automnelog

[automnelog]

Skins UK season one was actually good and compelling, and then the rest was shit. Like I had no enjoyment in season two, I watched glimpses of season 3, and it was just party drugs and sex. At least season one had actual plot lines outside of that, but the rest seemed kind of lost.

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so like at what point does this blog become a pit of radioactive waste? available evidence suggests it has not quite reached that point yet but i've also -- hilariously -- not been trying.

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me when someone I hate starts liking things I like

like get ur grubby hands out of my interests I BEG 💔💔💔💔💔

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One of the reasons I'll always stand by the 2013 Carrie remake is how it perfectly understands the psychology of a bully in the way few pieces of media do. The bullies in the original Carrie film adaptation, the one everyone praises, are cartoonish caricatures rather than real people, the all the interiority of Snidely Whiplash.

But in the 2013 movie you get to the scene where Chris Hargensen, the leader of the bullies, is brought into the principal's office and told that she'll not only be suspended, but banned from going to prom for how she and her pals bullied Carrie at the beginning of the movie, and the actress who plays her does this phenomenal job of conveying how, in Chris's mind, she's the victim. There's no cartoonish ranting or villainous monologuing, but rather a genuine outrage at a situation that she truly believes is unjust.

The actress and the movie both understand that in Chris's mind, she is entitled to torment Carrie - that her tormenting Carrie isn't just enjoyable, but a right that she has, a just and good thing for her to do because it the world is structured for her to do so, and that denying her that right is an injustice. The warped logic of the bully isn't "Haha I love being mean and evil," but rather, "When I hurt people, they deserve it and I deserve to enjoy doing it, because that is good and just."

And I think that's important because, like, we all have our Chris Hargensen moments. Every one of us has had a time where we felt entitled to be cruel, and recognizing that is important to being a better person. You can't let yourself fall into the trap of believing that your cruelty is always justified, or else Carrie is going to throw your car into a brick wall with you inside it.

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A SECOND ACCOUNT HAS BEEN MADE

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My brother keep saying that I can't move on from THEM but each time I say what happened, he is flabbergasted at how batshit insane it was. The girl was going around telling other people how this girl stole her sexual assault story (she did not)!

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I know it sounds egotistical every time I say "I'm completely sure there's no one else on earth like me, never has been, and never will be" but im LONELY about it!!! I want to be surrounded by people like me. I miss people who don't exist and never have

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i love to be RIGHT i love to be VINDICATED i love realizing i was never crazy and was in fact just correct. holy shit.

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I could live on crouton

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i think i’m a bad person and im not sure how to fix it

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doing things For the Plot and the plot is my life snowballing out of control until I eventually die or go to prison #spotaneous free thinker

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I can't wait for autumn to starttttt I can't with the warm weather

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If I get prosecuted, it was all for a novel, I swear. It was all an experiment to find inspiration

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I feel like I’m already dead but I have to keep on living

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Really sick of every time someone complains about their toxic ex they’re always just like “they had bpd” and everyone else is like ah that makes sense then. How about ahahaha I throw your ass into a stampede

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I nearly got banned from Instagram lmao. But I'm taking it slow. Life will go on. I might even stop caring before it even works. I'll be away from my phone soon, so it will stay lowkey for a short while.

I'm still in the set up stages of the persona. Here's the stages:

1. The set up. Accounts to follow, the interests, profile picture, bio, name, etc... Start commenting on big posts to cop a feel of the character.

2. The Establishment. You seem like a real person, with interests and things. You probably have followed accounts and interests in common.

3. The Hook. A follow, a follow back. A comment, an interaction, anything. You're not part of the clique, but you're close enough.

4. Life Goes On. The longest stage. It's where you have already caught your people. You try to act normally, as if you were real (because you aren't) and you look. You gather your informations.

5. Death. Once you got what you want, you need to have a "dying" period. You post less, you interact less, you might even have been added to group chats so you participate less. Then, when it's useless now, you leave the boat. Account closed. Goodbye.

I haven't stopped, I just had to take time to craft this fake life

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It has happened to me a couple of times to being recognized by people I do not know. I just have a very basic face. Featureless face, if you will. I could be anyone.