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autumnreads · 9 years ago

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5 Things I’ve Learned These Past Few Months and Why I’m Sharing Them.

Friends,

How are you? It’s been a little while since my last post (for those who may have forgotten or maybe didn’t see, it was on Labels and Stereotypes.) I want to take a moment to thank everyone who took the time to not only read my post but who took part in it. I am still in awe and get goose bumps every time I watch the videos that you sent me, ripping up all the hurtful and untrue words you have ever been called. Thank you to those who shared my post and for your supportive and kind words. When I wrote it I had no clue that posting it would turn into anything. I was simply just hoping to touch one heart. I can honestly say that every single one of you touched my heart. Thank YOU for doing that.

Alright, lets get into another post and hopefully encourage one another again. Shall we?!

This post is going to be about the top 5 things that I have learned in the last several months that have changed my life for the better. It’s time to open up a dialogue about remembering to be who we are, choosing positivity over negativity and allowing ourselves to be happy, and it begins right now. Here’s what I’ve learned so far.

1: Don’t let others opinions change who YOU are:

Have you ever had someone’s opinions, like I have, make you question who you are and bring you down?

You see, we live in a world where cliques do exist, certain billboards showcase what we are supposed to look like, where we are constantly being told “what’s in style” “what’s trendy” “you need to be cool” when in reality none. of. this. stuff. matters. Why does it not matter? The answer is simple. Can you imagine a world where every single person talked the same, dressed the same, acted the same, danced the same, cooked the same, cried the same, laughed the same, or even felt the same emotions? How limiting and unexciting would that world would be? Do you know how wonderful it is that you and I and your best friend simply aren’t the same? I believe in my heart that God created each and every one of us knowing that we would all bring a little something different to this big world and sometimes people’s opinions get to us and we forget that. I want you to know that if this has ever happened to you, it’s okay. You aren’t alone. My advice to you would be this: Live your life like no one is watching, dance to your favorite song, cry so hard and let your mascara run, order two desserts instead of one or buy that onesie you’ve been wanting and have a girls night. Do what makes YOU happy and what makes YOU a better person because guess what? BEING YOU is what’s COOL. Trends go out of style, but YOU never can. Don’t forget that.

2: Choose Happiness

Happiness isn’t something that you can buy. It isn’t something that will always be there for you. It isn’t guaranteed in every friendship or relationship BUT it is something that we need to allow ourselves to be. The truth is this: we all want to feel happy but sometimes it’s hard. I’ve experienced this first hand. Sometimes situations bring you down, moments disappoint you, relationships fail and people just aren’t who you thought they were and that hurts. This will happen to ALL of us at some point in our life. We’ve all had that someone in our life who brings us down instead of lifting us up, who bring out our flaws instead of our strengths and who makes us focus on negativity rather than positivity. This clearly isn’t good. I’ve been there. If someone is making you feel this way, then you are letting them take away your happiness and that MUST STOP today.

3: Be honest with yourself.

In my opinion, honesty is one of the most important things in any kind of relationship. Yes, honesty can hurt. Sometimes you wish you didn’t hear the person you are dating say the words, “I cheated” and instead you want to hear “I didn’t”. However, at the end of the day if you aren’t honest, you can’t build trust. If you don’t have trust then there is no truth or value to that relationship anymore. In life, there will be times when you fail to be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. I want to share with you a little about a situation I was recently in. In my heart I knew that I wasn’t happy. I knew there was no trust or respect and I knew that I was constantly being put down. I knew in my gut that this was wrong, but I kept trying to convince myself otherwise. I think the reason why I did this was because I was afraid of letting this person go and somehow I felt like I did something wrong. I’ve realized now that we lie to ourselves about how we are actually feeling because we feel guilty for simply having any negative feelings. I’ve realized, that we forget that it’s okay to be sad, or that it’s okay to be disappointed or it’s okay to be annoyed that you were wrong to trust someone. I want you to know that it’s okay for us to be honest, and to protect our hearts and our value as human beings.

4 Be brave enough to recognize that certain people are harmful to you.

What does being brave mean to you? Being brave to me is about how you deal with a situation that truly scares you. Sometimes people come in your life and they test who you are as a person. They start to challenge your morals, your generous spirit, your kind heart and your innocence or vulnerability. That can be a very scary thing. When this happens it’s easier for us to start listening to that person and that negative voice and to start doubting our own worth. It takes a lot of bravery to stand up and realize that this situation is wrong and harmful to us. We MUST respect ourselves, otherwise how should we expect to be respected by others. If anyone is holding you back, stopping you from being happy or pulling you down rather than lifting up… BE BRAVE. TAKE A LEAP. AND CHANGE YOUR PATH.

5: Be loving and kind to everyone.

My mom has a sign in our kitchen in LA that says: Because Nice Matters

I know that sometimes we can be emotionally exhausted from what others have done to us, and we think “Why should I show them kindness and respect when they don’t show it to me?” I was guilty of asking myself this exact same question, after being repeatedly mistreated by someone. Here’s what I’ve learned about the importance of being kind to all. We don’t know for a fact what this person is going through and why they decided to be mean and take it out on us. We aren’t in control of their actions. We are only in control of OURS. Therefore, we need to treat them the way that we would want to be treated. I promise you that it takes way more energy and time to be mean to others than it does to be a light or a burst of positivity and kindness, even to those who don’t show it back to you. It’s way more fun to be the reason behind someone’s smile than it is to be the reason behind someone’s tears.

You may be wondering what made me share this and why. You see, I always want to be as open and honest with you all, because I feel in my heart that the more we discuss what we are going through the less we feel all alone. I learned these five things when I was put in a situation with a person who I cared for deeply. I was hurt. Time after time again. After being brave enough to face it, I realized that I was getting no respect or honesty from the person. After removing myself from the situation I was able to reflect on my time with this person. This allowed me to realize that I deserve to be happy, that I deserve to be respected and that I deserve to not be lied to. It hit me that I wasn’t the only person going through all these feelings and confusion. This is why I’m writing this post and sharing what I’ve learned. I know what it’s like to be confused, hurt or to feel un-worthy and I also know that NO ONE deserves to feel this way. So, if someone is doing these things to you, please please, keep your head held up, kill them with class and kindness and walk away.

I also want to encourage YOU to remember these five points in your life. Please do not be afraid to take care of yourself, to always be HONEST with yourself, to know that you are BRAVE enough to change situations and to always do everything with a kind heart. I also want you to never forget that you, not others, are in charge of your happiness. YOU are in control of what you want to spend your time and energy on. You can choose to not sit around and wait for the guy/girl to text you back and instead you can spend that time doing something you love and opening your mind to the world of possibilities. You have the strength and bravery to forbid any negativity to come into your life, and if it starts to creep in you have the power to say “no” because no one can make you say “yes” but you. Don’t settle for anything other than respect and love, be it in a friendship or relationship. You are worth so much to this world! Sprinkle your generosity and positivity around like confetti, and always leave a little bit of your sparkle everywhere you go. Remember that no opinion from others can define who you are. Remove those who pull you down and celebrate those who lift you up.

Lastly, please know that you are not alone in any of this. We are all going through similar situations, so lets go through them together… lets be here for each other.

Now, it wouldn’t be a “Bailee tumblr post” if I didn’t challenge you just a little bit. Lately, writing has been a big escape for me and has been very therapeutic. Perhaps it will help you too. Take out a piece of paper and write down every positive thing in your life. It can be people, objects, memories, or anything that fills you with happiness. Now, I want you to take a separate piece of paper and write down the things that create negativity in your life. Once that’s done post the piece of paper with your positives somewhere that you can see it right when you wake up every morning, and put the piece of paper with your negatives in the TRASH… because friends that negativity isn’t worth your time or energy. Make today your first step in creating a positive and uplifting life for yourself. You deserve it.

Be kind. Spread love. Inspire others and show respect to everyone, xoxo Bailee

Ps. If there’s a topic you would like to discuss and would like for me touch upon let me know :)

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autumnreads · 9 years ago

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What are the stages of drafts? I'm trying to write my own book but I dont know how to draft properly and I feel like I'm gonna be stuck in a gutter if I don't know

Yesssssssssssssss someone finally asked it!!!

I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to explain this and show everybody my inverted pyramid :D :D :D

I present, The Inverted Pyramid of Revising a Book

Now I’ll explain each section of the inverted pyramid:

THE FIRST DRAFT

This should be self-explanatory. You write the first draft. For novels, 75-150,000+ words of the world inside your head.

PLOT, CONTENT, SCENES, AND MAJOR CHARACTERS

Go back and fix it all up. Did you tell the story you wanted to tell? Did you include scenes and events that add up to the conclusion you present?

Are there any unnecessary scenes you could delete, or scenes that are redundant to other scenes? Get rid of them. If this means entire chapters have to go, wave bye-bye.

Do your main characters have believable back stories and arcs, and do they act appropriately in character at all times?

Is there any point in time when your characters do something that they literally WOULD NOT DO? Change that up.

WORLD-BUILDING, CHARACTERIZATION, HONING IN PLOT POINTS

Now pay attention to the deeper aspects of the story. Delve into the world your characters live in. Do they react appropriately? Does any part of society influence them more than others?

What does your world look like? Delve into the setting. The cultures, the technology, the history.

Work with your secondary characters and how they interact with your main characters. What role do they serve overall? Does the main character’s journey affect them at all, or vice versa?

Tighten up plot points. Stay concise if possible.

SENTENCE STRUCTURE, FLOW AND PACING OF SCENES

Now that the major parts of your story have been patted down, you can begin focusing on the technical stuff. Start broad.

Do you have redundant sentences? Do you start multiple sentences the same way?

Throw in short sentences.

Drop the pronoun from the beginning of a sentence every now and then.

Use commas instead of ‘and’ if you find you use ‘and’ a lot.

Does the flow of sentences and paragraphs fit with the tone of the scene?

Chop sentences apart. Use quick, sharp words.

Or combine sentences and flowery language and soft words.

BETA READER CRITIQUES AND SUGGESTIONS

Now that you’ve really patted this thing down, find people willing to read your work (hopefully for free).

Ask them to point out inconsistencies. Are they confused by anything?

Beta readers can tell you when things are boring or exciting. They’ll laugh. They’ll fangirl. They’ll beg you for more chapters.

Your brain is soft from so much revising. Beta readers are fresh, and will pick out things you’ve glossed over from seeing it so many times.

Shake things up and host a video chat for you and your betas! It’s a great way to make friends :)

PUNCTUATION AND MISSING WORDS

NOWWWWW you’ve finished all the major revisions and your story makes sense!!! All that’s left to do is get the broom and sweep it up (or the vacuum cleaner, or generate a black hole from the Large Hadron Collider to suck out all the errors because that’s super-effective**).

This is the nitty gritty stuff, and I highly recommend either forcing yourself to read really, really slow, or better yet, read your book out loud, start to finish.

You’ll trip up over misplaced commas and periods.

You’ll literally hear when a sentence is awkward.

Your brain will get confused when there’s a missing word.

Fill in the gaps, hammer down the boards, tidy up the place like you’ve got guests coming over.

THE FINAL DRAFT

OMG

OMG IT’S FINISHED AND YOU CAN SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD AND BUY PHYSICAL COPIES THAT YOU CAN HOLD AND SMELL AND RUB ALL OVER YOUR FACE AND DRAW IN AND DOG-EAR AND TOTE AROUND TO SHOW PEOPLE AND SIGN AUTOGRAPHS AND BECOME YOUR OWN LITTLE CELEBRITY!!!

Email the newspaper (I’ve appeared multiple times).

Email the local TV station (I’ve appeared on live TV).

Email book talk radio shows (I’ve had a Q&A for an hour on live radio).

……..Marketing is hard.

I hope that helps!

N.B. **please do not ask CERN for permission to use the Large Hadron Collider to create black holes that suck out all the errors in your book. You’ll look silly, and you might destroy Earth in the process.

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