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[awkward-minds-blog1]

Message for Mom

<•>

Mom

I never got a chance to say bye

I was never born -

You may have had regrets

You may have wished it wasn’t true but,

You were never to blame

However, I will never be -

It wasn’t poor judgement

It wasn’t miscare

It was beyond the attention and control

Of a hundred doctors or more

Working around the clock and

Flipping over calender pages

And overtime wages,

Your rage has

Miscarried away

Your smile,

Your spirit,

Your confidence,

I don’t blame you

Neither should anyone else, so

Please have a chance to mourn

Cry as much as you need

But don’t wish it was you

And not me, because

I was never born -

I wouldn’t have even had a chance to say hi

So know you did your best and that fate

Had other plans, and try exra hard to love

Yourself, for me, your baby never born.

<•>

JESB - Fall 2018

[awkward-minds-blog1]

Hopeless hope.

Left those places where one could have been there,

Crazy wilderness noise,where my heart trembles to get in there.

Step by step darkness grow in that place,boiling blood flowing inside my heart and there it stays.

Holding a hand,a weakling I guess,but what to expect if darkness is here.

Wind convinced it was my desire, to drift the leaves away from the fire.

I feel like my brain is heavy from inside,even though drums in a canal can handle you from outside.

But ambulatory those sparks of light started fading away,I see path with bloods that leads my way.

Dub Dub sound when my foot goes down,scaring me with those murmur someone might come out.

Blades of spades heavily got gazed,holding in a hand someone also got amazed.

Streaks of dark and blood got stained,a steady breath still to be attained.

Diaphragm was deep when a light came through the breach.

Jolt of electricity started flowing through my streets, towards the ribs.

An eye to a weakling,my life started to scattering.

Limped I guess even though I have those legs.

So,at last lights played,gleeks made.

Hopeless hope can't save you in decades.

A.M-

[awkward-minds-blog1]

Life is just like this chair, many will come,sit and go, But thing is you have to be the same chair, Repairments done, recoloured,mended, But your life must remain same.

[awkward-minds-blog1]

[awkward-minds-blog1]

The more you expect the more you get hurt

It's the universal rule of friendship!

[awkward-minds-blog1]

What's always with you is my love, if I am not with you.

My love

I love you

And that you must know too

b'coz if you don't know that

Then it's my bad!

But my love

I know you do

You know I love you.

B'Coz I tell you

Not by words

But my works

My actions, my care

Always with you

Not matter anywhere

B'Coz baby I do

I say it I loud!

I love you💗

[awkward-minds-blog1]

Heartless hope for those eternity words.

As my heart melts,those were the churning thoughts.

Gulping down every part of your words.

I was trembled to be part of that word.

Screams were silent,pain was roaring.

Just to say that 4 letter story.

Amusing chills that thrilled my heart.

Waving into your eyes, I just fall apart,

Into those dreams where nothing was bright,

I had laugh,love & talks when everything was right.

Crumbling those leaves who had no hopes to say,

I feel like moron who still keep hopes to say.

No,I’m not cogent with my feelings,

I reckon that with those beautiful trauma, I’ll be leaving.

I’ll be leaving so soon

Because right now I am talking to the moon.

[awkward-minds-blog1]

I am talking to you.

You know na?

Or you are still that dense person.

Talking to the moon.

Yes, I am talking,

Coz it's paining,

And I am fainting.

Neither any stress ,

Nor any strain,

It's just pain.

I think I'll die soon.

So should I lose my every hope for you.?

No,but I'll keep talking to the moon.

What happened to you dear?

What's that mask you wear?

Ohh I know! It's

SORROW.

Coz I'm a dumbass crow.

You thought I left you .

While I was just beside you.

Your thoughts makes me to die soon.

Yes, I am talking to the moon.

[awkward-minds-blog1]

And yet another day passed

She ignored me in her own way.

A.M

[awkward-minds-blog1]

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