barnesandbarton

[barnesandbarton]

He laughed and leaned down and kissed her.  When he pulled back he scrunched his nose at her. “You love it.”

“You’re both so helpful,” she grinned back.

[barnesandbarton]

Bucky nodded gently. “Yeah.  Thank you.  Thank you for listening and trying to reassure me,” he whispered.  “I do want to be open with you.  I like when you let me in.  It’s hard though, right?  Being vulnerable.  Clint does it so easily and I don’t know how he can.  Well - most of the time either.”  When Clint was having a bad depressive episode his communication could get so bad that he’d turn off his hearing aids and then intentionally not face people so he didn’t have to talk to them.  But most of the time he let people know how he was feeling.

“We should get some sleep,” Bucky said.  He leaned in, kissing her forehead and then her lips. “I love you, Ava.”

Ava nodded in understanding. “You’re worried it’s going to be HYDRA,” she confirmed and sighs a little bit. “I know you won’t,” she spoke gently deciding to leave it at that. “I know we’re safe when we’re with you,” she spoke and nodded gently and kissed his cheek gently smiling a bit.

“You feeling a bit better?” She asks gently and stroked his chest gently. “I’m glad you told me this..” she whispers and nodded. “Thank you.”

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Bucky laughed too. “Hey.  Just thought I’d help out too,” he teased, grinning at her.

She’d heard him moving around but hadn’t paid attention until he touched her. “Well hello there,” she laughed.

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Clint smirked and nodded. “Oh hell yeah.  You can both do whatever you want to me whenever you want.  I’m down,” Clint said. 

Bucky smiled at them both. “Thank you,” he said. “I guess I’ll relax eventually.  This is all so new.  But I guess it is for both of you too.”

“Yeah, well, I mean I date, but I’ve never tried the polyamory thing before,” Clint said.  “I’m really excited about it though.  I don’t know if you both can tell, but I’m super into you both.”

The waiter brought on the next dish of lobster tortellini.  “I’m also super into this pasta,” he said, picking up his fork.

Natasha watched him with a gentle smile, letting out a soft laugh when Bucky started to laugh because of Clint. She knew exactly what he was going to say and that had her falling even more for both of them.

“Well as Clint said, you can do us whenever you like. I’d say that Clint and I are pretty open to anything anytime.” She looked to Clint for approval, a smirk pulling at her lipstick stained lips.

“Please don’t apologise though. You’re allowed to feel nervous, but we’re never going to judge you for whatever you say.”

[barnesandbarton]

Third I’m my series Bucky Barnes meets a cat, two years later

Fast friends 🖤

[barnesandbarton]

ARMED AND DANGEROUS 💥

…….gang i don’t know how many swags i got left in me but THIS DESIGN.. 😩

тгк: kameyasart

Insta/Twt: kameyasart

Available on Inprnt (link in bio!)

[barnesandbarton]

Armed and dangerous guy

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Bucky nodded. “Yeah.  I notice everything.  I’m always on alert because I don’t want someone to sneak up on me again.  I don’t want to be ambushed.  I don’t give a shit about people taking our photo or publishing it or saying horrible stuff about me.  I just don’t like when I don’t notice it happening.  Because Paps aren’t HYDRA.  They haven’t been trained to stay out of sight or sneak up on people.  But HYDRA has.  And what if next time it’s them and I don’t notice?”

He scowled and shook his head.  “I’m even more annoyed because we’d already been blindsided by someone today.  It’s okay.  I won’t let it happen again.”  

Ava didn’t agree for a second it was him, but she also understood where he was coming from. She kept stroking his hair gently smiling a little before nodding. “I’m grateful that you’re finally letting me in,” she whispers softly and nodded gently.

“It’s allowed to have set backs. In PTSD it’s normal,” she spoke and thought for a bit before wrinkling her eyebrows a bit. “Is that why you got a little cold and worried when you didn’t notice those people or whoever it was take photos of us?” She spoke gently.

It made sense. She would never understand the big picture, she would never understand how bad it was, but she could certainly try.

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“I can think…” Bucky started, planning on making a dirty joke.  It had been a long time since he’d just felt comfortable enough to do that though and just before he could finish it, he chickened out and picked up his class, taking a big drink of his wine.

Clint laughed.  “Think he was gong to say he wanted to do us,” he said to Nat.  He looked over at Bucky.  “You can do us any time you like, Buck.”

Bucky laughed and covered his face.  “I’m sorry.  I guess I’m still not used to being able to say whatever the hell I want.” 

“Yeah I agree with you on that, though. What HYDRA did to you was unforgivable but I’m thankful that you broke free and now get to have the chance to live your life now. You can do whatever the hell you want.” She pointed out with a soft smile, giving Bucky’s knee a gentle squeeze before she was turning to look at Clint.

She couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped her, shaking her head at them both. “Aren’t I lucky?” She teased gently, watching as the waiter came to take their plates away so they could have the next round of pasta.

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Bucky swallowed and nodded.  “Thank you,” he whispered.  “I feel like -”  He paused and let out a breath.  “I can go a lot of days and feel fine.  There are things that annoy me.  I don’t like when people tell me it wasn’t me.  It was me.  You can say I didn’t have a choice.  That’s true.  But I’m not remembering someone else’s memories.  Your body is part of you.  I can remember it happening.  It was me.  But even still, most days I know Clint loves me.  I know you love me.  I know I love you both.  I know I’m safe.  But then shit happens.  I have a bad mission, or a lot of stress and I just - I break again.  It brings it all back up and I feel helpless and not worthy of it.”

He pressed his forehead into her collarbone.  “I do love you,” he whispered.  “I don’t want to shut you out.”

“I know you aren’t trying to argue,” she reassured gently and smiled a little bit. She watched him for a minute. Once he finished talking she spoke once more. “You can help stop those things because you have been through it,” she spoke finally. “Look, nothing me or Clint says is gonna change the way you feel, and understandably so,” she spoke gently.

“But we love you. No matter what you did. Or would do if it happened again, which I really hope dosent happen,” she spoke weakly and teared up. “I’m sorry I can’t be more useful,” she spoke with a small chuckle and sighs a bit. “And I’m sorry you feel this way.. and I hope that someday you can heal somewhat from it. And we will be here to help you and support you whenever you need it.”

[barnesandbarton]

Bucky laughed.  “Fine,” he said, grabbing the washcloth.  He put shower gel on it and came over and started to wash Natasha, spending a lot of time soaping up her tits.

“Mmm…wait your turn, Barnes,” she replied, “Clint’s busy.”

[barnesandbarton]

Clint smiled at her reaction and started massaging her scalp.

"See now I'm getting jealous," Bucky joked.

Nat closed her eyes, enjoying what Clint was doing. “That feels really nice, Clint,” she hummed, leaning back into his hands a bit.

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“Grave robber are you?” Bucky teased.  “I mean - sure I’m older, but I feel like a lot of my life wasn’t exactly lived by me.  I mean - I’m not exactly like Steve where he fell asleep and woke up and it was sixty years later.  But all those years I wasn’t exactly experiencing the world and learning life lessons the way you normally do.  So I think we’re all roughly the same age in the ways that matter.” 

“Speak for yourself,” Clint said. “I’m more like a little kid brain in a the body of a middle aged man with the spine of an eighty year old.”

Bucky laughed. “That balances out to what we are then,” he teased. 

“Yeah exactly. Sometimes people are happy just being in a loving relationship rather than having the stress of a marriage or whatever.” She shrugged subtly before moving to look at the both of them. She really did care about them both and wasn’t fussed about marriage or anything like that. As long as they were all happy that was what mattered to her. A part of her did wish that she had could have kids though, hating that that was taken away from her without her consent.

“Hey I think it’s hot that you would’ve been older. You’re still older than us now.” She pointed out gently before she was moving to take another couple bites of her food.

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He shook his head. “But it was still me that did it.  I still remember what it felt like.  I should have been strong enough to fight it and the fact I wasn’t makes me feel weak and useless.  And even if you say that I’m not and that I couldn’t have possibly fought against it, it doesn’t change that there are a lot of people in the world hurt because of what I did.  Every time Natasha sees me, she sees a guy who hurt her, even if I didn’t want to do it.  Even if I was hurt too.”

He swallowed and shook his head.  “And if I’m not strong enough to stop myself from doing those things how can I stop anyone else from doing them?”

He sighed and shook his head. “I’m not trying to argue with you.  It’s just how it is.  And I can live with it most days.  I have to believe that you and Clint want to be with me or else why would you be?  But I know it only takes a few words and I’ll can become worse that Dalton and how would I ever live with myself if that happened?”

“Hey-“ she spoke and stroked his chest. “That’s exactly it. They made you do it. You didn’t do any of those things because you wanted to,” she spoke and shook her head gently. “Natasha has never told me anything about it but she seems to like you. And she can hold a grudge, I do know that,” she spoke and smiled a bit.

Her heart was breaking at his words. “That’s the thing though,” she spoke gently. “We are all gonna keep each other safe. It’s not your job alone to keep us safe,” she spoke and nodded. She thought for a second. “Let’s put it this way,” she spoke and stroked his cheek again.

“If Dalton would have escaped that day… would I have been nervous? Yes. Would I have been scared?” She trailed off and shook her head. “No, because I have you by my side. And Clint. And I know none of you would let anything happen to me, as I would not let anything happen to any of you.”

[barnesandbarton]

hawkguy doodle

[barnesandbarton]

I wanted to draw his arm

[barnesandbarton]

Some doodles of Bucky and his cat Alpine