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Bleeeeugh om niom niomniom blereegh

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I wonder how many times I’ve walked by a person who actually found me attractive.

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As someone who's been binding for 6 years, all of these apply. First meeting with my surgeon tomorrow (12th May 2017)

Reasons why I need top surgery;

Reasons why I need top surgery; 1. To not have to wear a binder every single day of my existence after 3.5 years 2. To wear white/see through t-shirts without having to worry about people seeing my binder 3. To wear those really douchy vests 4. To not have to be so specific in which t-shirts I buy 5. To not stare in the mirror for ages making sure I’m flat at every angle 6. To get out of the shower and not have to wait around so I’m dry enough to put my binder on 7. To wear button down shirts without having a weird bump 8. To wear a shirt and tie and for the tie to fall flat 9. To not have a binder push my body so my hips are more prominent 10. To not feel a constant pressure around my ribs 11. To not have weird bit chest hanging on the sides of my binder 12. To have hugs and fully feel them against my chest 13. To not worry when people tap/rub my back and feel my binder 14. To experience how different materials feel on my chest and back 15. To feel flat enough 16. To actually have nothing between my chest and clothes 17. To stay over someone’s house and not worry about binding 18. To not have to experience taking a binder off before I sleep 19. To wake up and not feel exposed because I’m not wearing a binder 20. To lie in bed and not feel anything on my chest 21. To not have permanent marks from my binder on my body 22. To not worry about people touching my chest 23. To just get out of bed when a parcel arrives rather than scrambling to put a binder on 24. To not be so damn hot all the time 25. To look in the mirror and be happy with what I see 26. To not dread having a bath/shower 27. To do sport and not feel like I’m going to die 28. To go swimming shirtless 29. To be shirtless in my own home 30. To exercise and not worry about changing binders 31. To be able to breathe easily 32. To feel freedom 33. To be able to walk around in just boxers 34. To lie with someone without a shirt on 35. To not have to buy another binder 36. To stand up tall 37. To wear a backpack comfortably 38. To feel comfortable in changing rooms 39. To move on and start living my life 40. To make my body feel like home

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“Every morning, I wake up and think, ‘Shit, it wasn’t just a bad dream.’ But I know one day, I will win this fight and be the man that I am supposed to be. You try so hard to pass in the cruel world, you give it 150% and the simplest of words ruins it. It’s not about being a new person, but becoming the person you were already meant to be.” -Aedyn Rhys

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NOH8 Alessandra Torresani, Drew Carey, Eliza Dushku, Emmy Rossum, George Takei, Idina Menzel, Joss Whedon, Ruby Rose, Lin-Manuel Miranda.

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Do you feel like someone is using the “wrong” bathroom? Please don’t: -Stare at them -Challenge them -Insult them -Do not purposefully make them uncomfortable. Instead, please: -Respect their privacy -Respect their identity -Carry on with your day -Protect them from harm They are using the facilities they feel safe in. Please do not take this right away from them. Trans* & gender questioning students… You have every right to be here: -In this facility -In this university -In this world Your gender identity and expression are valid.

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Ten Things Trans Men Want You To Know

By Jason Robert Ballard

Over my life as a transgender man I have had moments I wish I could have said something to someone close to me but failed to. Until going back in time is an option, lets move forward with better understanding on things we wish we could tell our close friends and potential partners. If you’ve received this article from a friend, are they trying to tell you you’re guilty of one of these points? Potentially, or they just think it was a good read and you might enjoy it.

1. You’re guilty by association You will receive more questions about me than I will. People who are confused or curious will typically ask a person they believe can relate to them or think share similar experiences. Talk to me about what I’m comfortable with you sharing when you field these questions. If I prefer not to be outed, you could respond with a simple, yet firm “It’s not my place to answer these questions for you, I’m sorry.” If I’m open about my transition, find out how to appropriately answer or divert harsh questions. This will make you a better ally and allow conversations to flow toward critical discussions instead of focusing on sexualizing the experience. As the topic of transgender lives emerges in mainstream media, questions often fall into one of two categories “genuine curiosity” or “superficial curiosity”. The question, “What are some reasons a transman might not have bottom surgery” is different from the question “Do you have a penis?“ Knowing whether the questioner is coming from a place of good will or being malicious may help you decide how to handle these moments.

2. “But you’ll always be _____ to me” hurts Transition in life is inevitable. While seeing your little cousin for the first time in years and enjoying the fact that they were once in diapers, one may say “Aw, but you’ll always be little tommy to me!” and be perfectly acceptable. However, in my case I may have struggled with who I was and how I felt about myself before coming out as the authentic me. This is a time in my life of positive growth and happiness and if I’ve chosen to share it with you, telling me that you’d rather remain seeing me as someone I have taken great risks to leave behind is hurtful and damaging to our friendship. Telling me I’ll always be my birth name or birth sex in your eyes can be like telling someone who struggled with depression that you’ll always see them as ‘that pathetic emo kid’ or someone who fought with self image and weight lose that they’ll always be ‘fat’ to you. See what I’m saying? Yes, we may have a long history of knowing each other before I came out and that might be hard for you to let go of or see differently. Let me know you’re trying by not using this statement.

3. Outing me can be extremely dangerous. As positive as some of the media and support for trans people are, there is still an overwhelming amount of hatred and ignorance. Hundreds of transgender people are murdered every single year and most of these times the killer walks due to failed/no protection laws in place for me. You may think that having a trans friend and talking about it in a public setting is fine, but if the wrong person over hears you or tells their friend who tells their friend, I could be in serious danger. It being a novelty to have a trans friend isn’t worth my life. If you want to talk about it, just don’t use my name and say you’ve ‘got a friend’.

4. My dysphoria isn’t your fault It can be tough to be emotionally involved with someone who has a hard time with self image. You yourself may feel like you’re solely responsible for their happiness but sometimes their sadness comes from a place you simply can’t touch. It is not your fault that I have places and things about my body that I don’t like paid attention to. Talk to me and find out what is okay with me and what you can do to ease any triggering of my dysphoria, but don’t take the dysphoria personally. Some relationships, trans or cis don’t end up being ‘text book’. If I’m uncomfortable with my breasts and talk about wanting surgeries in the future, being sad about that and saying things like “But I love your boobs!” or “No don’t, I love you just the way you are” isn’t supportive. In fact, it’s proof that you’ve created an image of me in your head that doesn’t match up with who I really am and that’s not a positive basis for a relationship.

5. “It isn’t the T” Beginning hormone replacement therapy can be a HUGE moment in my life. However, following that achievement I may lash out at you or be a jerk. If I say things like “It’s the testosterone”, you have my permission to not believe it. I am well aware of the emotional changes that I’ve decided to undertake and there are countless support systems and advice articles for dealing with extra tension and shorter tempers all over Google. My mood swings and hormonal imbalance are mine to control, not yours to tolerate. I have no right to be rude to you or push you away and blame a substance.

6. How do those egg shells feel? Don’t get so hung up on words that the conversations never happen. You know me, if we’ve been close for any period of time you know what and how to phrase questions and statements to not be offensive. Though I may not want to be an educator all day every day to strangers at the grocery store, you’re my friend and it shows me you care when you’re excited about my transition with me. Many transgender people don’t have or lose their entire support systems when they come out so I’m lucky to have you. If you’ve been around the web a time or two you’ll notice our community gets hung up on terms and words. Don’t let this frighten you into bailing on me.

7. Don’t date me despite me If you’re interested in dating me, make sure you’re interested because of who I am, not despite my trans status. You’re not doing me a favor by being interested in me ‘even though’ I’m trans, you’re making it seem like to you it’s something that makes me hard to handle or below you and THANK GOODNESS you’re here now to be interested in me because who else would? Rude.

8. What you say behind my back is what you really think of me When I first come out, some people might say things like “It’s about time” or “I always knew”, some may say they had no clue and some people might not believe me due to the rise of something called “trans-trending”. Whether you think I’m doing this for attention or because my friend is doing it too isn’t for you to decide. The locals don’t get to get together and vote to approve my trans status. There is no way for you to tell what has been going on in my mind for years and what I’ve struggled with personally. There are many ways to transition and no one way is perfect or the way it has to be done. Talk to me about it, find out my story if you feel so inclined. If not, just leave it alone because it doesn’t affect your life at all.

9. My pronouns mean a lot to me Chances are I’ve chosen a new name and have preferred gender pronouns, you using them is a big deal to me and when you do it shows me that you support me in bettering my life for myself. Which should be qualities of all friends! At the beginning, you may slip or mess up but I promise I’ll be able to tell if someone is genuinely trying or if someone is making a point to use the wrong ones.

10. Thank you If you’ve taken the time to read or share this article with someone close to you, you’ve sought out advice on being a better Trans Ally and that to me is admirable. Wanting to educate yourself to make me and any other transgender person in your life more comfortable in this time of great community and media change is worth a big thank you. There is a lot of anger and hatred in the world and in our small community and sometimes Allys can be pushed to their limits or be afraid to use the wrong words or do the wrong thing. Every single person behind us and in support of us is valuable. Thank you for your patience, your friendship and your love.

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Submit your questions for a new Issue Time on transgender body positivity! 

You can submit questions here until Wednesday 2/22. Answers will be posted on Refinery29′s tumblr Saturday 2/25. Anyone is welcome to participate, but we especially want to help transgender and nonbinary people of all genders.

And now, meet our panelists…

Rylan Jay Testa, Ph.D., Psychology Professor

Dr. Rylan Jay Testa is an Assistant Professor in the Psychology Department at Rhodes College and the Director of the Health Behavior and Disparities Lab. Dr. Testa is a clinical psychologist and transgender man whose research focuses on understanding and preventing self-destructive health-related behaviors, such as suicide, eating disorders, and substance abuse in marginalized communities.

Daniel Friedman, Founder of Bindle & Keep

Daniel Friedman is founder of Bindle & Keep, a NYC-based custom suit company serving all gender identities. He also costars in the HBO film SUITED which follows the stories of five gender nonconforming people in their journey to wear clothes that accurately reflect the way they feel. 

Justice Roe Williams, Executive Director of BodyImage4Justice & Fitness Coach for JusticeBodies

Justice Roe Williams is a published poet originally from Atlantic City, New Jersey.  He is a founding Director of BodyImage4Justice (BI4J), an holistic wellness and fitness program for the LGBTQ community that primarily focuses on Trans Bodies. Prior to his work at BI4J, Justice organized to free political prisoners for low income communities and young people in the South End, Dorchester, Jamaica Plain and Roxbury areas of Boston.

Aydian Dowling, CEO of Point5cc and Point of Pride

Aydian Dowling is a Transgender Activist and Entrepreneur, owner of Point5cc Clothing and President/Founder of Point of Pride, Non Profit. Aydian has documented his transition since 2009 via his Youtube Channel, ALionsFears, and is most commonly known to be the first Transgender Man on the cover of the worlds biggest mens magazine, Men’s Health.

Precious Davis, Diversity & Inclusion at Columbia College Chicago and LGBTQ Activist

Precious Davis is lauded nationally as an award winning diversity professional, social justice facilitator, and educator.  She currently is the Assistant Director of Diversity Recruitment Initiatives at Columbia College Chicago, her alma mater from which she received a BA in Liberal Arts. Precious currently implements and oversees the Campus Wide Diversity Initiative and is the first woman of color to hold this position.

Davis finds deep meaning in engaging individuals in conversations surrounding bias, bigotry, and prejudice in their communities on the basis and belief that humans can coexist with one another positively through the embracing of each other’s differences and the celebrating of  each others human diversity. With over 15 years of diversity training, leadership development, and social justice education experience Precious is a highly demanded speaker and panelist who has been featured at: The University of Chicago, Northwestern University, The Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago, The University of Michigan, The Chicago Community Trust, Reed College, Hampshire College, and Loyola University Chicago.

SUBMIT QUESTIONS HERE

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Hey guys, here is the official Documentary Danie and I worked on for a year and a half. I’m so stoked to finally share my journey with you all. Cheers, and enjoy! 

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Voice Deepening Stretches

Lean your head back until you feel a light stretch in your neck tendons.

Hold for fifteen seconds.

Lightly hum, and gradually bring it down lower as you go.

Center your head.

Now lean your head to the left until you feel a light stretch.

Hold for fifteen seconds.

Center your head.

Repeat this process leaning your head to the right.

Lower your head down and put your hands behind your head.

Try to push your head against your hands upwards, while providing resistance from your hands.

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Hey!!!! To all my followers on here, I know I haven't really posted much of my own words on here coz I pretty much just reblog stuff but I thought everyone could use a little intro!! So my name is Matt. I'm 22 (23 in Feb) and I live in South Wales, U.K. I still live at home with my Dad and my younger siblings who are 10 year old twins. In 2011, my mum passed away through breast cancer and shortly after I came out as transgender. That's right, I was born a girl! The above photo is my most recent comparison picture as I have now reached 6 months on testosterone. The photo on the left is one I took the day I started T- 2/7/15 and the photo on the right is one I took just a few days ago marking 6 months on T- 2/1/16. I have the feeling that this year is going to be a good one with hopefully at least a referral for top surgery if not a date as well. Here's to a hopeful 2016!

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