed. After that a short walk along one of the canals and up to see the Jan van eyckplein statue, some interior shots were made in a cafe opposite it. Then a hot chocolatier and wander past the fish markets, not a great combination of smell and taste.

Moving my shit from one hotel to the next allowed me to then embark on part two of the map tick off. I saw the lovely minnewater and the channels it helped to flow properly into the city. The knights of the apocalypse followed suit, a sculpture by a local artist. I skipped the groeninge museum as the day was half gone at I figured the morning is the best time to start a museum day, along with the canal ride.

Rounding out the afternoon was a visit to the small botanic garden, but what was more important was the playground adjacent to it where one of the films strangest standoffs occurs, and a visit to the real basilica of the holy blood. The actual basilica is stunning. It is covered from the floor to the ceiling in paintings and has marvellous stained glass windows. The windows are actually replicas from the English who currently house the originals.

I paid my respects to the religion and god I was brought up with but am not sure is any better than the other gods and pondered existence briefly while I saw the relic holding the alleged blood of Christ. I'm not here or there on religion but at least bruges has the blood, England has the grail and for some, reason as the guide told us the fucking Germans have the alleged foreskin of Jesus. Why you'd want it I don't know, but at least it's not with the priests lord only knows what they would be doing with it give the chance.

After that I got a cheeky waffle on a stick (so tasty) and retired to the hotel to assess the day and make plans for the night. Hopefully I'll find another tasty place to eat, and I know I will be stopping in at the bar where the midgets and prostitutes hang out (again watch in bruges, it makes more sense if you do). Till the next post I bid you all adieu and I hope you enjoyed the most recent travel update.

Yours truly,

The bearded donut.

[beardedd0nut]

Hey Ali guess what? Fresh waffle on a stick :D

[beardedd0nut]

A lovely Flemish stew before a cheeky night stroll to see the City at night https://www.instagram.com/p/BqxgLDhFC_wNjy3IkF-pd6e-mziaE6hGL4eHkk0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cb9a70tiihj2

[beardedd0nut]

Upon arrival Bruges is most certainly not a shithole #Bruges #InBruges #Belgium https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqw37m4lAMV4sHeJLuowNMxfgDUMkwOLc9HmkA0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ljj3ilp6ctou