bbiwon

[bbiwon]

jaewon's leaned casually against danyi's little table, hand slicking the dark locks of his hair back, and thus a smile reveals itself across his face. he strikes a face, with a sense of self-assurance to it, lips all but pursed together, giving his best attempt at allure with a sparkle to his eye: "oh, wow, danyi — you think i'm cute?" he tries his best at containing the laughter from bursting out of him, though he wink he gives her doesn't really help. "you can admit your crush whenever."  

it's short lived, however, as it does come, an explosion of unseriousness and him covering his face in embarrassment. "okay, sorry, that was awful of me. never again. pinky promise." 

he follows her guidance then, following it almost blindly — he doesn't deal with this type of things, doesn't understand it, doesn't want any of the negativity that she tells him is sourced in this tiny green stone. call it superstition, foolishness or a want for bright future; he doesn't want to risk it & he doesn't have a reason not to trust her. the stone fits with the rest of them with a clack.

"yeah, that shit kinda scared me. is it good or bad?" he inquires, a genuine innocence woven into his question. he picks the quartz up, lifts it to the air, light of the fluorescent lamp on the ceiling making it shine. she brings up the subject of karma and his eyes narrow, followed by a frown. "do i get a, uh, discount?"

"it... could be cute," danyi agrees, though her expression says anything but. "maybe that grandma had like, cataracts." she may be a liar, but she's got eyes, okay? no one's skin is gonna look good next to the colour of shrek .but she's gotta respect grandma's grift, because danyi's planning on building on her little lie to convince jaewon to cough up another stack of bills.

"it's just like, not meant for you, man. i bet it's been around you when some really bad things happened, right? it's the aura, i can feel it..." she nods convincingly, as if jaewon hadn't just told her himself that he thinks it's bringing him into near-death situations. totally a psychic intuition, right. "you don't need to cleanse it, it just needs to meet the right person. not you. here, drop it in the box, i'll take it off your hands," an oh so generous offer that's really just meant to snatch a free ( albeit ugly) stone into her mystic rock collection for suckers.

and besides, jaewon'll be getting a new, superstition guaranteed crystal out of this. plus, bonus static! "wait, you felt something!" the pseudo psychic snatches the offending piece of—what is that? it might actually be a piece of shiny plastic, but it's just translucent enough to reflect light in a way that she could definitely sell as good luck. "this is a piece of quartz, man, it's telling you something! clear quartz clears your mind, channels your karma... all good things. trust me. you felt it, right?"

[bbiwon]

a burning sensation sneaks up on jaewon, tingles of the sand pushing into bare skin underneath his own weight, culmination of it added onto everything that's already ticking off his annoyance box making him almost whine; an unruly sight, really, for anyone above the age of… ten. but he's there, doing it, shrouded in a mist of ignorance and belief that he's alone whilst everyone else raids the bar, or does… whatever ones does behind closed doors of yurts in groups of two. it's only natural course of events that a raise of voice completely startles him, and he's shot up in a sitting position, looking around himself frantically; the heartbeat within his chest threatening to burst beyond his ribcage.

"what —" out of breath, if only for a moment. though when he sees minjae, all colour returns to his face, as if he's seen an angel descending from heavens just to aid him with what he says. however, there is a layer of hurt, and he narrows his eyes, giving the best impression of suspicion: "have you been watching me this whole time?" 

minjae has never been a fan of bursting someone's bubble. even if the process of doing so would actually help them solve their current problem much faster. sitting on a log that his long limbs had awkwardly pulled at, he did nothing but watched. it had taken much convincing to even get him to come to this whole beach weekend. it felt strange not working during the weekend especially so when the hotel was at its often busiest. instead told to go out and have fun and take sometime off, but what if the beach wasn't his type of fun in the first place ? it wasn't feeling any better than the airconditioned insides of xpixel.

and so that's how minjae finds himself randomly sitting behind the other. his attention grabbed by the huffing and puffing sounds that leave the other's lips trying to blow up a floatie. when he's been going at it for far too long is when he notices a pump sitting not far from his person but out of jaewon's view. he knew he should speak up but he waits till the other chucks the floatie away.

" i don't want to make it worse. but... there's an easier way to do that. " the words awkwardly leaving his mouth.

[bbiwon]

his gaze is changed, then, aimed towards direction of the beach and the faint trace of blackened smoke that raises from the ground. squinting, as if it would aid him in seeing better; as if it isn't glaringly obvious, even in the hours of night coming forth and knocking upon the doors of time-pass, pulling a curtain over the world. "oh,"  he sighs, voice a mixture of both surprise and confusion. "i honestly thought that was just, like, decór for the beach. saving the environment, footprint and all of that." a shrug. "but if it's just for us, i assume it's okay? i've never really done… camping? beach camping?" 

he smiles then, head turning to jinam. almost apologetic, realizing the secrecy he's displayed and the implications of distrust it brings forth. "oh, no, god — it's a force of habit. you're not bothering me at all." he moves his hands, putting the pen next to him (and putting an awful lot of faith that it won't simply roll off and away from them), eyes glued to the paper. "my phone's charging and i wanted to capture the sunset. in hindsight, it's kinda bad. i mean, i never was good with landscapes. objects and people is fine, but give me a field and i'll draw like a kid." jaewon laughs. "a breather? how about i draw you instead? it'll be, like, fifteen minutes max." 

considering the waning day, jinam figured everyone would be back at the beach around the bonfire he'd lit a few minutes beforehand, so seeing jaewon seated on the pier was somewhat unexpected. still, he marched onward to the very edge, coming to stand about a meter away. noticing that the other had placed a protective hand over the sketchbook he was holding made jinam instantly avert his eyes entirely, not wanting to pry into jaewon's privacy. he instead fixes his eyes on the hues gathering across the water from the dropping sun, watching as each little crest adds a splash of white to the image.

when jaewon broke the silence, jinam involuntarily let his gaze fall back on the artist. "huh ? oh, uh ... no, not really. i just lit the bonfire, so the alcohol's really flowing now. it's getting a bit rowdy back there for me, so i thought i'd come out here for a few minutes to take a breather."

he sits down on the pier just as jaewon has, letting his legs hang over the edge of the wood planks. "if i'm bothering you at all, just let me know. trust me, i understand," he communicates to the other, the kindred eyes of a fellow introvert full of empathy.

[bbiwon]

the scorching summer rays cast their not-so-gentle touch upon the beach sand, painting the image of a shimmering gold. amidst it, jaewon has sought a solace below a hay parasol, trying to enjoy its shaded shelter, listening to the sound of waves crashing in the distance. beads of sweat form on his forehead, dripping down, and the little breeze that appears every so often offers miniscule aid. jaewon decides it's time to bite the bullet, springing up to his feet.

which is one mistake: the sand underneath his steps makes him practically jump over to the water, each step taken as a little hop, each step followed by a mouthing of various curses underneath his breath.

he's in by his knees by the time he realizes that the water is too cold, and that its clear beauty is something he appreciates far more when he's looking at it from afar. maybe it's influenced by him not really knowing how to swim ( — whose parents have the money anyway?), though it's not something he would admit; not in front of, well, any sunset employee. keeping image and all — how can someone not afraid of needles be mortified by open water? a second or two pass, waves against his thighs, and he turns his head to side. 

"hey," he calls out to minyoung, a smirk forming on his lips. "the water can't possibly be that cold to have you frozen in spot?"

talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

@starlightfades

[bbiwon]

at the risk of losing this blog too, i wanted to announce to everyone that tumblr has unfortunately deleted my blog for zurie, my blog for jinam and the main so i'm kind of at my wit's end right now. i've contacted tumblr, but that can take literal weeks to resolve, so i'm thinking of trying to remake the main and hope for the best. just wanted to reiterate to everyone that sunsetkrp is NOT closed despite the termination of the main !!

[bbiwon]

the sunset draws its curtain over the horizon, overlapping values of colour reflected upon the surface of the ocean before him. somewhere in the distance, gulls lead a conversation amongst themselves, to which he pries into, even if he understands nothing; otherwise surrounded by silence and a sense of gentle peace. lone and away from the sunset employees — the crowd has made him feel as if he were suffocating among them, combination of the chatter, of the hea and crowding making him feel as if he were suffocating. so away he has found himself, sitting on the wooden edge of the pier, a smile pulled for himself, and his sketchbook in his lap.

it's just graphite that he holds within his hand, but that same graphite has made itself quite triumphant; across the paper are the shades of red and yellow transferred to, this time in shade of grey, & the coastal line.

a shadow falls above him and his canvas and jaewon covers it with his hand quickly, with the innocent notion of a shy artist, looking up thereafter. "oh hey — ah… did something happen back at the yurts?" 

@greenfated

[bbiwon]

here's the thing: when you're an avid enjoyer of flavored air, for the better & kinder choice of words to describe it, the capacity of your lungs gets appropriately halved, flag at half mass for the beauty of a breath that once was. it is task of sisyphus, what jaewon does; the inhale and subsequent exhale into plastic, his lack of general knowledge how to do it, images of his father doing it for him and his sister like a slideshow playing out at the back of his mind. a memory and nothing more, leaving him shrouded in frustration.

seconds seep through, and the feeling that's gathered inside him comes to its culminative point. jaewon takes the half-empty floatie and hurls it away to side, without looking twice if it's hitting the ground, or an unassuming innocent. following that, he lays down, bare skin meeting the hot sand underneath him with a thud!; covering his eyes from the sunlight with the palms of his hands.

"fuck this, man." 

@disappcints

[bbiwon]

as i continue with fighting with my internet connection, i'm gonna borrow a brilliant idea from a fellow member i've seen on the dash. under the cut i've put out some ideas for threads so reply with the appropriate emoji if you'd like something from that, or just like this post and i'll come up with something on the spot!

🍉jaewon is alone and away from everyone, sitting at the wooden edge of the pier and sketching the sights in his small notebook, and your chara is not a fan of the crowds either, so they decide to spend time with him instead.

⛺ sharing the same yurt together! spooky stories with a candlelight? snoring troubles??

🧉raiding the bandisbul beach bar in 30C+. what could go wrong with day drinking under sunlight?

🏖️ jaewon has been attempting to inflate a floatie for the past fifteen minutes, through the usage of good old fashioned lung power. except the floaties are not inflated, and he seems to be blue in his face... and completely unaware of the air pump that's a couple of meters behind him.

🌊 neither of you are the best of swimmers, so you're waddling along the shallow waters of the sea. neither of you want to admit it though, so when the waves start ramping up, and balance threatens to be lost, all you do is stare at each other.

🐚 shell hunting collecting along the beach... except now they're so far away from their yurts and the familiar surrounding and what was the path back again?

do note that all of starters will be on the shorter side, so that we can do more during the timeperiod of the event !

[bbiwon]

"of course i know the owner. i'm jaewon, i know everyone. y'know, even back in seoul —- i was a fan favorite. fans obviously being bartenders and waitresses. managers and owners liked me, too. but i guess that comes with, well, frequency of visits," he comments, lilt of his voice fading away as words continue pooling outside of his mouth. there's sorrow in it, on surface missing the days of youth spent carelessly inside hongdae's clubs with complete strangers, dizziness and palette of neon colors illuminating hazy faces; though if one's fingers dug deeper inside the hurting flesh, they'd find regret, curled in a ball and protecting itself from the prying eyes, so small and alone.

he realizes his tone quick, however. and in the natural sense of moon jaewon, he laughs the gloom away and off with the same old nonchalance that he is known for. hands raise to feel what damage has been done to the back of his head — already imagining a bruise, though it's an overreaction — and that, too, he shakes off. everything passes, in the end; what matters is the here & the now.

"you're such a good boy, haru. you're twenty-six, not sixty-six and two steps away from entering your eternal bed. live a little." then, a pause. he swallows. "i was joking, by the way. sorry. it was harsh. you're not boring. and you're not holding me hostage." jaewon takes out a glass (one most certainly not appropriate for the type of drink he's pouring into it: a club goer, though he's not getting paid for this), pours himself the liquor — for him, the straight he's offered the older prior, turns his head away from haru, downs it with an ugh. "we can pretend, though. how good of an actor are you?" 

it's a question of an innocuous nature, foolish and without a depth to it. ignorance is a bliss —- or a curse.

"do you want to stay here or go up? you can even say you're threatening me. like the glory scene but like, less brutal and not real, obviously."

he returns jaewon's smile because that seems like the only proper thing to do in this situation, however precarious the upturn of his own mouth is in comparison to the other's easy-going one. like a mime, a puppet and a puppeteer, like if he imitates the way jaewon disappears beneath the steady surface of the lounge's bar counter, fingers already trailing over the choice of bottles, he'll be able to bite the bullet and let loose just like he does. like it's that easy, really, to abandon twenty six years of protocol and etiquette built into your body.

the reality is that he hovers near the tattoo artist's crouched figure, barely able to stifle the bark of his laughter when he hears the thud of his head against the cabinet. he's too slow to offer his hand as a protective barrier from the quartz, but he's quick enough to slide a few 50,000 won notes across the top, using a whisky glass as a makeshift paperweight. it's a somewhat precursory apology to bottle tops' staff. contingent on whatever they're going to end up swiping from the inventory.

"you know the owner." he repeats verbatim, putting no effort into sounding even vaguely like he believes him. he already knows that if he asks too many questions, he's going to chicken out, so his footsteps are loud against the floor when he's retreating towards the fridge because even this isn't enough to convince haru that liquid courage is a necessity.

that, and the persistent feeling that at least one of them's going to have to be sober for the end of the night.

he hums under his breath almost absentmindedly, musing out loud as he's rustling through the fridge. "i think i'll play good for the night, since you made it sound so appealing." he takes two out even if jaewon doesn't ask for one -- because jaewon doesn't ask for one now, more like, which means he'll inevitably ask for one later. the smile's audible in his voice when he sets the two cans down. "you know they're more likely to believe that you're the hostage, right? you look like you're trying to drown your sorrows with all of that liquor."

[bbiwon]

"danyi? yeah, i know her —- she saved me, the other day. i was followed by such nasty misfortune, like, my machine broke the second i picked it up. thankfully it was just practice on fake skin and color, but still. that was nasty. and then i ran to her, and she read something – i've no idea if that was even a humanly language, but it's like a dark cloud has been lifted off and away from me. nothing bad has happened since," he's explained, wide eyed and almost flailing his arms around, just to add onto the presentation of what she's done when he approached her in desperation. like some magic trick, or a spell. either way, he understood little except the last part: luck has followed him since, and now, he was convinced it were to continue, it were to leak into other aspects of life, aid him with this conquest for a title.

it's something he won't admit, though: his little belief in the meddling of supernatural, by mere chance, on his side alone. it's what he told himself, anyway: at the end of the day, ghosts are nothing more than a story, for the superstitious and wild imaginations. thus, he laughs it off, rather revelling in the onslaught of her compliments, a slightest tinge of ego manifesting itself underneath the influence of zurie's words, and the obliviousness of it becomes so blatant across his face. 

with his hands now back inside his pockets, jaewon hums to himself, giving a notion of a deep though, though reality has him thinking little. that, however, zurie doesn't have to know. 

"if i told you my counter strike then it wouldn't be fun, would it? element of surprise and all that comes with that," he teases, watching her eat: in another lifetime, or at least a few years in the past, moon jaewon would have his tongue stuck outside, as a light tease. now, he's more serious — for better, or worse. "don't even think of looking at me like that, i'm telling, i'm telling. i think you misjudged the gun. maybe they want you to think it's moved to side, sooo. i'm gonna shoot my shot from where they return it. wanna test it out right now?''

zurie could spin half joking conspiracy theories about the mall until she was blue in the face, and the risible gleam in jaewon's eyes felt like something of an invitation to do so. "you could be right, you know !! all kinds of weird things go on here sometimes. besides, you know that danyi girl ?? she literally talks to spirits !! i'll bet she let something through the portal and now there's ghosts haunting us all," lighthearted laughter a postscript to her statement. she didn't want to seem too serious about it, even though part of her did worry about silly things like that. she decided against bothering him further with her ironclad theory about the mall having definitely been visited by aliens. there'd be more carnivals, right ?

"oh reaaaally ?" she asks him, voice elevated in playful surprise as her corndog inched closer to his mouth. "hey, who said i wasn't charmed, hmm ?? i may not have witnessed it in person, but the fact that you did it at all was very charming, i think," she admits, lids crossing over genuine eyes a few times before she commits to the idea of losing her corndog forever. instead, jaewon leans against her and hands it back still completely intact, and she offers him a grateful grin in return. "hey, i would have shared ! you did do most of the work, after all," she says, dipping the corndog in sauce and taking a bite.

her eyes find his as he makes an offer that visibly piques her curiosity. zurie's eyebrows tilt further upward, and she nods in succession with his words. "okay, i like this ... yes, you have a deal," she acquiesces, linking her pinky with his and shaking it gently. as their fingers release one another, she taps a pointer to her chin. "let's see ... oh !! i know another one. you know the water gun race ?? well, in my experience, the guns at these carnivals all reset to the same position after each race. it's always exactly two inches to the left of the target. if you're good with spotting tiny distances, it's all you need to score the biggest prize they have. if i'm right, of course. what's your strategy going to be ?" she inquires cheekily, curtain bangs opening wider as her head tilts to the side.

[bbiwon]

"you really need to stop looking at me with those eyes." 

by those, he means: suspicious gaze focused on him, lingering in the air inside isanghan thrift every time he walks past its glass gates (10% sale! no longer words of comfort like they once were, rather a tease that tantalizes with its allure), the scrutiny which had him behind makeshift bars just a week ago still finding a way to raise the hairs at the nape of his neck, eyes inked on the skin open wide and looking over his shoulder twice. it's what he instilled into his brain, anyway; a delusion that haunts him, pulls down at him, leaves him feeling as if he were bare before kang jinah's gaze, all of his secrets pooling outside and he's utterly helpless at attempts to bring it back inside.

still, jaewon smiles — a smile that shows its awkwardness in the way corners of his mouth don't reach high up into the sky, a smile that is more a grimace than a show of exuberance. his hand rubs at the back of that same neck, partially to warm away the chills which ride through him, partially because he doesn't know what else to do. 

"that was the first time i crossed paths with the law," he says, then laughs. "even if jinsik is just a security guard, it was scary. i thought he was going to go all bad cop on me, wouldn't your tongue get twisted too? fuck, i even have nightmares about it. you, like, owe me an apology. totally."

@sweetreunions

[bbiwon]

the last thirty minutes prior to the moment of clocking out tick away in a way that they make themselves painfully noticeable; ticking against jaewon's ears in a rhythm that is, to a point, infuriating. he counts it away, too, every second closer to the moment of closing and walking outside of barracuda's doors, fiberglass helmet held tightly in one hand, other waving away 'hellos' and 'see you tomorrows'. he thinks of the leftover bulgogi awaiting him inside his fridge, of the fan that will blow away at uncomfortable heat stinging his body. it has him nearly giggling —- jovial at the idea of what is to come after a twenty minute drive.

life wouldn't be life it wasn't throwing bricks at your every ste, aiming them with the strength of goliath.

he enters the garage & the light flickers, as if it were awaiting just on him to arrive. a curse escapes past his mouth, but he threads on, passing through the slate grey pathways, until his attention is caught by a shadow in the corner of his mouth. subsequently, a wave of fears traverses down his spine; but jaewon, for the better or worse, changes his course in … its direction. slow, at first, tentative and with a skein of fear to his step, only to fasten his pace, only to —

"hello?" an echo of his own voice greets him back. "is anyone there —"

@wiildgeese

[bbiwon]

"so even the apparition that's being talked about 'round sunset isn't you either and might actually be that: a ghost. i wonder who it could be… the first owner of the mall? someone scorned, who didn't get their item on sale like, years ago so now they're haunting the hallways? what if the mall is… cursed?" it's all light teasing, woven with intent of keeping the laughter going; the ridiculousness of it was more than obvious, even without the grimace of fear jaewon has pulled across his face, at an attempt of pure shock. if only he wasn't grinning wide, ear to ear insofar his cheeks hurt, shimmer in his eyes being the betrayers to the story he's built. but it's a byproduct of being around zurie, the desire to laugh, allowed further by her presence alone. it's simple as — laugh is the best medicine for every worry of mind, large as a mountain and so hard to overcome, or minuscule.

jaewon's eyes narrowed with her explanation, listening in silence and nodding his head alongside her words, as if it was a gospel that she spoke of, and not a strategy for defeating a simple festival. "i think i deserve this one, actually. for the trauma i've gone through," he teased, raising his hand in the air and along it, the corn-dog he held tightly. "i mean, using my looks… if it were to charm you i wouldn't mind. but grandmas… yeah, this one's mine."

he brought it to his mouth ,then; or at least the proximity of it, faking a bite, though before he committed to it fully, he pushed shoulder against shoulder, leaning into her. "i'm joking, obviously. don't look so terrified. i'm not going to have you starving here." he sighs then, bites the inside of his cheek. "are you implying i've got noodle arms, zurie? wow. how about this… you do that, and i'll do the opposite strategy. whoever wins more… well. the winner gets the title of sunset's king — err, queen — and the loser has to buy the winner some icecream at icehaus." an offering was made then, in form of his pinky finger outstretching towards her. "but you have to tell me more of your strategy now. so i can make a counter-strategy, of course."

there was something in jaewon's smile that indicated a level of understanding for zurie most people simply didn't possess, be it out of lack of caring or fear of falling down the rabbit hole that was thanvalai ouypron. she appreciated it in ways she couldn't voice, for fear of getting within a dangerous proximity to the more uncomfortable parts of her past. she knew she didn't really need to go there which made her feel far more comfortable in the space. "thank you, jaewon," she beams at him in response to his compliment, unable to keep from bowing deeply in his direction. she was far from an angel, but it was still nice to hear things like that sometimes. "no, i think you're right. it seems a little silly to get worked up over a school dance," she voiced, though inwardly, there's a touch of innocent envy over things she's never experienced.

her grin never faltered as jaewon teased her about her past proclivities, her expression one of confidence rather than shame. "maybe it's me, maybe it isn't," she plays along momentarily, flicking her hands upward in an animated shrug and returning his playful wink. "but seriously, i wish i were that cool. vigilante of the mall ?? that sounds awesome. the most mysterious thing i do these days is disappear into a cloud of smoke in the maintenance stairwell." she chuckles in a self-effacing way, never able to maintain confidence for more than a punchline or a well dressed lie.

as she watched him head towards the frontlines of fried carnival snacks, her hands clasped together in absentminded hopefulness. she observed him conversing happily with a senior woman, obviously serving her up an excuse she was loving. zurie was shocked at how quickly he returned from the food cart, totally oblivious to the fib he'd had to tell to achieve such a thing. she was certainly going to eat like she was expecting. as only one corndog was extended towards her, her mouth twitched downward before learning of his arrangement. she smiled and gleefully took the sole corndog he'd offered, taking a bite before responding. "okay, okay my liege !! first thing's first, you'll definitely wanna conquer either the pachinko or the water blast race before the others. anything that requires arm strength or throwing ?? never do those first, you've gotta conserve that energy ! " she explains, her tone indicating this was only the beginning of his lesson.

[bbiwon]

the temptation of a free drink is something jaewon believes no man could turn their blind eye to, no matter how righteous they were in their attitude and beliefs. how lucky for him, then, tha he's never really counted himself for much of a saint. "did i say i'm not an expert? i must have hit my head this morning. i mean, have you seen my business 'gram? of course i know what i'm doing, duh." confidence threaded trough syllables, he offers sunjae a valiant smile.

and then, a nod. "i don't think i even ever walked into that place. feels like i could only go during winter, when i'm all covered up. it's so fancy. suits you, though. a business suit, some glasses, a serious face… like you walked out of a drama. the only thing you're lacking is… well. i am the cute assistant, right?" it's a joke, of course; teasing sunjae simply because he can.

a few minutes of walking pass and then — "uh, sunjae. do i wait for you to go in and see if this can happen, do i follow behind you and keep quiet?" 

sunjae takes an inhale as if he's about to say something in defence but lets it deflate. of course he feels guilty at the desperate tone. how could he not? instead he offers a bribe: "how about if your next five orders at lapis are on the house? could you pretend to be the expert then?" he gives a somewhat amused but apologetic smile.

"i think something minimalistic is good. just so that the drinks are the main focus." clearly he operates on the most basic level of marketing strategies. he shakes his head at the mention of barracuda — he's lost sodam to the establishment way too often during her shifts. "lunar flare..." he hums, "i've actually been trying to work out a collaboration with them for some time. maybe now's a good time." sunjae puts a hand on jaewon's shoulder for sincerity, "see? you do have good ideas."

[bbiwon]

his gaze remains on the little reptiles, mingling underneath the heating lamp, their scales glistening underneath the water previously sprayed onto them with nabi's tender care. he's wide eyed, focused with awe, trying to catch every single movement they make in front of him; he feels so enormous before them, though also so infinitesimal. if he exists — he breathes, dreams, thinks, just as these little creatures do, then what is life if not joyous experience, worth living in its every seconds? what are hardships —- lost in thought, jaewon coughs clearing his throat. "they're so fucking cute, though. and they stay small like that? shit, what if it escapes, you just lose it?"

reluctantly, jaewon reaches into the tank with a hand of his own, pointer finger outstretched: he drops it slowly and, if nabi looked close enough, with a slight shake evident to his movement. this is no kitten, or a dog; and his fear (both due to their size and the general lack of knowledge) makes its appearance with a glare to it. "it's scared," he says, stating the more than obvious. "i mean, shit, if a giant dropped his hand into my home i'd be scared as fuck, too. hah." unlike with her, the animals do not seem to find a liking to jaewon; they remains at their rock, and he can only assume they stare right back at him. "how long does it take them to become adults, or whatever? they're not expensive, are they?" he moves his hand, then, towards nabi's and the little creature that's nested itself on her own hand. "i'm tempted."

the donation drives at johwa's pet supplies usually do well, but those are the ones with furry, fluffy friends, not the adorable scalies that nabi loves to look after. but that doesn't mean her babies aren't wonderful, lovely pets—and of course, a great fit for someone looking for a fuss free little guy! the younger girl grins at her friend and his focused gaze, always the first to come running whenever the store's got a few animal friends around. "well... yeah, they're not gonna grow up super big either!" nabi shrugs and tilts her head over, eyes turning to crescents when she finds one of the hatchlings with its head raised as if listening in. "but they're sturdy!"

"so you're not gonna hurt them, don't worry," she assures him, smiling. "gotta just give 'em a lil' time! here, put a finger out into this cage." nabi demonstrates for the other, the barest, gentle nudge to one of the baby geckos nosing along the side of the glass tank. it perks up, head swiveling to bump against her finger before finding its way over to cling on the first joint of her index. she coos at it with a small hum, careful not to shake the little guy. "you can pet them like this! they're just hatched and extra tiny, so," she gives the softest air kiss to the small gecko chilling out on her finger. "we're letting them get used to us, y'know?"

[bbiwon]

it's funny how life plays games on you in the ways that always has you grasping at the short end of the stick.

an one time lover turns into a stranger turns into someone he wishes to never see, turns into someone he has to see; her sitting in front of him, with that smile of hers that aims straight towards his heart with no intent of slowing down on this path it takes, cartridge that is kwon sodam proving itself far more than deadly. the rose tink ot her cheeks reminds him of the strawberries he loves, and he curses himself underneath his breath for the connection he places between the two. but the sweetness is there, even if it's caustic in its nature, and jaewon just might allow himself to grasp it with his open palms, staring down at the open wound left upon his palms and awaiting for the moment it cicatrizes, only left as a reminder of the past which haunts him.

except the wound never closes, and it's a sizzling pain that burns.

"friend and family. you and subin," he repeats her words, and then he brings his hand up, and while he cannot battle it, he can at least attempt to — cover the laughter which escapes his throat. it's sincere, the way it always is with moon jaewon: heart on his sleeve, intent written directly across his forehead, open for anyone to see and read, if they only choose so. "don't think anyone's going to buy that —- you're, like, a lot prettier." 

he swallows, then; as if the act would make him swallow back on the words already spoken between them.

instead, he clears his throat.

"we have student discounts 'round the end of the month. just bring your student id. nobody's going to check if it's valid anyway."

except that in spite of his best efforts, the words come crashing back into him like a truck with its brakes long gone and lost, and it's just another downpour of salt. except he no longer has a voice to scream; his shoulders relax… no, slouch in defeat & there is a deep exhale that passes between his lips.

in any other life, he would be running away. it could be so easy.

"you're fine," jaewon says, his voice barely audible compared to the sound of music that surrounds him. every creak, too, now sounds like an avalanche. "you're fine. i was — i was pushy. overstepped boundaries. not really cool of me." 

his ears buzz. 

"i'm sorry, too. and i'm — i'm sorry, but i don't want us to… avoid each other like that." a wave of nausea. "let's say it… meant nothing, and greet each other as friends?"

"two hours? that's crazy! i'm sure it was worth the trip," sodam chirps, voice filled with a newfound lightness around his presence. purses her lips, ponders briefly. maybe he's not making excuses like she has been. "must be why you've been so busy, then. lots of clients coming your way."

he smiles, and a gentle wave of warmth spreads past her skin, casting a rosy hue upon her cheeks. sodam nods, laughs, listens. as though she's guided by some familiar force, intricate wires delicately weaving their way through her being. almost instinctively, she finds herself slipping back into a comfortable rhythm with him, and the pretence they once held so tightly onto starts to fade away.

"hm, i'll think about it. barracuda's quite out of the way, you know..." she says in jest, head tilting slightly. "i've been thinking of getting another one, actually. do you have any staff discounts? friends and family privileges?" sodam pauses, blinking for a moment. perhaps a little too soon to ask. quickly saving herself with a grin, makes herself add, "subin's gonna get that end of the stick, by the way. we're like, distant cousins if you squint enough." with that logic, so are the rest of daegu.

pretending comes easy to her, always has been. but now, at every turn of the ferris wheel, every shift of its gears, it's feeling less like a facade she's forcing herself to uphold. lines blurring between feigned niceties and a raw vulnerability, bringing her back to a bittersweet comfort that both soothes and unsettles. the foundation is fragile, however — built upon untold truths and feelings left unspoken. like chapters in a fairytale that's scampered through, bypassing the trials and tribulations that come between, tunnel vision on reaching that coveted happy ending.

it shouldn't be this easy.

two weeks ago, she sits inside a quaint chapel for the first time in many months. barred between her sisters, manicured fingers fiddling with one another during her grandfather's homily. the all too familiar scripture echoing in the background: if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other also. (sodam stifles a laugh, appalled by its absurdity. when the preacher on stage fights fire with fire himself in reality, she's left unconvinced. all talk and no action, empty words that only feel holier than thou.)

when she looks at jaewon again, sitting quietly in front of her, sodam sees how that very same verse could hold true. he's no longer a reflection of herself, no longer two people playing the same game of pretend — instead, he's a mirror of her own faults and what it has cost. the bandaid she's placed recklessly on the bullet wound begins to peel off, revealing fractures that deepen with each passing moment it's left untouched, bleeds raw and unrestrained. once more, the guilt gnaws at her relentlessly, tugs at her conscience. her chest feels tight. it's no longer something she can ignore.

sodam takes a deep breath, hand hovering in the air for a moment as if it's reaching out for something, someone — before finding its place on the edge of the railing. "hey, about last time," her hesitation evident in the way she bites her lip. "that wasn't kind of me to leave you hanging. you don't deserve it," she admits, eyes meeting his as she musters the strength to hold jaewon's gaze.

"i'm sorry."

[bbiwon]

knuckle tats that say ‘MEOW MEOW’