#norabarnes143

[mr-tony-stark]

Tony’s eyes flicked over Clint as he told the story, trying to look for tells to see if he was lying at all.  It seemed like he was telling the truth, but Tony had been burned by people in the past that he’d thought cared about him.  Almost fatally.

“It’s a problem because dating fans is  -” he let out a breath.  “Look.  For starters, if I date someone who’s a fan, then I can’t trust that they’ll do things based on what they actually want over what they think they need to to keep me in their life.  It’s the same as how teacher’s can’t date a student.  There’s a power dynamic that’s really skewed in the wrong way.  And I already have to worry about that just because of the amount of money I have.  Clint - I don’t think you realize how much power fame and money comes with.  I’ve slept with people by pointing at them and beckoning them over.  We didn’t even need to speak.  The money and fame was enough for all their common sense to fly out the window.  That’s bad enough if it’s a one time thing.  In those cases, as long as we’re keeping it fairly vanilla the hope is they have a good time and end up with a story they can tell for a while.  But long term?  It’s just a really fucked up dynamic”

He shook his head.  “And on my side, how can I trust that person?  How can I know that they even care about me as a person and not the celebrity they built up in their head?  I hear from Margot that you used to talk about me - and yes, you’re right, I’m famous, but so is Tom Cruise and I never talk about him - and I can’t help but think you’re only here because young you fantasized about it and went for it as soon as you got a chance.  I mean you’ve put up with me doing some pretty shitty things, Clint.”

Clint blinked in surprise at his words a blush forming on his cheeks. “First of all, why would it be weird? Everyone knew who you were, but that’s not the point,” he spoke waving his hand. “Okay so—-“ he rubbed the back of his neck and sighs. “First time I heard of you was through Margot. I was… around 20 at the time? Ish?” He spoke and nodded a bit.

“Not sure, anyways… I had always been unsure of my sexuality and then Margot was watching you on tv and well—“ he sighs obviously flustered. “I thought you were hot,” he spoke and nodded. “And I let a comment slip about how I definitley knew I was bisexual, because you were hot to me,” he spoke and waved his hand.

“I never like searched for you or anything, but from there on Margot teased me about thinking her like, idol, was hot. I never brought it up. But when she talked about you I would always mention, well he’s hot there’s that,” he explained. “So yes, I was talking about you but I wasn’t a fan,” he spoke and nodded a bit.

“So it’s just— an embarrassing story really of how I realised I was bisexual-“ he spoke waving his hand. However something hit him. “Wait— why is this a problem?” He asks.

[findroleplay]

Hello!

24F looking for roleplay partners! I’m looking for celebrities! Someone to do Harry Styles for me more specifically!

I am also looking for people in the 9-1-1 fandom to play Bobby for a ship for me.

Im always looking for more Loki, Tony, Clint and Steve and all others in marvel! Love that fandom!

I do smut, and I do like a lot of it, but it still needs a plot!

I do mxm, fxf, fxm. I can do male or female.

I prefer that we click both ooc and ic if not it´s hard to talk.

I can write here, discord or on telegram! ❤️ Send me a text or like this and I’ll reach out!

Discord: norabarnes143

Telegram: norabarnes143

Tumblr: norabarnes143

Wire: norabarnes143

Facebook: Nora Barnes

-

[mr-tony-stark]

// closed starter for @norabarnes143

Tony had been up for a few days now.  He wasn’t great at sleeping at the best of times, but since the whole ‘hole-in-the-sky-with-aliens-pouring-out’ debacle, he’d been having nightmares.  He was scared to go back to sleep, not that he’d admit that to anyone.

He’d been distracting himself in the lab when he wasn’t actively out being Iron Man or taking meetings with people. Since the Battle for New York, he’d made twenty-three new versions of his Iron Man armor.  All the different versions lined the walls of his workshop in different cases.

He was waning though.  In the past when he felt like this, he’d head out to a club, pick out someone to take home, and hope the sex would give him an endorphin high that would get him a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.  Tonight, he went to the communal kitchen to make himself the strongest coffee he could.

When he stepped into the room he was surprised to find Clint up.  “Hey, Legolas,” he said, beelining to the coffee machine.  “Can’t sleep?”

[barnesandbarton]

𝒶𝓋𝒶 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓈𝑜𝓃 𝓍 𝒸𝓁𝒾𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝒶𝓇𝓉𝑜𝓃 𝓍 𝒷𝓊𝒸𝓀𝓎 𝒷𝒶𝓇𝓃𝑒𝓈

Ava was nervous to meet the Avengers. She had been told great things about them, and Stephen obviously looked up to them in more ways than one, so the stakes was high, but when she met them? Oh god, she was so happy it went okay. She got along with Natasha right away, and Tony also was cool. Steve intimidated her, but that was only because she knew Captain America was still, after all these years, America´s sweetheart. Ava had on her cute summer dress that hugged her upperbody, it was wavy around her legs, reaching mid tigh, she had beautiful long legs, blond hair, light make up. She was simply a natural beauty. She wore some white heels aswell, wanting to be on her bed behaviour... atleast for now. Ava was a short girl, 5´1. "So, you still need to meet the last two, Bucky and Clint, they are actually a couple," Natasha explained and nodded softly smiling a bit. "Hey guys!" Natasha spoke, and Ava couldn´t help but have her jaw drop just at how hot they are, and together? They where absolutely to swoon for. Ava swallowed and nodded clearing her throat, getting her anxiety in check before she walked over and held her hand out for them and smiled softly. "I´m Ava. I´m joining you guys from now on," she spoke gently, however she was weak in the knees just by how hot they where.

Bucky and Clint hadn’t really been paying too much attention to the comings and goings at the tower today.  It was their day off and they were much more caught up with getting to spend some quality one on one time with each other.

They’d been together for a few months now, but there had been at least a full year of flirting and a certain super-soldier figuring out his sexuality and realizing he could let himself be happy if he wanted to.  They were well and truly in their honeymoon phase, where sex was exciting and they wanted to try out so many different things, and they just wanted to live in each other’s pockets whenever they could.

They were cuddled up, playing MarioKart on the couch in the Avengers common area when Natasha came in with the rather pretty blonde.  They both looked up and Clint jumped to his feet.  “Oh yeah?” he asked, coming over and offering her his hand. “Welcome to the team.  What can you do?  Laser eyes?  I hope it’s Laser eyes.”

“Clint,” Bucky scolded.  “Give her some breathing room.”

[barnesandbarton]

Bucky nodded gently. “Yeah.  Thank you.  Thank you for listening and trying to reassure me,” he whispered.  “I do want to be open with you.  I like when you let me in.  It’s hard though, right?  Being vulnerable.  Clint does it so easily and I don’t know how he can.  Well - most of the time either.”  When Clint was having a bad depressive episode his communication could get so bad that he’d turn off his hearing aids and then intentionally not face people so he didn’t have to talk to them.  But most of the time he let people know how he was feeling.

“We should get some sleep,” Bucky said.  He leaned in, kissing her forehead and then her lips. “I love you, Ava.”

Ava nodded in understanding. “You’re worried it’s going to be HYDRA,” she confirmed and sighs a little bit. “I know you won’t,” she spoke gently deciding to leave it at that. “I know we’re safe when we’re with you,” she spoke and nodded gently and kissed his cheek gently smiling a bit.

“You feeling a bit better?” She asks gently and stroked his chest gently. “I’m glad you told me this..” she whispers and nodded. “Thank you.”

[mr-tony-stark]

Tony let out a slow breath.  He knew very well.  That he could be completely overreacting right now.  He wasn’t sure how.  Why on earth would Margot have said he used to talk about Tony all the time before he’d even gotten married if he’d never done that before, and why would he be talking if he hadn’t been a fan?

Still, he didn’t want to just blow this up, even if he was absolutely freaking out inside.  He’d been enjoying this.

“You used to talk about me before you got married?” he asked.  “See that’s weird to me, because we didn’t meet until well after that.  Why would you talk about me to your elderly neighbor?”

Clint watched him and swallows thickly a hint of panic going through him. What had he done? He tried tracing his steps but he couldn’t figure it out. He nodded and smiled a bit.

The way home was silent. Dead silent. And Clint didn’t dare to try and say anything. Why would he? All he did was try and figure out what he had done wrong.

Once they got back to Clint’s farm, got Star into her new home, and went inside Clint looked at Tony and wrinkles his eyebrows. “What’s going on? Because I’m trying to figure out what on earth I have said wrong and I can’t for the life of me find out why,” he spoke and sighs shaking his head.

[barnesandbarton]

Bucky nodded. “Yeah.  I notice everything.  I’m always on alert because I don’t want someone to sneak up on me again.  I don’t want to be ambushed.  I don’t give a shit about people taking our photo or publishing it or saying horrible stuff about me.  I just don’t like when I don’t notice it happening.  Because Paps aren’t HYDRA.  They haven’t been trained to stay out of sight or sneak up on people.  But HYDRA has.  And what if next time it’s them and I don’t notice?”

He scowled and shook his head.  “I’m even more annoyed because we’d already been blindsided by someone today.  It’s okay.  I won’t let it happen again.”  

Ava didn’t agree for a second it was him, but she also understood where he was coming from. She kept stroking his hair gently smiling a little before nodding. “I’m grateful that you’re finally letting me in,” she whispers softly and nodded gently.

“It’s allowed to have set backs. In PTSD it’s normal,” she spoke and thought for a bit before wrinkling her eyebrows a bit. “Is that why you got a little cold and worried when you didn’t notice those people or whoever it was take photos of us?” She spoke gently.

It made sense. She would never understand the big picture, she would never understand how bad it was, but she could certainly try.

[mr-tony-stark]

Tony continued to pat the horse.  She was pretty.  Getting on a bit, but she’d be a good horse for Clint to use while they figured out if things were working here.  If they stayed to do that.

He let out a breath.  He didn’t want to get into it here.  There was too high of a chance for shouting and if it turned out Clint had been hiding this from him all this time, Tony would want to leave and that wasn’t exactly possible from here.

“We’ll talk about it at home,” he said.  His jaw clenched and twitched at the corner.  Could he even call it that anymore?  Was it his home or was it the second location his stalker had taken him to?

Clint heard his words and wrinkles his eyebrows a little bit before he nodded slowly. “Alright,” he spoke and glanced at Margot. “We’ll take her with us,” he spoke making Margot smile and nod softly. “I’ll go get the papers for her and the keys to the transporter,” she spoke and ran off to get it.

Clint’s eyes went to Tony again and leans against the fence looking at him. “What are you thinking about?” He spoke and looked at him. “You went quiet,” he added to state why he was asking.

Clint tried to figure out where it had gone wrong or if he had said something, because this whole day had been absolutely perfect until now. There was something, but he couldn’t figure out what.

[barnesandbarton]

Bucky swallowed and nodded.  “Thank you,” he whispered.  “I feel like -”  He paused and let out a breath.  “I can go a lot of days and feel fine.  There are things that annoy me.  I don’t like when people tell me it wasn’t me.  It was me.  You can say I didn’t have a choice.  That’s true.  But I’m not remembering someone else’s memories.  Your body is part of you.  I can remember it happening.  It was me.  But even still, most days I know Clint loves me.  I know you love me.  I know I love you both.  I know I’m safe.  But then shit happens.  I have a bad mission, or a lot of stress and I just - I break again.  It brings it all back up and I feel helpless and not worthy of it.”

He pressed his forehead into her collarbone.  “I do love you,” he whispered.  “I don’t want to shut you out.”

“I know you aren’t trying to argue,” she reassured gently and smiled a little bit. She watched him for a minute. Once he finished talking she spoke once more. “You can help stop those things because you have been through it,” she spoke finally. “Look, nothing me or Clint says is gonna change the way you feel, and understandably so,” she spoke gently.

“But we love you. No matter what you did. Or would do if it happened again, which I really hope dosent happen,” she spoke weakly and teared up. “I’m sorry I can’t be more useful,” she spoke with a small chuckle and sighs a bit. “And I’m sorry you feel this way.. and I hope that someday you can heal somewhat from it. And we will be here to help you and support you whenever you need it.”

[mr-tony-stark]

Margot was dropping information bombs on Tony that it was hard to absorb.  Especially when he felt like he shouldn’t just stop and grill him with questions.

Then she says something that makes him freeze in his tracks.  HE ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT YOU. BEFORE HE GOT MARRIED.  What the hell did that mean?  Clint’s reaction was hardly reassuring.  Had Clint been a fan?  Had Tony been dating an actual fan this whole time?  Did Clint actually love him or was he just collecting him?  Was this why Clint put up with so much of Tony’s shit because he didn’t want to lose the guy whose poster he had on the wall?

Tony felt guilty even thinking that.  Clint had done nothing but prove he was there for him and loved him and yet, he’d spent his whole life having fans trying to get a piece of him, it was hard not to react that way.

Tony was good at hiding his feelings though, so he didn’t even respond to the statements.  He’d bring it up later.  He approached the horse and patted her under her forelock.  “Hey girl,” he said.  He looked at Clint.  “If you already know her then whatever you think, Clint,” he said.  He really wanted to get out of here.  He didn’t know why they were even here if he’d met the horse and knew he wanted her.  This had nothing to do with Tony and Tony was close to having a full spiralling panic attack about the ethics of dating a fan and if that fan even cared about him outside of his fame. 

Margot smiled and nodded. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I knew that Clint would be back someday. He tried selling several times but just couldn’t. Here-“ she spoke and looked at Tony, taking his arm and lead him closer to Star. “Clint has already met Star, but let’s see how she handles you,” Margot spoke and smiled as Clint closely followed.

“He always talked about you. Before he got married,” Margot spoke making Clint freeze. “Okay, I think that’s enough going down the childhood road, Margot,” he spoke and chuckles standing next to Tony.

“Hey, you,” he spoke to Star who made an approving sound as Clint stroked her head gently. “This is Tony, I think you’ll like him,” Clint spoke and let Tony step closer.

[barnesandbarton]

He shook his head. “But it was still me that did it.  I still remember what it felt like.  I should have been strong enough to fight it and the fact I wasn’t makes me feel weak and useless.  And even if you say that I’m not and that I couldn’t have possibly fought against it, it doesn’t change that there are a lot of people in the world hurt because of what I did.  Every time Natasha sees me, she sees a guy who hurt her, even if I didn’t want to do it.  Even if I was hurt too.”

He swallowed and shook his head.  “And if I’m not strong enough to stop myself from doing those things how can I stop anyone else from doing them?”

He sighed and shook his head. “I’m not trying to argue with you.  It’s just how it is.  And I can live with it most days.  I have to believe that you and Clint want to be with me or else why would you be?  But I know it only takes a few words and I’ll can become worse that Dalton and how would I ever live with myself if that happened?”

“Hey-“ she spoke and stroked his chest. “That’s exactly it. They made you do it. You didn’t do any of those things because you wanted to,” she spoke and shook her head gently. “Natasha has never told me anything about it but she seems to like you. And she can hold a grudge, I do know that,” she spoke and smiled a bit.

Her heart was breaking at his words. “That’s the thing though,” she spoke gently. “We are all gonna keep each other safe. It’s not your job alone to keep us safe,” she spoke and nodded. She thought for a second. “Let’s put it this way,” she spoke and stroked his cheek again.

“If Dalton would have escaped that day… would I have been nervous? Yes. Would I have been scared?” She trailed off and shook her head. “No, because I have you by my side. And Clint. And I know none of you would let anything happen to me, as I would not let anything happen to any of you.”

[mr-tony-stark]

“Old lady?  What?  You don’t look a day over twenty-one,” Tony said.  He smiled affectionately at Clint as she told him about how his boyfriend had used to hang around her farm when he was a kid.  Tony could picture him clearly and it made him feel warm inside.

“I bet he was a cute kid,” Tony said, rubbing Clint’s back.

He shrugged. “Oh - you know.  I’m getting on a bit and superheroing takes a lot of you.  And Clint here was thinking he might like more of a quiet life,” he explained.  “So we thought we’d give the farm life a go.  It’s been good so far.” 

Clint couldn’t help but laugh at Tony just throwing himself at the chance to charm Margot. Margot, being a fan couldn’t help but get flustered by the way Tony was kissing her cheek and complimenting her. But she kept calm and chuckles softly and shook her head. “Well- I was good friends with Clint’s mother-“ Margot started.

“And my husband, who sadly passed away, we built it together, I’m just keeping it going because I can’t seem to let it go,” she explained. “No modeling jobs, but you’re a peach for flattering an old lady like myself,” she spoke and patted Tony’s cheek.

“Clint spent a lot of time here when he was younger. Always with the horses,” she spoke and nodded. Clint smiled a bit as he looked over at the horses. “What about you? How did Clint manage to get you out on his farm?”

[barnesandbarton]

He shrugged.  He didn’t even know that he knew the answer to that.   “I don’t know.  I guess there’s part of me that is.  It’s been a long time since I’ve been triggered and I don’t even know if it could happen anymore.  But sometimes I wake up and I don’t know where I am and I feel like I’m frozen.” 

He shook his head.  “But maybe.  I was made to kill friends and to hurt them.  I knew Natasha back then.  In the Red Room.  They used me to train the girls.  What they made me do…”  He swallowed.  “I don’t deserve to have people that love me.  I don’t think you would if you knew everything.  And I’m scared I can’t keep any of you safe.”

Ava looked at him and listened to absolutely every word soaking it in so she could understand him better. “That sounds awful,” she whispers and shook her head actually tearing up just ever so slightly because of the pain he must have felt and somehow still feeling. How angry she was that someone could treat anyone’s like this. And angrier because it was someone she loved that had been through it.

As he explained his dream her eyes softened slightly as she reached up cupping his cheek gently. “Baby..” she whispers softly and leans up pressing a kiss to his lips. It was a loving and reassuring kiss. “Is.. that something you’re afraid of?” She asks carefully. “That you snap into it again?”

[mr-tony-stark]

Tony nodded. “Oh good.  Well as long as she’s prepared I can charm her socks off,” he said with a wink.

When Clint called out to the old woman, Tony approached her with a big smile, holding his hand out to her as soon as he saw her.  He took her hand and instead of shaking it, he pulled himself in and kissed her cheek. “You must be the famous Margot!” he said. “It’s an absolute pleasure.”

He waved his hand around the property.  “Your place is gorgeous.  How can such a beautiful young woman afford such a place?  Modelling work on the side?” he teased playfully.

Clint walked with him and nodded a bit. “Yeah I told her. Mostly because she’s been asking for a while who I brought to the farm,” he spoke and chuckles. “She knew I was dating someone but out of respect she didn’t ask, so when she asked I told her, and she was so happy for me but she was so happy that she could meet you aswell,” he spoke and chuckles again.

“But yes I told her you were coming with me to look at Star,” he spoke and kissed his hand as they finally approached an older woman down by the horses. “Margot!” He called out making her turn and smile gently walking up to them. “About time I got to meet the lucky person you were dating,” she spoke and nodded.

“And you must be Tony,” she spoke holding her hand out for him to shake. “I’m Margot. Big fan of your work,” she spoke sweetly and nodded.

[barnesandbarton]

He nodded.  “Yeah,” he said and covered his face with his hand.  “Like this.”  His brow twitches as he tries to remember his time as the soldier.  “I could talk if I needed to, but I’m pretty sure it was to discourage me.  It was hard to breathe through.  I think - there were things that helped me come through.  If someone recognized me.  If I realized my accent was wrong.  And the muzzle helped stop both those things.  I think… it's hard to remember.”

He shook his head and swallowed thickly.  “It’s strange how I remember things.  Because it was like they’d overlay this personality over the top of mine.  It wasn’t much of one.  Didn’t have a background.  Sometimes it didn’t even have a name.  Just blank and compliant.  But I remember killing people.  I remember - cold.  And sugar.  I can taste sugar.  I think about that time and sometimes it’s me and sometimes it’s like a movie I’m watching, and sometimes there are gaps.”

He sighed and ran his hand down her arm.  He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. “In my dream I was choking you. But I was trying to stop myself and I couldn’t,” he mumbled. 

Ava laughed with him and shook her head smiling softly before she sighs at the loss of him before curling into his chest and looked up at him. “No need to thank me but… you’re welcome,” she spoke gently before listening to him.

She frowned a bit at his words. “A muzzle?” She asks and wrinkles her eyebrows a bit. “It’s okay, I get it. I don’t know in detail what happened yet, and no one will probably ever know all of it, but I do imagine it was just awful,” she spoke and shook her head.

“I remember hearing it on the news and it was just faint something about HYDRA and that you had joined the avengers. And I did my own dive into searching for what HYDRA was and just the few things I was well… awful,” she spoke and sighs shaking her head. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”