bajablizzy

[bajablizzy]

Here’s some positivity for headmates who hold onto their system’s past habits!

Change can often be very challenging and, for some systems, headmates may be left behind with the traits that used to belong to their collective. If you are headmate who maintains habits that the rest of your system has abandoned, this post is for you!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who still struggle with negative coping methods that their system has since moved on from!

🌻 Shoutout to headmates who often feel stuck in the past or negative memories, or feel stagnant and incapable of change!

🪻 Shoutout to headmates who have taken on a role involving old habits that the rest of their system no longer keep!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who have old habits rooted in anger, fear, depression, or anxiety that their system doesn’t struggle with anymore!

🌻 Shoutout to headmates who feel lost, confused, or left out of their system due to holding on to habits which have been discarded by the rest of their system!

🪻 Shoutout to headmates who find change more difficult and challenging than their other system members!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who did change, but have since reverted back to their old ways!

🌻 Shoutout to headmates who have to keep their old habits for the benefit of their system, whatever that entails for them!

🪻 Shoutout to headmates whose old habits are tied to old memories or relationships which they feel like they have to maintain in order to keep that connection alive!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who are trying to learn self-acceptance and self-kindness now, as they are, even if they haven’t made the changes that the rest of their system has committed to!

Having or maintaining old habits, even if they are maladaptive or harmful, does not make you a bad person or a bad member of your system! You may have your own reasons for holding onto old habits, or it may just be really challenging for you to let go and move forward. Either way, you are still cherished and so special just the way you are! You still deserve to be loved, respected, and uplifted, both in your system and in the plural community. We’re wishing the very best for you, and hope that you’re able to find peace, comfort, and self-acceptance in your future! Thank you so much for reading, and take care!

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My mom marveled at my ability to drive one handed. The same woman who told me she couldn’t wait to dump me in a facility when I turned 18. The parent who told me they’d disown me if their mother wouldn’t disapprove . The same lady who assumed I would never be able to drive. The same person who now wants me to care for her in old age.

Even as disabled as I am, sometimes I have to hold space for what I’ve overcome. Because those around me refuse to even acknowledge the bias I’ve refuted just by fighting for the right to be myself.

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Being a task based poly frag system means forgoing representation & trying your hardest to be overlooked because the alternative is falling apart while being forced to adhere to a version of DID that never represented you. Read that twice xx

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I spent years trying to justify my existence though assimilation. I wish I could go b back and tell myself I was enough.

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I want to make a movie but with fibro everything feels impossible

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Went out tonight, first time in a long time. I don’t feel like me but I’m gonna fake it until I make it

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What if she was right? What if I really was someone else? Someone beautiful and powerful. Buried alive and suffocating to death, very far away on the other side of the television screen.

I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun

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Let me guess: the dad is the one who passed on all the neurispicy genes. by himself. 🥴

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Once upon a time, 30 odd years ago, my father tried to hang out with his side piece & left me with his preacher friend. That man?Gave me DID.

Happy Father’s Day to me.

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it’s so funny when authors try to write rural settings but they didn’t even like google it. saga and i are reading through a book rn set in the extremely rural south & the main character is a poor farmer and all the popular kids hate her and also it’s emphasized that the popular kids are all afraid of dirt and animals. one of the Cheerleaders TM screams in terror mud gets on her “nice abercrombie jeans.��� which is wild to me bc speaking as someone who went to a rural high school (i was in the Future Farmers of America no less), the popular kids ARE the farmers. the “popular girls” would be going to bonfires in the woods on their 4wheelers.

also the main character specifically wishes she had a pair of jeans but she doesn’t have any jeans, because her family is farmers. Listen

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I love pop rocks, can I have some more [x]

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thank the alter who did the homework. tell the alter who cooked how much you liked the food. tell the alters who shower and clean your room and work out and drive home how much you appreciate them keeping things together, and tell them more when they mess up, because it's all about being there for each other.

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I’m just gonna try to do the thing. And not worry about the naysayers. It’s hard though. It’s so hard.

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This is just a reminder that you can change

It's not "faking" if you change, it doesn't mean you made it up then or you're making it up now

THIS INCLUDES alter personality

you might be a protector now who doesn't know how to laugh, maybe in the future you'll identify more with caregiver and laugh all the time

maybe you're a gatekeeper but in the future you identify more with a persecutor

maybe you just like cats now and you hated them before

or you held an opinion you don't think anymore

that's OKAY, i can even go and say that it's perfectly normal/reasonable

people (singlets) do it all the time, it's part of life

you will experience new things that give new perspectives and new ideas

and a lot of time, it's simply unhealthy to try and stay the exact same and not adapt

[bajablizzy]

I saw something about how people with transplants will take on personality traits of their donor. I wonder which personality they’d get if it came from a plural person

The distinction between our brain and our system that's made itself evident recently is super fascinating to me. The way our brain will automatically suppress certain core traits of people in the system when they front for the sake of masking. But that can change if you front long enough, and the brain will start to adapt and incorporate aspects of you into its own identity. The more you front, the more authentic you can be in the body. For example, I have a plethora of personality disorders that the body doesn't, and for a pretty long time, when I fronted, it was like they weren't there at all, but they've been showing up again lately now that I've been the main host for a few weeks.

Yesterday we were thinking about it and something clicked in our head: our brain didn't create the system, but because we've been a system for our entire life, we believe it sort of developed around that fact, and utilized it to adapt to traumatic situations, which is why we have a number of traumagenic sysmates and dissociative barriers. Our system isn't confined to our brain, but our brain is plural at its core, because it's never known any different.