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Just a reminder that when Shakespeare was quarantined because of the plague, he wrote My Immortal.

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how do words

Threaten your imagination into compliance and slap them hands onto your keyboard, or get ready to stab paper repeatedly with the pointy ink stick.

Scream angrily into the void for at least thirty minutes.

Wait for void to scream back.

Write down whatever returns, trapping those motherfuckers on your page. Spend at least an hour deciphering and beating them with a stick until they fall somewhat in line, then bask in the fact that you now have words on a page, which is considerably more than you had before.

Results may vary, but there’s always tomorrow.

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What being drunk is like, for fic writers who have never been drunk before

Nothing wrong with never being drunk (in fact, it’s probs a good thing) but it can be hard to write convincingly about alcohol if you’re not familiar with it, and I’ve read enough fics where 5 secs into reading I’m already cringing sooooo

1. It takes more than 1 beer to get drunk

Personally, it takes me (a small female occasional-drinker) either around 3 shots of any spirit, 2 large glasses of wine or 2.5 beer-like drinks within a short space of time to get over tipsy into drunk territory, and to be really drunk-drunk, a bottle of wine (3 or 4 glasses), or 5 shots should do it. BUT IT VARIES FROM PERSON TO PERSON

2. Lime and salt is literally only for tequila

and I know like less than 3 people who actually enjoy the taste of any alcohol

3. Your vision isn’t “blurry” or “foggy”

Alcohol affects your balance not your eyes, so the room defo can seem like it’s spinning but you’ll still have your 20/20. Sometimes it’s hard to focus, but it’s not constant - just every so often your eyes miss their mark.

4. Speech is less “slurred”, more in the wrong order

A great thread on writing drunk dialogue here: https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-write-dialogue-for-a-drunk-character 

5. Not everyone gets hyper-sexual when drunk

It’s less a state of horniness and more a state of lowered inhibitions and social pressure

6. Coffee doesn’t sober you up like magic

Alcohol dissipates from the body at a rate of about .015% of BAC per hour, and drinking coffee doesn’t alter that rate

7. Alcohol rarely sends you into a deep and heavy sleep

You’re more likely to sleep fitfully and keep waking (sometimes to be sick, more likely to piss/drink water - sometimes just bcos being drunk is uncomfortable), unless you’re an alcoholic who depends on drink for sleep

8. You don’t *hic* in the middle of every sentence!!

If the drink is carbonated, then maybe, but you’re way more likely to have a problem with bloating etc with alcohol 

9. You don’t go straight to black-out, speech-slurring drunk

It takes a lot of units and likely a couple of hours to work up to this stage - for different kinds of drunk this webpage is good: http://krisnoel.com/post/40871345058/my-character-is-drunk 

10. Having drunk sex is difficult, awkward and rarely sexy

And you’re more likely to make-out with your friends than any strangers at a club, just because

11. Hangovers are rarely pounding, light-aversion torture

The younger/more tolerant you are, the better. Generally, for a night of heavy but not black-out drinking, you’ll be thirsty, probs nauseous and tired. The room may still be spinning but in an annoying, not painful way, and this’ll go away after a couple of hours and eating something, getting fresh air or having a shower (whatever works for you)

12. People talk nonsense when drunk

You are less likely to get a love confession and more likely to hear about all the rules for a complicated game they just invented, right that second

13. Everyone is different

Don’t make all your characters hyper, or depressive, or angry. For most of the night they won’t get to that stage anyway. Also, remember this whole list is based on my experiences, so feel free to ignore it all and do your own thing. 

Happy drunk writing! 

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we had an english final on the book we just finished today... and when I got up to turn in my essay I saw the girl next to me was writing her essay on the sound of music instead of the book... and I just really hope shes doing ok

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please. i want a lizard. 

friendly reminder that

if we’re mutuals, you are allowed to slip 1 (One) small lizard into my pocket if you see me at the farmer’s market

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5 frustrating workshop rules that made me a better writer

Throughout the 15 workshops I joined in college and grad school, I encountered two types of writing rules.

First, there were the best-practice guidelines we’ve all heard, like “show don’t tell.” And then there were workshop rules, which the professor put in place not because they’re universal, but because they help you grow within the context of the workshop.

My college’s intro writing course had 5 such rules:

No fantasy, supernatural, or sci-fi elements.

No guns.

No characters crying.

No conflict resolution through deus ex machina.

No deaths.

When I first saw the rules, I was baffled. They felt weirdly specific, and a bit unfair. But when our professor, Vinny, explained their purpose (and assured us he only wanted us to follow the rules during this intro workshop, not the others to come), I realized what I could learn from them.

1. No fantasy, supernatural, or sci-fi elements.

Writers need to be able to craft round characters, with clear arcs. While you can hone those skills writing any type of story, it can be more difficult when juggling fantastical elements, because it’s easy to get caught up in the world, or the magic, or the technology, and to make that the focus instead of the characters. So Vinny encouraged us to exclude such elements for the time being, to keep us fully focused on developing strong, dynamic characters.

2. No guns.

Weapons have a place in many stories, but when writers include a gun, they often use it to escalate the plot outside of the realm of personal experience and into what Vinny called “Hollywood experience.” He wanted us to learn how to draw from our own observations and perceptions of life, rather than the unrealistic action, violence, and drama we’d seen in movies, so he made this rule to keep us better grounded in our own experiences.

3. No characters crying.

When trying to depict sadness, writers often default to making characters cry. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, tears are just one way to show grief, and they aren’t always the most subtle or emotionally compelling. That’s why Vinny challenged us to find other ways to convey sadness — through little gestures, strained words, fragile interactions, and more. It was difficult, but opened us up to depicting whole new gradients of grief and pain.

4. No conflict resolution through deus ex machina.

This is the only one of the rules I’d say is generally universal. Meaning “God from the machine,” deus ex machina is a plot device where a character’s seemingly insurmountable problem is abruptly resolved by an outside force, rather than their own efforts. These endings are bad for various reasons, but Vinny discouraged them because he wanted us to understand how important it was for our characters to confront their struggle and its consequences.

5. No deaths.

Death is inherently dramatic and can be used to good effect, but many writers use death as crutch to create drama and impact. Writers should be able to craft engaging, meaningful stories, even without killing off their characters, so this rule challenged us to find other methods of giving weight to our stories (such as through internal conflict).

How these rules helped me grow as a writer

First things first, I’ll say it again: apart from #4 (deus ex machina), these rules were never meant to be universally applied. Instead, their purpose was to create temporary barriers and challenges to help us develop key skills and write in new, unfamiliar ways.

For me, the experience was invaluable. I liked the way the rules challenged and stretched my abilities, driving me to write stories I’d have never otherwise attempted. They made me more flexible as a writer, and while I don’t follow the rules anymore (I LOVE me some fantasy), I’ll always be thankful for how they shaped my writing.

My recommendation to you?

Give some of these rules a shot! Follow them temporarily while writing 2-4 short stories — but remember to always keep their purpose in mind, because the rules themselves will only help if you understand what they’re trying to achieve.

Write with purpose, and you’ll always be growing.

— — —

For more tips on how to craft meaning, build character-driven plots, and grow as a writer, follow my blog.

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angst & post-angst sentences.   feel free to change diction, pronouns, and the like around to make the sentences more suitable. these sentences are kept vague to imply but avoid mentioning specific triggers besides death—feel free to mention specifics in your ask.

“ don’t touch him! ”

“ please, don’t hurt _____! ”

“ i had nothing to do with that. ”

“ is this my fault? ”

“ you lied to me. ”

“ [name]? —oh, i’m hallucinating. ”

“ she’ll never hurt you again. ”

“ did you kill him? ”

“ you have to stop this. ”

“ it’s been weeks. is it not getting easier? ”

“ i just need to know that something’s real. ”

“ you can resist it. you have to. ”

“ i’m sorry, i thought i saw—… ”

“ every day you’re becoming more like her. ”

“ if i go, he’ll leave you alone. ”

“ you can’t tell ____ that i’m doing this. ”

“ we’re gonna see each other again, right? right? ”

“ she’s not you. ”

“ i can’t hurt him. ”

“ i don’t feel like the same person i was before it happened. ”

“ she’ll go through you to get to me. ”

“ it’s nothing personal. ”

“ you can’t expect me to believe nothing happened, not when you flinch everytime something touches you. ”

“ i thought you knew. ”

“ please, don’t trust me. ”

“ he was just a kid. ”

“ i need you more than you need me. ”

“ if you really wanted to help, you would leave. ”

“ i needed to make it stop. ”

“ do anything she says, don’t give her a reason to hurt you. ”

“ you really don’t remember. _____, you tried to kill me. ”

“ have you ever seen the life leave someone’s eyes? ”

“ i know you can’t talk about it, but i’m going to stay with you regardless. ”

“ hey, everything okay? [name]? [name]! ”

“ you died. ”

“ i deserved worse. ”

“ you never came. ”

“ you would’ve let me die. ”

“ beg. ”

“ the problem is you keep thinking i’m a good person. ”

“ it’s not about me, anymore. ”

“ please tell me he’s lying to me. ”

“ you’re not actually considering this. ”

“ look me in the eyes and say that again. ”

“ you have no right. ”

“ i don’t believe you. ”

“ i love you. i’m sorry. ”

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Body Language Cheat Sheet for Writers

As described by Selnick’s article:

Author and doctor of clinical psychology Carolyn Kaufman has released a one-page body language cheat sheet of psychological “tells” (PDF link) fiction writers can use to dress their characters.

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[Softly but with a lot of feeling] fuck

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this is really beautiful. sad. but beautiful  

a comic about trauma

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Just a little TED talk

Last school year in the spring my English teacher presented our class with a challenge:  Create a TED talk about something you’re passionate about. It seems easy, right? Well. For me, it wasn't. I knew immediately that I wanted to talk about the issues  LGBT  youth face, but I didn't know how. I’ve gotten so much hate for my orientation and identity that, even with the things I’m publically out and proud with, I live in constant fear of ridicule and hate. Let me tell you, this is no way to live. Eventually, though, I figured it out. Religion. I just knew my TED talk project had to involve religion.

At the time my mother was using religion against me in many ways and shaming me for my choices. I was facing a lot of subtle hates at school and I just knew I wasn't the only one. The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that, at least with the kids my age, it was mostly because they simply didn't know! So just like that, I had my topic - my purpose. Educate the other youth of my school and motivate them to do better, and stand up against hate of all kinds.  

Don't get me wrong, I was still scared out of my mind. I’d been called out in that very class a few times for my  LGBT involvement, but somehow this desire, this need to make the world a better place for other  LGBT  youth took over, even if it was in the smallest way. The words to my script just... flowed out of me. I knew what I needed to say and how to say it. At first, I wasn't even planning on using my own experiences, but without them, the talk felt empty - like I was speaking from a detached point of view.

Soon enough, the day came to submit our talks via video, but for me that just... Didn't feel right. For some reason, I felt like my teacher needed to hear it in person. So I asked if instead, I could come present to her directly before school. She said yes, so two days later I did. I showed up to school early on the day of a funeral for the man who had appointed himself my grandpa the moment he found out the way one of my others treated me.

I literally gave my talk in funeral clothes.

by the end, my teacher was crying. The tears weren't just in her eyes the way some teachers get during certain presentations, but actually falling down her cheeks.

I hadn't realized how powerful my message could be yet, and had actually recently started to doubt it due to the reactions of a few strangers when I practiced giving it to my friends on a train. She said I should still make a video, post it to youtube or something. I considered it, really I did. but doubtful thoughts started to creep into my mind. Was it really a message people needed to hear? Was I the right one to give it?

I hit a really rough patch of my life, and I went to a really dark place. Most days I’m still there. Floating scared and lonely in the dark. I’d found out the world could be even darker than I’d ever thought possible and lost all hope of finding a light. The only reason I didn't end it all was that there were two people I knew it would crush. My best friend in the entire world who told me daily I wasn't allowed to leave them like that, and my significant other.

I have a story. I’ve considered writing about it, but it's dark and lonely. Full of pain no one ever had the courage to see. I finally came forward about it. Literally begged for help.  No one who could help listened.  No one listened could help.

”Where’s your proof?”

That’s the question they always ask.

That’s the question that always sends me back to the dark place.

So, I never felt the motivation to go forward with it. Get my talk out there into the world. I lost track of the light beside the glowing individual that, once in a while, was able to grab my hand and drag me to it like a horse to water. They still have to do that to be honest.

They’re there though. They haven't left. Haven't asked for proof. Took my words as enough.

They helped me find other people too, little lights in my life who I know are just as bright in the world, who I love dearly even if they don't break my darkness apart in the same way.

I don't really know why I’m going on like this. Like I said with the talk, sometimes the words just come and before I know it I’ve regurgitated pages of them. Often having to delete paragraphs and paragraphs, most of which I feel are just as important to my point. I did that here too. You probably can't tell.

Point is, yesterday I saw something that led me to a little trail of light. Gave me a little trickle of hope...

Graffiti in a bathroom stall.

It’s unclear what came first, or second or third or fourth even, but it is clear what the little conversation was. I took a picture of it, weird I know, but it really struck me. Someone at one point wrote something about “fags.” I’m not sure what, it's partially scribbled over. But around that? Several messages in different handwritings defending the  LGBT community. One of them stating, “Wow, Imagine still being homophobic in 2019,” another “You lookin like a clown.” Seeing these silly words marked into the stall I nearly cried. It gave me a light to hang to, weirdly enough, even if it only lasted until I once again reached home and thus my biggest tormentor.

Then, tonight, when I was looking at pictures on my phone, looking for a light to save me from the dark place for just a small while, I saw the picture. I scrolled through youtube and saw “In a heartbeat” recommended to watch again.

I was struck once again and felt a need to get my words out there too. To let someone, anyone, know that they aren't alone.

Give someone that trickle of light.

So, without further ado... the script to my TED talk: Man, I wish homophobia was a real thing…. Like, obviously the thing the word is used to represent is there - the blatant hate and discrimination towards the LGBT community - but phobia implies a fear. For example, the fear of heights  (acrophobia)  the fear of spiders (arachnophobia) or the fear of snakes (ophidiophobia). Can you imagine if people went around saying things like “blackphobia” and “womanphobia” instead of racist and sexist? Absolute chaos would ensue. People would have a meltdown. This is because, in this modern-day, people know that these things aren’t fear, they are an intolerance. So, by using the word “homophobia” it gives people the ability to rationalize their hate in the name of being afraid. as religions do.

This is what we, as the up and coming generation, need to change. We can help get rid of this hate and discrimination by referring to it as such. By calling it as it is - intolerance.

One extreme example of an organization that uses fear as a guise for their discrimination is the Westboro Baptist Church. They’re so hateful they’ve become somewhat of a joke to many in the LGBT community. *miles* Their website is literally “godhatesfags.com” and when any person dares to say this may be hateful, the church replies by simply saying “Gospel preaching is not hate.” Can you see where I’m going with this?

No, not every religion is as blatantly hateful as this one, their hate is often more subtle - at least to people it’s not directed towards. Living in Utah as an out pansexual teen I’ve been on the receiving end of this hate, even from some of my closest friends. And this isn’t their fault! They’ve been raised in such a way they don’t even realize they’re doing it. Most people are blissfully unaware of the ways LGBT youth are discriminated against every single day, so let me explain.

One of my best friends, who I will keep anonymous, said one of the most hateful things I’ve ever taken to heart just this last fall. We were skipping a church class and sitting outside when we somehow stumbled onto the topic of marriage. I mentioned that it didn’t seem fair that LGBT people couldn’t get married in the temple. Her response was “Well, I think it shouldn’t be allowed. Gay people are fine, but forcing us to allow them to marry in the temple takes away our freedom of religion.”

And, I guess that’s what everyone is so afraid of. Their rights and freedoms being taken away in exchange for ours. But as a wise person once said, “More rights for me doesn’t mean less rights for you! It’s not pie!”

I ask you to think real quickly - excuse my language - how many times has someone told you to “Burn in hell” or told you that if you don’t change your ways it’s unavoidable. I’ll give you a second to count. _______________. Now, you probably only used one hand right? 

I ran out of hands to count on within a week of coming out - and I only counted people, not the number of times. To this day I get told this phrase or some variation at least once a week.

Now, let me talk about school and bullying. I have a very specific story with this, but rest fully assured it’s not even close to being the only one, or the worst one. Just a couple weeks ago I was walking through the hall and got stopped by some kid I don’t even know, just so he could call me a “faggie.” I don’t know if you know the history of the word “fag,” but basically when the whole thing with witches trials was going on, people also burned LGBT people. However, they didn’t think them “worthy” to be burned on the stake, so they threw them in with the leftover broken sticks known as “fags.” So, as you can imagine, being called that is quite hurtful. I went right to one of my friends and explained what happened, and they misheard and thought I said the kid called me “fattie.” They immediately freaked and explained that I wasn’t fat, that the kid was stupid, etc. etc. When I explained that he had, in fact, insulted me for being gay and not for being fat her attitude completely changed. She basically shrugged me off and told me not to be dramatic.

That’s what everyone does, isn’t it? If it’s something we know a person shouldn’t be bullied for - like hair color, how fat or skinny they are, their acne - the bully is reprimanded. As they should be. But when a student goes to complain about bullying or exclusion over being gay or trans, adults often respond with “Well, have you tried…. Not being gay?” I was literally called an abomination in front of a teacher…. And they did nothing!

Now, if my stories alone don’t convince you that this is a real problem let me show you the facts of suicide. According to Utah Health Officials, quote “Among Utah youth aged 10-17 who died by suicide during 2011-2015 with circumstantial data...Of the 40 cases that included information on the decedent's sexual orientation, 15% were identified as sexual minorities.” Close quote. That isn’t even counting how many were closeted, or Trans.  Then besides that, this research on suicide and the causes is hard to conduct, because, simply put, the dead can’t speak for themselves.  “if the rate isn't zero we have work to do”

A study at the University of Georgia about a year ago showed that 70% of LGBT Mormons met the criteria for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yeah. From a church that supposedly promotes love. “we are inflicting trauma on out queer youth by asking and requiring them to go to church”

Now, to fix this problem, nothing huge or drastic even has to happen, at least for the first few steps. And I’m definitely not saying to stop believing in your church. religion is wonderful. I'm just asking you to follow a little less blindly. Like I said, we are the up and coming generation! We have the power to change the world in the palm of our hands! We often just don’t realize it because the people in power in this world tend to take all the control they can, and we just let them! So, let’s take it back. Let’s take that power and use it. Start by simply paying attention to what you say. Don’t rationalize something hateful that you say, either out loud or in your head, by using religion as your excuse. And, if you hear someone else saying something hateful, step in. Do you know how many lives could actually be saved if all of us just made an effort to watch our words?

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from “ask polly: why should i keep going?”

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me, with a vague plot idea, 1 (one) character name, and an outline that consists of mostly question marks:

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me

“Due to personal reasons, I will be disappearing under mysterious circumstances.”